To avoid affecting traffic, the rehearsal started at noon. Today's weather was very sunny, and the Gothic cathedral's somewhat old stone bricks were whitened by the sunlight, with the slightly coarse stone patterns flickering with star-like glimmers, the exquisite Gothic-style carvings eliciting repeated admiration.
Given that the previous rehearsals mostly involved security personnel and agents to confirm the wedding process and ensure order, attendees were still quite fresh to the cathedral, not to mention Little Superman who was here for the first time.
Due to the serious tone of the traditional wedding, the attire was also of a rather classical style. Little Superman wore an English tailcoat which didn't really match his lively demeanor, but with his good physique, any clothes looked good on him, and he actually looked the part.
The other superheroes were similar, all looking like coat hangers, and not to mention the Batmen. Everyone wore a full set of gentleman's attire, their custom-made suits were far superior to those tailored by the Rebirth Alliance for other superheroes, really putting on a whole estate, not only noble and elegant, but also exuding a mysterious air in the church's environment.
Greed was also dressed in a traditional style black suit, English naval double-breasted, with a very serious demeanor. But he was clearly not quite adapted, silently complaining about the traditional wedding in his mind.
He didn't attend the previous rehearsals, so he was unaware of the specific flow. When the rehearsal began, he didn't even have the strength to complain. Who studied this Catholic wedding anyway?
Problems arose right at the beginning of the rehearsal. As mentioned before, a traditional Catholic wedding isn't just about asking if you're willing to exchange rings. Everyone must first stand properly in the church and start praying.
This step had a major problem. At the gesture of the Father, hundreds of superheroes simultaneously opened their mouths—none could recite the prayer correctly.
Some started from the first chapter of the Old Testament, others recited parts from the middle of the New Testament, which were considered high-level scholars; some even recited a pre-meal prayer, or couldn't recite a single phrase, only mouthing the words without a sound. Hundreds of people chanting together wasn't even as loud as several dozen reciting a text, showing that most were just putting on airs.
But they were still self-righteous.
"Is there a problem with my prayer? This is Mark's Gospel... uh, does it have to be related to the wedding?"
"No matter which Gospel, you can't recite it correctly either, why is there talk of milk and cereal in the middle?"
"Isn't it supposed to be the Lord's Prayer? Starting from 'Hallowed be thy name'?"
"This part starts with 'Our Father who art in heaven', have you ever read the Bible?"
"Let's not discuss the start, can we at least say 'Amen' together at the end? Saying 'Amen' for a minute straight, God doesn't know when to come!"
"Everyone's prayer lengths are different, of course they don't match, shouldn't we unify the prayer?"
"I don't know, I don't believe in Catholicism, my region is popular with Protestantism... what? They are one church? You mean they believe in the same God?!"
"Why did I hear someone shout Dad? Are you an angel or... oh, you were calling Sanguine Demon, that's alright... wait a minute, asked you to pray to God, you called Sanguine Demon?"
"Quiet! Everyone quiet!" Father yelled with his voice strained.
This group couldn't pray out loud, but when chatting, they were quite loud, completely unaffected by the solemn church atmosphere, quickly turning it into a tea party.
"You said God is so powerful, so how come he got nailed on the Cross?" Little Superman pointed at the huge Cross above and asked.
"That's not God, that's Jesus." Greed explained with some helplessness, "Jesus is God's son."
Little Superman looked quite shocked: "What? It's not God nailed on the Cross? I thought, why would people believe in an ill-fated guy nailed on the Cross..."
"You better say less." Greed said in a lowered voice. They stood quite close to the podium, and the Father's face was blacker than a pan bottom.
Little Superman touched his face, then asked, "What does the person standing at the front do? What position does he hold?"
"That's the Father," Greed added, "he's church clergy. Have you never seen a Father?"
"There are people working in churches near my home too, but they don't dress like this," Little Superman said, "This black robe is so ugly, can't God let His deputies dress better?"
"Then the one near your home must be a Protestant church, and the Protestant clergy are called ministers, not as many rules as Catholic Fathers."
"It's too complicated," Little Superman said, "so what exactly is he making us recite?"
Greed didn't really know either, but he had been watching Little Superman closely. As soon as the Father raised his hand, Little Superman began reciting dish names, clearly the ones he liked: fried cheese prawns, salt-pepper salmon head with red peppers, custard hazelnut crisps, triple chocolate puff pastry cream horn...
