One Week Later…
"This is all your fault!" Rat frantically shouted as he vaulted over a concrete road block mid-sprint.
Behind him, a horde of Ethereals was hot on his heels, the closest ones only having a gap of a few meters. Each one looked like the unholy union between a spider, a bomb, and a neon light bulb. The large holes in their circular bodies showed either bright green or pink light emanating from a black hole that served as their core, and they had a tendency to jump at any living being they spotted and explode. New Eridu locals called them Blastcrawlers.
Rat called them bullshit.
"Oh, don't you dare pull that crap with me! If anything, you're the one who came up with the idea of trying to convert one of them in the first place!"
Shockingly, this reply came from a small girl keeping pace with him. She looked almost identical to him, from the color of her hair, skin, and eyes, all the way down to the Squirrel Thiren features. Even her clothing was a perfect replica of his! The only aspects that set her apart was that her red and white hair was much longer, hanging flowing down to her waist in wavy curls, and the more girly voice she screamed at her apparent twin with.
"Yeah, well you're the girl here! It's your job to – TURN!"
Rat's retort was interrupted by them coming to the end of the street they were fleeing down, where a wall of buildings blocked their way forward and the only options were left and right. Following an instinct he knew was reliable, both he and the girl grabbed each other's hand. When their grips were tight as iron, Rat lashed out with his free left arm and wrapped his fingers around a crooked lamp post. The sudden cease in forward momentum, paired with the girl's reaction of jumping and using him to swing around to face the left road, allowed them to make a quick turn without losing their momentum. Sure, it almost pulled Rat's arms out of their sockets, but that was a small price to pay for survival.
A few explosions from behind them were proof that while they hadn't lost all of the Blastcrawlers, a few of them had taken their momentary pause as the perfect opportunity to jump and blow themselves up. It was only about three out of a horde of thirty-something, but any reduction was good progress.
Catching back up to the girl, Rat continued where he left off. "As I was saying: It's your job to make sure I don't do the stupid shit my dumb boy brain comes up with!"
If they hadn't been running for their lives, she would've reached out to slap the back of his head. "I am literally the same person as you, and only three days old! Also, contrary to what some people may think, having a vagina doesn't automatically make me smarter!"
This…was Ratte. As could probably be guessed from her conversation with Rat, she was a clone summoned via the Squirrel Dealer card.
Over the last seven days, Rat had been sure to use his single Green Mana at every opportunity. Only being able to use one card per day may have been extremely annoying, but wasting what few resources he had would be plain stupid. As a result, he'd used Ravenous Squirrel and Squirrel Sanctuary on the second and third days to get his numbers up.
~
Ravenous Squirrel (1 Black/Green){Uncommon}
1/1 Squirrel
Whenever you sacrifice an artifact or creature, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
{1 Colorless}{1 Black}{1 Green}, Sacrifice an artifact or creature: You gain 1 life.
Squirrel Sanctuary (1 Green){Uncommon}
Enchantment
When Squirrel Sanctuary is cast, create a 1/1 Green Squirrel
Whenever a nontoken creature you control dies, you may pay {1 Colorless}. If you do, return Squirrel Sanctuary to your library.
~
With those manifested, his squirrel count had been raised to three. Unfortunately, the two new residents of the forest in his Pocket Squirrel Dimension weren't as sentient as Aegis. They could follow directions to the letter without problems. but their capacity for thoughts higher than basic survival could best be described as absent. The Ravenous Squirrel even ate twice as much as the other two, but that wasn't much of a problem with how big the forest presumably was and how much natural food was available.
Rat proceeded to repeatedly reuse the Chatter of the Squirrel sorcery for three days after that, as he was in need of more manpower (squirrelpower?) to gather food for himself. It was no surprise that the Hollow converting all organic matter included anything edible, so he had his squirrels gather whatever nuts, berries, fruits, and roots they could twice a day for breakfast and dinner, skipping lunch altogether. There was more with each rodent added to his growing army, so eventually he came to a conundrum of whether or not it was smart to summon another Squirrel Dealer.
In the end, he couldn't see a reason not to, and concluded that the old saying of two heads being better than one was the right advice to follow. Unfortunately, he failed to realize that the saying didn't account for when both 'heads' belonged to the same idiot. The hivemind aspect made it so Ratte's mind was an exact copy of his the moment he pumped Mana into the card. This also came with a psychic link that connected them at all times, making sure they each knew what the other did; but, this link could be adjusted so they could also technically be their own separate people.
With her being only around three days old at this particular point in time, there wasn't enough of a difference between them mentally for her to know that trying to use one of their two "Half-Squirrel Half-" cards on an Ethereal that was stronger than them was a bad idea until it was too late. In theory, it should've been possible with the Ethereals that were literally the weakest of the weak, but their state of fleeing said otherwise. Added to the fact that Aegis was only five minutes into an hour long cooldown, and you have a recipe for disaster.
