先天元年八月,长安.
长安的秋天比往年来得早.
八月,中南山的风吹过长安,带来桂花的甜香和难以言喻的寒意.宫城里的槐树叶大多落尽,金色的叶片铺在青石板上,踩上去发出沙沙的声响.这是他离开洛阳后回到长安的第一个秋天,也是他即将登基为帝的秋天.
朝廷的消息层层传来.先是说陛下病了,已经连续三天没有开庭.接着又说陛下召见了太平公主,在书房里与她谈了一下午.而且,太平公主出来时,脸色凝重,手上念珠转得飞快.最后,诏令下达了.
王位将传给太子.陛下将退位为太上皇,隐居于太极宫.
消息传到东宫时,我正在牙科诊室磨牙.长安诊室依旧如故,沈月守卫着,清媛则随我回到了长安.月宫桂花形灯,是从洛阳带来的,依然挂在原位,烛光摇曳不定.清媛从外面冲进来,脸色苍白如纸,结结巴巴地说:"三妃——陛下要退位——"
我手中的研杵突然僵在了半空中."什么?"
"诏令刚刚在朝廷颁布.陛下说——说他身体不好,要把皇位传给太子."青媛的声音颤抖着,"三夫人,殿下要称帝了."
我站在窗边,望着窗外的槐树.他曾说过"很快",果然很快了.但我却高兴不起来,因为我知道这次退位并非出于自愿,而是太平公主逼迫的.在睿宗统治的两年间,太平公主的势力迅速壮大,朝廷的一半都落入了她的掌控.睿宗再也无法坚持,最终选择退位,并推李隆基上前挡住了太平公主的刀.
他黄昏时分到达.
天色渐暗,长安城的灯火一盏盏亮起.他站在门口,身着太子朝服——黑色上衣,红色下裙,腰间系着金玉腰带,头戴远行冠冕.他的神情凝重,并非愤怒,而是带着某种更深沉,更沉重的情绪.
"殿下——"
"青岩."他走了进来,在检查床上坐下."陪我坐一会儿."
我什么也没说,只是坐在他身旁.窗外,风吹动着槐树叶,沙沙作响,一片片落到窗台上.
"Today at court, Father issued the edict," his voice was calm. "Passing the throne to me. From tomorrow on, I am Emperor."
"Is Your Highness not happy?"
"Happy?" He looked at me. "Qingyan, do you know why Father is abdicating?"
"I do."
"Forced by Princess Taiping." His voice was cold. "She has planted so many people in the court; Father cannot move against her. So he retreated. Throwing the mess onto me."
He leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes.
"Qingyan, do you know, today at court, the look in Father's eyes when he looked at me—it wasn't happiness. It was—guilt. Like a child who has done something wrong."
I reached out and took his hand. His fingers were very cold.
"Your Highness."
"Hmm?"
"Are you afraid?"
He was silent for a moment. "Afraid. Not of Princess Taiping, but afraid—afraid I cannot protect the people I want to protect."
He opened his eyes and looked at me.
"Qingyan, will you always be by my side?"
"I will."
He smiled. That smile was light, faint, but his eyes were bright.
The Taiji Palace
Three days after the edict was issued, he still hadn't gone to see Ruizong. Not because he didn't want to, but because he didn't know what to say. I could tell. Every day he came to the clinic, sat for a while, checked his teeth, and left. No speaking, no smiling, just sitting. On the evening of the third day, an old eunuch came to the Eastern Palace with a message: The Retired Emperor wished to see Doctor Gu.
I paused. "See me?"
"Yes. The Retired Emperor said, please ask Doctor Gu to come to the Taiji Palace."
I changed clothes and followed the eunuch out of the Eastern Palace. The Taiji Palace was on the west side of the Chang'an palace city, the retirement place for the Retired Emperor. Walking in, I felt as if I had entered another world. None of the Eastern Palace's bustle, none of the coming and going officials, none of the hurried eunuchs. Only silence. A deep, heavy silence. Osmanthus trees were planted in the courtyard, golden and in full bloom. But no one watched them. Several old eunuchs stood under the corridor, hands hanging, heads bowed, like a few withered old trees.
The eunuch led me to the door of a warm pavilion. "Retired Emperor, Doctor Gu has arrived."
"Come in."
The voice was very aged. Completely different from the gentle middle-aged man at the New Year's Eve palace banquet.
