Chapter 162
Ivan
I watch from the bed as Zander—pulls off his suit jacket. God help me, him in a suit will never stop doing it for me.
He moves with that easy confidence he doesn't even realize he has, rolling his shoulders as he reaches up to loosen his tie. The fabric slips free, and all I can do is watch like some lovesick creep.
Not a creep. A horny husband.
"I've thought about it," I say quietly, almost surprising myself with the sound of my own voice.
Zander pauses mid-movement, cufflinks half undone. His eyes flick toward me, soft but searching.
"About?" he asks.
My throat feels tight. Jeremy's words echo in my head—a leap of faith.
I'm fucking scared.
Scared isn't even the right word. It's too small for what's sitting heavy in my chest. Terrified fits better.
But sometimes, you just have to leap.
"The mating mark," I say.
The room seems to still around us. Zander freezes, tie in hand, before turning fully to me. His attention sharpens, but there's something tender in it too.
"Okay…" he says carefully.
"Let's do it," I blurt out before I can talk myself out of it.
His eyes widen, a slow disbelief melting into something warm and bright. In two long strides, he's beside me on the bed, close enough that I can feel the heat radiating off him.
"What?" he breathes.
"Let's do it," I repeat, this time steadier.
"Are you sure?" His voice has gone soft, almost fragile.
"No," I say honestly.
His mouth opens to speak—probably to tell me we don't have to—but I cut him off before he can.
"What I am sure of," I say, reaching out to press my palm flat against his chest, "is that I love you. And that you love me."
The beat of his heart thuds steady beneath my hand.
"What I'm sure of… is this." My voice shakes, but I keep going. "I'm terrified, Zander. But I trust you. I trust that when I jump… you'll catch me."
His hand comes up to cradle the back of my head. His forehead lowers to rest against mine, his breath warm against my skin.
"Always," he whispers.
And somehow, the fear doesn't vanish—but it stops feeling like something that will crush me.
It feels like something I can face with him.
***
Zander
I move away from his forehead just enough to press a kiss against it—a slow, reverent brush of my lips. Then I tilt his face upward and kiss him properly, gentle and steady, like I'm memorizing the shape of him.
God. I can't believe this.
Ivan leans into me, fingers sliding to the back of my neck, and pulls me closer until the kiss deepens. There's a small tremor in his touch—not from hesitation exactly, but from the weight of the decision he's just made.
I can feel it in the way he exhales against my mouth.
This is a huge decision.
And that makes it even more precious.
I pull back just enough to look at him. His pupils are wide, cheeks flushed pink, lips kiss-swollen and perfect.
I press another kiss to his forehead, softer this time, because if I don't do something tender, I might just shatter from how much I love this man.
"Okay," I say quietly, my voice a little rough.
"So… when do you want to—"
"Now," he cuts in.
I blink. "Now?"
"Yes." His voice is firm, even though his fingers are still trembling a little where they're gripping the back of my neck. His green eyes meet mine, wide and pleading and stubborn all at once.
"If we don't do it now, I'm afraid I'll chicken out."
My heart clenches, because I know exactly what it costs him to admit that.
I could never deny him anything that's within my power to give.
"Okay," I murmur. "Let me just take a shower—"
I don't get to finish the sentence, because Ivan surges forward and slams his mouth against mine, desperate and soft all at once.
His fingers fist in my shirt, dragging me closer, and for a heartbeat, I forget how to breathe.
I wrap my arms around him, one hand cupping the back of his head, the other at the small of his back, anchoring him against me.
He pulls back just enough to whisper, "Don't overthink it, Zander." His breath ghosts across my lips, shaky and sweet. "Just… be here with me."
I nod.
"Always."