Chapter 356: Shinji: There's Still a Big Difference Between Me and a Lecher
Caren doesn't actually get much screen time in Magical Illya. Aside from acting like a walking riddle at the school infirmary earlier, this big final battle marks only her second—and last—appearance.
To be honest, Caren's role in Magical Illya is kind of like Black Widow in Iron Man 2, or Wonder Woman in Batman v Superman.
From a script-structure standpoint, none of them needed to be there. Any plot-advancing role they played could've been handled by other characters. Their real purpose was simply… to show up. Their cameo was the point.
Caren is the same. Hiroyama basically added her just for the sake of the cameo.
From Magical Illya's character designs, to the magical-girl plotlines, to all the comedic slice-of-life bits between characters, and finally to Bazett's appearance—you can tell Hiroyama pulled heavily from Fate/Hollow Ataraxia while creating this series.
And since he borrowed so much from Fate/Hollow Ataraxia, how could Caren Ortensia—the second heroine of Fate/Hollow Ataraxia—not make an appearance?
And thus, Caren simply shows up in Magical Illya's story.
Even her iconic "top + tights, looks like she forgot to wear a skirt" outfit is faithfully preserved.
Hiroyama even uses Illya to poke fun at Caren for not wearing a skirt.
Shinji's memory of that outfit is especially vivid—when Caren was finally added to FGO, he even complained that they didn't include that classic design.
"Maybe it'll become an FHA collaboration costume in the future," Shinji had comforted himself back then.
Unfortunately, before he could ever see an FGO x FHA collaboration… he got isekai'd into the Nasuverse.
And then he learned the difference between 2D and 3D.
Some "moe traits" are only cute when you're behind a screen. In real life, they make you want to bang your head against the wall.
Yes, Shinji was talking about Caren—and her poisonous tongue.
If there were a woman whose face is flawless, yet Shinji has absolutely zero interest in, it would be Caren, hands down.
What on earth was Nasu thinking when he created this character?
Shinji suddenly remembered—Caren is only about fifteen in Fate/Hollow Ataraxia. Which means, no matter how you calculate it, she started doing exorcism work at around thirteen or fourteen…
Tsk tsk. When Kinoko goes crazy, he really goes crazy.
Hiroyama merely puts a loli in a sexy outfit.
Nasu, meanwhile, writes a setting where a white-haired loli—
Shinji stopped himself, glancing at Caren with a trace of sympathy.
This girl probably had no idea how miserable her alternate-universe self was. But at least in this world, she's just a slightly weird girl—nothing more.
"What's with that look?"
Unfortunately, Shinji's kind gaze was not interpreted kindly by Caren.
"Shinji, don't tell me you've fallen for me? No way~ I'm a servant of God, you know? I can't be with you."
Caren continued in that merciless tone,
"Of course, if you insist, I can go ask Grandpa. He'd be delighted… and then he'd punch you into becoming a eunuch."
"Why would he turn me into a eunuch?!"
Caren smiled sweetly. "Because if a nun needs a partner, it has to be a priest~"
"What does a priest have to do with getting castrated?! And setting that aside, being a priest doesn't mean taking vows like a monk! Even monks don't get castrated! It's not like I'm becoming a palace eunuch!"
Shinji fired back with fresh indignation.
"That's because someone like you definitely wouldn't be able to hold back. And before you know it—not just girls—even cute boys might become targets."
Caren gave a soft snort through her nose.
"So, to prevent you from doing anything blasphemous while serving as clergy, of course we need some… precautionary measures~ And this," Caren said as she pulled out a book and waved it lightly in front of Shinji's eyes, "comes straight from your favorite Chinese wuxia novels."
Shinji blinked, then focused on the cover.
Printed in big, bold characters: The Smiling, Proud Wanderer (笑傲江湖).
"You—! Are you treating me like Tian Boguang?!"
Shinji swore, if he ever felt sympathy for this woman again, he'd bark like a dog!
◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆
On the TV screen, after discovering the black Servant's destination, Illya and the others split up and rushed to intercept.
Illya and Miyu, as flying magical girls, took off at the fastest possible speed.
The others followed using normal transportation.
Strictly speaking, combat mages like Chloe or Bazett could definitely catch up with magical reinforcement.
But doing so would burn a huge chunk of mana—leaving them a grade weaker when they finally faced the enemy.
And when fighting that black monster, they needed to be in their very best condition.
Not because they couldn't win otherwise, but because the enemy was so overwhelmingly strong that their maximum strength was the bare minimum required to contend with him.
As for whether they could actually win… that would depend entirely on fate.
