They returned home, the three of them together. Seina was thankful for living in a place far from the village center and on the opposite side of where they had seen Orochimaru's summons. The house had withstood the invasion as if nothing had happened. They sat down on the couch, taking deep breaths. She wasn't particularly exhausted, but she did feel the mental fatigue of the last month.
"Why were you mad at Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked suddenly.
"What? Oh, that. Naruto, all the other senseis were there to watch their genin's fights. If he had come just an hour earlier, he could have seen us fight," she rolled her eyes, realizing it hadn't even crossed Naruto's mind since she was there to watch him.
"It's partly my fault," Sasuke replied. "The Chidori is a complex lightning technique. Instead of affecting the environment, it affects my arm. You saw my wounds after using it three times in one day. I asked him before coming if we could have a warm-up fight to use it for the first time yesterday."
She didn't feel like arguing, so she just responded with a kind of tired grunt. Kakashi-sensei was old enough to check the time and realize he was going to miss the fight of two of his genin. Besides, Naruto's fight hadn't been exactly at 8 in the morning. Couldn't they have woken up a bit earlier for that warm-up? Honestly, they seemed like mere excuses to her. If they had been attacked on the way or if Sasuke had gotten injured, she would have understood perfectly, but a warm-up? He could have refused.
Another part of her, the one that felt like an old person in a teenager's body, wondered why she was so hung up on the matter. Maybe because Kakashi-sensei didn't seem to realize why she was upset nor had he apologized to her and her brother. Basically, even if unconsciously, he had slighted them in favor of Sasuke. Perhaps it hurt so much because she had decided to trust him. Moreover, Kakashi-sensei had promised to earn her trust, so any slip-up felt like a mountain instead of a molehill.
"I'm going to take a long bath. If I don't come out in a few hours, don't worry, I haven't died."
She got up and left them on the couch. She prepared her bath with relaxing essences while she showered and washed off the grime of those two days. Squeaky clean, she got into the water and almost cried from the relief. She didn't know how long she stayed in the water, enchanted to always be at the optimal temperature, relaxing and working on her mental barriers.
"I hope they don't promote the emo before Naruto and you," Kurama said. "Then it would really feel like a slap in the face."
"Why do you say that?"
"Not only did he arrive late, which should have disqualified him, but he didn't finish his fight in the arena. He also didn't demonstrate better qualities than you or your brother in the written exams."
Just thinking about it made her angry. It would be Murphy's law, as always, if Sasuke got promoted and she didn't.
"And as for Kakashi… he messed up. Luckily, it wasn't anything serious. What do you plan to do about him?"
"I don't know. I suppose it will depend on the next time we see each other. All I want is for him to realize his mistake. If he waits for me to tell him what's wrong, it means he can't even put himself in my shoes, so trusting him might be a mistake. But then, how do I expect him to know what's going on if I don't tell him, if he can't see on his own where he went wrong?""A bit late to reconsider if you can trust him, isn't it?"
"Of course not. I have many ways to make him keep my secrets without killing or enslaving him."
"And people think I'm the dangerous one..." Kurama mocked. "Speaking of danger. Did you see that redheaded kid transformed into my brother? That's what I meant. Losing control due to my chakra."
"Luckily, it didn't happen while we were training."
"No. I imagine your powers and your experience helped. Fortunately, you've completed the first step of the training without problems."
Seina felt the magical barriers allow another person through and knew that Kakashi-sensei had returned. She closed her eyes, bid farewell to Kurama, and began meditating again to clear her mind.
Hours later, she came down from her room in pajamas. She hadn't even tied up her hair, as was her habit. She was so tired and somewhat fed up that she didn't have the energy to follow her usual routine. When she reached the living-dining room, she saw she wasn't the only one who had showered and changed. The only one who seemed alert was the jonin. Kakashi-sensei observed her silently for a few seconds, as if he wanted to say something, but he shook his head.
"Finally, we're all here."
"What's going on?"
"Nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were all okay," Kakashi-sensei said. "These last few days haven't been easy."
