Rae POV
I know you made be wondering if i have friends, honestly, no i don't. i had a friend but she had left the school since her family moved to another country so yeah am all alone. And i don't think I'll make any friends am not cool and all i barely have what to talk about with others i have no real experience with the outside world its alway school then the holidays i just stay home all holiday.
its been a week since i had that conversation with Nally and we haven't talked since then.
it has just been hi and hey when we meet on the corridors.
And also it been hard since i started having this horrible nightmares.
its not really that i don't want friends...while growing up my mom always said its not necessary to have friends because one day or the other they all let you down so to build your self you can only count on your self...
so every time i thought of having a friend someone i could really trust it was hard... what my mom said was the truth i can only count on me to build me...so now i got trust issues more so the issue with my dad and my mom and the lies
its really hard to trust anybody.
i have once had a friend and she well did what my mom said people will do if u rely on them it was not until that incident that i actually believed what my mom was always telling me
so i don't really trust anyone anymore
sad story of my live huh
i also have happy moments will my family
where will go on holidays just the three of us play games and the lay on both my parents leg my dad would give me head massage and my mom a foot massage. omg i miss those days.
but now my main focus is to get through this last year and then figure out what i'll do at collage.
but as the say one step at the time... i think i should stop thinking about my past and see what i can make of the closest future which os tomorrow and i have being on this assignment for the past 2hours and i haven't done anything and its due tomorrow omg am so screwed
"you need any help?" i turned to look who was asking and behold our lovely 'mischief'
"nope all good" was what i said before focusing my attention back to the book infront of me.
"ok" was all she said before getting back to her seat.
of course i didn't need her help i could do this on my own.
After spending another hour on the assignment i was getting real frustrated i hadn't finished one exercise from it and they were ten of them i turn and saw how she had already finished her work and was now doing lil chitchats with her friends. she was the only available person who could help me at the moment buy am not gonna ask for her help and can do it just fine "right?" i heard Nally say i hadn't even noticed i was speaking out loud
"so you don't wanna ask for help huh?!"
"no doing perfectly fine"
"why don't you want help you got a class mate her don't you why don't you ask her?!
"i don't want to i can do it" i said to Nally standing up to go get some water.
when i got out of the class i realised i also need to pee so i went to the rest room i rest room was really big i wander why they made it so big...not that am complaining tho
i got water in my battle and decided to hang around alil while to get my head cleared and all after standing here for like 3minutes which seemed awfully long i decided to head back to class
as i got into the class i notice something odd...
she was now sitting close to my table i just went straight sat on my table and didn't even look at her
"you sure need help. let me help you"
she said giving me a lil smile
"you know the assignment is due tomorrow morning and you seem to have not even started yet"
she was right i didn't have time we just had about 45minutes before bed time so i had no choice than to admit to her that i needed her help
"fine yes i need your help. pls help me" i said rolling mh eyes i cant believe i just said i need her
"well then lets get started"she said picking up my pencil
she was so smart i mean i am smart but she is just far more smart than i can ever be some times i envy her brains she always has the time for social life and other things and she is still so smart... while me on tbe other hand if i just get little stressed out i cant even read.
i wonder how she manages to do that
"do you understand" i skipped abit i she raised her voice a little when she said that
i was drifted in my own thoughts and not listening. this how i dont get to understand stuff because i just drift out
"its ok ill say it again but you have to pay attention this time" was what she said before i even had the time to respond to the first question
anyways doesn't matter i had to listen this time i don't wanna need to ask for her help next time
the bell rang and it was time for bed i started packing my things to head towards the dorm
and she just sat there looking at me
"wont you pack your stuff too?!" i ask still having all my attention on what i was doing
"my friends already did that for me"
"ok" was all i said i was done now so i was heading out
"hey Rae" i turned around didn't respond but was just staring at her waiting on her to speak up she was hesitant so i turned and continued my walk
"if you ever need help I'll always be ready to help" she said behind me
"ok" was all i said not even turning to loom back in her direction
off i go to bed it was a long day today