Fragments of stone splashed across the floor.
"Well? Pretty impressive, right? Tell me that doesn't beat half the stuff they gave the Power Rangers."
Iain was standing there with his mouth crooked in satisfaction, admiring his newly discovered "sorcerer-king power," when, in the very next instant, he saw the shattered pieces begin to rise from the ground and drift back toward the wall.
It was as if invisible strings were pulling them. The smaller fragments lifted first, slotting neatly into the broken seams, with the larger ones following behind.
The cracks faded from deep to faint, from faint to nothing.
Soon the stone's original pattern had knitted itself back together. Even the color at the breaks seemed to rewind. Within seconds, the statue on the wall had completely restored itself.
"Self-repair?"
That part, Iain definitely had not expected.
Still, it did not stop him from continuing to look profound. The boy calmly placed his hands behind his back, striking a pose that made it look as if he'd known all along this was going to happen.
"Wow!"
Ariana was a wonderful audience. Her mouth dropped open wide enough to fit a whole sports drink bottle, and the stunned look on her face was exactly the kind Iain loved best.
"Mr. Corpse, that was amazing! I've never seen anyone cast magic without a wand!" Ariana stood there frozen for a while before finally blurting out her heartfelt amazement.
She had seen her brothers cast with wands. She had seen her mother cast with a wand. But she had never seen anyone like Iain, who could use magic just by clenching a fist.
That went far beyond anything she thought possible.
"It's all right."
The more she praised him, the farther Iain's mouth twisted upward.
"Nothing special, nothing special. Third-best in the multiverse." He waved a hand modestly, though there was nothing modest in his eyes. "From now on, remember to call me Lord Sorcerer-King."
Seeing Ariana clap for him, Iain's grin only widened. The two of them dragged the unconscious blond young man through the corridor and back toward the burial chamber.
The blond man with accidental pigtails was still completely out cold. His heels scraped shallow lines into the stone floor, and the drag of his shoes echoed through the empty space.
"Mr. Corpse, I want to introduce you to my mother and my brother."
Ariana's voice floated back over the blond young man's shoulder.
Iain paused mid-step.
"So there's a mother-daughter succubus set?"
For some reason, he suddenly felt a surge of delight. "In that case... hey, my mind's got plenty of room. You should let your mother move into my head too sometime."
"No weird intentions, I just genuinely enjoy collecting succubi." To Iain, this was like finishing a card set in a fantasy game. If the matching cards weren't all there, he could never feel fully satisfied.
Ariana could only laugh helplessly.
"Mr. Corpse, you're saying strange things again." By now she was used to Iain's random nonsense. As far as she was concerned, he had just spent too long in this place.
"Strange? Fine, I admit that was a little strange." Iain gave an awkward chuckle, then lowered his head and glanced at his own dried-out body and fingers.
"But I'm a corpse. What bad intentions could a corpse possibly have?"
When they reached the opening, Iain was the first to toss the blond young man down into the tunnel.
A dull thud rose from below.
"Miss Succubus, remember this. It's called testing the depth with a stone." In his head, Iain did the math. One second of free fall. Roughly sixteen feet.
Not too deep.
"All right. Deep enough to be inconvenient, but not enough to kill a human. Definitely not enough to kill a succubus."
With the numbers settled, Iain felt reassured. This was why being good at math and physics made a man calm under pressure.
"Come on."
Ariana bent down and crawled in first. She moved like a snake, hips twisting, knees and elbows working together with perfect rhythm.
"Mm-hm."
Iain followed and jumped into the opening behind her. The wall below was smooth, not the texture of natural earth but something closer to polished stone.
To one side ran a pitch-black tunnel that stretched straight outward.
"This way."
Ariana led from the front, dragging the blond young man as she crawled, while Iain came up the rear, watching her with a trace of concern.
"Oh, right. No farting."
He felt the need to warn her. He did not enjoy breathing in other people's exhaust. He only enjoyed sealing up his own in plastic bags and tricking people into thinking there was something valuable inside.
"Huh?"
Ariana sounded helpless, but she still gave a small nod.
The crawl was rough going, and to pass the time the little wizard kept chatting.
"Your dad isn't going to beat me up when we get there, is he?"
Iain reached up and touched the top of his head. This body of his might not be blond, but a pale-haired zombie could still ride a ghostly motorcycle if necessary.
The question clearly hit a sore spot. Ariana crawled in silence for a while before answering in a subdued, sorrowful voice.
"My father went very far away on a long trip. Mother says he'll only come back once I'm better."
Her tone carried grief and guilt she could not quite hide.
Some things, even a girl like her could feel without anyone saying them aloud.
"Hm? That script sounds familiar." Iain clicked his tongue. "Your dad's definitely dead. Or your dad was actually a dark-skinned succubus."
"That's why you never saw him growing up." Iain had a bad habit of forgetting to coat his words in sugar, so when he spoke plainly, he spoke too plainly.
Ariana kept crawling ahead without turning around.
"Mr. Corpse, you really could stand to be a little more tactful."
She sighed, though some of her sadness had already been washed away.
At that, Iain flashed another crooked grin. "I've always preferred telling the truth, with only the occasional tiny lie mixed in. Don't worry, Miss Succubus. You're a believer in Lord Iain now. All you need to do is find your father's bones, and Lord Iain can bring him back so he can keep you company."
"In fact, Lord Iain even offers a Custom Dad Face Package. You can redesign your father from scratch. Trust me, internet reviewers would go wild for that."
"Your biological father could become a celebrity father overnight... I mean, Lord Iain really is a business genius."
To be honest, Iain had wanted for a while to test whether he could resurrect non-human creatures. Ariana's father might be the perfect candidate.
Ariana's crawling slowed for a moment.
"Mr. Corpse... can you really bring the dead back?" The first thing she did was believe him, so there was no suspicion in her voice, only wonder.
"It's not me that's amazing." Iain nodded first, then quickly corrected himself. "It's the great, merciful, kind, loving Lord Iain who can do that."
"He is the ruler of the Western Hemisphere. All-knowing. All-powerful." Iain was, naturally, still laying the praise on thick for himself, mostly because he believed that if Ariana truly accepted it, her illness might actually get better.
After all, magical beings ought to be deeply affected by belief. If you truly believed a mysterious higher power could heal you, then the magic inside your body should rise to the occasion.
That was one of Iain's core principles. In his own way, he really was trying to help the girl save herself.
"All right."
Ariana did not call him out.
She simply kept crawling ahead.
Before long, the two of them reached the end of the tunnel, to the place directly beneath what Ariana called home. There was a shaft leading upward there.
Beyond it, Iain could see a patch of dim light.
And yet, for some reason, when he focused his eyes and stared into that light, he still could not make out a thing.Send the next chapter when you're ready.