Hey, Folks.
I hope you've been well, as always.
Me?
Bah.
Lbvs.
Man...
The term "No good deed goes unpunished" seems to be haunting me as of late, I swear.
That shit sucks.
It has gotten to the point where I am starting to essentially fear being kind for some strange and random Universal reaction...
Like, why am I getting punished for doing KIND things!?
Some sort of twisted balance?
How the hell would punishing the person doing the kind act balance anything, anywhere!?
I am rolling the shit out of my digital eyes, Folks.
I will leave it at that, lol.
I'm sorry, I just needed to vent a little...
Thank you kindly for hearing me out, yeah?
Young me would have really, really appreciated it and you.
See you soon, Folks.
Enjoy.
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August 8th, 2013.
Journal #069.
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I guess that's kinda ironic, considering the high I get, and the thoughts that come with it.
But, weed really isn't for me.
I'm high as I write this...
My mind is so clouded...
I can't say if this feeling is good or bad,
But it works right now.
I look forward to the pill, lol.
-----
Hmm.
This is an interesting one.
Some of it didn't age well, lol.
-I still love the act and thought of 69, as any sane person should!
-The part about weed "not being for me" was true at that point in my life, and I am still grateful that I didn't start my smoking journey till my late 20s. I couldn't imagine being high in high school, lbvs. I am sure that I have at least a mild form of ADD, folks. This and my hyperactive imagination would not have been a good combination.
I started smoking at a later age, and mostly for my existential anxiety. It works well for me, and keeps the edge off, you know?
If you know, you know.
-The singer known as Seal has a song called Kiss from a Rose. In that song, he says:
"Love remains, the drug that's the high, not the pill."
I've always felt that.
I've always agreed to that.
I think that the pill is not love, but the effect of it. The pill is the person who inspires that love within you. Love is the high that comes from said pill.
I was waiting for something more.
For her.
That gorgeous, gothic, raincloud of a woman.
She -to me- was the pill, and loving her made me feel a natural, pleasant sort of potent, palpable high.
I didn't need any form of outside help, just as long as I could interact with her...
I feel like that is what "the love of your life" kinda feels like, you know?
That level of...attraction. Magnetism. Chemistry.
Delusion?
I know now that we were not meant to be all that I had been dreaming of, but just a lesser form of friends.
But young me didn't know that.
Not yet.
I...
A part of me wishes that I could go back and sit and talk with him. To get a knock on your door, and open it...just to see an older version of yourself.
What would you do?
Young me would have let him in and listened to every single word he had to say.
Hmm.
I will leave you all at that, and I hope to see you back here soon enough, yeah?
Take care of yourselves out there. The world doesn't seem to be getting any safer, you know?
Maybe it's just here in America...
I love my country; nonetheless, I need a passport, lmao & lbvs.
I love you all dearly, Readers
And thank you all kindly for 99.93K views!
Let's push it to 100K!
Safe travels, folks.
And as always:
Stay safe.
Stay healthy.
Stay vigilant.
-Redd.