Chapter 271
Sirius beamed at him. Xeno also beamed at him. "Why don't you describe a typical day in your life, Harry?"
"Wow, a typical day…" Harry considered his answer carefully. He obviously
couldn't say a typical day included searching for objects that kept Voldemort
alive and hoping he didn't have to confront him any time soon. "Well, we all
have breakfast together – Sirius, Remus, Dobby and me that is – " Xeno frowned. "I know Remus Lupin is your steward but Dobby?"
"Our house elf." Harry said.
"You have breakfast with your house elf?" asked Rita wide-eyed. Harry nodded briskly. "He's part of our family – why wouldn't he eat withus?Anyway, we eat breakfast and then we exercise before we get ready. UsuallyI
have lessons during the day such as estate management and etiquette –or
an outing somewhere with friends. We generally have dinner with friends but
on the nights we stay home, we'll play games or do something else that's fun." There was a pause while they all scribbled notes. Kurt looked up at Harry seriously. "Your Ministry failed your godfather quitebadly which has damaged its reputation abroad. What are your thoughts?"
"I think your statement isn't quite right," Harry replied honestly, "the current
administration did a great deal to correct the miscarriage of justice Siriussuffered. It was due to the investigation of Amelia Bones which was orderedby Minister Fudge that Sirius was cleared. I understand that the war-time
administration under Minister Bagnold was under pressure and believingthecircumstantial evidence thought they had done the right thing. But I think thesituation shows that we can't be complacent about justice. Everyone shouldreceive a fair trial and punishment regardless of whether it's supposedly
obvious or not that the person is guilty." Kurt smiled. "What about Albus Dumbledore? He was Chief Warlock chargedwith ensuring due process. He continues to hold that position and currentlyholds a significant position internationally."
"Is that your third question, Kurt?" interjected Sirius before Harry could say
anything. "Because that seems like a follow-up rather than a clarifying?"
"Guilty!" Kurt said. "But internationally you must understand the interest?"
"Albus has apologised for his part in what occurred," Sirius replied evenly, "I
have accepted it since we're all human and make mistakes – even Albus
Dumbledore. Move on."
"My turn then!" Rita said, although her eyes were shining with glee at the
previous exchange between Sirius and Kurt. She took a moment to changeher
expression to one of grave concern. "I'm afraid I can't sit here without askingyou about the recent death threats." Harry looked at her expectantly as she fell silent. Was there a question inthere that he had missed? He glanced at Sirius.
"Rita," Sirius said lightly, "if you want to ask about Harry about the recent deaththreats you may want to frame a question so Harry can answer it or decidehedoesn't want to?" Rita shot him a look but nodded curtly. "My readers will want to knowwhat
you think about the recent death threats and being a target, howyou feel
about them, what is being done to protect you, Harry?" Harry and Sirius exchanged another wry look at how Rita had packed threedifferent questions into her reframing.
"To be honest, I think the death threats are more upsetting for my friends andfamily than for me. I'm kind of used to the fact that I'm a target for unwantedattention …" Harry shifted in his seat, trying to reorganise his thoughts into somethingunderstandable without saying that with Voldemort attacking himevery year
he'd gotten used to having his life under threat.
"Whoever it is I think they're a coward." He said abruptly and didn't have tolook at Sirius to know he'd winced at Harry's bluntness. "They're essentially
threatening a fourteen year old – how brave is that? In all honesty, it just
makes me angry that they're causing distress to other people. I understandMrs Vane suffered a huge shock with the last one and they disrupted a partythat Madame Longbottom had worked really hard to put together."
"So you're not worried for yourself?" Rita pressed.
"A little worried," Harry admitted, "I mean, it's not nice to think someone wantsyou dead but…Voldemort tried to kill me when I was one year old so it's not
like it's the first time someone has come after me, and I get that some of hissupporters may want revenge or want me out of the way. I just…I'mfrustrated, I guess. I'd like to have a normal life as much as possible and death threatsaren't normal."
"And what is being done to protect you?" Rita asked again.
"I'm sure your readers will understand that we can't say explicitly what
additional protections we're putting in place," Sirius intervened before Harrycould speak, "what I will say is this: that we're not going to let it dictate what
we do but we will take sensible measures to ensure Harry's safety."
