(I'm back after taking some break. Don't blame me, blame the economy. I have to write a new story as the US currency is quite weak these days. Hopefully it'll get better soon. On another note, I'll be uploading a new story tonight. It's called 'That 70s Hustle. Check it out. Maybe it'll need a day or so for WN to examine it first. Last time, my novel need around 48 hours before it got out.)
[Edward POV]
It was always fun when the new year came. People made resolutions that they knew they would give up on in just a few days.
The gym was filled with people. The overwhelming desire to start something new.
Inside my house, my past life memories suddenly flooded back as I sat on the couch.
Before I could react to the memory, there was something else that attracted my attention.
Annie was puckering up and closing her eyes as she waited for me to kiss her. She wore a choker and a blue one-piece dress.
'Huh? How did this happen?' I was surprised.
Annie kept inching closer to get to my face.
I quickly investigated my memory.
First, after getting back from camping yesterday, I took a shower and decided on the performer list for the concert.
After that, I went to Cuba for a bit to check up on my mother. I spent several hours there and returned home.
Annie came at almost midnight, drunk out of her mind, and told me that since she wasn't a part of the girls who stayed at my place, nor was she my ex, she could still do what we used to do before.
I didn't think much about her argument since she showed me her lingerie after taking off her long jacket.
Although, since she was drunk, I didn't do anything to her and just let her sleep in my house.
This morning, she was embarrassed about what happened last night and wanted to leave, but I asked her to stay behind.
I even told her that if she wasn't drunk, we would've done it, which made her more confident about staying.
My grandmother left early this morning to meet some friends, so we had the whole place to ourselves.
That's when we decided to mess around.
When I remembered what happened, I shrugged and just reciprocated Annie's kiss.
"Wait. Are you wearing bubblegum lipstick?" I smiled in amusement when I tasted her lips.
Annie opened her eyes, slightly taken aback, and blushed. "Y-yeah. Do you not– like it?"
"I didn't say that," I replied as I teased her slightly, grabbed her chin, and forced her to look at me.
"You know, you are pretty cute," I flirted. "Want to properly be my girlfriend?"
Annie widened her eyes in shock, and she jumped off the couch, taking a few steps away from me.
I was in shock. Annie stammered and said, "No– NO! I don't want to be your girlfriend! I thought we're just going to have sex! This– cannot happen!"
She pointed at the both of us.
"GOODBYE!" she said loudly and then stomped away after grabbing her jacket again.
I froze for a bit. Vader jumped onto the sofa and stretched her back. Then, she curled into a ball and lay down next to me.
Finally, I snapped out of it.
"Wait. What the fuck just happened?"
…
That evening, I went to the Dunphys. Haley wasn't around since she had some work to do for her fashion company.
Claire sipped some coffee and commented, "At the very least, the second heartbreak made her more focused on her job. She has so many new ideas."
I lowered my head slightly. "Again, I'm really sorry about that."
"What? Messing with my daughter's heart… twice?" Claire smirked; her eyes were playful instead of angry.
"To be fair, she broke up with me the first time around," I said defensively.
Claire's smile faltered a bit, and she leaned on the kitchen counter. "Really?"
I shrugged, which made her exhale in bewilderment.
Alex came into the kitchen wearing geometric-pattern pyjamas. I looked at her with disbelief and said, "It's 3 in the afternoon."
"Shut up. I have an online class in the morning," Alex grimaced and poured some coffee for herself.
Claire sighed and said, "She's been in bed the entire time after you got back from the camping trip."
"Oh yeah. Finneas asking her out again and she rejecting him is making her depressed, I think," I commented as if she wasn't there.
Alex grimaced and said, "I'm not depressed."
"Honey, you haven't taken a shower since the camping trip," Claire said carefully.
"That explains the gamy smell," I added.
Alex gasped in disbelief and rushed to her bed. I said loudly from behind, "If you're taking a shower, remember to wash your hair too! It has so much oil in it, the United States is making plans to invade it!"
Claire looked at me with disbelief after I teased Alex.
Phil walked to the kitchen and pulled his head away sulkily as he walked past me. He opened the fridge, took nothing, and then left again.
"What's with him?" I asked.
Claire sighed and said, "I'm fine with it. I guess Phil isn't fine with you breaking up with his daughter."
I quickly stood up from the stool and chased after Phil.
"Hey! P-Daddy! I'm so sorry!"
