Chapter 25 Part 2
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk...
"Sucks! Sucks! Sucks!!!" Naruko repeated to herself, monotonously, rhythmically thumping her forehead against the desk. A written test! Out of all possible options, a cursed Written Test!!! Who the hell even does something like that?!
Naruko's back broke out in a cold sweat, and her soul was frozen through. Uzumaki Naruko was not good at theory. No, not like that: she was frankly awful, atrociously, immeasurably BAD at theory. Speaking entirely frankly...
"Written tests suck," the blonde mumbled, crushed. The girl was so deeply immersed in her distress that she completely missed all the information Morino had given to the room. Others, however, had listened perfectly.
"This... is bad..." Sasuko muttered into her hands, throwing anxious and angry glances at Naruko's hunched figure simultaneously. The test rules were simply outrageous! And everything would've been fine, if not for the clause that if even one team member failed, the entire trio would flunk.
"It couldn't possibly be worse!" Sakurai was slowly sinking into despair. He, like the Uchiha, knew perfectly well how Naruko had studied at the Academy, and so entertained no illusions. "Naruko! Please, I'm begging you, I'm imploring you! Answer at least one question!!!"
"Begin!" The head interrogator gave the signal, and all examinees flipped over their question sheets almost in sync.
"Um... it's nothing! Nothing-nothing!" Naruko reassured herself. "I... I can handle this! Yes! Yes, I can! It's just some stupid test!"
A little cheered, she flipped over her sheet and looked at the questions. She read the first question, read the second... third, fourth...
The girl's eyes glazed over.
"I don't. Understand. Anything." The girl whispered, lost, running her eyes over the tasks. She! Completely! Understood! Nothing!!! Even just the text of some questions made her brain-cells tie themselves into knots!
"I'm screwed." Naruko concluded, dejected, thumping her forehead against the desk. Squirming, the girl unconsciously pulled out the amulet Kaoru had given her from a hidden pocket on her belt, squeezing it tightly in her palms.
"Believe in yourselves," he'd told them.
Believe in her own strength.
Believe.
Sniffling, Naruko straightened, resolute.
"I'll do it!" The girl ordered herself firmly. Blue eyes angrily locked onto the text on the paper, as if accepting a challenge.
"I see... That idiot finally noticed!" Sasuko thought to herself, with obvious relief, having already guessed the test's true nature. These questions were simply absurdly difficult and convoluted. It was downright impossible for genin to answer them correctly. Which meant the answers had to be found! That was the calculation. They had to obtain the correct answers without getting caught. After all, the announced rules hadn't been stated in that specific form for nothing: failing to score points, you fail. Caught cheating, you lose a point. That was the key to the test! Cheating! Thanks to her eyes, the Uchiha had already "latched onto" one of the examinees, perfectly copying their answers. She wasn't worried about Sakurai. As weak as he was, he still had brains. The only concern had been Naruko. But the Idiot had pleasantly surprised her, albeit after half the allotted time had passed, by also figuring out the subtext. Right now, Sasuko's worries were focused solely on the 10th question, which still hadn't been announced.
Although... Sasuko was mistaken about one thing.
"I'll answer everything myself! You'll see, you'll be stunned by my answers!!! Tebane!!!" Naruko raged, her pencil rustling with reactive speed... answering completely at random! In truth, she hadn't figured out a thing. Had Sasuko known this, she'd have been horrified by Uzumaki.
Naruko was so intensely focused that she once again missed all the drama unfolding around her. The tension in the room was rapidly escalating. The examiners mercilessly expelled those caught cheating, forcing everyone else to grow nervous. Growing nervous, they made mistakes. And making mistakes, they got caught. The ranks of examinees were swiftly thinning.
"Good! The time has come for the tenth question!" For many of those remaining, Morino's loud voice rang out completely unexpectedly.
"Tenth question?" Naruko blinked in surprise. "Tenth? Aaaaaaaaah!! I already answered it!!!"
The blonde was horrified: she'd gotten so carried away that she'd managed to scribble something into the answer field for the tenth question as well. Even more horrifying was what the examiner was saying. It turned out that the tenth question was the most important question in the entire test! And anyone failing to answer it would not only automatically fail the exam but would also permanently lose the chance to ever take it again in the future.
Such a declaration sparked a veritable storm of indignation among the ranks of examinees:
"Who would even use rules like that?!" the shinobi fumed. "Who agreed to this?!"