"Is it confirmed that it was Orochimaru?" It wouldn't surprise her if someone was pretending to be Orochimaru, pretending to be the Kazekage. These people were completely crazy.
"I'm afraid so. Not only did he kill the Third, but also the Fourth Kazekage. He used Sunagakure to invade Konoha."
"And what happens now with our alliance?" she asked.
"The advisors of the former Hokage and the jonin in charge of the various departments have taken temporary command until the new Hokage is chosen. They have decided to renew the alliance because Suna was being led by someone who wasn't their true leader to carry out this invasion, in exchange for certain compensations."
So Gaara and his siblings would likely be released.
"And what's going to happen with the team now?" Sasuke asked, getting to the point.
"They're still evaluating the candidates from the exam. We'll probably hear something in a few days. If any of you are promoted, you'll start doing missions with other members of Konoha, in addition to the team. If, for example, we're missing a member, another genin could be temporarily added until the next exam. Usually, genin teams work together for the rest of their lives except for some specific missions."
Seina created a couple of clones to make dinner while she internalized Kakashi-sensei's words. Had it only been seven months since they left the academy and the team was possibly on the verge of collapse?
Not long after, they had dinner before heading to bed, or so she intended.
"Seina, can I talk to you? Alone?" her sensei asked. Then he gave direct looks to her brother and Sasuke, who quickly left.
"What's up?"
"You're angry," Kakashi-sensei stated.
"That's not true," she finally said, after thinking about whether she was. She was disappointed.
Kakashi-sensei sighed. She saw how he seemed to shrink slightly into himself. Maybe she wasn't the only one who could read minds.
"I see."
"How did you realize?" she asked, crossing her arms.
"Someone reminded me how idiotic I can be sometimes. I'm sorry. I should have been there for Naruto and for you."
"And why weren't you?"
"I've been thinking about that for the past 24 hours. All I can tell you is that I knew Sasuke was in grave danger this past month, and training him was vital. When he asked to train one last time yesterday morning, I couldn't refuse."
She nodded. It was exactly what she had imagined, but still, they only needed to finish that stupid warm-up an hour earlier, and everything would have changed. Not to mention that Sasuke wasn't the only one in danger. She still remembered that look of hatred in Gaara's eyes as he decided whether to listen to her or kill everyone in the hospital. If it hadn't happened in the hospital, in Lee's room, maybe Guy-sensei wouldn't have intervened, whose presence ultimately dissuaded Gaara. Maybe Shikamaru and his brother would be dead if she hadn't been there at that precise moment to stop it with her powers and her words. She stopped thinking about it when she felt her heart race at the thought.
"Good night, Kakashi-sensei."
"Wait! Seina... aren't you going to say anything?"
"What do you want me to say? I can't help how I feel," she shrugged. "I know what happened with Sasuke was necessary, I'm glad he's alive and that you helped him, but that doesn't change the fact that he wasn't the only one under your care. Also, if it weren't for Guy-sensei, I might not be here talking to you. Orochimaru wasn't the only madman infiltrated in the village, you know?"
"What do you mean?" he asked seriously.
"Nothing important," she rolled her eyes. She didn't know why, but his concern now irritated her irrationally. "Good night."
The next day, Seina and her team had the day off. The higher-ranking ninjas were taking care of the aftermath of the invasion, while the genins, without their senseis available, had been ordered not to interfere or meddle. Basically, since there was no one to take care of them and ensure their safety, Seina didn't have to paint more civilian walls for the time being. Naruto decided to take advantage of the heat and spend the day at the pool, and Sasuke was convinced within minutes. Seina, however, wanted to see how the village had fared and which shops had disappeared.
She walked for hours around the village, leisurely, without even putting on the spell she usually used to walk around Konoha. Most of them had seen how she fought, so she imagined she wouldn't be attacked by any of them unless they had a death wish. Just as she thought, few people looked at her badly. Most even seemed surprised and guilty, as if they had realized two days ago that she was really just a normal girl, not a bloodthirsty demon. Some even seemed to admire her skills, according to what she overheard with her spying spell.
