"How?" I asked before changing my mind. "No, better question. Why?!"
Paddy mealy raised an eyebrow at my outburst before he launched into an explanation. "I have been observing your progress with self-transfiguration and realized that it should be possible for me to do the same. As you can see my efforts were a success. As for why, I believe I will be able to serve you more ably in this form, at least some of the time." he stated.
"Huh..." I sighed and scratched at the back of my neck. There was never a dull moment at Hogwarts. Well... there were, but... "So… Human… How's that working out for you so far."
"I did experience some disorientation initially and had some trouble moving about without stumbling. My new size, and the different proportions and length of my limbs, likely have something to do with my difficulties. It has taken some getting used to." Paddy admitted. "I believe it will take some time before I'm able to move about with the same ease as I do in my real body."
"Practice makes perfect..." I offered lamely, still in the process of wrapping my head around this latest development.
When I'd started playing around with self-transfiguration, and even turning myself into other races, I never considered that the opposite might happen. I didn't even consider them able to do it at all, which was silly in hindsight. Paddy was more than capable in the spellcasting department; I suppose it was foolish of me to think he only limited himself to household charms and dueling charms. Thinking about it now I would not be surprised if he had taken part in what the school had to offer. Staying hidden wouldn't be much of a hassle for a house-elf.
"Indeed, sir." Paddy agreed. "I'm confident that I will have it sorted shortly. There will be no disruption in my ability to serve."
"Not something I was worried about but good to hear..." I assured him weakly.
He bowed again, and then the room fell into one of those uncomfortable silences. Normally this would not bother me overly much, but I usually had something I could do at those times. Now I was just standing here, in the door, staring at my now human house-elf., not knowing what to say or do.
"So... eh... is there anyone in the room, in the Room of Requirement?" I managed at last.
"Miss. Lys is currently within, sir," Paddy answered promptly.
"Ah, cool. I think I'll check in on her. She what she is up to and all that." I said and quickly made my way towards my bedroom.
So Paddy was human now, part-time at least. Or maybe full-time. Should I have asked about that? Would that be rude? Man, I needed some time to digest this. What would this mean for other house-elves? If Paddy could do it, then so could they. Would they even be interested if they knew? Scratch that, they probably already knew, they were all over this place, and I doubt Paddy saw any reason to hide something like that. Should I tell him to? No, it was too late for that, they already knew. Maybe I should talk with some of the other elves?
Those questions and more were swirling around my head as I opened the door into the Room of Requirement and stepped in. The Room was in a setting that had started to become more common in the last few months. Gone was the dwarfish forge, with lava flowing from the walls and giant stone faces starring down on you. In its place was a far more modern setup that looked more like a lab. A steampunk lab that is, with a bit of a Victorian twist. It looked like the insides of a brick building and I go the impression that it was underground for some reason.
I hadn't been allowed in that often, mostly because I couldn't keep my hands to myself. But in my defense, there was so much interesting-looking stuff just lying around, if she didn't want me touching stuff in here she should pack it away where I can't see it.
The room itself was rectangular and the size of an indoor basketball court and looked to be inside of a red brick building. There were brick arches along the walls lengthwise that led into arched rooms either used for storage or as workspaces for more specialized stuff. The part nearest to the door was dominated by the huge furnace that Lys had constructed to produce what I needed for my little project. It was an animated mechanical monstrosity and I was sure it would come alive one day and eat someone. All the mechanical arms inside of it that was there to help manipulate the metal before it set didn't help any.
All around it was worktables filled with partially finished projects and strange machines, some I could sort of guess at what it might be, like the parts that were some sort of robot, others I had no clue about. I poked at a boxy-looking contraption that looked suspiciously like a 3D printer. It was made more suspicious because I was sure I'd mentioned something like that to Lys at some point. It couldn't be, right?
I walked around the furnace and immediately spotted Lys at the other end of the room and had the second shock of the day. I almost started laughing but managed to swallow it. She had made her own squidwards! Oh, that was just too precious. Now, credit where it is due. I could see right off that Lys had taken my little brainfart and refined it into something that was right out of a sci-fi movie. The tentacles were made out of likely hundreds of small orchidarium segments that made it look very much like the tentacle arms used by Otto Octavius in Spider-Man 2. They weren't quite as thick, though, and they had three pairs of arms instead of two like Doc Ock. But like the good doctor, they terminated into a three-pronged claw.
She was working on something, it looked like a sphere about the size of a beachball, made entirely out of orchidarium. From what I could see it was separated into three parts, one dome and two... quarter domes, slices? Something like that. All three parts were held aloft on one of her six arms and from the look of it, she was working on fitting them with hinges to that the smaller parts could swing open to reveal the interior. And as I watched I saw her move one of her tentacles forwards, the claws snapped backward and I saw some sort of tool project forward from the "palm" in the middle of the claws. She did something and then retracted the tool and then another one popped out a moment later.