Claire laughed as she saw my exasperated face. I couldn't catch up with Phil as he had gotten into his car and driven away.
I returned to the kitchen and asked Claire, "How long do you think he's going to be mad at me for?"
"I don't know." Claire shrugged. She smiled in amusement and said, "Frankly, you deserve it."
[Claire's commentary]
"It has been three days since Phil got mad. He kept quiet, he grumbled, and he was avoiding having a conversation with me."
Claire sighed and said, "I think it's really hot that he's sticking up for his daughter, but Edward is kinda like my son too. And he's also my boss. So I don't know which side to pick in this fight."
[Phil's commentary]
"Got mad because Edward broke up with Haley?" Phil was confused. "No, I'm mad because he went on a camping trip with his friend and forgot to invite me."
A cutscene showed Phil talking to Edward about taking a camping trip in an RV—the same RV Edward used in his trip with his friend.
"It's supposed to be our trip. Me, Luke, Edward, and Manny. A boys' trip, where we will camp in the woods, hunt for food, and maybe… we can even go fishing too!"
He said angrily and with disappointment, "He forgot about it and chose to go with his friends instead!"
[Commentary ends]
I went to Alex's room after she took a shower and had changed into her casual clothes.
"Why are you here?" Alex asked.
"Your mom sent me here to make sure you took a shower. She also gave me permission to wash you myself…" I sighed in disappointment, "but you decided to give yourself a bath without me."
Alex rolled her eyes and threw a tissue box at me.
"Hey, don't get me wrong. I don't want to wash you. I'm only doing this because your mom said she would talk with your dad if I talked to you."
"Oh really? So you're forced to put some soap on my naked body and run your hands on it?" Alex said with sarcastic annoyance.
"Yeah. I don't want to do it." I played nonchalant, which pissed her off greatly. "Also, I can use a brush. But if you want my hand, I can do that too." I teased.
Alex growled and snapped, "Get out of my room, Ed."
"Are you still sulking about Finneas?" I asked as I sat on the edge of her bed.
She was drying her hair with a towel, standing up. As she turned to me, she said, "I'm not sulking. Sulking means I'm just a little pissed off at him, but eventually, I am going to forgive him. This… is something different."
"Like, you want to get even with him?" I asked.
Alex nodded and said, "UHH!! I just wish there's some way I can hurt him the way he hurts me."
"Well, your boyfriend breaking up with you solely for the fact that he wants to sleep with other women is a justified reason to crash out."
"Shut up, Newgate." Alex rolled her eyes and sat next to me.
"If you were me, what would you do?" she asked.
"First, I would show a lot more cleavage all the time—"
Before I could finish, she punched me in the arm. It only hurt her hand instead of me.
She winced in pain, shaking her hurting hand.
"What did you eat every day? Metal beams?"
"Yeah. I down it with some jet fuel because that's how I can digest it," I teased.
Alex raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams—"
She was horrified when she came to the realization of what I manipulated her to say.
I inhaled exhilaratedly and laughed.
"You're horrible." She rolled her eyes again, but she laughed.
I grinned and said, "You know, if you really… and I mean REALLY, want to hurt him back, there's something else you can do."
…
In the kitchen, Phil and Claire sat there waiting for me to come down with Alex.
And we did, fifteen minutes later.
"Hola! Edward!" Gloria greeted me cheerfully and gave me a hug, pushing her baby bump onto me.
I widened my eyes slightly in surprise. "Gloria. I didn't expect to see you here."
"Ay, yes. Claire called me to come and talk with Alex. But I guess I'm not needed now," Gloria said cheerfully.
Alex narrowed her eyes at Claire. Phil looked at me and said, "So, are you done consoling Alex?"
"Oh, you're not mad at me anymore?" I asked Phil, shocked.
Gloria became quizzical and scolded, "Phil! Why are you angry at Edward? You know how much he has done for your family?!"
"No– NO! I'm not angry at him. I'm just disappointed that he invited his friends to go camping and forgot about our promise." Phil shook his hands, and his face was full of panic.
I raised an eyebrow, face full of confusion. "That's what you're mad about?"
"Yeah," Phil replied casually. Claire rolled her eyes and then changed the subject.
"Alex, are you okay now?" Claire asked.
Alex shrugged and said, "I think so. We came out with a plan upstairs."
"Oh, what plans?" Phil was intrigued.