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"Thank you, Lord Black." Rita said sweetly and sat back, pleased that she'dessentially gotten what she wanted – a statement on record about the deaththreats.
"Me again," Xeno said cheerfully, "so, Harry, if you could say one thing toor
ask one thing of the wizarding world, what would it be?" Harry pressed his lips together as his mind raced. There were so many thingshe wanted to say but he knew most weren't politically astute and wouldcauseproblems for Sirius so…
"There are lots of things that I would like to say and ask," Harry began, meeting Xeno's gaze, "but if I could only say one thing of the wizarding worldright now, I think it would be that my parents are the ones that should be
honoured as heroes. Whatever happened, they were the ones that savedmeand the wizarding world from Voldemort. So, if I can only ask one thing, it
would be that those who see me as…as a hero, as the Boy Who Lived, insteadhonour my parents. They're the real heroes." Sirius took hold of his shoulder, a comforting squeeze that let Harry knowhewas proud of him.
"How do you know though?" asked Xeno softly.
"I…" Harry took a deep breath, "last year when the Dementors were aroundHogwarts, they made me remember." Rita had a quick intake of breath.
"I hear my Dad tell my Mum to take me and run; he gave his life fighting tosave us, to try and stop Voldemort from getting to us…" Harry continued, aware that emotion was choking his voice and Sirius's hand tightened onhisshoulder, "and I hear my Mum begging Voldemort to leave me alone. Shestood in front of me willing to give her own life to save mine. They're my
heroes."
There was a poignant silence for a long moment. Kurt cleared his throat. "Well, I'm afraid I have my final question to ask andit isone of grave international importance," he paused dramatically as they all
turned to look at him; his dark eyes met Harry's and Harry saw the hint of atwinkle in them, "who do you believe will win the Quidditch World Cup?"
It broke the tension very successfully; all of them bursting into laughter. Harry surreptitiously dabbed the corner of his eye where a tear had leakedout
and regarded the international reporter with a grateful smile. "My friend RonWeasley is the Quidditch expert and he believes Ireland will win but Viktor
Krum will catch the Snitch and end the game on his own terms." His smilewidened. "I've learnt not to argue with Ron in matters of Quidditch or chessso…that's my answer." Sirius clapped his hands. "And that's the end of the interview, folks!" He
ushered the reporters and the photographers out with thanks and remindersthat all pieces had to be approved by him before publishing, leaving Harry
alone in the study. Remus poked his head in and grinned. "All OK?" Harry shrugged. "Who knows?" He would wait and see the finished articles. Hegot up and stretched. "I don't think I said anything too stupid."
"Excellent! That's the spirit." Remus said brightly. "Come on. Kreacher hasdinner ready and then it's an early night." Dinner was a friendly and warm affair. It was one of the few nights that it wasonly Simeon, Anna, Sirius, Remus and Harry – Jason had been bathed andput
to bed after his meal while Harry did his interview. It was nice to have thechance to speak with Simeon one on one and get to know himbetter. Harry could see that Simeon was a lot like Sirius and he wondered briefly
whether Sirius might have become more laid back if Sirius had avoided
Azkaban. Every so often the effects of the prison showed in Sirius's eyes –less so than the months they had spent in the time bubble but occasionally
when something would remind Sirius. It made Harry's heart ache and anger
clench in his gut every time he spotted Sirius remembering. He wished hecould take away Sirius's hurt but he knew he couldn't any more than Siriuscould take away the hurt Harry carried from the Dursleys' treatment of him. But they were both healing and recovering, Harry thought positively as hewished Simeon and Anna goodnight before he followed Sirius to the floo.
