"Igor's here."
"I'm just making my rounds."
"We've been guarding Blackrock Spire all day. Haven't moved an inch. Here, Igor, have a cigar—the finest Dark Iron blend."
"Good man. I'll go easy on you today."
Igor might have been hopeless at plenty of things, but when it came to freeloading, shaking people down, and grabbing anything that wasn't nailed down, he was a natural. The moment they entered, he rushed from corpse to corpse, trying to loot every piece of trash they killed.
Trash was one thing.
If he tried that on a boss corpse, though, somebody was going to make sure he regretted it.
"He ran with Nightlord's group once and immediately picked up bad habits. We can't encourage this."
Gabryell could already imagine what had happened. Without anyone keeping Igor under control, he had probably fought for the right to loot everything in sight, bosses included.
"Igor, when the boss dies, stay away from the corpse."
Pyroguard Emberseer was already getting low, so Gabryell decided to warn him before temptation struck.
"I'm looting this one," Smooch said. "If he tries to steal it, I'll shoot his balls off."
For the sake of future generations, Igor immediately behaved himself.
"I thought Luna was supposed to loot?" Hugo asked.
Smooch turned toward Lunatori. "Luna, you said I could have this one, right?"
"Yeah."
Hugo was confused. "Why?"
Luna answered quietly, "She promised she'd stop trying to tame me as a pet if I let her loot this boss."
The entire group fell silent.
Being a Druid around a Hunter was apparently dangerous for reasons Blizzard had never intended.
Emberseer wasn't much trouble for them anymore, and the fire elemental soon went down.
Smooch immediately rushed toward the corpse, only to find Igor standing suspiciously close to it.
"Igor, back up! Come on, move. Don't contaminate the loot with your bad luck."
Igor's dignity took a direct hit.
Then again, dignity was temporary.
Keeping his balls intact was forever.
He obediently stepped away.
Smooch nodded approvingly. Maybe she'd even buy him dinner at the cafeteria later.
Wildfire Cape (Rare)
Binds when picked up
Back
43 Armor
+20 Fire Resistance
Requires Level 56
Coldhands stared at it.
"That's it? I was hoping for Mage gear."
Hugo looked at Smooch. "See? We should've let Luna loot. No stats, no damage, just Fire Resistance."
Smooch's confidence immediately wavered.
Even she thought the cloak looked underwhelming.
"It's good."
Gabryell saw things differently.
Aside from Truestrike Shoulders, Wildfire Cape was one of the best useful drops Emberseer could give them right now.
"Smooch's loot luck was fine this time. We start Molten Core progression next week, and twenty Fire Resistance on a cloak is excellent for building an FR set for the tanks."
Smooch brightened instantly.
"Haha! See? I knew I wasn't unlucky."
"Carlos, Nightlord, roll for it."
Nightlord passed without hesitation.
"Give it to Carlos. He's the main tank."
That was the sensible choice.
Carlos's Fire Resistance would matter a great deal once Fearless entered Molten Core. Susie, as their primary off-tank, would need a proper resistance set as well. The raid was full of fire-heavy trash and encounters where having tanks prepared for elemental damage could make progression much smoother.
"Everyone remember the quest item."
Gabryell made sure nobody forgot the Eye of the Emberseer.
One by one, everyone who needed it looted the eye.
"That's what you get for trying to burn us after we freed you."
There was something satisfying about taking the eye of an elemental that had thanked them for releasing it by immediately trying to kill them.
"Are we heading back now?" Carlos asked after receiving the cloak.
Gabryell shook his head.
"No. We went through all that trouble fishing for Jed. We're not leaving without killing him."
"Exactly," Coldhands said immediately.
He was still painfully jealous of OldSeven's Briarwood Reed.
"Be careful going through the Rookery," Gabryell reminded everyone. "Don't step on the eggs."
They weren't doing the Solakar Flamewreath event this time.
Triggering Father Flame and dealing with the waves in the Rookery would take too long. If they were going to spend that much extra time in UBRS, they might as well keep moving and kill Rend instead.
Everyone had already experienced a full UBRS clear, so Gabryell didn't need to explain the route again.
Once they reached the upper level, the entire raid automatically hugged the wall and carefully avoided the dragon eggs.
They cleared the trash along the route first.
Only then did they pull Jed.
"Should we let Luna loot this one?" Hugo asked.
After Igor's disastrous loot luck in Stratholme, he had become a firm believer in Lunatori's lucky hand.