I pushed the door open. The pavilion was heated by charcoal fire, very warm. Yet Ruizong was wrapped in a thick cotton robe, huddled in a chair like an old man afraid of the cold. He had lost weight. Much thinner than on New Year's Eve; his cheekbones protruded, his eye sockets were sunken, and his hair was entirely white. Before him lay a Go board; black and white stones were scattered, the game unfinished.
"Sit." He pointed to the chair opposite.
I sat down. He looked at me, his gaze very gentle. Exactly like at the New Year's Eve banquet.
"Gu Qingyan."
"This subject is here."
"Do you know why I summoned you?"
"This subject does not know."
He smiled. That smile was faint, weary, like someone who had walked a long way and could finally sit down to rest. "I wanted to see what kind of person Longji chose."
He didn't say "Crown Prince," didn't say "Emperor." He said "Longji." Like a father speaking of his son.
"I am old." He leaned back in the chair, looking at the osmanthus outside the window. "Not old in body, but old in heart. I have been Emperor for two years; every day was filled with arguments. Arguing with Taiping, arguing with courtiers, arguing with myself. I am tired."
He lowered his head, looking at that Go board.
"I never wanted to be Emperor. Never. Taiping pushed me onto the throne. She said, 'Big Brother is dead; you are Emperor.' I said, 'I don't want to.' She said, 'You must.'"
He raised his head and looked at me.
"Do you know what kind of person Taiping is?"
"This subject knows."
"You do not." He shook his head. "She is my younger sister. Mother's most beloved daughter. The smartest woman in this world. And also the most terrifying."
He picked up a white stone and placed it on the board.
"I have abdicated. Not because I don't want to be Emperor, but because—I can no longer hold the line. Longji is stronger than me. He dares to kill, dares to stage a coup, dares to seize the throne from piles of corpses. I dare not. In my entire life, the thing I have dared least is killing."
He looked at me, his gaze suddenly changing. Not a gentle light, but another kind—scrutiny. Like someone who has walked in darkness for a long time and suddenly sees light, but isn't sure if it's light or fire.
"Gu Qingyan."
"This subject is here."
"What kind of person are you?"
I paused. "This subject is from Changzhou—"
"I am not asking about your native place." He interrupted me, his voice very soft. "I am asking you—what kind of person are you?"
The pavilion was extremely quiet. Agarwood smoke drifted from the burner, curling and intertwining. The scent of osmanthus from outside wafted in bursts, mixing with the agarwood smoke, so thick it couldn't be dissolved.
"This subject—does not know what Your Majesty is asking."
"You do know." He looked at me. "From the first day you arrived by Longji's side, I knew. A woman from Changzhou, who can examine teeth, perform autopsies, and make bones speak. Your eyes have seen things I have not."
My heart beat heavily.
"I have seen many people." He leaned back in the chair, his gaze becoming distant. "Seen Wu Zetian, seen Empress Wei, seen Taiping. They were all smart people. But you are different from them. Your intelligence is not the intelligence of this world."
He reached out, pointing to the Go board on the table.
"I have played Go for forty years. Black stones, white stones, wins and losses, I have seen them all. But your style of play, I have never seen. Every move you make is not on the board."
I looked at him, unable to speak. His gaze was gentle, not fear, not disgust, but another kind—relief. Like someone who has walked in darkness for a long time and finally sees light. He wasn't afraid of that light. He just wanted to look at it one more time before leaving.
"Gu Qingyan."
"This subject is here."
"Are you afraid of me?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because Your Majesty is a good person."
He paused. Then he smiled. That smile was light, faint, but his eyes were bright. "A good person? I have been Emperor for two years; how many people have I killed, how many demoted, how many dismissed? Am I a good person?"
"Those Your Majesty killed deserved it. Those demoted deserved it. Those dismissed deserved it." I looked at him. "Your Majesty is not a 'good person,' but neither is he a bad person. A bad person would not summon a strange woman to play Go before abdicating."
He looked at me for a long time. So long I thought he would order me out. Then he smiled. That smile was exactly like the one at the New Year's Eve banquet. Gentle, faint, like the winter sun—not warm, but bright.
"Gu Qingyan, you have helped Longji greatly."
"This subject merely did their duty."
"Duty?" He smiled. "Making Li Chengqi withdraw voluntarily was duty? Making teeth speak was duty? Making Pei Sheng kneel in the court was duty?"
I fell silent.