It was weird to think that there was just over a week before he would returntoHogwarts. It seemed like forever since he had left for the Summer –over four
months including his healing time – and for the first time he didn't want togoback. He liked the routine of living with Sirius and Remus. He loved Sundayswhen he and Sirius would spend the day together; the quiet talks with Remus;
breakfasts with Dobby; the movie nights when they all gathered around thetelly with buttered popcorn and hot chocolate; the lessons where he was
allowed and encouraged to show how smart he was…
He loved the quiet affection Remus showed him, ruffling his hair and pattinghis shoulder. He loved the paternal caring of Padfoot; the way he checkedonHarry before he went to bed, how he was always there if Harry had a baddream, the hugs that made him feel safe and wanted and…and loved. He didn't want to leave. He absently said goodnight to Sirius and made his way up to his bedroom, heading into the bathroom to strip and shower. Standing under the water, histhoughts returned to his previous musing. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 273
Harry knew if he said something to Sirius, it was likely that Sirius would quitehappily keep him at home. Sirius had only agreed to send Harry back toHogwarts because Harry said he wanted to go back. Of course that hadbeenat the start of the Summer when Harry had never considered the possibilityof
not wanting to go back to Hogwarts. And in some ways he did want to go back. He loved Hogwarts for the most
part even if the last three years had disillusioned him as to the safety of theschool. It had still been a retreat and escape from the Dursleys. It was still thefirst place he had considered home. His friends were going back. That probably more than anything was the reason why he hadn't said anythingto Sirius. He would miss his friends if he stayed since he wouldn't have their
presence in his lessons, although he half-suspected that if he pulled out of
Hogwarts to be home-schooled, Augusta would pull Neville at the same timebut that wouldn't be fair to Neville who was looking forward to going back toHogwarts. Neville's confidence had grown leaps and bounds over the Summer andHarrybelieved he deserved to have a chance to show off his new skill and newattitude at Hogwarts where he had been made to feel like a squib and anoutcast. He'd also noted that since the Talk They Never Mentioned, Nevillehad actually spent a bit more time paying attention to Susan and Hannah–Hannah who seemed to really like Neville. Harry had to admit that between the Talk, he kind of thought that he might
want to go out with someone. Maybe. Possibly. But he was rather hamperedby all the things he and Hermione had discussed at the beginning of the
Summer. He wanted to go out with someone who liked himnot the Boy WhoLived or whatever fantasy Harry Potter they'd made up in their heads. Ginny still fell under that category as far as Harry was concerned althoughshehad started talking to him fairly normally during the dinners at the Weasleyssince they'd commiserated over Skele-gro and discussed the possibility of her
trying out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Lydia Inglebee also had FantasyHarry Syndrome. The rest of the girls in the Potter alliance were all too muchlike acquaintances with perhaps the exception of Susan Bones. Susan was great. She was kind and compassionate. She hated Potions asmuch as Harry did and she had a keen mind and sharp tongue that remindedHarry of her Aunt. They had gotten along fine in the lessons, outings andevents they'd attended together. But the truth was that although he likedher
as a person and thought she might like him as Harry, he wasn't attractedtoSusan. She was nice enough just…he couldn't see himself wanting to kissher
anytime soon. And since she generally talked about Cedric Diggory in dreamy
tones, Harry rather thought she didn't want to kiss Harry anytime soon either. Which brought him to the one other girl he knew well: Hermione. He blushed and ducked his head, snapping the water off and getting out of theshower. He concentrated on drying off but his mind wandered back to hisfemale best friend with alacrity.
It wasn't that he hadn't considered Hermione as a potential girlfriend whenthetopic had arisen at the start of the Summer but she was his friend and it wasimportant to Harry that she stay his friend. He'd never had friends before Ronand Hermione, and he'd almost lost Hermione over the Firebolt thing andthat
had convinced him that he didn't want to lose her friendship ever. It was oneof the reasons why he'd worked so hard to strengthen their friendship that
Summer; to take more of an interest in stuff Hermione was interested in, topay equal attention to her as he did to Ron. And it had worked thanks in part
to Hermione's inclusion in his lessons and her sponsorship under the Houseof Black. But all the extra time with her and driven home to him that she was a girl. Agirl he might even like like; one that he could imagine kissing. And the bonuswas that she knew him, the real him. Harry threw his towel in the laundry fitfully and hurried into his bedroomtopull
on his pyjamas and get into bed. He switched the lamp off and snuggledunder the duvet.
