The morning after the disastrous viva, when the heavy weight of failure still clung to my shoulders, my phone buzzed with a notification in the official college group chat. The professors had declared today an unexpected holiday, but right beneath that announcement came the news we had all been dreading: the official schedule and details for the final semester exams.
The exams were locked in for exactly fourteen days from now—just a fortnight away.
Looking at the sheer volume of syllabus we had to cover in such a short window was enough to make anyone panic. But instead of letting the lingering shame of the viva crush me, something inside me shifted. I couldn't change what happened under the professors' glaring stares. Dwelling on it wouldn't bring my voice back or rewrite my fumbled answers.
What's done is done. I have to look forward.
Taking a deep, shaky breath, I decided to treat the holiday as a clean slate. I pushed the miserable memory of the viva to the back of my mind, rolled up my sleeves, and threw myself into my books with a fierce, burning determination.
With the whole day stretching out ahead of me, I started fresh. I went through the lectures, memorized core concepts, practiced sample questions, and organized my own study notes with meticulous detail. It wasn't just studying anymore; it felt like a desperate crusade. I studied like there was no tomorrow, blocking out distractions, silencing my doubts, and tuning out the world entirely.
Hours bled into one another as I sat at my desk, completely possessed by the frantic need to succeed. I forgot about the clock, I forgot about the fatigue, and for better or worse. I completely forgot to listen to what my body was trying to tell me. All that mattered was the books, the notes, and surviving the storm that was rushing toward me.
The day after my marathon study session, my body felt heavy and thoroughly exhausted. Realizing I needed a breather before burnout completely took over, I decided to skip classes for the day. To my surprise, I wasn't the only one; a good number of students had stayed home as well, leading to several cancelled lectures. Everyone across the department was in the exact same frantic boat, buckling down for the final push.
For me, the situation wasn't entirely desperate as I had already covered most of the syllabus during my earlier prep. Now, it was all about meticulous revision, going over practice questions, and ironing out every minor detail so I wouldn't leave room for any careless mistakes.
After taking that day to rest and catch my breath, followed by another official holiday, I decided it was time to head back to campus. Because the crushing tension of the viva had lifted slightly, I didn't feel the need to rush out at the crack of dawn. I took my time, arriving just in time for the lecture.
When the professor walked in, they spent the period handing out valuable exam suggestions and quickly reviewing core concepts. Looking around the lecture hall, I noticed a lot of empty seats. More students had chosen to stay home, prompting the professors to make a practical announcement: given the low attendance as everyone scrambled to study for finals, they were going to postpone and cancel the remaining classes for the week.
A wave of quiet relief washed over me. With the official lectures cleared out, I figured I should make the most of my trip to campus before heading back into self-study mode.
Stopping by the library first, I gathered a final stack of reference notes and supplementary materials to take home, wanting to make sure I had every resource I could possibly need. Lost in the quiet focus of collecting books, I completely failed to keep track of the hours. When I finally glanced up at the clock, the afternoon was already slipping away, and my stomach let out a sharp reminder that I hadn't eaten.
Heading down to the campus canteen, I ran into a few familiar faces who were also taking a quick study break. We ended up grabbing some food and chatting casually for a while, sharing lighthearted complaints about the exam stress. Sitting there laughing and clearing our heads for a brief moment turned into a surprisingly warm memory amidst the cold panic of exam season like a quiet, comforting pause before diving back into the books.