I was calm.
That's the end, huh?
Surprisingly calm for my own death.
There was nothing but darkness around me, I had no body, no feeling, nothing. It was as if only my consciousness existed in this dark space while everything else was gone.
But before the reality of my situation could settle, my mind shifted to something else. Memories. They came out of nowhere and showed my life in fragments, like short snippets of a movie.
Lukas Wane, twenty-one years old, just some average guy you'd see on the street.
I had a loving family, some close friends, and even a girlfriend. A decent office job, nothing special. Great social skills, but too annoyed by people to use them. And I was lazy...the laziest person you could find. Luckily, I had good looks.
That's me...my life in a nutshell.
Yeah… I had regrets, plenty of them. Things I never did. Chances I never took. But it was good...right?
The thought hung for a moment.
In the end, I lived. That's it. And now… I died.
My thoughts stopped as light suddenly appeared. Blinding white light, it illuminated everything and swallowed the darkness.
I blinked, the light was just too intense for my eyes. Wait... my eyes? Then came the weight. First my arms, then my legs. I stumbled before I found balance.
What's going on?
Confusion struck me as I felt my body again, and I lowered my gaze at once, checking myself out.
My white shirt was torn at the shoulder, and red stains covered it, but it was the same shirt I had worn before. My black jeans were the same, ragged with holes and bloodstains, but exactly what I wore during the crash.
I stopped, and my focus shifted away from myself and toward the figure that appeared in the corner of my eye.
It stood ahead, just a few meters away from me.
The figure had blue eyes, messy black hair, and a sharp jawline. He was tall and broad-shouldered, athletic even. The man stood casually, hands in his pockets, and wore a black shirt and sweatpants.
"…Huh?"
That's... me.
He stared at me, looking me up and down with tired eyes before letting out a heavy sigh.
"You died."
My throat went dry at his words.
"Is...this real?"
"Real enough," he answered, his voice flat and weary, as if even speaking exhausted him.
A chuckle escaped me at the surreal situation, and I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
"So what are you? A god or what?"
The man fell silent at my question and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, something bitter lingered in his gaze before he slowly shook his head and looked away.
"No," he said quietly. "Not a god. Just you."
"Me?" I asked, confused.
He took a slow, heavy breath, making even that seem like a heavy task. Then gestured toward the blank horizon behind him with his chin.
"Or more like…we are you."
The moment he said it, the white space shifted, figures appeared out of nowhere, stepping forward one by one.
A man in a doctor's coat.
A man in a soccer kit.
Another in a suit.
One held a toddler.
One stood beside Lisa, a ring gleaming on both of their fingers.
They looked similar, yet none of them were the same. Still, they all had one thing in common. They were me...or more like they wore my face.
Doctors. Athletes. Actors. Bankers. Fathers. Husbands... and many more.
"What the hell…?" I instinctively took a step back.
He ignored my reaction and gestured toward them.
"Watch closely."
"Watch what?"
He turned then, looking at me again.
"All the things you could've become, but didn't."
One by one, he pointed at them.
"That one? You, if you didn't quit studying."
"That one? You, if you'd taken soccer seriously."
"That one? You, if you stayed disciplined with your training."
"That one? You, if you'd had the guts to propose to Lisa."
"That one? You, if you'd taken the banking job."
"That one? You, if...."
At last, he stepped forward.
"And me? I'm the you who... who didn't leave the party. I kept living."
Silence enveloped us as I looked at the army of men behind him. They wore my face, but their expressions weren't familiar to me; they felt empty, hollow even.
I didn't know what to do, what to say. Should I be surprised, confused, maybe even angered? Honestly, it was all too much for me. It would have been for anyone in my shoes.
Step.
He closed the distance further, and with every step, with each question, his voice rose.
"Are you happy?"
"Did you live a good life?"
"Don't you have regrets?"
"Don't you want more?!"
We were only an arm's length apart when he finally stopped, staring deep into my eyes. His words reverberated inside me, making my hands tremble. I clenched my fists, forcing them still, and took a deep breath to steady myself before finally speaking again.
"Yes," I began, "I could have been all that, some rich guy, famous athlete, or anything else. But...I was happy. That's all that mattered."
I paused and took another breath before continuing.
"I had it all. Friends, family, even a girlfriend. It was a good life. It was enough."
His expression changed at my words. The tiredness in his eyes vanished for a moment, replaced by something sharp enough to make my skin prickle. For a moment, it felt like anger that I saw in them, then it was gone.
"Enough?" He whispered.
"What?"
His head suddenly turned as he looked away, somewhere behind me. It lasted only a second before his sharp gaze returned to me. When he spoke again, his voice was even, almost calm.
"Is it really enough?" His gaze stayed on me. "If you had one more chance… would you really stop there? Don't you want more?"
I answered instantly, "No."
"Liar."
"It's the truth."
He frowned as if annoyed.
"You really think you can lie here?"
Then, after looking back at the other versions of me with an expression that seemed to say—'is this guy serious?'—he spoke again.
"Hey, genius. Did you forget that I am you?"
I frowned, growing more annoyed the longer we spoke.
"People can change."
He let the silence hang and stared at me with a blank expression before sighing.
"I am the 'you' from tomorrow."
I shrugged my shoulders.
"I'm quite spontaneous, you know?"
He nodded.
"True."
A pause.
"You are still lying."
"I'm not."
"You are."
"It's the truth."
"A lie."
"No."
"Yes."
"N—"
"Yes."
My calm finally snapped. One step brought me right in front of him, and before I knew it, my hand had already closed around his collar, pulling him closer.
"Fuck! Of course I want more! Stop asking me questions you already know the answer to! Who doesn't want more!?"
He didn't flinch, didn't twitch, and just stood there, staring at me as if he already knew everything about me, as if my actions were just a child's outburst.
"Good." His expression softened slightly. "Then live your next life without regrets."
His palm rose as he finally moved, but instead of pushing me away, he lightly touched my chest. Not pushing. Not shoving. Just a simple...
Tap.
I frowned, "What the hell are you—"
The last thing I saw was his gentle smile before darkness swallowed me again.
◇ ◇ ◇
The darkness receded, and slowly, light began to fill my vision again. At first, it was blinding, then it softened.
My body felt impossibly heavy until something caught me. I couldn't see yet, but I felt it all. Arms. They were trembling, but gentle. I felt skin press against my cheek, the beat of a racing heart, and warmth flowing into me.
Slowly, my eyes adjusted, and a figure filled my vision.
A woman.
Her long hair hung loose, damp with sweat and tears. Strands of it clung stubbornly to her cheeks, covering half her face. Her eyes were exhausted, yet shone as they found me. A tired smile found her lips before she whispered.
"My son."
The words stunned me. For a moment, my head went blank, but it didn't take long for understanding to come: I was reborn. But as soon as the thought settled, pain followed.
It climbed up my skull, making my vision waver, and turned the woman's voice into muffled echoes. It felt as though something deep inside me was being pulled apart, as if my very soul was shaking.
Then it came...
A whisper.
Something tried to speak to me, but the words slipped away before I could grasp them, and once more, darkness swallowed me.