Before the morning sun could warm the streets of the Royal Capital, a shrill, urgent alarm shattered the silence.
It was the highest-level red alert. The deafening toll of enormous bells echoed across the city alongside the blare of magical loudspeakers.
"Warning! Warning! A Demon King's General is leading a surprise attack on the Royal Capital's northern gate! All Adventurers at Level 20 or above, report to the city walls immediately! I repeat, this is not a drill! The Demon King's Army is invading!"
Lord Alderp's estate instantly descended into chaos.
As both a noble of the kingdom and a Crusader, Darkness practically launched herself into motion, stumbling toward the living room as she struggled into her heavy armor.
Megumin followed close behind. Although sleep still clung to the corners of her eyes, her staff was already giving off a dangerous red glow. She was unusually excited now that she finally had a legitimate reason to unleash Explosion.
However, when the two arrived in the living room fully armed and ready to march heroically to their deaths alongside their companions, they found only a few trembling servants. The other three were nowhere in sight.
"What the hell?! Are those three seriously still asleep at a time like this?!"
Gritting her teeth, Darkness stormed upstairs and kicked open the first bedroom door with a bang.
Inside, Kōichi lay sprawled across a large silk bed. One hand still clutched a stack of blank stationery bearing a noble crest, which he had swiped from Lord Alderp's study the night before.
"Kōichi! Wake up! The Demon King's Army is attacking!"
Darkness ripped away the covers and roared.
Kōichi slowly opened a pair of bloodshot yet remarkably calm eyes. His voice was as casual as if they were discussing breakfast.
"The Demon King's Army? Just leave them to Kyouya Mitsurugi. Doesn't he have a Holy Sword? My duty is to remain undercover and guard this place. What if the Robin Hood-like thief uses the chaos to steal Alderp-sama's treasures? I take my professional responsibilities very seriously."
Darkness nearly fainted from rage. She spun around and kicked open the door to Kazuma's room next.
Kazuma was even worse.
He sat on the edge of the bed, feverishly counting the loose change he had temporarily confiscated from Aqua the previous night. He did not even look up when they entered.
"Keep it down, Darkness. A Demon King's Army invasion is a job for high-level Adventurers. What good would I be there besides providing the Demons with an extra meal? I'm currently conducting a careful audit of our assets. This is all for the Party's future."
Finally, the two stormed into Aqua's room.
The Goddess of Water lay spread-eagled across the carpet, clutching the Tear of the Aurora tightly to her chest. A suspicious trail of drool ran from the corner of her mouth.
"Aqua! The Demon King's Army is attacking the city! As a Goddess, shouldn't you be doing something?!"
Unable to contain herself, Megumin prodded Aqua's stomach with her staff.
Aqua rolled over without opening her eyes and mumbled indistinctly.
"The Demon King's Army... Just let that sparkly Mitsurugi deal with them... This Goddess has to protect this gemstone... It's Axel's... No, it's all humanity's greatest treasure... Nobody is making me leave this bed..."
Faced with three teammates who had completely surrendered to uselessness, Darkness began trembling with shame and fury. Her beautiful face turned bright red.
"Y-You hopeless fools! Every citizen has a duty to defend the nation! If the Royal Capital falls, what good will your gemstone and money be then?!"
Kōichi had been lying on the bed like a dead fish, but at Darkness's furious declaration about the nation's fate, a cog labeled "permanent meal ticket" suddenly began spinning wildly in his mind.
Wait.
If the Royal Capital truly fell, wouldn't his unlimited meal ticket from Her Highness Iris become worthless?
And if he accomplished some earth-shattering feat in this battle, wouldn't his status in the palace rise from freeloader to national hero?
Then he would not merely be able to strut through the corridors. He could perform Nature's Beauty on Alderp-sama's head, and no one would dare say a word!
Kōichi sprang off the bed with a sudden flip. The lethargy in his eyes vanished, replaced by the burning fervor of pure self-interest.
"Kazuma! Aqua! Stop sleeping and get up right now!!"
Kōichi's thunderous roar sent dust raining from the ceiling.
"What do you want... Kōichi, why are you freaking out...?"
Still clutching his pile of loose change, Kazuma grumbled irritably.
"You idiot! Don't you understand?"
Kōichi rushed over and seized Kazuma by the collar, his expression wild with manic excitement.
"This isn't an invasion by the Demon King's Army! It's a noble title on legs, an endless bounty, and the adoring gaze of Her Highness Iris! All we have to do is show our faces in this battle and earn a little credit. Then we'll be able to get anything we want in the Royal Capital! Think about it. If we save the kingdom, what does that handful of change matter? We're going after the national treasury!"
Kazuma froze for half a second. Then the same greedy fire ignited in his dead-fish eyes.
"The... national treasury?! You're right! Once I become a hero, I can openly ask Her Highness Iris to introduce me to a hundred beautiful girls... Ahem. I mean, for the peace of the kingdom, I, Kazuma Satou, must fulfill my duty!"
"And you, Aqua!"
Kōichi turned toward the Goddess, who was still rubbing her cheek against the gemstone, and spoke in a voice dripping with temptation.
"If you distinguish yourself in battle, I'll recommend that the king make the Axis Order the state religion! Then people all over the world will offer you the most expensive sparkling wine, and you'll have so many gemstones that you can skip them across lakes!"
"Are you serious?! You'll make the Axis Order the state religion?!"
Aqua instantly snapped awake. Her body became a blue blur as she somehow produced her staff, her expression now solemn and divinely untouchable.
"In that case, those despicable soldiers of the Demon King's Army have sealed their fate by disturbing this Goddess's sleep! Kōichi, Kazuma, let's go! We're going to purify those evil villains!"
Darkness and Megumin stared dumbfounded at the three hopeless failures who had transformed into fiercely motivated warriors in a single second. They could not decide whether to be exasperated or moved.
"Hey... It's good that you're motivated, but aren't your reasons a little too practical...?"
The corner of Megumin's mouth twitched.
"Enough talking! Move before that sparkly Mitsurugi steals all the monsters!"
Kōichi and the others charged up the massive northern wall of the Royal Capital.
The sight before them was enough to make an ordinary Adventurer's legs buckle.
The Demon King's Army surged forward like a black tide. Ferocious Beastmen roared as they battered the city gates, while gargoyles circled overhead.