Chapter Six, Unpredictable
The next morning, after breakfast of the soup Aunt May had made the day before, I decided it was time to grace the local school with my presence. Besides it being my obligation as a student, I had another motive — there was a good chance that this Spider-Woman had gotten her abilities on that ill-fated field trip I'd missed, which meant she might be going to my school, or even be in my class.
I missed the school bus by a comfortable margin, so I was already planning to walk, but I hadn't made it ten meters from the house when a car pulled up beside me.
Oh no. I know that sports car. Flash goddamn Thompson. I instinctively turned away to avoid provoking the bully… a conditioned reflex, for crying out loud.
No, no, no — I didn't go through all the crap that happened in my past life just to be afraid of Flash Thompson again. Don't even think about it, you meathead. This means war.
— Hey, Peter, — a girl's voice came from the car, — missed the bus again? I can give you a lift.
I froze. Right, of course — Peter's memories of his life had come back to me, but why hadn't I remembered this? This world is insane. Flash Thompson is a woman. Seeing her in person now, I was starting to remember: this Flash, while she had the same brash and cutting personality as her counterpart in my world, had never once shown any aggression toward Peter.
In fact, every time she saw Peter trudging to school, Flash would stop and give him a ride. Nonsensical! Flash Thompson trying to be friendly with Peter Parker. It was bizarre to me, but it was a fact.
I got in the car and, to my own embarrassment, felt a wave of relief that there wouldn't be a confrontation.
— Skipped another half a month, — the girl said cheerfully, with even a trace of envy or admiration, and without waiting for an answer continued, — don't take it the wrong way, I'm not judging you. What were you up to this time? Come up with some cool new science thing?
She had a good read on the old Peter, I noticed with some surprise. She'd immediately tried to steer the conversation toward an interesting topic — because otherwise I… well, would have tuned her out. Not that Flash had ever minded — if she couldn't get Peter talking, she never took offense and simply kept chatting on her own.
— Finishing up an old paper, — I answered, leaving it at that.
Flash definitely couldn't be Spider-Woman, at least — different build. Yesterday I'd gotten a good look at that show-off. She had to be roughly my height and build; Flash was much stockier, especially in the chest.
And who else among my classmates had switched genders?
The thought was strange, even shocking. But I couldn't remember… I hadn't noticed at first, but the memories of this life were coming back to me as needed: in the morning, when I'd arrived home, I'd remembered myself; when I'd met Aunt May, I'd remembered the family; now I'd seen Flash and remembered again…
At school Flash lost interest in me — she ran into her girlfriends, or rather her henchwomen. I was only glad. The last thing I wanted was to trail around everywhere after Flash Thompson, even if she'd become a girl and acquired a pretty face and an impressive figure.
— Parker, — someone called to me at the classroom door.
I turned toward the sound. Behind me stood a tall woman in a strict business suit and glasses. Yukka Sarasti — the physics teacher, who had joined the school not long ago. Having gotten my attention, she continued:
— Come with me, Parker, the principal wants to see you, — and not only did the woman have an authoritative voice that made you want to comply without objection, she also took me by the forearm to escort me.
I remembered that Yukka had always been like this. Even other teachers and the principal rarely dared to disagree with her, and she was probably the only woman who showed no special deference to boys — and to me in particular.
Raising an eyebrow, I first looked at the hand that had invaded my personal space, then met her eyes. What next, are you going to grab me by the collar? But the woman was not fazed.
I had my backpack on that shoulder, which I used to free myself from Yukka's grip — I slid the strap right onto her wrist.
— That's unnecessary. I can find the principal's office on my own.
Sarasti didn't respond — she simply watched calmly as I stepped into the still nearly empty classroom and left my bag. She did end up walking to the principal's office with me all the same, staying a step behind like a guard, but didn't come inside. She just stood there watching, as if she expected me to make a run for it.
The principal was a good-natured, heavyset woman in her early fifties. She had personally trained half the teachers now working at this school and always found common ground with her students. I had never seen her raise her voice at anyone.
— Peter, — usually the principal always smiled faintly when she addressed me, but this time she was pointedly serious, — I understand that the school curriculum doesn't interest you, but you can't disappear from classes for weeks at a time. This isn't an open-attendance institution — we are responsible for our students. What if something had happened to you?
It's worth explaining why the school tolerated Peter's constant absences at all. It came down to prestige. While boys were required to receive a general education, in practice most of them showed no interest in studying. Everything they needed to get a good footing in life had already been arranged for them by nature — it had given them a penis. That might sound crude, but looking at it honestly, that was how it was. Against the backdrop of widespread idleness of that kind, Peter Parker, for all his laziness and apathy, was a favorable contrast. He periodically participated in scientific activities, and that brought the school prestige.
I smirked. If only you knew what I'd been through this past week. I'd come dangerously close to ending up at a police station, and that would have been bad for everyone — for the school, which had ignored a student's prolonged absence, and for Aunt May, who by law, as my legal guardian, was supposed to be living in the same house as me.