I walked next to Alex and held her hand. "We're going to be boyfriend and girlfriend."
"WHAT?!" Claire, Phil, and Gloria were shocked.
I stretched my hands up and placed my right one on Alex's shoulder, pulling her close to me.
"Yup. We're dating now. Alex decided to take revenge on her ex-boyfriend, and who is the better choice other than Mr. 8 Pack Billionaire over here?" I said smugly.
Claire slapped my hand away and held Alex roughly. She stared into her eyes and said, "Alex! Are you crazy!?"
"Calm down. It's only a pretend relationship," Alex clarified. Phil and Gloria finally reacted, and smiles were creeping up their faces.
"Ahh… Fake boyfriend and girlfriend," Gloria said. "So you're going to make Finneas go crazy?"
"Yup," Alex replied.
Phil was a bit concerned. "Alex, what about your sister? And your friends? Will you tell them or let them think it's real?"
"I'll tell them, that's for sure," Alex replied.
Claire sighed and said, "I know you want to get even, but this may have an unrepairable effect on your relationships."
"Claire. The alternative is for Alex to date 10 different guys and sleep with all of them to get even with—"
Claire interrupted me and immediately said, "The fake relationship! Definitely that! A fake relationship is the best choice!"
"So… there's no objection? No… someone calling this plan a crazy plan?" I asked, slightly disappointed.
"NO!" Gloria snapped, making everyone flinch. She walked towards me and yelled, "THIS IS NOT JUST A CRAZY PLAN!"
I was prepared to get scolded, but then she hugged me and said, "This is a wonderful plan!"
"Ay-yay-yay," I muttered with disappointment.
Claire thought about it and said, "Baby hormones." Alex agreed with her.
Phil, however, freaked out immensely from the plan.
…
"So, we need some rules," Alex said as we returned to her room.
"I'm more interested in the fact that your dad doesn't see the irony of keeping us locked up in your room together when he didn't want us to be with each other," I said with amusement.
Alex rolled her eyes and said, "What irony? Nothing will happen between us, ever."
I leaned back and said, "Well. Don't be so quick to say it. You should never tempt fate."
"Shut it, Newgate," she scolded me. "Alright, some obvious rules. First, you cannot kiss me."
"I'm fine with that," I agreed. "However, what would you do if Finneas thought we were just faking and he wants to see us kiss?"
"That… I mean, if it came to that, then just do it," Alex said with a little blush.
"Secondly." She took out a piece of paper, but I stopped her.
"Whoa, whoa… Do you really want some written evidence? That's usually how the fake relationship movie got its conflict. One way or another, someone will see it and find out."
Alex contemplated it for a while. I should know she was really thinking since her eyebrows wiggled a lot and she took almost an entire minute to decide.
"Fine! We're both smart people. We can just remember the rules."
"Ooh! Ooh! Let me guess the second rule." I raised my hand excitedly.
"Go on."
"Never fall in love with each other."
Alex went silent again before she said, "Yes. Fuck! This is a fake relationship movie. If we're going to do this, we need to make sure that it won't turn out to be like that movie. Is there a fake relationship plotline where it actually works?"
I thought about it and said, "There's one with Joey and Monica, where they broke up a couple and took the spoils for themselves."
"Alright. From now on, you'll be Joey," Alex grinned.
"I don't want to be Joey," I whined. "I'm more of a Chandler guy."
"CHANDLER ENDS UP WITH MONICA, YOU IDIOT!" Alex scolded me.
"You don't have to be Monica. You can be Rachel or Phoebe. They don't really have a romantic relationship with Chandler," I tried to convince her.
"No! From now on, you're Kramer, and I'll be Ross," Alex said firmly.
"I'm sorry, but that's unacceptable. I won't ever be Kramer," I said firmly too.
Suddenly, Gloria entered the room. She sensed the intense atmosphere when she saw us staring at each other intensely.
"What's this? Your first fight as a couple?" Gloria asked. Alex blushed and snapped, "We're not a couple!"
"I don't care. Your father is calling for you," Gloria said to Alex. I tried to stand up, but Gloria said, "Only Alex."
"That's fine. To be clear, I can hear everything you say downstairs from here," I said casually.
Gloria widened her eyes and said, "There's no way you could listen to that."
I tilted my head lazily and said, "Phil said, 'I'm not making the same mistake as with my first daughter and letting him date Alex.' Claire said, 'They are just pretending.'"
