As the sun hits my skin, I open my eyes. My sides hurt so much. I try to remember the last thing the Chaos Broadcaster said to me, but the pain makes it hard to focus. My eyesight is blurry. I see a giant black arm with white spots. I reach out and examine the hand — is it a claw with digital pads or a paw? How interesting.
My eyes slowly adjust. A blurry image of a giant black figure with white spots on their skin comes into focus. He is dwarfing the bed — his feet literally touching the floor. How tall is this person? I reach out and touch his chest and abs. He is built. Is this how beings are designed in this world? I will have to thank him for saving me. I try to get up, but my side screams in pain. I lay back down.
Damn. I need a drink.
Ricardo: Mmm, touch me again. Carlos, that felt nice.
His tall frame rolls and lays his full weight directly on me. I yell out and spook him so badly that his head goes straight through the ceiling. I fall off the bed and get up on one knee.
Ricardo: Ah, that hurts. Wait — why can I see outside?
He pulls his head back in.
Ricardo: Oh. You are up. Stay. Stay.
He shifts, falls out of the bed, and stands up — his entire head and shoulders punching through the roof again. He comes back down and kneels on the floor.
Ricardo: Why am I so tall? Did you do this with some kind of power, Monster?
Kaimana: Excuse me — I am no monster, and I did not make you a giant. Damn, my sight is so blurry. I need to splash water on my face and use the bathroom. Is that the bathroom over there? Of course it is.
Ricardo: Hey, you cannot just—
Kaimana: What do you want me to do — use the floor? Jesus, man. Unclench.
I walk to the bathroom, handle my business, turn on the faucet, and dunk my head under the running water. I open my eyes, shake off the water, splash some into my curly afro, and wipe my face with his towel. I walk back out in my birthday suit.
Great. No clothes. Well. This is a situation.
Kaimana: Look, if it is no trouble, could I get something to wear? Because everything is out in the open right now. Oh — wait a minute. Are you a dog?
Ricardo: Excuse me — you called me what?
Kaimana: A canine. A dog. You are a black Dalmatian. And why are you so tall? Are all of your kind built like you?
Ricardo: Hey — stop touching me.
Kaimana: Do you always wag your tail when you are excited, or is that when you are confused? I am just curious. I do not mind at all.
Ricardo: I am not a dog. You must be referring to our ancestors — but please do not use that word.
Kaimana: I am sorry. I did not know that word was offensive. What should I call you?
Ricardo: Beast Morph.
He snaps his fingers, and vines begin wrapping around the inside of the house, patching the ceiling he damaged on his way through.
Kaimana: It was not my intention to anger you. I am sorry. I just got so excited about being in a new world.
Ricardo: Wait — another world? Where did you come from, Monster?
Kaimana: Okay, let us also stop with the monster talk. My name is Kaimana. Not a monster — though I do want to get back to why you keep calling me that. But first, please — I need a drink.
Ricardo: You want water?
Kaimana: No, I want booze. Alcohol. Something to dull this pain in my side.
I watch him walk into the kitchen and pull out a blue liquid. I take it from his hand and knock it back like I am at my bar back home. The taste is heaven — a hint of sour and sweet. It feels wonderful.
Ricardo: You can stomach that? That hard liquor is strong even for me.
Kaimana: What is this called?
Ricardo: Smurf-Turf. Made from screaming berries mixed with devil lemons. Fermented for about an hour and it is done.
Kaimana: So alcoholic beverages are quick to make here. I love that.
Ricardo: Hey — do not dodge the question. What do you mean you came from another world?
Kaimana: Right. So — you might want to have a seat.
Ricardo: Nope. I will stand. Or kneel, since all I can do is kneel.
Kaimana: Alright. Kneel. But do not fall. So — I was pulled from a world that runs parallel to your universe. The Chaos Broadcaster brought me here.
Ricardo: Wait — our lord brought you here?
Ricardo kneels down further, making the kitchen rattle. He crosses his arms and raises one hand to the ceiling.
Ricardo: Praise to the ratings of the Broadcaster.
Kaimana: And that is exactly why I said sit. But if clutching your pearls works for you, I am fine with it.
He rushes forward and pins Kaimana to the floor, tail wagging rapidly with excitement.
Ricardo: Please — tell me what the Chaos Broadcaster was like. Was she beautiful? Did she grant you knowledge through the vast universe?
Kaimana: First — can you get your big self off me? You are heavy.