Luna immediately protected herself.
"Let Smooch do it."
Smooch smiled triumphantly.
Jed didn't last long against ten players.
Coldhands stared at the corpse.
"If there's no Briarwood Reed in there, your luck is officially cursed."
There were two Mages, a Priest, and a Druid in the raid who could all make good use of Briarwood Reed.
Four people wanted it.
Failing to see one now would hurt.
Smooch remained completely confident.
"I'll loot it. You should worry about whether you can win the roll."
Apparently Alanna's Embrace had convinced her that she was now one of the guild's blessed loot hands.
The loot window opened.
Serpentine Skuller (Rare)
Binds when picked up
Ranged
Wand
53–100 Shadow Damage
Speed 1.40
(54.6 damage per second)
+10 Shadow Resistance
Durability 65 / 65
Requires Level 51
There was a brief silence.
Confidence really was dangerous.
Coldhands was the first to crack.
"Smooch, you owe me a Briarwood Reed."
He already had Stormrager, so a wand with nothing but Shadow Resistance wasn't remotely exciting to him.
Gabryell wasn't any happier.
They had reset UBRS repeatedly just to get an instance with Jed, and this was what they got.
Serpentine Skuller had respectable raw wand damage, but that was about it. A Shadow Priest or Warlock would get more useful offensive value from something like Skul's Ghastly Touch, while Bonecreeper Stylus was a much stronger general caster option.
"Smooch, Luna loots next time."
He should've stuck with the proven lucky hand.
Luna had been the one who pulled their previous Briarwood Reed.
Changing the system had clearly angered the loot gods.
Smooch knew she had no defense this time.
"All right..."
Her career as the party's designated looter had ended almost as quickly as it began.
Carlos looked ahead.
"Are we continuing?"
"I'll ask David."
Gabryell sent him a whisper.
A short while later, he got a reply.
Gabryell stared at the message.
"You've got to be kidding me."
Everyone looked over.
"What?"
"David's group got Jed too. They're fighting him right now."
That was irritating enough.
So they waited.
A little while later, another whisper arrived.
Gabryell read it once.
Then again.
His blood pressure immediately went up.
He looked at the group.
"David's group got Briarwood Reed."
Coldhands froze.
Gabryell finished the sentence.
"Desert won it."
"Are you serious?!"
Coldhands looked personally betrayed by the universe.
"If I'd known, I would've swapped places with Desert before we came in!"
Smooch became noticeably quieter.
After this, she probably wasn't going to volunteer to loot another boss corpse anytime soon.
"David's group isn't continuing," Gabryell said. "We're done too. Let's go turn in the quest."
DeathScum was the only person in Gabryell's group who still had a real reason to care about Dal'Rend's Arms, and even he wasn't desperate for it.
He already had Dragon's Call, and once he picked up something like a Krol Blade, his weapons would be more than good enough for the time being.
No reason to chase every possible upgrade in one run.
Gabryell opened a portal back to Ironforge.
From there, they followed the now-familiar route to Azshara and returned to Duke Hydraxis's island.
Gabryell handed over the Eye of the Emberseer.
Hydraxis seemed satisfied.
"You have proven yourself capable. Perhaps it is time for a true test."
He spoke of the passage beneath Blackrock Depths that led into the Molten Core, stronghold of the Waterlords' enemies and home to some of the most powerful servants of fire in Azeroth.
The next task was The Molten Core.
To complete it, they would have to enter the raid and kill a Firelord, Molten Giant, Ancient Core Hound, and Lava Surger, then return to Duke Hydraxis.
That meant the Hydraxian quest chain had reached the point where further progress would have to wait for Molten Core itself.
"For now, everyone's free," Gabryell told the raid. "Run dungeons, farm gear, work on professions—whatever you still need. Molten Core progression starts next Tuesday."
He planned to complete The Molten Core naturally during their first progression night.
With twenty guild members already progressing the Hydraxian chain together, they had more than enough redundancy. If a few people couldn't attend on a particular night, the entire raid wouldn't be held hostage later by a shortage of players who had done the necessary preparation.
And Gabryell had no intention of limiting the chain to the core raid.
Anyone in Fearless who seriously wanted to raid Molten Core should work through it.
When the guild eventually formed its second and third raid teams, members who had already completed the Hydraxian dousing chain would receive priority.
Not because Fearless desperately needed more people capable of dousing runes.
Because doing the preparation without being chased showed that they took progression seriously.