That wasn't a pleasant thought. Kane ended up playing with Vera's hair in an attempt to make it go away. She had run her hands through his earlier and he liked that.
The way she touched him didn't hurt. This was probably how most people did things, wasn't it? Why Candy wanted him to keep what she did a secret. She must have known that too. That was she was doing was different.
Vera's way was much better since it actually felt good. No blood. No pain. Just heart-racing pleasure.
Casey was a lucky sucker. He got to have this sort of thing all the time.
It wasn't fair. Kane had to deal with Candy most of the time while Casey got Vera most of the time. Nothing about their situation had ever been fair though. Kane only existed to take Casey's hits. That had never bothered him nearly as much as it did now.
It took Kane a long time to fall asleep with how much was on his mind but when he did drift off, it was peacefully with her in his arms. He never would have seen something like this coming!
===
After they made love the first time and Vera told Casey she loved him and he began shaking, she realized his trauma went much deeper than she would have previously guessed. Then he apologized for it, clearly feeling guilty on top of everything else he was already dealing with.
She was tempted to cry but held it in. That wouldn't make the situation any better. In fact, it would only make it worse.
Who hurt him? What had they done that made him so afraid of love?
There were so many things Casey didn't tell Vera that were driving her insane. But she had to endure it because she loved him and pushing him before he was ready wouldn't help.
He might never be vulnerable with her. She didn't know what she would do if that happened because she wanted to be with him forever and that couldn't happen if he didn't let her in.
Was she crazy for thinking so long term when they had only been dating for a couple of weeks? Possibly. But her feelings had been building up for the past two years and he had been there for her during something heartbreaking.
He had very quickly become her safe place, which was ironic considering how anxious he was. His nerves didn't make her more nervous though. They showed he cared. How could she be nervous when she knew he cared about her in his own way?
Vera felt loved. Even if Casey couldn't say the words, she knew he loved her.
That was okay for now. She could wait. Even if she spent her whole life waiting, she would be fine as long as he remained by her side. Even if she went insane in the process.
'You're fine,' she told herself. 'Deal with it.'
Casey had been so patient with her when she was falling apart about Tilly's diagnosis and needing to move into the nursing home. Vera could be patient with him in return. As patient as he needed her to be. No matter what!
This included when he suddenly said he wanted to sell the house he inherited from his father but even being there made him look like he wanted to throw up. She had a horrible feeling that his trauma was related to his family somehow. Was that why he had such a complicated relationship with Kane? Why still live with him if it was this bad?
She wasn't able to ask any of those questions, afraid Casey would crack into pieces if she did. So she didn't. Simply took over the portion of the renovation she was capable of. He still had to deal with the rest of the contractors since the house was in his name.
She made the phone calls for him though. She knew he hated those.
At least the renovations were well underway by mid-October. He was over there supervising the barn demolition when she called and asked if he wanted pizza.
Vera knew Casey didn't want to keep the barn, which had a rusted shut lock, even though it would make the house worth less. It was his house. He could do what he wanted with it, even if the part of her that cared about historical preservation was a bit sad.
She had a long day at work and had gone to visit Tilly to find her not lucid for the third day in a row. Vera was sad in general right now. The barn was the least of her worries.
He comforted her as soon as he arrived and she was so full of appreciation for him that she had to make love to him. She needed a distraction anyway. It made the pizza go cold but that wasn't a big deal. She had needed to feel loved after not being recognized again. At least SOMEONE she loved knew who she was and was right here with her.
She felt so secure in his arms as they watched a movie after eating. But the best part of the day was when he initiated making love again and actually stayed the night for once. That had never happened before!
Had Casey noticed how fragile Vera was today and done that for her? Her heart warmed at the thought.
When her alarm went off, she groped for it to snooze it. She had to take advantage of snuggling closer to her boyfriend while he was here.
He shot up when he heard it before settling back down with a groan, flinging his arm over his eyes as the other was around her. Had her alarm freaked him out that much? Did he use a different one? She knew they had the same sort of phone but alarm tones varied based on personal preference.
"You okay, Casey?"
"Yeah. Just kind of out of it. I need to go home and change before meeting you at the shop," Casey said before moving his arm to hold her completely.
They stayed like that until her second alarm went off. A bit of morning light was coming in through the blinds and Vera gasped in horror when she realized the full extent of his scarring. He hadn't been exaggerating about them at all.
They were overlapping in various sizes and thicknesses all over his chest and arms. And those were only the ones she could see while he was lying down. What if there were more?
So this was why he always wore long sleeves and wanted to be intimate in the dark. He didn't want her to see.