"Khe. Sorry, kiddies, but you're out of luck." Morino's mocking voice silenced everyone. "This year, at this stage, I set the rules!!! Your Villages can only accept it! Now, enough chatter! You can, or cannot, answer the tenth question! If you answer it, you pass. If not, you fail, and will never become chunin again. But. There is another option: you can quit now and try again next time. Perhaps you'll get lucky, and the examiner will be softer, and you'll pass. Right now, I'm giving you a choice: decide! Time starts now."
A ringing silence descended upon the room. The candidates were silent, crushed, throwing hunted glances around. Everyone was waiting: who would be the one? Who would surrender first???
And someone did.
"I... I give up..." The defeated whisper of a genin with a Leaf protector around his neck rustled through the air. Pale as death, he rose to his feet and unsteadily stepped away from his seat.
"Number 59, failed. Numbers 19 and 172, failed!" One of the examiners rattled off.
"Sorry, guys," 59 nearly sobbed.
"It's fine." 172 clapped his shoulder, reassuring.
"We'll try again next time." The girl, 19, shook her head gently. After which, the team left the room in funereal silence.
Stunned by the scene before them, the genin froze in indecision... and then the room erupted:
"I give up!"
"Damn you!... I quit!"
"Ugh... I give up!"
"I quit, I quit, I quit!..."
"Konoha's unjust!.."
"Bastards... I'll pass next time!.."
Morino Ikki smirked, bloodthirsty. The provocation had been a success. All it took was a little pressure, one example, and behold, the herd of herbivores stampeded to save their own skins. A pitiful sight, in her opinion. Trash like this didn't deserve to be shinobi. The sight of outraged foreigners leaving the room amused and delighted her, whereas Leaf candidates doing the same provoked only irritation and disappointment. At the very least, it was within her power to ensure that these ones would never become chunin! Cowardly and irresolute commanders like these were of no use to Konoha. This failure would be a black mark in their personal files.
Well now, yet another team was about to go down the drain. Who was it? Ah, yes. The jinchuriki, the Uchiha, and... what was his name again?.. Well, no matter. The main thing was, the blonde had already jumped up and was about to scream about cosmic injustice for the entire Academy to hear. Yes, there she went, already opening her mouth, filling her lungs with air, and—
"BRING IT ON!!!!" She hollered so loudly that the surrounding candidates actually ducked from the shock, and the failures trudging toward the exit nearly tripped. That... was unexpected. "To hell with everything! Ask your damn question, Scar-Hag!"
"Scar?..." Morino suddenly felt she was restraining herself from standing there with her mouth slightly open.
"...Hag?.."
"Pfffkhhh..." A strange noise swept through the ranks of the examiners, in which they were trying, by any means fair or foul, to disguise the snickers clawing their way out. Soon, the same sounds began coming from the seated area as well. But Morino needed only one sharp glare to make the examinees choke on their own air.
"You're that confident in yourself, squirt? You'll flunk and stay a genin forever." The examiner resumed applying pressure.
"Like hell I'm gonna run with my tail between my legs!!! I'm a shinobi, a kunoichi!!" Uzumaki roared back, slamming her palms on the desk from an excess of emotion. "Chunin?! Some stupid title won't stop me!! I'll reach my goals no matter what! Got it?! I am Uzumaki Naruko!!!"
It was an attack of desperate courage. Realizing what she'd done, having ruined the field for the tenth question, Naruko suddenly recalled a phrase her friend had dropped long ago: "The best defense is a good offense." She'd really liked that phrase back then, but afterward the words had somehow gotten lost in the flow of daily life. And now... she'd remembered. In accordance with the concept, she'd decided not to tremble awaiting the inevitable, but to literally charge headlong into danger.
And, seeing such recklessness, a warm spark of confidence kindled in many souls. It was utter foolishness, an unjustified risk, a mad gamble!.. But why not give it a try?!
The atmosphere in the room shifted radically.
"That girl... Just now everyone was trembling with fear, but the moment she yelled..." Morino crooked a grim smile, putting on the most terrifying expression she could manage. But now, it was simply ignored. "87 people... 29 teams. Unusually many. Looks like I can't squeeze out any more. Getting old, maybe?.."
"Very well, examinees. Your time for deliberation is up. All who remain in their seats... Congratulations. You have passed."
"Eh?!"
"What?!"
"H-how?!"
"EEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeh????!!!!"
Naruko collapsed back onto her bench, eyes blank. There was... no question? A test of resolve?.. They were supposed to cheat?! And she hadn't figured out a thing! But, trying to keep face, the girl put on a knowing look and nodded proudly with an expression that said: "exactly as planned!" Her teammates, however, had studied the blonde well enough to understand the true state of affairs.