Finally, the agents of the Rebirth Alliance came on stage to maintain order. Hill shouted twice to no effect, so Natasha resorted to pounding the podium hard. The Father looked at her actions, his face even darker—this isn't a school podium, knock on it twice more and the Bible will fall down.
But to be fair, Natasha's method was effective; after she knocked twice, everyone finally quieted down. Natasha turned to the Father and said, "Could you please recite the prayer words for us? We have few... religious enthusiasts here."
The Father sighed lightly. It was apparent he didn't really care whether superheroes were religious; he sighed probably because he realized each following segment wouldn't be easy.
The Father began reciting the prayers. The opening prayer was a section from the Bible specifically about marriage, mostly about the meaning and rules of marriage, with each sentence starting with "The Lord said."
After he finished, the others had to recite. Luckily, superheroes weren't foolish; even if they couldn't remember it in one go, following along with those who recited quickly several times, they could pretty much get it. Of course, there were obstinate ones, like Little Superman, who didn't listen at all and kept reciting dish names regardless of what the prayer words changed to.
Fortunately, as more people got it right, their voices grew, naturally drowning out his voice. However, Greed also noticed that the Father secretly swallowed several times, likely because they were standing too close to the podium, and the dish names Little Superman was reciting sounded delicious, and Fathers get hungry too.
Finally, they rehearsed the opening prayer segment enough, but the next part, singing hymns, was another disaster. The words were already hard to understand, and now they had to add a tune and sing it. Whoever worked out this process probably didn't consider that some people don't even know what a choir is.
A Catholic wedding seems like it's assumed everyone grew up in an extremely religious environment: being born to parents reciting the Bible, attending Sunday school and choir as kids, becoming Fathers as adults, and eventually working in the Vatican. Missing even one step, the wedding becomes unmanageable.
However, in this segment, Greed was surprised to find that Batman was actually pretty good at singing. His pitch was accurate, his voice, though deeper, was robust and well-suited for classical tunes rather than pop music, and he could harmonize with others.
This entire hymn segment relied on them; the rest were not professionals. Captain America's hymn singing was like a military marching song, full of vigor; Black Widow's singing always sounded like Soviet red tunes, as if Saint Peter just came back from Stalingrad. The others weren't even worth mentioning, with some forgetting the lyrics and others off-key.
As for Shiller, he only mouthed the words without sound, mainly because the pitch set by Batman was too low, and he couldn't reach it. That old bat's voice was like infrasound; indeed, humans can't hear bats communicating.
The Father also turned a blind eye, as long as he could roughly hear some sound, it was considered passable. If he tried to train them into a choir seriously, the wedding couldn't proceed.
Then came the procession of the best man and maid of honor. In a standard Catholic wedding, there are two best men and two maids of honor, necessarily one unmarried and one married. The unmarried represents the past, and the married represents the future.
Finding a happily married superhero among them was truly challenging. The Reed couple from the Central Universe was there for this task; they were the first couple to marry in American Comics, maybe because of their long history and substantial fan base, they didn't have so many trivial problems, and the lives of Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman were quite happy in almost every universe.
The unmarried ones were Bruce and Selina; they were one of the longest-lasting Batman and Catwoman couples in the Multiverse. Mainly, the other Batmen were in Dick's father's generation, unsuitable to be his best man, but Dick really wanted a Batman best man, so he found Bruce.
After the best man and maid of honor enter, they stand on the right side of the podium, followed by the bride and groom and their parents entering.
Many people have the misconception that, in Western weddings, the bride is walked down the aisle by her father, who then hands her to the groom. However, there is no official background for this segment, and it's unclear where it originated. The correct procedure should be the groom and bride each walking in with their parents.
On Dick's side were The Graysons, and on Starfire's side, since her parents were deceased, and she had a sister who was opposed to her and didn't attend the wedding, she was escorted by the Primary Universe Batman.
After the newlyweds enter, the parents and elders stand to the left of the podium, but the ceremony can't start yet because the Father needs to pray and say opening words, leading everyone to pray again and then proceed to preach.
Once the entire Mass process was complete, the Father began advising the newlyweds, essentially emphasizing communication and gaining family and God's consent. This subtly implies asking, "Are you willing?" but doesn't require an answer from the newlyweds. After the Father finishes speaking, he can announce that the two have officially completed the "Sacrament of Matrimony," or, in other words, become husband and wife.