Ricardo lifts himself off Kaimana and takes a seat on the couch — the only piece of furniture that looks like it can hold him.
Kaimana: To answer your question — the Broadcaster is not a she, but a he. His name is Delta. He is a gossip and a tulip and has a lot of fire in that pot. The only thing he told me was that he brought me here to breathe some life into his coworker's world. Said it is time for a crossover.
Ricardo: Hmm. Interesting. Anything else?
Kaimana: He picks his actors very carefully. He wants to make sure I give a good show — and told me to tell Gaia hello. That is all I can say. If I reveal any spoilers, he will take action, so that is as far as I go.
Ricardo gets up and walks toward Kaimana. He takes his hands and rubs them gently. It tickles. The feel of his pads on his skin, his claws brushing carefully — and then without warning, a small cut opens on Kaimana's palm.
Kaimana: Ah — what the hell?
Ricardo: Holy — you are not like the humans of this world.
Kaimana: You could have warned me before doing that. Now how am I different exactly? Because I bleed?
Ricardo: The humans of our world had gray blood. Yours is red. That is strange.
Kaimana: But did you have to make it so dramatic?
Ricardo: It was the only way to get your blood flowing more freely. By — you know — warming up your body a little. I apologize if I—
Kaimana: I am over your teasing, hold me and never let me go charm. Now — do you want to talk about this Carlos fellow? You were muttering his name in your sleep.
Ricardo: Carlos — I need to check if he is alright.
He rushes to find clothes that fit his new height. Everything is snug but it will have to do.
Ricardo: Okay. I am going to go see Carlos and the chief. You stay here and I will bring something back.
Kaimana steps in front of the door.
Kaimana: Oh no you do not. I am coming with you.
Ricardo: You cannot. The people in the village will not take kindly to seeing a human on this planet. Let me ease them into it.
Kaimana: You are talking to a gay Polynesian-Haitian man. I have been ripping band-aids my whole life. It is better to do it now than to tiptoe forever. Trust me. Let us go down there and—
Ricardo: I SAID NO.
Vines wrap around the lower half of Kaimana's body, locking him in place.
Kaimana: Really? If I had a newspaper I would bop you right on the nose. Release me, you sexy beast.
Ricardo: Just stay. Staaay. Okay?
Kaimana: I am not a pet, you borderline walking breathing plushie toy.
I walk out and close the door behind me. I run on all fours toward the center of town. The mayor should be on his morning walk. As I move, everything around me feels more alive than before — the grass, the air, all of it dancing around my body. The trees have more flow, shifting with an energy that feels connected and warm. Not intense, but deeply comforting.
I see the village moving as busy as ever. I spot the mayor on his walk, but there is no sign of Carlos.
Ricardo: Mayor Babatunde!
I approach him quickly.
Babatunde: Oh, my child. You have grown — but calm yourself. You look like you ran a full marathon. Now, what do I owe the pleasure? I heard you went to investigate the falling star. Did you find something?
Ricardo: Yes, Mayor. I found the star. Only — it is not exactly a star. It is a person.
Babatunde: And what kind of person have you found?
Ricardo: More of a dimensional being. He came from another universe through another Chaos Broadcaster — and get this, the Broadcaster is not a she but a he. He brought Kaimana here to stir things up.
Babatunde: Oh my. Well, the pot is already being stirred — is that not the star walking into the quad right now?
I spin around to see Kaimana strolling into the square in one of my shirts, waving cheerfully at everyone. Some people hide. Others try to run.
Ricardo: How in Gaia's name did he get out of those vines?
Babatunde: Oh, this is exciting. The monster has come to greet us.
Ricardo: Wait — sir, how can you see him? Are you not blind?
Babatunde: I do not know, my pup. My gift has been changing. For the first time I can see the color of auras — by reading vibrations through the ground. It gives me a visual of the surrounding area like shifting patterns. I wonder if that child is doing it, or if Gaia is blessing us — but why would she—
Ricardo: I am sorry, I have to go.
Babatunde: Understood. Please bring the young man to me.
(This city is lively — but a bit underwhelming in the style department.)
Kaimana: Oh wow — pixies, witches — I love that purple skin tone on you, witchling. Oh, is that a slime person?
I know no one wants me here. But someone has to rip the band-aid. I ask a young lady what her price is for the fruit — she ignores me. Then I feel a tug on my shirt. A small bone child looks up at me.
Kaimana: Well hello there. Who might you be?