She entered a bookstore intending to buy a novel for her free time but, curiously, saw that the book dominating the shelves was another porn book. Icha Icha Violence, to be exact. She glanced at the red cover and shook her head. She picked up a couple of books on botany and zoology and left. She was engrossed in leafing through a complete encyclopedia of plants when she heard Iruka-sensei's voice getting closer.
"It doesn't surprise me, Kakashi. Apparently, Kurenai already told you, but you clearly don't understand."
"What don't I understand? I know I should have been there," he sighed. "I thought we'd have time to train one more time but, when I realized it, we were late. We almost didn't make it to his own fight."
"You have a problem with time management, that's clear. I knew it would catch up with you someday, luckily no one died," Iruka-sensei said, his tone irritated and somewhat resentful. "Regarding Naruto and Seina... There's a lot to talk about."
"I have time, Iruka. I'm not leaving until I understand everything."
"Alright, you asked for it. I've been thinking about it for many years, and I think I have a complete view of their situation. To start with, they lost their parents on the same day they were born. Not only that, they were turned into- you know, the same day. Shunned by everyone for something their own father had done. Then, they grew up in an orphanage where, apparently, they tried to kill them a couple of times and, according to what Naruto has let slip sometimes, it was common for Seina to give him part of her food and steal food from other kids so they wouldn't go hungry."
"...What?" his teacher asked in a choked whisper. Iruka-sensei ignored him.
"To top it off, the orphanage matrons had a clear hatred for both of them. Hatred they fostered in the other kids to the point that it was better to give a couple of five-year-olds an apartment and an allowance than to leave them in the orphanage. They lived alone for years, Kakashi. While the other kids didn't have to worry about anything, including Sasuke until his parents died, Naruto and Seina managed to survive on their own. They had no one to make them a simple bento. Who do you think was the only person cheering and congratulating Naruto when he had a fight at the academy or passed a written exam, and vice versa?"
She heard Kakashi-sensei seem to moan in pain and guilt as he listened to the piercing words of his academy teacher, but the chunin seemed to have been wound up. He didn't stop talking despite Kakashi-sensei clearly looking devastated, judging by what she heard.
"When they put them on your team, I feared for them. I knew how you were and thought you'd be incapable of having a competent relationship but, fortunately, I was wrong. I thought you'd act as you always do, but I saw how much they had grown in such a short time, and that you seemed like a real team. Somehow you gained the trust of Seina Uzumaki who, along with Sasuke Uchiha, must have been the most distant and distrustful, though mature, person in the academy."
"...And just when I needed to show that I'm there for them at a crucial moment in their ninja career, I'm late with Sasuke to both fights. Sasuke, whom I've been training alone for a month, leaving Naruto and Seina aside."
"Exactly. I think some might think there's favoritism on your team. After all, the other jonin sensei were there to see all the fights, and you didn't show up to any except for the genin you had personally trained."
She took out some conjured glasses from her pouch and applied the spell to see from afar and through matter. She saw how Kakashi-sensei, despite having his face practically fully covered, was pale and looked like he'd been stabbed. He dug his elbows into the table, covering his face as he realized why Seina was so disappointed and hurt. She put the glasses away and left.
"Well. At least now he understands."
"The truth is, I'm glad he asked Iruka-sensei. Now I feel better."
"His pain comforts you. Hmm..." said Kurama, sensing her feelings. "I suppose that ensures he'll think twice before doing it again."
"I want to find Tenzou-sensei. I'd like to continue our training."
"I highly doubt they'll let you remove the seal within the village. Especially now, when everyone is on high alert and sleeping with one eye open."
Seina sighed, realizing he was right. In the end, since she had nothing else to do in the village, she went home. When she arrived, Naruto and Sasuke were no longer in the pool but practicing genjutsu with Sasuke's sharingan.
"Are you back already?" Sasuke asked, deactivating his dojutsu. "How was the village?"
"Full of people going here and there, trying to get back to normal. A lot of people were rebuilding some semi-collapsed houses."
