After pointing the Sand Village's Gaara search party in a random direction, Sakura performed the Transformation Jutsu to give herself the semblance of being clothed, then hefted Guy-sensei onto her back and sped towards the Land of Fire's border as fast as she could manage.
Since her portable radio had been destroyed in battle with Sasori, Sakura found herself unable to contact her teammates, which made arranging a rendezvous with the rest of Team Kakashi decidedly troublesome. So, upon reaching the frontier, she made straight for the nearest of the Hidden Leaf's relay stations to send word of her survival.
There were thousands of such outposts scattered across the Land of Fire to aid the Hidden Leaf in coordinating its efforts throughout the country's vast territory. Due to budgetary constraints, not all were especially well-equipped and most lacked essential services; nevertheless, those on the Land of Fire's borders were typically the most advanced— and the one Sakura was heading towards was no exception.
Noticing a broadcast relay tower rising above the treeline, Sakura quickened her pace, and before long she reached her destination atop a small hill. Stepping inside the modest building and finding it empty, she made straight for the counter at the back, where a female clerk was dozing peacefully behind a protective metal grille.
"I'd like to use your radio, please," said Sakura, rummaging in the back pocket of her spats before sliding her shinobi identification card across the counter to the woman. "Registration number 012601."
Restraining the urge to unleash her Inner Karen and complain, Sakura held her tongue as she watched the clerk startle awake and yawn lazily, before casting a brief glance over her card.
"Sorry, radio's out of order," said the woman, her eyes widening as she caught sight of the unconscious man in green onesies slung over Sakura's shoulder. "Need to contact the village? I have a few messenger hawks in the aviary on the roof."
Sakura tried to peer over the woman's shoulder at the radio, but the woman leaned the same way, neatly blocking her view. Sakura narrowed her eyes at her in suspicion, and the woman's own gaze suddenly turned shifty.
"Oh, all right, you got me," she groaned. "The radio made a loud noise earlier and I accidentally spilled my tea all over it— please, please don't report me to my boss!"
A large part of this woman's role at the frontier involved SIGINT— signals intelligence. She had been listening in on the radio communications of the Hidden Sand and the Hidden Valley in the neighbouring Land of Rivers, identifying the frequencies they used and diligently noting everything she overheard, especially messages important enough to be encoded.
That is, until Sakura's Lightning Style: Rasenshuriken unleashed a powerful electromagnetic pulse, frying every piece of electronics within a five‑kilometre radius, including Team Kakashi's radios. The air was flooded with electromagnetic radiation across a wide spectrum, including the errant radio waves that had given the poor clerk beyond that range an almighty fright.
"Talk about unlucky," grumbled Sakura, unaware that she was partly responsible for the radio operator's woes. "Fine, just send a messenger hawk to the village saying there's no need to send search parties after me— oh, and by the way…"
Sakura asked the clerk whether she had seen her teammates pass by earlier.
"Tall, handsome fellow, accompanied by two young men?" the clerk asked for confirmation. "I couldn't say about handsome, as his mask covered most of his face, but those three lads certainly stopped in to pass a message along to the village. I remember they were carrying bodies, four of them total."
Sakura made a quick mental headcount.
One and two were Tenten and Karin, three would be Gaara… Sakura had Guy on her shoulder, so it couldn't be him… so who was number four?
"Blonde fellow?" asked Sakura. "Black and red robes?"
The clerk nodded.
Sakura immediately perked up.
Evidently, Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi had managed to turn the tables on Deidara, capturing him alive. Most importantly, they had prevented Gaara from being taken. In other words, Sakura's first S‑rank mission in some time had been a resounding success, and the Akatsuki's plans had suffered a considerable blow compared to the original timeline.
And so, Sakura quickly penned her message and handed it to the clerk, before taking back her ID card. As she stepped out of the building, she caught a shadow flit overhead out of the corner of her eye. Raising her head, hope welling in her breast(s), she watched as a messenger hawk flapped its wings, climbing into the sky in the very direction she herself was bound.
Once she was out of earshot, springing from branch to branch through the deep forest of the Land of Fire's wildlands, Sakura loosed the victory cry that had been straining to burst from her lungs.
"HAHA! I ACTUALLY DID IT!" Sakura shouted at the top of her lungs. "I TOOK ON THE AKATSUKI BY MYSELF AND WON!! SHAAAA!!"
"Now that's what I like to hear!" Guy's voice rang out in her ears. "Come, young lady! Let us show the world our youthful vigor!"
Guy was finally awake!
Startled, Sakura lost control of the chakra underneath the soles of her bare feet and nearly slipped and fell off the thick branch she had just landed on. Arms pinwheeling to regain her balance, she somehow managed to right herself.
"Blargh…" Guy groaned queasily, stifling a burp. "I think… I think I'm going to be sick…?"
"You'd better not vomit on me!" Sakura cried warningly.
Guy's face was slowly turning the same vivid green as his clothes, so Sakura hastily dropped to firm ground and set him down before giving him a brisk check‑up for any lingering traces of the Hidden Sand's toxins in his system. To her surprise, he was physically in perfect health. Yet when she asked about his symptoms, Guy became curiously evasive.
"There's something you're not telling me, Guy-sensei," Sakura said reproachfully. "I'm a medic, so if you think there's anything I should know…"
"…" Guy mumbled under his breath.
"What was that?" asked Sakura, perking up her ears.
"I said," Guy finally muttered, pouting like a child refusing to eat their vegetables, "I get motion sickness easily."
Was this bloke some kind of Dragon Slayer, or what? And did that make her his personal carriage? How very rude! She wasn't giving him any more piggyback rides, no matter how much he pleaded with her!
Sakura rolled her eyes.
"It's my only weakness… so please!" Guy cried, as he abruptly reached out and grabbed Sakura's ankles. "Swear on your master Kakashi's name that you'll keep this a secret! Young Lee, he looks up to me, and if he were to learn about this shameful weakness of mine, he would surely be disappointed…"
Sakura gently shook him off. In the world of shinobi, notions like First Do No Harm or patient confidentiality were little more than fanciful myths.
"I understand," she replied teasingly. "Your secret is safe with me… and with Lady Tsunade, Kakashi-sensei, Naruto, Sasuke, Lee-kun, my mum, my dad, the next-door neighbours, and of course, everyone in the Konoha Women's Association…"
"Nooooo!"