The problem was while he realised he might like Hermione enough for himtoconsider her as a potential girlfriend, he really had no idea how she felt about
him. He didn't think she thought about Harry as a potential boyfriend. Andwhywould she, Harry thought morosely. Maybe knowing the real himmeant
knowing he wasn't anything special. Intellectually, he definitely wasn't
Hermione's equal although he thought she approved of his newstudyinghabits. Physically, he was small – one of the smallest boys in his year –andalthough his exercise regime meant that he was muscled, he had a runner'sbuild rather than a boxer's. His appearance had improved with newclothesand glasses, but he still wore glasses and had the disfiguring scar. His hair
was always a mess… He sighed and turned over, pressing his face into the pillow. Even if Hermione did like him or would consider going out with him, couldheafford to have a girlfriend? Merlin, he was getting death threats. And therewas the Treasure Hunt…and overshadowing everything was the prophecy andan eventual showdown with Voldemort. If he and Hermione dated, he wouldbe putting her at risk and… His whole body tensed at the thought of her being in danger because of him. Well, any more danger since it was dangerous enough being Harry Potter'sfriend. He turned over again, restless and sat up abruptly, reaching for the light.
For a long moment, he stared at the wall opposite before he shook himself
and decided to practise his animagus meditation. He had read everythingabout how to achieve the meditative state required to see his potential formsbut he hadn't tried it before and his Aunt Minerva had said that it could takeweeks or months before it happened. He rearranged his position, shiftingintoa cross-legged but comfortable pose, using the breathing techniques he'dlearned in his Occlumency training to relax and sink into a meditative state…Slowly his awareness of the room around him disappeared and he foundhimself floating in a white cloud of endless space; his body weightless ashismind drifted…
There was something flying up ahead. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 274
A dark speck on the horizon and Harry willed himself to follow it, flying freely, the wind blowing through his hair and across his skin. The speck turnedintoabird – a raven, Harry realised. They played for a while dipping and divingbefore the raven flew downwards towards a clearing. It landed on a rock andHarry suddenly found himself on the ground.
"Hello, Raven." Harry said nervously. Was he supposed to talk to his animagusform? Was this his only one? Was it actually one of his forms or just
something stuck in his head because of Luna?
The raven cocked its head to one side and peered at him. A movement beside the rock surprised him and a green mottled snake
uncurled, rising, its hood flaring.
"Hi." Harry said to the snake, not wanting to appear rude since he'd already
said hello to the raven.
"Hello, Speaker." The snake hissed. "The Seer guided you to Raven and soyoufound your way. The others will appear soon." Others?
A lion stalked out of the high grass behind the rock and lay down at Harry'sfeet; a black puppy similar to Sirius's form padded in fromthe forest sidebyside with a black wolf cub. And finally, a black stallion walked out of the trees, a white lightning bolt upon its forehead.
"We all represent who you are, Harry James Potter." The snake informedhim. Harry nodded. He was surprised by the number of pack animals, he realised. Lions usually had prides; the stallion would have a herd; the wolf and dog, apack. The lion and the stallion probably also indicated his leadership potential. He wasn't sure whether the wolf or dog would be an Alpha – and was thedoga Grim like Sirius? Did Grims have packs and Alphas?
He took a deep breath and moved towards the puppy.
It immediately perked up and ambled up to him, rubbing its head against
Harry's hand as he tickled it. It seemed openly affectionate, eager, playful andlovable. Harry laughed at the puppy's antics as it left him to chase after abutterfly. He remembered how his Aunt Minerva had talked about himturninginto a puppy when he was a baby. That's who the puppy represented, Harry
realised; his baby self. Well, he wasn't a puppy anymore and he moved on despite the aching
disappointment of knowing that he wouldn't change into something closetoSirius's form. The wolf cub slunk closer, suspicious as it sniffed Harry's hand and graduallyit relaxed as Harry petted it. He once again recalled his discussions on theforms that might be available to him and how his Aunt Minerva had indicateda wolf was a possibility because of Harry's relationship with Remus; he waspart of Remus's pack. But it wasn't just that, Harry thought, as he registeredthe thin wiry body of the wolf beneath its short black fur; the wolf representedthe part of him that wanted family and pack, to belong. It represented thewounded animal he had been at the Dursleys, half-starved for food and
affection. Harry hugged the wolf closer but knew he would never change intoit. He was part of a pack now; part of a family; he wasn't the lone wolf any
longer. The stallion was the next to approach. Harry rubbed its nose and gazedintoits dark eyes. The stallion would protect and defend his herd, yet it retainedawild spirit that embraced freedom and whose spirit wouldn't be broken. Thestallion was the representation of the leader Harry hoped to be, Harry realised. Some echo of the stag his father had been yet different enough to make hisown mark. But he wasn't there yet; the stallion represented his potential, theman he wanted to become.