"Actually... now that I think about it, it wasn't a real invasion," Naruto thought aloud.
"Why do you say that?"
"I think you're confusing destruction with invasion," she cut in, knowing what he was going to say without even using their bond. "When you invade something, it's to take it over. Why would you want to invade a destroyed village?"
Naruto closed his mouth abruptly. Sasuke gave him a smack on the head while rolling his eyes. The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Kakashi-sensei didn't have dinner with them, but he did sleep in his room. Seina stared at the ceiling. Maybe she had been too harsh about everything, despite knowing that Kakashi-sensei had also been alone and had his own traumas. Maybe it was her inner psychologist that pushed her not to avoid her feelings and to make the jonin unable to bury his head in the sand like an ostrich, forcing him to face reality. Although, perhaps, Kakashi-sensei would have realized what was really happening if she had explained everything in detail…
That was a big problem for ninjas in this world. They had very tough jobs for the psyche but, at the same time, seemed to lack a psychologist to talk about their feelings or problems. Most displayed behaviors… let's say eccentric, which she was sure were the result of career-related traumas. For example, Kakashi-sensei himself had admitted to reading or pretending to read porn in public to create a distance from society. He preferred to be seen in a bad light rather than interact with people to avoid having to feel something outside what he considered normal and to have an excuse whenever he got tired of dealing with people.
As far as she knew, the only department that resembled a psychologist's office was the psychic evaluation department, and their function wasn't to serve as a psychologist but to evaluate if the ninja could return to active missions after some traumatic failed mission, in which the ninja had been tortured and/or had witnessed the torture of their companions. That's why she couldn't let what happened slide. She preferred to force it now, when it was a minor issue, rather than having to do it when the situation was extreme. Still, it was also her fault for not telling him why she was angry because it was clear that Kakashi-sensei wouldn't figure it out on his own if he hadn't understood it before, to begin with.
Just when she was falling asleep, feeling her heavy eyelids closing little by little, a small knock on the door woke her up abruptly. From the door's spells, she knew it was Kakashi-sensei, to her surprise. She opened the door before he could leave and looked at her teacher. He was wearing pajamas, like her, if thin sweatpants and a short-sleeved T-shirt, both black, could be considered pajamas. As expected, he was also wearing the face mask, but nothing else.
"Can we talk?"
She stepped aside, inviting him in, and then closed the door. She sat on the bed, and Kakashi-sensei sat on the cushions on the trunk at the foot of the bed. They stayed silent for a few minutes until, finally, the jonin lifted his head.
"I've been thinking about this whole situation. After our last talk, it was obvious I was missing something, so I had to… ask for help. I had a conversation with Iruka that opened my eyes," said Kakashi-sensei. "I've failed you as a jonin-sensei to your brother and you, but especially to you. I assured you I would earn your trust, but I've already messed up. All I can say is that I'm truly sorry."
"Mistakes are normal," she assured him calmly, "and so is asking for help. I just wanted you to understand why I felt this way. I guess it's also my fault for getting angry without telling you why I was angry. It just seemed so obvious that..."
"That you thought it wasn't necessary to detail it to me," the jonin nodded with a sigh, running a hand through his unruly hair. "The truth is… I've always had trouble connecting emotionally with others. When I was a child, I graduated from the academy very early, and that separated me from the other kids my age for a while. I was a genin, but at the same time, I didn't feel I belonged with the genins, nor with the academy kids who were still learning things I had learned years ago. Until your father came along and I became his apprentice. He was the only person, besides my father who had a similar childhood to mine, with whom I felt understood, but then..."
"Then?" she asked softly, seeing his sad face staring into nothingness.
"Then my father committed suicide. He saved a teammate's life instead of completing a mission. That failed mission triggered the third war. In the village, most shunned him for it. For a while, I even believed the villagers' insults and thought my father was scum for failing. With no one to support him, he ended up taking his own life. I found him. His death changed me, for the worse, actually. I thought that if my father had followed the protocol to the letter, he would have completed the mission, the war wouldn't have been triggered, and the village wouldn't have shunned him, so he wouldn't have committed suicide, leaving me alone. If you had met me then, you wouldn't have tolerated me."