Takai: I am Takai. I am 6 years old. My friends told me that you monsters did terrible things to people.
Kaimana: I am not like the monsters in your stories. I am an explorer who came from the stars — someone who wants to see the wonders of your world and be around your people.
Takai: Are you going to im-pris-on or en — en — salve?
Kaimana: Enslave.
Takai: Yes. That word.
Kaimana: No one should ever enslave another because they look different, or because they believe they are superior. In my world, humans have done that to other humans — over the color of their skin, their gender, their race, their sexuality, their religion. No, my little one. I would never do that.
The bone child begins to cry. I pull him into a hug. What pain has this child already known? Our moment is cut short. A dragon woman snatches him from my arms, calls me a monster, and lashes me across the cheek with her tail as she walks away. It cuts clean. She places him with the other children. He must be an orphan.
I hear heavy breathing behind me. And there he is — our Dalmatian.
Ricardo: How in Gaia's name did you get out?
Kaimana: I just kept telling the vines to let me go and they did. I jogged from your house to here — it is not that far. Fun jog, actually. The stares I got along the way were priceless. Like watching a bad Met Gala outfit hit the carpet.
Ricardo: They are more afraid of you than you realize. More in shock than anything.
Kaimana: But how do they even know I am human? I am not bleeding everywhere. I could almost pass for one of the witches over there — they look more human than anything else. Except their skin is so beautifully colorful.
Ricardo: Your scent gives you away. One whiff and everyone knows. You give off a strange but heavenly aroma. And trust me — you could never pass for a witch.
Kaimana: Good to know. So — should we go find the mayor or—
A mighty roar tears through the air so powerful it drops everyone to their knees. I look back to see Benjamin using his ability. This is not good.
Carlos moves with such speed I do not even see him approach. He grabs my arm and hurls me to the side.
Kaimana: Ricardo—
He drives his foot into Kaimana's stomach. Kaimana hits the ground, clutching his midsection.
Carlos: You do not get to say his name. You filthy monster. He may have stopped me once, but coming to this village was a mistake.
Kaimana: You must be Carlos. And who are the other two on your shoulder? Nice to meet you all.
Benjamin: I am Benjamin. Nice to meet you.
Davi: The name is Davi, cutie. If I could take control right now, I would absolutely want to spend some time with you.
Kaimana: Oh wow — I have so many questions about that. Can we reschedule the head bashing and go straight to that instead? Because I find all of you fascinating.
Carlos: You do not get to say his name. And you two — stop talking to the enemy. Which side are you on?
He snaps his fingers. A giant hammer materializes. My life does not flash before my eyes. So that myth is busted. All I can do is stand up and hold my side. He hits hard. I look at Carlos — really look at him — and see through his eyes. So much pain. So much sorrow twisted into rage. The other two do not carry it the same way he does.
I kneel and look at him with an expression that says — it is okay.
It pisses him off. Here comes the hammer — but it is blocked by giant trees.
Carlos: YOU WOULD PROTECT HIM? WHY?
Ricardo: I am sorry, Carlos. But he is not our enemy. He is not like the humans of this world. He is a unique human from another universe — brought here by the Chaos Broadcaster himself. Yes. I will protect him. Even from you. If he meant us harm, do you not think I would have dealt with it already?
Carlos: Do you not understand? The longer he breathes our air, eats our food, and stays on this planet — the more it means doom for all of us.
Ricardo: You do not know that.
Carlos: I do. You were not here when they attacked the village. When I had to watch her die right in front of me. When I watched everyone burn. You were not here.
Ricardo: I am so sorry you had to go through that. But you cannot pour all that pain onto someone who never showed us hatred to begin with.
Benjamin: Brother — he is right.
Davi: You cannot keep running on hate alone. It is tearing you apart.
Carlos: Forget this.
He smashes the trees down with one swing of the hammer. Kaimana kneels and reaches out a hand toward him. Before Carlos can swing again, a shockwave knocks everyone off their feet. The mayor and his secretary stand at the center.
Babatunde: Young ones — always playing where they should not be. That is what the park is for. Go play tag.
Kaimana: Tag?
The mayor walks up to Kaimana and lifts him with one arm.
Kaimana: Good lord, you are tall. Fifteen feet at least — and built, Zaddy.
Babatunde: Oh, I was quite good at many things in my youth. I do not know about now.
Davi: Hey old man — I want the human first.
Babatunde: Hush, Davi. Let an old man have his moment.
Kaimana: So — you said tag?