Planet with no name.
Two hours of walking. Two hours trudging through this alien jungle, the blue tiger slung over my shoulder. My new Primarch body felt zero fatigue, but basic logic still applied: I needed shelter. And I needed to prepare this meat before it spoiled. Even a demigod can get food poisoning.
While walking, I decide to learn more about what saved my life.
Bobby: "System, what exactly are you?"
Ding!
[I am the Universal Surprise Box System. I can give you one random surprise gift per day, sourced from any universe.]
Bobby: "So only once a day, no more? And what if I skip a day?"
Ding!
[In that case, you will accumulate bonus luck chances for the next opening.]
I stop walking. My brain processes the information at a speed that surprises even me. The intelligence of a Primarch, no doubt.
Bobby: "Ho! Now that's interesting. The more days I skip, the more luck I pile up for an incredible surprise box."
Ding!
[Yes and no. You could, after a long wait, obtain a Transformer... or a complete box of toothbrushes.]
I sigh. Deeply.
Bobby: "Crap. I'm screwed six ways from Sunday, holy shit. I could land an ultra-boosted surprise box just as easily as a box of crayons."
The system doesn't reply. It must be used to frustrated hosts.
I then decide something important. Something definitive. Bob Wilkinson is done. That name, that life, that empty shell I inhabited for 41 years... I don't want it anymore. I'm no longer that scrawny unemployed loser who listened to porn on his couch. I'm something else now. Something greater.
I am Vulkan.
With my prey still on my shoulder, I push deeper into the unknown jungle. And despite the danger, despite the total absurdity of my situation, I have to admit: this place is gorgeous.
The plant leaves glow with a soft fluorescence under the moonlight. The trees rise to prodigious heights, their trunks as wide as buildings. Luminescent spores float through the air like celestial fireflies. Every footstep stirs a gentle glow from the ground. It's unreal. It's splendid.
Vulkan: "Looks like Pandora, from that James Cameron movie... God, I hope not. I don't feel like taking an arrow in the ass from a giant blue dude."
I keep going until I stumble upon a hollow tree. Massive. The opening is big enough to fit a small apartment. I inspect the interior carefully. No visible hostile insects. No excessive moisture. The floor is dry, the thick bark will shield us from the wind.
Perfect shelter.
Vulkan: "No fire... Great. No problem. I've got the body of a being who transcends the average human."
I set the tiger carcass down and get to work. My hands move with a precision that isn't entirely my own. The muscle memory of Vulkan, the Primarch smith, flows through every gesture. I know what to do. How to do it. As if I'd done it a thousand times before.
First, gather natural kindling. I collect dry twigs, frayed bark, dead leaves. Next, choose an ignition method. No flint, no knife? No problem at all. I rub two pieces of wood together with superhuman speed and pressure. The friction generates intense heat within seconds. An ember is born. Then a flame.
Build the fire structure. Teepee style first, to let oxygen circulate. Then thicker branches in a pyramid. Safety precautions: I clear a perimeter around the fire, remove anything that could catch flame. No way I'm burning down this beautiful forest through negligence.
All done. The fire crackles merrily in the alien night.
Now, the meat.
I pry a claw from the blue tiger. Four centimeters of keratin, razor-sharp. A perfect makeshift knife. I handle the hide first, detaching it carefully. It can serve as a blanket or clothing. Then the organs, sorted and cleaned. Finally the meat, cut into portions.
Ten minutes later, a nice tiger haunch is roasting over the flames. The smell is... surprising. Spicy, almost. Nothing like supermarket chicken.
I lean back against the wall of the hollow tree, eyes turned toward the two moons dancing in the purple sky. The meat cooks gently. The fire warms my new body, though it hardly feels the cold. And for the first time since waking up in this alien hellhole...
I feel almost at peace.
Vulkan: "Alright... Tomorrow, I explore the area. And I open my first daily box. With my legendary luck, I'll probably get a pencil sharpener."
I laugh softly, alone under the unknown stars.
The adventure is just beginning.