She heard him laugh somewhat bitterly as he recalled himself. Seina couldn't bear it any longer and took his hand. Kakashi-sensei didn't reject her. He squeezed her hand and took a few seconds to catch his breath.
"After that, Rin and Obito came along, my teammates. Obito was the worst in the class and a clown. He was always late everywhere and was visibly in love with Rin. Rin was a good kunoichi, interested in medicine but, unfortunately for Obito, she didn't see him that way."
"Let me guess, she was more interested in you?" she asked, suppressing a laugh.
"Yes, even though I didn't pay her any attention back then. I was obsessed with the ninja code, so dating someone wasn't in my plans, much less my teammate. It would have been a blatant weakness. Even more so being inexperienced ninjas in the middle of the war. Besides, I didn't feel about Rin that way either."
"I imagine that must have been awful for Obito."
Kakashi-sensei smiled behind his mask, silently agreeing.
"He and I were like day and night. I was punctual, the top of my class, Rin's romantic interest, cold, distant, arrogant... Obito, however, was always late, the worst ninja of his class, just a friend to Rin, but he was also warm, kind, and humble despite being an Uchiha."
"Was he related to Sasuke?"
"Yes, but even within his clan, he wasn't well-regarded. The Uchiha have always been the opposite of what he represented, and worse yet, Obito didn't activate the sharingan before becoming a chunin. Basically, to some, he was a total disappointment." Kakashi-sensei sighed, and a silence fell as he remembered past memories. "When I became a jonin, Minato-sensei left me in charge of my team for a key task for Konoha in the war. In that mission, I lost my left eye, and Rin was kidnapped. I intended to complete the mission first and then rescue Rin, but Obito convinced me otherwise. He said that those who abandon a mission are scum, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum… He was right."
>> "We rescued Rin, but it wasn't easy. In that battle, Obito saved my life by pushing me out of the way of a rock jutsu, but he ended up half-buried under it. Neither Rin nor I could save him. Before he died, Obito gave me his eye with the sharingan, which he had finally activated. Shortly after, Rin was kidnapped again. Kirigakure intended to use her to destroy Konoha by sealing a bijuu in her and releasing it once she arrived at the village. Rin discovered the plan and asked me to kill her, but I refused. In the confrontation with Kirigakure, I used the chidori to kill one of their anbu, but Rin jumped in front of me. When we won the war, I didn't know what to do with my life and joined the anbu, where I stayed for a long time, unable to face reality."
She couldn't help a sound of surprise as she realized that Kakashi-sensei had unwillingly killed his teammate months after losing his other teammate violently. She was slowly completing the puzzle that represented her master. A prodigy child who felt different and was treated differently from other kids, one who didn't really fit anywhere. A teacher capable of understanding him who ultimately ended up dying protecting the same village that shunned his father, driving him to suicide. A team that had died as collateral damage of a war many attributed to his father just for being a good person. Not to mention the disconnection and danger he must have faced being in the anbu.
"You tried to die," she finally told him, and Kakashi-sensei remained still. Eventually, he nodded slowly. "How could Rin do that to you? Why force you to kill her, knowing what that would mean for you? She could have slit her own throat. She could have jumped into another fight to have someone else execute her."
She felt filled with anger at the cowardice and lack of empathy of Kakashi-sensei's teammate.
"..."
"You had never thought about that, had you? I'm sure that all this time, to some extent, you've been blaming yourself for her death because it was your jutsu that killed her. And the anbu… the anbu was the best suicide attempt option for you: high probability of dying fighting for your country. Oh, Kakashi-sensei… people are so stupid… How can they believe those rumors about you?"
"Sometimes I can't follow your reasoning," the jonin confessed to her. "What do you mean?"