He stood up and walked to the window. The osmanthus outside swayed gently in the wind, golden, tiny flower by tiny flower, like scattered gold dust sprinkled among green leaves. He reached out, broke off a small branch of osmanthus, and held it to his nose to smell.
"Gu Qingyan, I do not know where you come from. I do not know what methods you use. I do not know how much you know. But I know one thing."
He turned around and looked at me.
"You are Longji's life."
His voice was very light, but every word was heavy.
"This child Longji has had a bitter fate since childhood." He looked at the osmanthus in his hand. "Lost his mother at eight, grew up alone in the palace. No one accompanied him, no one trusted him, no one loved him. He learned to carry everything alone. He thought he didn't need anyone."
He looked at me, his gaze very serious.
"Until you came."
He returned to the chair and sat down again. That branch of osmanthus was placed beside the Go board, golden petals falling among the black and white stones.
"If I retreat this step, she will have to reveal her hand," he suddenly said, his voice calm, as if speaking of something ordinary. "If Longji holds steady, he will win."
I paused. He was speaking of Go. And also of the court. His abdication meant Princess Taiping would have to show all her cards. As long as Li Longji held steady, he would win. He didn't abdicate just because he was tired. He was using abdication to force Taiping to show her hand. A man who had played Go for forty years wouldn't admit defeat just because he was tired.
"Your Majesty—"
"I have retreated." He looked at me. "But I am not admitting defeat. I am—unable to walk further. Let Longji walk the remaining path. He will walk it better than I."
He lowered his head, looking at the Go board.
"Gu Qingyan, I have one matter to entrust to you."
"Your Majesty—"
"I am old. I can no longer protect him." He raised his head and looked at me. "Taiping will not let him go. She is my sister; I know her. She will not admit defeat. She will not yield. She will fight until Longji dies, or until she herself dies."
He looked at me for a long time. The scent of osmanthus wafted in bursts from outside; agarwood smoke curled between the two of us.
"Gu Qingyan."
"This subject is here."
"I entrust him to you."
He looked at the osmanthus outside the window, silent for a long time. The pavilion was so quiet one could hear the faint sound of agarwood burning, the sound of osmanthus petals falling on the stone steps outside. Then he turned his head back to look at me.
"Gu Qingyan, thank you for letting him know—he is not alone."
His voice was very light. So light it seemed meant only for himself. But every word landed in my ears, landed in my heart. I stood up and bowed deeply to him.
"This subject—accepts the order."
He smiled. Picked up a white stone and placed it on the board.
"Play this game of Go with me to the end."
The Game
I did not know how to play Go. But he didn't care. He placed stones one by one; I followed one by one. He played very slowly, thinking for a long time before each move. Not thinking about the game, but about other things.
"Gu Qingyan."
"This subject is here."
"Do you know why I summoned you?"
"Your Majesty has already said."
"No." He looked at me. "I summoned you not just to say those words. I summoned you to see—what kind of person is the one Longji loves."
I paused.
"My son, I know him." He smiled. "The way he looks at you is different from how he looks at others. When he looks at others, he is the Crown Prince. When he looks at you, he is Longji."
He placed a black stone.
"Gu Qingyan, I am relieved."
窗外,月亮从云层后探出头来,照耀着桂花,金色的花瓣仿佛散落的金子.他看着我,目光温柔极了.
"去吧.他一定在焦急地等着呢."
返回
走出太极宫时,天色已暗.长安城的灯火一一亮起,从宫城到东宫,从东宫到崇仁区.他站在门前,身披宽大的斗篷,月光洒在他身上.
"殿下为何前来?"
"等你."他走过来,把斗篷披在我肩上."父亲跟你说了什么?"
我凝视着他的眼睛.月光下,他的眼睛格外明亮.就像他第一次来诊所时那样明亮.就像每个月光下的夜晚,他送我回家时那样明亮.
他说——他松了一口气.
他停顿了一下,然后笑了.那笑容很淡,很浅,但他的眼神却很明亮.他伸出手,握住了我的手.
"我们走吧,回家."
他走在我左边,斗篷在风中微微飘动.月光将我们的影子推到一起,融为一体.
"青岩."
"唔?"
"父亲还说了什么?"
"他说——"我握紧了他的手."他说你并不孤单."
他沉默了一会儿.风吹过,桂花花瓣飘落在他的肩上.他没有拂去.
"嗯,"他说,"我不是一个人."
（第十八章完）