I felt my eyelids heavy with sleep and pure exhaustion as the sounds of horses kept disturbing me as I drifted in and out of consciousness. My body felt oddly sensitive though, more than it ever has been and I couldn't help but to softly let out a few whimpers and moaning sounds. It must have gotten back to my man, as I could feel him picking me up in his arms and placing me onto his lap gently as I continued to dream about our past days that continued to make absolutely no sense to me at all up until the day he burned the brothel to the ground just to bring me to his home.
"…My Lady, are you alright?" "Forgive me for dragging you in this with me, but what does he expect from me? His other woman sets him free, but he still thinks that he has rights over me? How dare he put me through this, right after he…" "He what? My Lady, what happened that day when your room doors were blocked and nobody could get in? We heard you scream and…" "Nothing happened that day; I fell over quite a lot because I was drunk, that is why I kept on screaming…" "But My Lady, I have been here for a while now and I have never seen you drink, not even once. Did he…hurt you?" "No! He could never hurt me! He could never intentionally…or willingly hurt me for that matter…I am just a pawn in his never ending games…" "Do you think the other woman is turning him against you?" "No, she has no power over him mentally, but she has been involved with him for longer than I have and I am sick of it! Why should I continue to tend to him as he expects when he clearly has somebody else that can tend to his needs?" "Are you high in favour or not then?" "Who knows and who cares anymore? I am stuck here and he is living with another woman, so what does favour matter now? He may even have to marry her to keep his freedom and I…will just continue to rot here forever."
"So what shall you do now, My Lady?" "What choice do I have, but to simply move on with my life? I did in fact live a double life right in front of his eyes all of these years ago and I can certainly do it again." "Very good My Lady, you cannot possibly indulge him anymore, especially when he acts this way towards you." "That is right, I must forget him before he pulls me into this endless abyss with him with no way out…" "My Lady, you can visit me in my quarters as much as you like of you ever need anybody to talk to. In fact; why don't I move in here with you and try to keep you some company? Surely he will not cross the line if he sees that you share your room with other women?" "I suppose so, if you do not mind, that is. I will help you to arrange the move if you wish to, and…" "Do not fret; I do not carry much with me anyways and you must be lonely here. I feel close to you already; and since he wishes to expel you from this room, then you can move to mine, even though it is out of the way from the entrance. We can start to rely on each other and build up our lives, far away from men as possible." "Peace…I just want a peaceful life away from him from now on. And maybe I do need some of my own friends from now onwards…" "Come; I shall make as much space for you as I can before the puppet show for the children begins!" "Ah yes, he is sponsoring that event, isn't he?" "My Lady! Forget that and focus on your new room; it is small and isolated, but we can keep it warm together." "It isn't a convenient place to live, but I like that." "Distance doesn't matter when you have somebody in your mind and heart; and I do not wish to stand out anymore. It is also equally as important to not be the target of evil plots and maybe I can blend in here more if I am with you…"
"…Ladies, we have all gathered here together in the name of our sponsor who wanted to put up this puppet show for the children of our brothel, who are always overlooked in this community. So please; let us enjoy ourselves here a little and make the most of the opportunities that we have to reel in support from our patrons! It is the comfort that they donate here that makes it easier for us to live here and…" "Haven't you become a rather eloquent speaker Madame? We sound clumsy and illiterate as the maid that moved in with that Seo girl now!" "Oh that reminds me; Seo Yeon isn't allowed to participate in this event, as a request from the sponsor. She is to reflect upon her mistakes in her new quarters and transcribe the buddhist scriptures of obedience 100 times."