"I was wrong... She's a hopeless idiot!" Sasuko lamented inwardly, pressing her hands to her face as if casually. She was ashamed! Ashamed that she'd naively believed this... idiot could independently figure out the test's essence! This was Naruko! Her brain only switched on during battle. The rest of the time, it preferred to lazily nap somewhere in a dark corner.
"Naruko... who exactly are you even trying to fool?" Sakurai complained inwardly.
"Uhhh! Dodged it, heh-heh!.." Already forgetting her fears, Naruko was simply happy. "It's huge luck that there's no tenth question! Otherwise, I already messed it up... heh-heh... YES! This is luck!!!"
Looking at the amulet she still clutched in her hands, Naruko giggled quietly, quickly touching it to her lips in secret. It seemed, even far away, He kept taking care of her.
"Alright, now then..." Morino, continuing her speech, was interrupted by the crash of breaking glass.
Something black flew in through the window, spraying shards in all directions. A sphere of dark fabric unfurled, suspended in the middle of the lectern thanks to the kunai embedded in the ceiling.
"Hey, you snot-nosed brats!!! Welcome to the Second Stage of the Exam!!! Clench your cheeks, 'cause I!..."
"HEY! THAT'S THE!.." Yamanaka wondered.
"FROM THE HOT SPRINGS!..." Haruno picked up.
"LONG-SCHLONGED DUDE!!!" Sakurai and Ino suddenly yelled in unison. They yelled, and froze through from their own words.
The silence became palpable. Shinobi exchanged puzzled glances, simply not knowing how to react. But then... timid snickers arose, and some kunoichi, curious, dropped their gazes toward the Second Stage examiner's crotch. The snickers grew louder, and the female ones were... meaningful.
"What d'you mean, 'long-schlonged prick'?! I'm Mitarashi Akon, you little bastards!!!" The reddened Akon howled in response.
"Mitarashi... Is there something about you I don't know?" Morino smirked crookedly, emerging from behind the sudden fabric curtain. "Haven't noticed such... proclivities in you before."
"Boss, who're you even listening to?!" Mitarashi fumed.
"He's even louder than Naruko..." Sasuko winced.
"Long???..." Naruko blinked, innocent. Then, suddenly, illumination struck, and the girl blushed deeply. "Eww! YUCK!! That's disgusting!"
"Grrhh... Alright, you snotlings!" The examiner exhaled, irritated. "Laugh while you can! Let's see how many of you are left by the end of the second test! I'm sure we won't get even half!" It sounded with an obvious threat, so the shinobi quickly quieted down. "What, already shat your pants? Right then, change your diapers and follow me! I'll lead you to the testing grounds."
"Whoaaaa! These trees are like the ones in Waterfall! But there's so many here!!!" Naruko admired, looking at the crowns rising beyond the high fence. The trees were simply titanic. You could hollow out several houses inside them! And that was just in width!!!
"Well then, allow me to present: Training Ground 44, also known as the 'Forest of Death'! And why it's called that, you'll soon learn firsthand!" Mitarashi cackled, malicious. "Let's just say, even deciding to take a dump under a bush, you risk croaking!"
"Crude foul-mouth," many shinobi thought, but, nevertheless, decided to take Mitarashi's words with full seriousness.
"Right, first things first, I want you to sign these!" The man shook a stack of sheets in his hand. "These are waivers: by signing, you officially agree to take the test. So if anyone suddenly kicks it, that'll be their own problem, no complaints. While you're signing, I'll announce the rules. What do you need to know? Training Ground 44 has 44 entrances, a lethal combo, right?!* The diameter of the territory is about 20 kilometers! The arena is covered in dense forest; a wide river runs through it, and in the center, equidistant from all gates, stands a tower. That tower is your final goal! Your teams will now be registered, after which each will be issued one of two scrolls, 'Heaven' or 'Earth.' The test objectives are extremely simple! First: survive on the training ground for 5 days! Second: obtain the pair to your scroll, so that by the end of the test, you hold both types in hand. Nothing else matters. Any techniques, weapons... everything is permitted! In the battle for scrolls, there are no rules: whether you steal it, take it by force... or pick it off a corpse. Like I said: at best, half will be admitted to the next stage. At. Best. During the test, a number of restrictions apply, and the main one: time! 120 hours, exactly 5 days. If within this time you fail to obtain the second scroll or fail to reach the tower with them, you fail."
"5 days?! But... But what are we supposed to eat?!" Among the rising murmur, the indignant voice of the young Akimichi clearly stood out.
"Not my problem!" Akon indifferently batted the objections away. "The forest is full of grub! But it's also full of predators, poisonous plants and insects, plus a whole other heap of cute little critters! So watch it, don't become dinner yourselves!"
