"I hear that The Lord Nam has been withholding his visits to the brothel; I can only assume this is because you have been hiding the letters that he sends her?" "Of course My Lady; I am doing everything that I can to make sure that your husband comes directly home to you straight after his work instead of floundering around a brothel." "You must have come all the way from there on such short notice; you should rest a little instead of paying respects to me like this. You are even doing a better job at styling my hair than most of the servants here; they are all useless when it comes to serving me, they have clearly chosen their sides rather hap hazardously." "I can make all of achievements that she can if I share the same background as her, don't you think so? Mistress Han? And if I am ever lucky enough to marry, then I can get my husband to also surpass her family's achievements…I really hope so, why should only one lowly family from this kingdom rise above the rest of us?" "There are 2 kinds of people in this world; the ones who take pleasure in life and suffer later and vice versa. It looks like I am the one who chose the latter option and now I am reaping the rewards of it." "Some officials are given wealth in promotions because their daughters gain favour, and that s my wish as well. My family were pulled into debt because of mistake that I made and it s up to me to fix it all." "Just observe that girl and do as she does, it really is that simple." "My Lady, how are things at home? I need to see if my tactics are working or not?" "He is very angry at the moment; apparently the girl has been receiving gifts from an anonymous source and he is livid about it; he will not even take his business meetings to that brothel anymore." "So, do you think that he will finally move on now?" "Without her I can have a peaceful life, but keeping her close to us also ensures that I can have a better life than she ever dared to live."
"My Lady; I will put forth my best efforts to serve you from now on." "I am aware of your thoughts; but I am fearful that my man's race towards her will only be temporary as usual. Our efforts shall be put to use if it is, didn't you say that she was banned from today's production?" "She was humiliated in your brothel like never before. She is also as stubborn and as prideful as you have described to me and will not reconcile herself to this injustice upon herself easily." "How will she react when she finally realises that she has been my substitute all of this time?" "We shall extinguish her hope and everyone shall get what they wish for at her expense."
"I did hear something about some of the girls speaking up in her favour in the brothel; we really do need to get rid of them all." "I am afraid that is impossible My Lady, since they all stand up for her all of the time. It would be a lot simpler to have her removed from the place to somewhere less desirable. The Lord Nam also seems to tolerate these woman fairly well, to be honest with you." "If the brothel knows no peace, then neither do we I am afraid. I have done everything I can to restore peace to my life and his. I never intended on interfering in other's life like this, but that bitch has left me with no choice at all." "My Lady, everything would change if you could just give him an heir…" "The damage has been done to my body a long time ago; so I am of no use in that area…but you are, I am sure. Fertile women are like an endless procession of flowers and more will come even if I do remove them; so I will chose one instead for him, someone suitable to carry on his bloodline. A lack of heirs is always due to the lack of virtue in the wife, even if the infertility isn't her fault."
"My Lady, I have forgotten to tell you that I have taken away another one of his letters that was meant for her; in fact I saw it around his regular table and I knew that it was for her…" "Quickly show mw before anyone sees this, hurry! 'Dear…wife? You have left me behind in this sorrowful shell and the more sight of you…lifts my soul up in my dreams to see you? This is a yearning that I can never forget now that I have gotten a taste of it and only you understand this in me. Nobody compares to you in this and…enough of this! That man does not possess a romantic bone in his body, but he can write ti her with such deep affection? She is dressed up in middle class rags and I am wearing her old clothes and he still will not cast a glance in my direction at all! I wear her colours, her styles, I wear her makeup and I even smell like her for goodness sake, so why can't I catch a break? Why does nothing I do work at all? No, my course of good luck run out from the moment that I met that ominous woman!" "My Lady?"
"She is an inauspicious being to begin with; Seo Yeon goes against the principles of her sex at every given opportunity and doesn't hesitate to eliminate them for a man who does not want her, and she is clearly still keeping up that bad habit of her's! How can such an inauspicious possible dilute the blood of the Nam Clan? Just who n earth does she think she is! Their blood should rule throughout generations and I have to sit back and watch this happen…girl after girl flirting with him and he chooses such a lowly one? Is this some sort of joke or karma against me? I can barely tell anymore!"
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Myself and The Mistress Han made so many plans in advance against that girl, only for her to slip through my fingers and allow her into my future husband's home? Only for them to just abandon me to look after The Nam Clan by myself? Before my titling ceremony and first night with him? I clearly hadn't had the time to make an impression on him at all as he brought that woman back to his home far too quickly after everything that had just transpired between them. Seo Yeon was under orders to be confined to a new set of chambers as I was forced to house a kisaeng in my room in her place who was less than humble with me to begin with. The miseries of being an illegitimate child in a family that didn't want you, I thought that I could bond with The Lord Nam over that and finally begin to feel even a shred of acceptance from him, was that really too much to ask for? Even if happiness itself was too much to ask for, then why wasn't I good enough to feel content? Even for just a day? An hour? Or maybe even a moment, just like Seo Yeon did each and eery time that she emerged from her quarters where her man was waiting for her? She always entered her quarters with such eager anticipation, so much so that she would softly tremble with excitement. And when she left her quarters after an hour with him, she was always silent with such a look of serenity on her face that it was the only time that I felt jealous of her enough to feel my blood boiling under my skin. She was a pretty, eloquent, classy and smart girl and I already knew upon seeing her that I could never compete with her in that regard. But men should't be hard t come by; especially the noble folk who were usually too arrogant, too lazy and too dumbed down to actually make something of themselves. The Lord Nam was something of an anomaly; he was everything that society couldn't accept with his low background, his 1/4 noble lineage and his intelligent mind that he educated himself with, along with her. In his mind and judging by the way that he treated her; he had it in his mind that she was the only person in the world that could understand him and that was why he was endlessly infatuated with her. And I could understand that to some extent, but it was that moment of serenity between the two individuals that I wanted. That was the position that I was promised and I wanted it, even if I had to work harder for it. I wanted to be loved, I wanted to be cherished like that and wholeheartedly without a trace of force or disgust, just like how everyone saw me as a servant no matter where I went and who I met. And I wanted the chance to show such love to somebody else…I wanted to get pregnant, and I wanted to be the centre of attention for once in my life.
I took a walk around the empty yangban in an attempt to escape from The Nam Clan who kept showing up out of nowhere and taking over the entire manor. I was usually confined to my quarters as The Lord Nam ignored me on most days and I had nothing to do. Looking back on that time now, I could see that I had just wasted a lot of time and I needed to start improving myself at once. I needed to educate myself, I needed to learn and improve my habits and I needed to not let so many people walk all over me. Both myself and The Mistress Han were copying Seo Yeon's style of clothing and he still wouldn't take a look at me. Maybe I needed to take this opportunity to be more elegant and classy than she was and I had to take an interest in The Lord Nam's work at some point. I would help him and I will bring The Mistress Han back into this home where she belonged…and I will make Seo Yeon leave his life, just like how I had Amos succeeded the first time, when I had almost almost managed to turn the entire brothel against her, until…