"Most people only see your book and that you're late, they know you're a good ninja, but they don't look beyond that. But look at you. The people drove your father to suicide, and yet, you're not resentful toward them, even though I would understand if you were. You survived the traumatic death of Obito, who you eventually befriended and whom you remember every time you think about your left eye, and Rin's death, who instead of having the courage to commit suicide for the village in another way, preferred to use you to die, even though it meant destroying you emotionally after all you had already suffered."
>> "Yet, even though Kirigakure was the instigator of all this, and you know it, you didn't show hatred towards Zabuza, who was a ninja from Kirigakure. You joined the anbu instead of committing suicide like your father because you're stronger than him. Despite your suicidal behavior leading you to accept being an anbu, your desire to protect the village was enough to give your best in every mission. I'm sure you thought you would only die if you had to, and not a second before. You counted on the high danger of the missions being enough to kill you, to sacrifice yourself for this country, because you knew you wouldn't take your life with your own hands."
>> "And your attitude. Being late, the book, your eccentric jokes… all those are ways to distance and protect yourself from people, but at the same time, they are memories of Obito, aren't they? The ninja who was always late, whom everyone looked down on and thought was weird because he wasn't the typical Uchiha. The boy who gave his life for you, who accepted you when no one else, except our parents, had."
"..."
Kakashi-sensei seemed unable to say anything in response to her words. He was still, as if petrified, staring at her with his one eye widened in surprise. Then, another thought came to her mind.
"Did you ask the Hokage to put Naruto and me on your team?"
"...Not exactly. I told him I couldn't be the jonin-sensei of a team with one of you, knowing that the other sibling was under another jonin."
"I figured. Not only can you train Sasuke, an Uchiha, due to your knowledge of the sharingan, but also have on the same team both children of your former sensei. It was a clever manipulation by the Hokage to finally get you to accept a genin team. Probably because he wanted to distance you from the anbu. He took quite a risk. Our presence could have made you distance yourself, leaving us behind, or the opposite could have happened."
"And do you think he succeeded?"
"Do you think he succeeded?" she laughed. "Of course, he did. Haven't you seen our performance as genin in the last seven or eight months? We are the best compared to the other teams. Not only that, you've been able to open up to us, treating us like a family."
"Until—"
"That was just a small mistake," she cut him off. "Kakashi-sensei, I forgive you, and I'm sorry for being so hard on you."
"You don't need to apologize. I needed it."
"Then we're even."
"Seina... do you really believe everything you said about me?"
"That you're stronger than your father? That people are idiots and don't truly appreciate your worth? That it wasn't your fault for Obito's or Rin's death? Yes, Kakashi-sensei. I already told you once: I'm glad you're our jonin-sensei. I could deduce something from our work as a team, but now that I know all this, I know that everything I've said is true. Honestly, I'm surprised that, despite everything, you haven't given up and aren't a psychopath like some people. You're a good person. I admire you."
Kakashi-sensei's face was an encrypted poem. Before she could start deciphering it, she found herself in the jonin's arms. She didn't hear him cry nor did he shake against her, but she would swear she felt a timid tear fall on her head. She closed her eyes, realizing that she had missed him despite not having ignored or physically distanced themselves. It was as if everything was returning to normal. However, this hug was much closer than the previous one. Now there was no vest against her face but a thin cotton T-shirt covering his chest, and his hands were no longer protected by gloves but bare.
She didn't know how long she was pressed against his chest, but this time she did her best not to fall asleep and miss a single second. One hand stroked her hair, and she had to stifle a sigh of pleasure, feeling his other hand open on her back. Unable to help herself, she wrapped her arms around him too, burying her face completely in his chest.
"I should let you sleep," he murmured, but he didn't let her go.
Seina knew it. She knew she could do nothing but let him go because, although mentally and emotionally she was an adult, physically she was not. After all the talks she had had with her master, it was obvious that Kakashi-sensei was aware of that. So, not wanting to ruin everything, she slowly pulled away, and he let her go. Even before she could say anything else, Kakashi-sensei wished her goodnight and left, as if staying a second longer would be enough to change his mind. She fell asleep with a smile on her lips.