"Excuse me? 100 times? But…" "I am only a messenger Seo Yeon, and so I have no say in the matter at all. Go on now and do no cause ant trouble here for the rest of us." Very well, I shall fulfil my duty straight away." "Allow him to vent out his anger towards you before he can cool down and let it go. You will then have a chance to regain your favour once again and your life will become easier with a little bit of distance between the two of you." I remembered the times where I was being tortured by him soon after he left the dungeons to live with the women who had his life in her hands and ii sent chills through my spine even now as I drifted in my slumber. We were fighting, we were arguing with each other so much and yet I still tended to him as my husband each and every singe time that I saw him waiting for me in my quarters that changed so often until I gave up trying to avoid him anymore. His power had been somewhat diminished, but not enough that he cousin't support this brothel anymore. So I tried to combat his strength with my silence and it just carried on from there as I can tell he had a lot to say to me that he simply couldn't in that moment. And that was when I realised that no matter what I had been through; he had never left me alone and thee was simply no point in fighting him anymore, especially when we were both in the midst of somebody's plot that we still could not figure out at the time. My actions still would have reflected badly on my brother so I still had to stay hidden away until there was a way to bring me back into the publics eye without any scrutiny at all. But when he wasn't happy with me; my stipends were taken away from me and I became only dispirited. He spoiled me when he was in a good mood and left me depressed without him on the days that he couldn't visit me, even if it was just to keep my eyes on him and feel the butterflies tingle in my belly when I did see him. But there was another factor in my life that was making my stomach turn for the worse; it was the 2 faces of this new servant who had openly moved me into her quarters without a hint of shame or hesitation at all. In face, she seemed a little to keen to be around me, and yet at the same time she wouldn't bat an eyelid if I was busy elsewhere. It was just all too strange; even now she wasn't asking about me at all when she could have. People's hearts in this kingdom often changed like the weather and it made more aware of how easy it was to share prosperity but it was all hard to share adversity with non-family members. In fact, her character unsettled me so much that I couldn't help but to ask Jeong Beom for help as he was still connected to the palace with a higher status than Seonho at this point; and what he had to share with me didn't pacify me at all.
"Sister, if I was you, I wouldn't accept anything that she gives you at all, even if it is sustenance or cosmetic items." "Why do you say that? Is something wrong? What have you found out?" "It looks like this girl has been secretly putting a large quantity of musk in her products that you are sleeping around every single night…" "Excuse me? Musk? What kind of musk? And how much?" "You need to ask MoonBok about that, so do not apply anything onto yourself, lest your skin absorb it. No I haven't, and I haven't even began to use the things that she keeps on gifting me with either. She does light up an incense stick every now and then…but she is a servant, so how could she even posses such luxurious items?"
"My point exactly sister; MoonBok also said that she probably is using a floral or a sweet scent to cover it up since musk has quite a strong smell." 'It is her, it has to be her…have you found out anything about HuiJae yet?" "It seems as though she is teaming up with that corrupt senior scholar that Seonho has been worried about. It is his connections that is keeping him alive right now, and if he disobeys her before he brings himself back up to where he was…" "Then Seonho can be killed on a whim without there being any traces to find his body. The senior scholar must be taking revenge for his dead son…my god, how could I have forgotten all about this? I couldn't predict this at all like I have done with everything else so far…my goodness, I think I am going to throw up…" "Calm yourself sister, I will inform him about this situation and I will have you moved out of here immediately." "What a scheming mind this woman has…this has to be the very last time that we all deal with her once and for all." "And you are the only one that can make that happen sister, and you know it. Do not let her control over Seonho ruin you both, because that is exactly what she wants and what you both have is worth fighting for." "She is such an open enemy now, how exactly can I deal with this?" "As far as I am aware, he is openly coming to visit you in the brothel in front of her very eyes, despite the various punishments that await him at home. To free you both from this woman, it is better for you to use his favour to get you out of here for good." "You want me placed in the same home as him? In her home?" "What else can provoke you both into eliminating each other? Who was won so far? And who has kept on loosing? Let this be done with so we can all resume with our lives and get you married off at long last. You are almost 25 years old, which is an old age for women to marry in this goreyo dynasty of ours and you know it. Your brother s very worried about you and he cannot rest until he fulfils this last duty towards you." "I do not know if I have the strength to do this, you know how insecure I am when it comes to her…" "So are you content on feeling this way forever? Will you just give him up because of an excuse like that? He as servants here watching your every move and he still goes out of his way to see you after everything that has happened; there is no moving on even if you wish to." "Oh brother; human hearts here are endless with greed and I cannot eliminate that on my own. This servant girl may be eliminated by others, but she has agreed to be pulled into this game between us, so she must suffer as well, despite me never actively seeking out competition between other women. It is stupidly petty, but now…this will be my very last fight, for I have nothing left in me anymore after this."