I had to hold in a squeal of excitement. She must have used space expansion on the compartment at the end of the tentacle to be able to do that. She must have taken some inspiration from my frequent use of space expansion and then added her twist to it. Genius. I'd never considered using it like that. I should have thought about it when I created the bullets for my gun, it was the obvious next step. The applications for it were just about endless so long as you could figure out a good mechanism to control it all. And Lys was working on it, boy was she ever working on it.
It was amazing how far she'd managed to come in a few short years. It felt like yesterday that she was banging out stuff on an anvil. I smiled and picked up one of the books lying about. It was a muggle one, about basic electrical engineering. I flipped it open and saw a diagram on how to build a basic electric motor. I remember making one of those in high school once. I wasn't sure how useful it could be when you could just animate something if you wanted it moving. On the other hand, power would not be a problem. A quick enchant and you would have all the electricity you would ever need.
I wonder if I could find some use for that.
Lys certainly thought she would and it would seem that her solo forays into the muggle world had a hand in accelerating her progress. I wonder what she had planned for all this. I turned my attention to her again and saw that she had discarded the dome she had been fiddling with and had replaced it with one that had several square holes cut in it and was now in the process of fitting the quarter domes to it instead. I guess she was going for more options or more access to the interior.
What was she making? By the looks of it, the finished product was supposed to be a sphere. But by going by the positioning of the holes it wasn't supposed to attach to anything unless it was supposed to be skewed. I didn't see Lys tolerating that. Well, nothing for it then, I'd just had to ask.
With that in mind, I walked on soft feet towards her, making sure to keep out of her peripheral vision. Once I'd managed to get up behind her I leaned in, putting my mouth just by her ear.
"What'cha doing?"
Lys jerked as if shocked by cattleprod and her squidwards exploded apart, sweeping equipment and parts of the table she was standing in front of and forcing me to backpedal lest I get bean by their failing about. I cracked up laughing which caused Lys to snap around and glare at me fiercely, which just made me laugh harder.
"Drew! You useless lump! What do ya think her doing!" She roared and her squidwards snapped forward and grabbed my, lifting me off the floor by my arms.
"Oh, just hanging around," I told her blithely.
"Yeh think yer being funny, but yer not." Lys hissed. "I should pull your limbs off."
"That sound like an overreaction," I noted. I concentrated a bit. "Aperta!"
The claws holding me snapped open letting me drop to the floor. I dusted off some imaginary dust while erecting a shield, which handily stopped Lys squidwards from grabbing me again. I smirked at her furious face and chuckled a bit as her tentacles slammed into my shield again before retracting and disappearing behind her back. She must have an expanded space on that little pack on her back. Nice.
"So what are you working on, Shortstack? I asked, ignoring her infuriated look. "Looks complicated."
"None of yer beeswax, you irritatin' beanpole!" Lys burst out.
"So... Paddy is human now." I put out there and watch Lys still as my words register with her. She is so easy to derail.
"Wot are ya on about now?" She asks irritably.
"Yeah, surprised the hell outa me too." I commiserated while purposely ignoring that I just managed to irritate her further. Multitasking.
"I'm not in the mood for yer shinanigans, Drew." Lys growled at me. "I have work to do."
"Are you ever in the mood for my shenanigans?" I asked and waggled my eyebrows at me.
"No."
I chuckled at her flat tone. "I figured. Wasn't messing though, he really turned into a human."
Lys looked at me for a long moment and I could see the wheels turning in her head as she tried to figure out my angle. Her distrust warmed my cold heart. "I reckon we ain't talking about polyjuice here, are we?"
"You reckon correctly, madam," I confirm grandly. "Just plain old transfiguration."
Lys frowned. "That ain't possible."
"Turns out it is!" I told her gleefully. "I figured it out a bit ago."
"That so." She said skeptically. "Well, how do ya go about doing it then?"
I shrugged at her while smiling my most shift smile. "How do you turn someone into a weasel?"
Lys frowned at me and opened her mouth, likely to berate me, but then closed it again and I saw her think my worlds over. I could see the moment she connected the dots. Her face twisted into an expression of horrified realization, then disgust, before it settled on resignation.
"It can't be that easy." She complained.
"As it turns out, it can," I affirmed smugly.
Lys huffed in irritation, before firing off a smirk of her own. "So you've just made polyjuice obsolete. You'll get no thanks from potion makers for that. They make quite a bit from the sale, or so I hear."
"Their profits are safe," I said with an eyeroll. "You still can't assume the appearance of anyone else. I can turn into a dwarf, but it will be me as a dwarf. I'll look the same every time."
Lys crossed her arms and looked at me grumpily. "Not much use then, is it?"
"Oh, I'm sure I can find uses for it," I said airily. "And Paddy found it damn useful."
Lys merely grunted.
"So, what are you working on again?"
"Get out of here!"
Ah, all was right in the world again.