— I don't think you need to worry about that, Principal. I'm considering finishing school as an external student. You see, in the course of working on my research I came into close contact with Doctor Connors' work. I'm thinking it would be convenient to take a job as her laboratory assistant — that way I could also attend classes at the university… or even enroll there directly. I haven't decided yet.
As I spoke, the principal's good-natured expression shifted first to surprise, then traces of displeasure began to show.
— Peter… — she began carefully, — that's a serious decision, you shouldn't make it so hastily. Think about it — school isn't just lessons. It's also time with people your own age…
The principal always had a good sense of her conversation partner's mood, and even before finishing the sentence she realized she'd chosen the wrong direction:
— But you know, since your research is so important to you… I think we could find a compromise… besides, you understand that early examination — it's quite a bureaucratic process, it would stretch out for a long time.
— What do you mean by a compromise? — I asked, interested.
— Well, Doctor Connors is a respectable woman, I don't think she'd allow anything to happen to you at work… and as for the school, as long as you don't vanish for months at a time, we could overlook the occasional absence or two per week…
I raised an eyebrow.
— Or three or four… just don't disappear for as long as you did last time, — the woman relented in the end.
— I think that'll work for me.
— Wonderful, — the principal replied with a professional smile, — go back to class.
And that was that. The school would get its dividends — for another two years, any achievements of mine would reflect positively on the institution's prestige — and I got free attendance with minimal problems and obligations.
It was unexpected but useful. Because even though I hadn't planned it in advance, I hadn't said a false word. I really was planning to get in touch with Connors soon — and conveniently, I had a pretext: her work with my father.
Just as I was approaching the physics classroom I saw her. Mary Jane Watson. For a moment I lost my breath, exactly as at the moment of our first meeting — no, she seemed even more beautiful than I remembered. Worlds change, but some things stay the same.
MJ turned around, as if she felt my steady gaze, and smiled when our eyes met.
— Hey, Peter, — she said lightly, — haven't seen you in a while.
— Um, yeah… I was working, — I stumbled.
What is wrong with you?! Pull yourself together! Yes, it's Mary Jane, so what? You're long past sixteen — you were even briefly married, until the Trisolaran crisis tore your life apart.
— Hi, Mary Jane, — I said, collecting myself, — just finished a research project.
She almost kept a straight face, but her eyes gave away surprise. Over all that time, the occasions when the old Peter had said anything to Mary Jane beyond "yeah" or "uh-huh" in response to her greetings could be counted on one hand. Damn — this guy was apparently immune to love and the influence of hormones on the brain.
— It must have been something incredibly complicated and important, — the girl assumed, — by the way, you missed a pretty interesting field trip — lots of different spiders, I think you would have liked it.
Why did she bring that up?
And come to think of it, Mary Jane had the same build as Spider-Woman. She couldn't possibly… but using the ability just for fame in show business… damn, that was so like Mary Jane.
— Yeah, I heard about that. So how did the trip go? — I'll try to ask her about it casually.
— Fine. Almost nothing went wrong, — Mary Jane shrugged.
— Almost? — I caught the slip.
— Well, you know, Liz is afraid of insects, and Flash got bored of the spiders quickly… turns out she'd brought a toy spider on a string and dropped it down the back of Liz's collar… there was a huge scream, but it was funny.
— Is that so, — right, that was it — Flash was conspicuously friendly toward Peter, but she still teased and sometimes even humiliated the girls, — nobody got bitten? — I asked with a smile at the end, as if joking.
— Ha, no, — MJ laughed, — shall we go in?
— Yes, yes, of course.
After all, Mary Jane might not have noticed if someone got bitten by a spider — or simply decided not to tell me about it.
The physics classroom was already full of people, and my arrival, contrary to my concerns, didn't attract any general attention.
I thought it would be nice if MJ and I sat together — we could keep talking during the lesson — but my memories suggested the girl would head over to her friends. In general, there were no other boys in the classroom yet, and I felt a certain awkwardness looking over the dozen or so unfamiliar girls — all of them had been guys in my past world.
— Ugh, — Mary Jane suddenly groaned, — there's that stupid test this morning… I don't understand physics at all.
This is an opportunity. I need to use it.
— I could help you along, — I offered carefully, — sit next to me.
— But the teacher… — MJ started, — though with Sarasti it might work — she doesn't care about anyone. Peter, would you really do that for me?
— Sure, why not, — I answered calmly, inwardly rejoicing.
The moment I thought about sitting next to MJ, the universe handed me the chance. Not bad, not bad — maybe this was compensation for past failures.
— Osborn, — Flash's voice reached me. The girl hopped off the desk she'd been sitting on and walked toward the door.
I went cold inside, afraid to turn around. What if Harry had become a girl too? Or worse — what if Harry Osborn was Spider-Woman… no, please, no.
Steeling myself, I finally looked back — just in time to see Flash Thompson give Harry Osborn a brief kiss on the lips.
What the hell! This is too much! Just how insane can this world get?!