The candidates murmured a little louder. Standing among this crowd, Team Seven exchanged meaningful glances. Now, none of them had any doubts: Kaoru had known! Or, at the very least, had guessed precisely what tests they'd have to endure. The group felt relief at the thought of having some food supply with them, sparing them time hunting in dangerous terrain.
"Koru-chan is soooo cool!" Naruko admired for the umpteenth time that day.
"But how could he have known???" Sakurai wondered, entirely sincerely.
"This guy... he really... isn't so simple," Sasuko reflected slowly. The further it went, the more she wanted to corner that slippery boy and shake out every last secret. No, Sasuko had known before that Nagisa was full of the most varied talents, but his perpetual frivolousness killed the whole impression at the root. And now, here he was again, throwing her food for thought. Though she couldn't say she was displeased. After all, thanks to that devious monk, their team had a serious advantage.
"Also, those who become separated from their comrades... or those whose comrades perish, will not be admitted to the next stage." Mitarashi continued the briefing. "So watch each other's backs, unless you want to fail because one of yours played dead for good. Ah, and lastly! Opening the scrolls, whether individually or together, is strictly forbidden! Break this rule, and you'll be disqualified immediately. That's all. First team, for scroll distribution!"
Everything thereafter proceeded orderly and swiftly. Teams approached one by one, disappearing behind the flap of a small tent, where they submitted their signed papers and received one of the scrolls in hand, after which, one of the examiners led them to their assigned entrance to the training ground.
A feeling of hostility and suspicion rapidly took hold of the tested shinobi. From this moment on, everyone around them was an enemy, and soon they would enter a territory freed from all rules and laws. Without a doubt, some wouldn't just try to obtain scrolls but would also attempt to reduce the number of future competitors. Likewise, those teams that lost their own scroll would attack anyone in sight to replenish their loss and advance further. And all this, not even counting the natural dangers of the "backyard" cultivated by Hashirako Senju. Although, the Konoha authorities, leveraging their status, gave a slight advantage to their compatriots: examiners had been ordered to issue Leaf shinobi scrolls of the same type, so as not to give teams cause for internal discord. At this stage, high mortality was already expected without additionally pitting their own teams against each other.
Standing before the gates leading into the Forest, Sasuko once again lamented not having taken a blade of some kind from the clan armory. It would've been very useful in the woods.
Sakurai was nervously tapping his finger against the pouch containing the "Heaven" scroll. The team had decided that he would carry the precious cargo.
Naruko was simply being Naruko, and so could barely contain her impatience. Though she, too, was a little nervous. Just a tiny bit.
"'The moment it starts, we'll crush them all!', I would've said," the blonde thought, lifting her gaze to the clouds. The mission would be extremely dangerous, and she fully realized it. The moment they entered the Forest, danger would be everywhere. Kaoru had sometimes told the girl about his expeditions, so she had a rough idea of how many dangers there truly were. Though she also knew several tricks that could make passing the test a little easier. And if there was one thing she was completely sure of, it was Kaoru. Which meant he'd already prepared everything necessary. She just needed to search through those scrolls he'd handed them. Just as surely, Naruko believed in her teammates: despite her arrogance, Sasuko was strong, and Sakurai had the best grades in their year. They were simply doomed to win!
"Weeell... how do we proceed?" She quietly asked her comrades. They exchanged glances.
"I suggest we break ahead and set up an ambush," Sasuko proposed.
"Agreed: on prepared ground, our chances are higher. If something happens, we can lie low and wait until opponents weaken from constant tension," Haruno contributed.
"Sounds good enough..."
"Time," the examiner threw out, short, turning the key in the lock. The genin focused to the utmost, awaiting the signal. The count was literally in seconds. "Second Stage... begin!"
The moment the gates swung open, Team Seven swiftly lunged forward, leaping onto the titanic tree branches.
The Second Stage had begun!
Notes:
For those who don't know: the number "4" in Japanese is homophonous with "shi"—death. Training Ground 44 has 44. The conclusions are easy to draw.
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Thanks for reading the chapter!
I started a new translation and I would be very happy if you decided to check out my new translation for a rather rare fandom. It's a crossover based on Mondaiji (Problem Children Are Coming from Another World, Aren't They?)
This story has a somewhat similar style to my other translation for this fandom (same author, after all), but it's completely different from any other fanfic I've come across for this fandom! It's set thousands of years before the original novel/anime, and the MC literally plays a part in shaping the backstory of this world. I really enjoyed it—hope you will too!
Mondaiji: I Really Didn't Want to Become God https://www.webnovel.com/book/36945944200410205