The journey to the nearest town (which, according to a rickety wooden sign, was named 'Melromarc') was pure torture. Not because the terrain was rough, but because I had to walk side-by-side with a noise-pollution source in the form of a goddess.
"Huwaaaa! My legs hurt! Kenji, carry me! I'm a Goddess, you know! It's undignified for a Goddess to walk on dirty ground like this!"
"If you're a Goddess, why don't you just hover? Or turn this grass into a red carpet?" I said without looking back, my eyes busy scanning the surroundings.
I was occupied analyzing material potential. The clay on the side of this road looked perfect for bricks. The timber in the forest to the left seemed solid enough for roof framing. This world was a catalog of free materials that hadn't been touched by corporate logic yet.
"That... that takes too much mana! And I don't want to get this holy gown dirty!" Eris whined, yanking the hem of my shirt.
[Notification: You allowed a goddess to suffer mild physical exhaustion. +10 EP!]
This system really understands how true capitalism works, I thought with satisfaction. Free points just for being indifferent.
Finally, the gates of Melromarc came into view. The walls were made of haphazardly stacked river stones. The doors were thick wood that looked like they were rotting at the base. The security? Two guards engrossed in a game of chess at the post, not even glancing up as we entered.
"What kind of infrastructure is this?" I muttered, feeling insulted as an engineer. "The Demon King could walk in here just by knocking politely."
"City! A city! Finally!" Eris dashed past me, her physical exhaustion miraculously vanishing at the sight of civilization. "Come on, Kenji! We have to go to the Adventurer's Guild! I'll register as an Archpriest and you'll be my... umm... luggage carrier!"
I followed her into the city. The streets were unpaved, full of horse manure, and the urban planning was a chaotic mess. A bakery sat right next to a blacksmith's forge; air and noise pollution blended into one. It was a zoning nightmare.
We arrived in front of a large two-story building labeled 'ADVENTURER'S GUILD.' It was made of dark wood, looking sturdy but ancient. Loud laughter and the clinking of beer mugs echoed from inside.
"Finally! Where a hero's journey begins!" Eris pushed the large double doors open dramatically.
We stepped in. The room was vast, filled with long tables occupied by people in armor, robes, and... visible issues. There was a bar in the left corner and a task board covered in papers on the right.
Eris walked toward the receptionist with a forced, graceful stride. Behind the desk stood a beautiful blonde woman in a guild uniform.
"Welcome to the Adventurer's Guild! How can I help you?" the woman greeted with a friendly smile.
"Yes!" Eris puffed out her chest, which was... well, modest. "I, Eris, the Goddess sent from heaven, wish to register as the greatest adventurer in this world! And this is my servant, Kenji."
The receptionist blinked. "Umm... alright. My name is Luna. To register, you both must pay an administrative fee of 1,000 Gold per person, then touch this crystal ball to see your status."
"F-fee?" Eris's face went pale instantly. She turned to me with a pleading look. "K-Kenji... my hero... you have money, right?"
"Money? You wish," I replied flatly. "I just died. There aren't any ATMs in the afterlife."
"DAMMIT! YOU BROKE BRAT! Why did I have to be brought by a hero with zero capital!" Eris collapsed onto the floor, crying hysterically, drawing the attention of everyone in the Guild.
A burly adventurer with a large axe on his back approached, laughing mockingly. "Oi, Pretty Lady. If you don't have money, don't dream of being an adventurer. Just go home and be a barmaid; that suits you better."
I sighed. Time to get to work.
I didn't look at the adventurer. My eyes were fixed on the building's ceiling. The timber frames looked blackened in several spots. Near the bar, there was a large fireplace with flames burning way too close to a pile of firewood. And worst of all...
"Luna-san," I called out, my voice suddenly turning ice-cold and professional. I stepped toward the reception desk, ignoring Eris who was still sobbing on the floor.
"Y-yes?" Luna looked confused by the shift in my atmosphere.
I pulled out a steel ruler that the system had somehow provided as part of my starter pack. I tapped the ruler against Luna's desk.
"As an Independent Building Safety Inspector, I am seeing serious violations in this establishment," I said.
Instantly, the laughter in the Guild died down.
"Violations? What do you mean, Young Man?" A middle-aged, stout man (likely the Guild Manager) stepped out from the back room.
I pointed to the ceiling. "The wooden frames up there have started to rot and mold. The dead-load capacity has decreased by 30%. If there's a big celebration and everyone jumps at once, this roof will collapse and separate your heads from your bodies."