The horse delicately snorted and bumped its nose against Harry before it
backed away, returning to the trees. The lion padded over next. It obviously represented his courage and bravery, both the leader of the pride or the nomad outcast, nobility – the latent
Gryffindor inside of him. But he wasn't just a Gryffindor. His eyes flickered to the snake which no doubt represented his inner Slytherin;
the desire to prove himself, the ambition that burned within himto excel andwin; the cunning that had enabled him to survive the Dursleys…
But he was neither one nor the other. He was both. He had once chosentobea Gryffindor but stood in front of both animals he couldn't deny either of them. The snake hissed lowly and sank back into its coils, its hood lowered. The raven cawed and drew his attention. Harry held out his hand and the
raven flew to him.
"I hoped for a flying form." He told the bird as it looked at himwith surprisinglyintelligent eyes. What had Luna said to him the raven represented?
A trickster…like the snake. A warrior…like the lion. A defender; a bird that flew free, spirit unbroken…like the horse. A bird that played with…wolves and dogs. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 275
"You represent all of me." Harry realised out loud. "You're my true self. That'swhat Luna Saw…she Saw you…me…" The raven spread its wings and everything went black…
"Harry!" Sirius's panicked voice yanked Harry back to consciousness. He
blinked hard and was surprised to see Sirius looming over him– he lookedhuge. And why was Hedwig, who was perched on Sirius's shoulder, so big?
What was going on?
Harry opened his mouth to ask and squawked.
He squawked! Harry moved and immediately lost his balance; he flailedhisarms and caught sight of black wings. Oh Merlin!
He'd turned into his animagus form! Hedwig landed beside himand proppedhim up.
"Don't panic!" Sirius said hurriedly as Remus entered, his mouth droppingopenin shock. "I can fix you!" He drew his wand and shouted a spell. Harry fought with his animal instinct not to follow Hedwig into flight andfleefrom the light zooming towards him. He felt the spell hit and cried out as hisbody began to transform back painfully. He lay on his bed, panting in the aftermath.
"I'll get some pain relief potion." Remus said, leaving again swiftly. Sirius ran a hand over Harry's hair. "Sorry, Harry. I know that spell hurts but it
was the only way to change you back quickly."
Harry nodded. "I didn't mean to change! I was just meditating and then…"
"And then you found your form." Sirius smiled at him. "You always were anatural. We should have suspected the meditation might lead to this." Harry nodded. "I saw the puppy."
"You did?" Sirius brightened. "You should have seen your Dad's face! He wasmore annoyed that you weren't a stag than the fact that you'd managedtotransfigure yourself."
"I had the option of a horse – a wild stallion." Harry said quietly. "And a wolf."
"No cat?" asked Sirius teasingly although his grey eyes were wide with shock. "Minnie will be disappointed."
"A lion." Harry said. "There was also a snake."
"So many…" murmured Sirius, his brow lowering in concern. Harry explained what he thought each animal represented – Remus turneduphalf-way through and Harry downed the pain relief potion gratefully beforeheconcluded with why he'd gone with the raven form.
"It suits you, Harry." Remus agreed. "I think you probably owe Miss Lovegooda thank you for showing you the way. My only concern really is howyou'regoing to learn to fly as you master your form." As though she'd heard them, Hedwig barked from her perch across the room.
"Well, there's an offer I don't think you can refuse." Sirius said brightly. Harry laughed. "Thanks, Hedwig." Hedwig barked again and stuck her head under her wing.
"And that I think is her hinting we should all get some sleep. Busy day
tomorrow with the Quidditch match." Sirius leaned over and kissed Harry'sforehead. "No more animagus meditating unless we're in the roomwith you. Goodnight, Harry." Remus ruffled his hair. "Goodnight, Harry. " Harry nodded. He watched as they both left, turning the lights out as they
went. He'd found his animagus form! He fell asleep with a wide smile onhisface and dreamed of flying, free and happy.
.....
Sirius cast a glance towards Minerva across the reception roomin Black
Manor and sighed.