"Then Phil said, 'How can Alex pretend when she's around him all the time? When they kiss for the first time, I'm sure this would be like a plot from every friends-turn-lovers romcom where they realize they have feelings for each other the entire time.'"
"Yes! YES! That's what Phil said," Gloria was excited. Alex blushed hard, her mouth agape. Then she quickly rushed out of the room and shouted, "DAD! Don't speak! He can hear you!"
I turned to Gloria and asked, "So how far along are you? 33 weeks?"
Gloria rubbed her pregnant stomach and said, "Yes. Only three more weeks to go."
Then the baby kicked. "Ouch!"
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Every time I said something about the weeks, he would kick me. Like he's afraid of getting evicted out of there."
"Aww…" I rubbed Gloria's stomach and gave her some Yang energy to ease the pain. "Hang in there, Joe."
"Joe?" Gloria was taken aback. "He's not Joe. He's Fulgencio Ramirez Pritchett. We're going to name him after my grandfather."
"No, he's going to be a Joe. Fulgencio Joseph (Joe) Ramirez Pritchett," I said casually.
Gloria was taken aback, then looked upwards slightly to think about the name and said, "Okay. We can go with that."
She asked, "Did Jay tell you about it?"
"No. I can see the future. And there's a pretty bad thing too. He's going to be born on the same birthday as Manny."
"¿Qué?!" Gloria estaba shockeada.
I didn't know why she trusted my words so much. Maybe it was the hormones making her brain all haywire.
"He would not do that to his own brother." Gloria said with a nervous smile.
"Gloria, I'm just joking." I told her.
She sighed in relief and laughed out loud. "Oh Edward, you jokestar– Ay!"
Suddenly, Gloria winces in pain as her belly starts having contractions.
I took off my hand and said, "Oh. Sorry about that."
"No– It's not you– It's… AY!" She winces again, holding her stomach this time. Her expression was full of fear.
"No. It can't be. We're only 33 weeks in." I said as I stood up quickly.
Maybe it was the Yang energy I sent to her womb that was causing that, so I immediately held her stomach again and sent my energy into it to check.
However, that just made her have another contraction.
"AYY! Edward! Joe is coming! Ca– Call Jay!"
"Ok-Okay!" I said nervously and just tapped on my smartwatch. Oracle immediately called Jay without me needing to say anything.
"It's fine. Gloria, the water didn't break yet. We still have some time to go to the hospital. I'm sure this is just Hixton Brick." I said.
She grimaced and said, "It's Braxton Hick!"
"Oh wow. Maybe I'm more nervous than I thought." I said with a blank expression.
"Edward– Edward, keep holding to my belly. There's less pain when you do that." Gloria begged as her knees became weak and she fell to the floor in Alex's bedroom.
"Crap." I cursed and picked her up easily. Then, I rushed her outside of the house in just three jumps.
Claire, Alex and Phil talked outside to prevent me from eavesdropping. When I ran outside with Gloria in my hand, they were all startled.
"Edward! What happened?" Phil asked with concern and shock.
"The baby's coming early!" I told them and put Gloria on the back of my car.
"EDWARRRRDDD! DON'T LET GOOO!" Gloria yelled as I removed my hand from her belly. I didn't want to cut off the yang chakra since it was easing her pain, so I yelled to the others.
"Hey! We need to get to the hospital now!"
"Phil!" Claire shook him out of his blacked out state.
"O-On it." Phil said and ran to the car. Jay finally picked up the call and asked, "Hello? Edward? Why did you call me–"
"JJJJJJJJJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!" Gloria yelled while grabbing my hair. "I'm HAVING THE BABY!!!"
"Oh my god." Alex immediately recorded the scene as she thought it was amusing to see my hair got grabbed like that.
"Edward– I don't think we can go to the hospital now. The baby's coming out of me… RIGHT NOW!" Gloria huffed heavily.
"Oh god– Inside the Mustang?" Phil was having a different interest here.
"Oh! I think I can deliver the baby–" Alex rushed towards the back seat, then she saw some blood on my hand.
She froze and fainted on the spot.
"CLAIRE!" Gloria yelled.
"Oh God! Oh God!" Claire was dumbfounded.
"Gloria. I can deliver the baby… if you give me consent." I told her.
She panted slightly and said, "Oh… Okay! I trust you Edward."