The neon clock on my streaming box blinked at 10:00 as the familiar Revenge of the Weak opening theme erupted from my TV.
I had spent the entire week getting ready for this moment, clearing my schedule, putting snacks in the cupboard, and even hanging a homemade "Do Not Disturb" sign that said, "Watching Revenge of the Weak finale," on the door of my apartment.
Emergencies only (unless you have ice cream)."
I held my bowl of freshly prepared ramyeon as if it were the Holy Grail.
The noodles were just the right amount of chewy yet firm after three minutes of boiling, and the aroma of the spicy broth was enough to make my nose tingle. I even sprinkled some green onions on top for a ~gourmet~ touch.
"This is it," I muttered to myself while holding chopsticks in a dramatic position. "The episode where Charles finally exposes Koo Woo Tae's crimes and Kim Bu Hyeon gets her revenge." My heart raced as if I were the one who was going to carry out a grand, ten-year revenge scheme.
Across the room, my cat, Chairman Meow yes, I named him after Revenge of the Weak's luxury apartment, gave me a judgmental stare from his throne on the bookshelf.
"Don't look at me like that," I told him. "This is cultural enrichment."
He blinked slowly, then began licking his paw carefully, the feline equivalent of an eye-roll.
10:03 PM
Just as Kim Bu Hyeon was being wrongfully arrested (ugh, the injustice!), the doorbell rang.
"DING DONG."
I almost sent my ramyeon into space. "WHO DARES?!" I screamed, causing broth to splash onto my EX' ACT "World Domination Tour" hoodie.
If my cheap apartment had security footage, it would have shown me answering the door while holding noodles in my mouth like a crazy marionette. Standing there with a Cheshire Cat smile, Sis held two glittery tickets between her fingers.
She waved the tickets and sang, "Guess what just fell into my lap?"
My eyes narrowed. Under the hallway lights, the well-known EX' ACT logo shone brightly. I gasped.
"No. Way."
"First row. This Saturday. "Post-military-service EX' ACT in all their glory," Sis declared, obviously taking pleasure in my astonished look. "You in?"
My mind went into short circuit. Front row? To EX' ACT? After years of waiting?
"I would sell my soul for those," I blurted, then realized that my reaction video was being recorded on my phone. "Yes, please, my dear sister, who is generous and kind."
Sis chuckled. "Meet me at my apartment at 6 PM. And wear your Obsession shirt, it's the superior era."
"Excuse you, Love Shot—"
Ding dong.
Neither of us moved.
Wait. That wasn't my doorbell.
Sis's face changed to one of horror as she took out her phone.
"Oh no. Oh no no no—"
"What? What's wrong?"
She turned her screen toward me. A notification glared back.
"EX'ACT 'EXIT' TOUR – SEOUL: SOLD OUT"
"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" I screamed. "WE JUST GOT TICKETS!"
Sis smiled evilly. "Ayaka! I bought these months ago. I wanted to surprise you."
My mouth dropped open.
"You evil genius."
"I know," she smirked. "Now go finish your drama. I'll call you later to plan outfits."
I screamed after her as she walked away, "YOU BETTER NOT BAIL ON ME LIKE Charles DID IN EPISODE 12!"
Her laughter echoed down the hallway.
10:07 PM
I returned to the couch and threw myself into my ramyeon with newfound energy. The drama was reaching its peak.
Kim Bu Hyeon, framed for murder?
Check.
Evil Koo Woo Tae smirking like the snake he was?
Check.
Charles Lee appearing in slow-motion through literal smoke, in trench coat, like a K-drama Batman?
CHECK.
"YEEEEESSSS!" I pumped my fist, launching a stray noodle across the room. It landed with a wet sound on Chairman Meow's head.
He froze. Slowly, ominously, he turned to stare at me. His eyes said.
"You are dead to me."
"Sorry! Sorry!" I shouted in a whisper, but it was too late. He jumped off the bookshelf and walked off, tail flicking in disgust, with the dignity of a mocked king.
I returned to the screen just in time to see Charles deliver his iconic line.
"Some tragedies… are written in the stars."
Chills. Literal chills.
I stuff a huge spoonful of noodles into my mouth without chewing because I am so excited.
Big. Mistake.
10:08 PM
The noodle was stuck in my throat like it had a lease agreement.
I gagged. No air. NO AIR.
Me: (clutching throat, voice strangled) "Kkh—S-Siri! Call 911!"
Siri: "Playing 'Don't Fight the Feeling' at maximum volume."
Me: "NO—"
When I tried to reach for my phone, my foot got caught in my blanket burrito. Time slowed while I threw myself forward.
SPLASH.
I face-planted directly into my spilled ramyeon broth.
Chairman Meow came back, sniffed at my lifeless hand, and moved past me to lick the noodles that had been left behind.
With my vision growing hazy, I thought, This is it. I'm gonna die to the sound of Woohyun's high notes, and my cat will feast on my remains.
Final Thought.
"At least my search history will auto-delete… WAIT, NO IT WON'T—"
Later That Night – Sis's Group Chat
Sis:"GUYS. SHE DIED WATCHING REVENGE OF THE WEAK. I TOLD HER NOT TO EAT AND WATCH!"
Friend A: "So… we still using her concert ticket?"
Friend B: "I call for her lightstick."
Sis: "MONSTERS."
Next Morning – Twitter Trends
🔥 "RIPnoodlequeen"
🔥 "Revenge of the Weak claims another victim"
🔥 "EX' ACT concert now a memorial service"
Chairman Meow's Diary
"Finally. Peace. Also, licked the ramyeon. 10/10. Would kill again."