I then pointed to the fireplace. "That! Firewood stacked less than a meter from an open flame source. That violates international fire safety standards (which I just made up in my head). One stray spark, and this place becomes a giant grill in five minutes. And where is the emergency exit? I only see one entrance. If a fire breaks out, you'll all crush each other at the door and die pathetically from asphyxiation."
The Guild fell into total silence. Several adventurers began looking up at the ceiling anxiously.
The Guild Manager broke into a cold sweat. "B-but... we've had this building for twenty years and there's never been an issue..."
"That's luck, not engineering," I countered cynically. My face shifted, my corporate sociopath persona was out. "Based on Melromarc Urban Regulation No. 1 (which I will submit to the Mayor tomorrow, after I blackmail him), this building must be seized and closed to the public for endangering lives."
"S-Seized?! You can't! This is the hub of the adventurer economy!" the Manager shouted.
[Notification: You triggered mass fear of structural collapse. +300 EP!]
[Notification: You blackmailed a public institution (Guild). +500 EP!]
Enough points for phase one.
I smiled, a smile that made Eris stop crying on the floor out of sheer terror of me.
"Of course," I said, my tone softening but remaining threatening, "as a good consultant, I have a solution. My company, 'Kirasaki Development,' can perform emergency renovations and provide instant safety certification."
"H-how much will it cost?" the Manager asked, defeated.
"Normally, 50,000 Gold. But since I'm feeling generous," I glanced at Eris and Luna, "I'll give you a discount. It's free."
"Eh? Really?!" Luna and the Manager beamed.
"In exchange," I continued, "I want free registration for myself and this Sobbing Goddess. Also, 20% of all quest commissions taken by adventurers in this Guild for the next month must be deposited to me as a 'Safety Infrastructure Maintenance Fee'."
The Guild erupted in chaos again.
"20%?! That's extortion!" the ax-wielding adventurer yelled.
I glared at him. "Or would you rather die being crushed by a roof while you're drunk? The choice is yours. Safety... or 20% of your pocket change."
Silence returned. In this world full of monsters, death was common, but dying pathetically by being flattened by your own Guild's roof was a disgrace.
The Guild Manager let out a long sigh, his shoulders sagging. "Fine. Deal reached. Luna, register them."
I smiled triumphantly. I walked toward the crystal ball and placed my hand on it.
[Status Analysis...]
Name: Kenji
Job: Evil Construction Agent (Level 2)
Strength: Low
Intelligence: Very High
Luck: Above Average
Charisma (Manipulation only): Extreme
Special Skills: Forensic Audit, Regulatory Blackmail, Drainage Design.
"Tch, Low Strength. Whatever, I have labor for that," I muttered.
Now it was Eris's turn. She walked to the crystal arrogantly, as if she had just saved the world instead of embarrassing herself.
The crystal ball glowed brightly, much brighter than when I touched it.
[Status Analysis...]
Name: Eris
Job: Archpriest (Level 1)
Strength: High
Intelligence: Very Low (Bottomed out)
Luck: Very Low (Negative)
Mana: Infinite
Special Skills: Water Magic, Purification, Party Tricks.
Luna's eyes went wide. "W-wow! Her stats are incredible! Except for Intelligence and Luck... but her Mana is nonsensical! You can become an Archpriest immediately!"
"Hahaha! Look at that, Kenji! I'm amazing! I'm the best Archpriest this Guild has ever seen!" Eris laughed boastfully, doing a weird little victory dance.
I stared at her coldly. Infinite Mana? That means...
"Hey, Burden Goddess," I called out.
"What is it, my servant? Ready to worship me now?"
"Your intelligence is low, so I don't expect much from you regarding blueprints. But you have infinite mana for water magic, right?"
"Of course! I can create as much water as I want!"
I smirked evilly. "Perfect. System, open the shop."
[Opening Shop...]
Current Evil Points: 810 EP
Available Blueprint: Simple Water Turbine (Price: 500 EP)
"Buy Water Turbine Blueprint."
[Purchase Successful. Water Turbine Blueprint downloaded to your brain.]
I patted Eris on the shoulder. "Oi, trash goddess, your registration is paid for. Now it's time to work. We're going to the river outside town. You're going to be the primary power source for my first machine."
"Eh? Machine? Power source? What do you mean? I'm a Goddess! I don't want to work in a river!"
"Shut up and come on. Otherwise, I'll audit your goddess citizenship status and report you as an illegal immigrant to the kingdom."
"HUWAAAA! KENJI IS CRUEL! I WANT TO GO HOME!"
I dragged Eris out of the Guild, ignoring the confused stares of the adventurers. I had points, I had free labor (a goddess), and I had a blueprint. This world was about to experience an industrial revolution, whether they were ready for it or not.
The Demon King? He better start worrying about his electricity bill.