But unlike the cautious protagonists, the freed Gilgamesh didn't care about such trivialities.
Preserve strength?
This king is the greatest under heaven. What strength needs preserving?
Mage secrecy?
As if a king would be bound by laws made by mongrels.
Several Noble Phantasms fired downward from beneath the black ark, dropping straight toward the ground.
Illya and Miyu were too late—they could only watch helplessly as the falling treasures turned into "meteors."
For a heartbeat, even the air seemed to freeze.
BOOOOOOM!!!
A colossal explosion ripped across the night sky of Fuyuki City, the scattered energy roaring upward like a dragon.
In the blink of an eye, the shockwave engulfed a radius of hundreds of meters, kicking up a storm of dust as it spread outward.
The residual force blasted in every direction; Illya and Miyu had no choice but to halt in midair and deploy barriers to withstand the aftermath.
"M-My goodness…"
Illya's pupils shrank, terror filling her eyes. A gigantic hole yawned open in the mountainside.
"The surface… was vaporized…?"
Miyu's voice trembled. Her body and mind both instinctively recoiled from that vast abyss.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Gilgamesh spread his arms and unleashed a shrill, ecstatic laugh.
He pulled out a long spear—made from fusing a sword with another blade—from his Gate, and leapt off the ark.
The moment the spear pierced into the high platform inside the pit, an immense surge of mana erupted from underground.
A cross-shaped crack opened, revealing a gorgeously ornate magic circle beneath.
"HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Standing at its center, Gilgamesh threw his head back and continued the signature maniacal performance he'd perfected from watching every villain team in existence.
"This… no… it can't be…"
Miyu's face had gone beyond pale or ashen—she looked like someone staring at the origin of her nightmares.
"H-How could it appear here…?"
Her eyes widened, fixed on the magic circle as though it would swallow her whole.
Unlike Miyu, who had slipped into muttering riddles again, Illya truly had no idea what was happening. She couldn't begin to grasp why such an enormous magical construct lay beneath the crater.
A storm of mana erupted from the center of the cross-shaped sigil, enveloping the black Servant entirely.
Seeing this, Illya knew she could no longer hold back.
She didn't know what was about to happen, but she knew if she didn't act now, something catastrophic was about to unfold.
"I-Illya…?"
Seeing Illya suddenly dash straight into the storm, Miyu cried out in shock.
"Illya! Help me push him out of the magic circle!!"
Illya shouted as she slashed a crescent of mana into the pillar of wind.
Miyu quickly followed with a focused mana cannon blast.
BOOM!
Their combined attack briefly tore open a gap in the black vortex—but the black Servant standing inside didn't budge an inch.
"If that's how it is, then I'll just do it directly!"
No time to hesitate—Illya lowered her staff horizontally like a battering ram and shot forward.
Her intention was simple, pure, and very straightforward:
Shove him out of the magic circle!!
"Faster—!"
"I need to be faster—!"
Illya poured every drop of her mana into pushing the enemy away.
"Huh?!"
And then—
Illya suddenly felt something was… off.
The resistance she expected simply wasn't there.
[What's wrong? Don't tell me… it's already—too—laaaate?]
The pressure on her vanished in an instant.
Caught off guard, Illya shot straight through the black mud, carried forward purely by momentum—and something, or rather someone, came flying out with her.
A blond, red-eyed little boy.
"Nani?!" ⭐━━Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||)
"Ah-re?"
The little loli and the little shota locked eyes for a moment, both visibly embarrassed.
But before they could exchange any sort of greeting, momentum did its job, and they both tumbled across the ground in a rolling heap.
Thankfully—this world might have magical girls and nonsensical physics, but Lord Newton was at least not completely ignored tonight.
"What… just happened…?"
Coughing, Illya pushed herself up from the ground.
Because of the awkward pose she'd landed in, she suddenly realized her hand was pressing against something soft.
"I-Illya! Your hand—!"
Miyu's panicked shout jolted her mind awake.
Illya looked down and froze.
Her hand was firmly squeezing the little boy's chest.
This wasn't just awkward—this was super awkward.
Of course, Illya—locked inside the scene—had no idea that Director Matou Shinji had already spared her from something far worse.
In the original manga, what she grabbed wasn't baby Gil's chest… It was baby Gil's elephant.
That would've traumatized her so hard she'd be scrubbing her hands nonstop for two months trying to regain purity.
"Oww… that hurt," the blond boy groaned, holding his head.
"Can you maybe be gentler? Especially with your left hand…"
"MAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
It was like someone pressed a giant panic button inside Illya's soul.
Her scream was so sharp it could have shattered every window in Fuyuki.
<+>
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