The only silver lining that could be seen so far was that the Ether left behind when the Blastcrawlers exploded was equal to half a day of passive absorption. Including the three that died on the corner, the total fatalities added up to seven, which brought him to ten and a half days of Ether for creating cards. That is…if they made it out of this chase alive.
"Fissure! Dead ahead!" Ratte shouted, bringing Rat's focus back to their current predicament.
Of course, all that could be seen in the distance was a semi truck that had been flipped over onto its side, the wheels of both it and its trailer facing in them. This vehicle was also blocking both the road and sidewalk around it, leaving only the choices of somehow climbing over it or turning around, neither of which was an option at the moment. The duo ignored the fact that they were being cornered in a dead end, though, instead running just a bit faster.
You see, one of the things Rat had discovered in his week of running and hiding was that he had some sort of instinct when it came to navigation. It wouldn't tell him how to get out of the Hollow, but wanting to go to just about any other vague destination would result in some sort of internal GPS activating and giving him on-the-fly wordless instructions.
Yesterday's loud DING from the [Tips] app confirmed it.
Being named Ratatoskr by an Omniversal Primordial Deity may result in extra abilities, skills, and traits. Perfect Navigation: As long as you are in or have been to the same dimension as your target, you will always know where to go and how to get there. Mental adjustments can be made for speed and danger level.
Their current 'Destination' was defined as "somewhere safe from these monsters," so when their instincts told them to sprint toward the truck they threw caution to the wind and barreled toward it without a second thought. Just as it looked like they were going to smash face first into a wall of metal, they made contact with a fissure that transported them away.
Fissures were basically portals that added another layer of confusion to the labyrinthine nature of Hollows. They could lead to literally anywhere within the Hollow's bubble of twisted space, and sometimes to other Hollows through the parent/companion Hollow connections. Either way, whatever was on the other side had to be better than the dead end.
Both Squirrel Thirens immediately started to rethink that traitorous thought when they were met by a minefield upon getting spit out on the other side of the fissure. What appeared to have once been a large children's playground was now a dilapidated and bombed out wreck covered in motion-sensing mines. How did they know they were motion activated?
Oh, just the fact that one of them was triggered the moment they appeared. As could be expected, this prompted them to continue running for their lives, dodging through and around the multitude of plastic and metal structures, and setting off dozens of the mines as they went.
In an odd twist of fate, the Blastcrawlers that followed them through the fissure were the ones taking all the damage when the bombs started to detonate. One or two of the explosive devices normally wouldn't be enough to take them out, but the parade of them going off by the dozen was able to end the lives of sixteen of them, reducing the pursuing Ethereals to eleven. Still enough to be a threat, but not as big of a threat as they had been a few minutes ago.
Rapidly closing in on the edge of the playground, the two kids focused intently on a bench that somehow still remained upright despite the state of its surroundings. In perfect synchronization, they dived forward with their tails straightened and arms stretched toward the small gap beneath the seat. And just as their instincts had claimed, they soared straight through another spatial fissure with hopes that the cramped space would be enough to keep the Ethereals from following…even though their guts told them it was temporary at best.
This time, their hasty plunge through the portal to them being ejected from a window on the twentieth floor of a crumbling office building. A quick look down also revealed that said building was one of the structures floating in the sky, making the drop much further than it should've been. And to top it all off: there was an active battle being fought between even more Ethereals of multiple types and what looked like a squad of soldiers.
Upon closer look, it was clear that the people were decked out from head to toe in full black and grey military armor with yellow highlights. There were six altogether that could be seen from as high up as the adolescent Thirens were, with some of them holding rifles that they were sparingly firing at the creatures so as not to waste armor. Two were in the thick of it and swinging futuristic blades that cut through the Ethereals like paper, but that wasn't much of an accomplishment with the sheer number assaulting their position. The last was up in the gunner seat of the military vehicle they were surrounding, a sniper rifle in his hands as he did his best to pick off the more powerful enemies in the crowd.
"HOW THE FUCK IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE SAFER?" Ratte screamed in rage over the rushing wind. "ARE OUR INSTINCTS BUSTED OR SOMETHING?"
"LESS COMPLAINING, MORE THINKING!" Rat called back, his mind rushing to think of the next steps for their escape.
It was when they were halfway to the ground and planning their next escape strategy when the Blastcrawlers finally decided to sacrifice one of their own to blow up the bench and have the rest follow through. Fortunately for the falling duo, the Ethereals had no way of accelerating their descent to catch up, but that wouldn't mean much if the damn things survived the impact.
Rat and Ratte weren't worried for their own survival, as they'd already extensively tested their lack of fall damage that the [Tips] mentioned. No matter how they landed, they wouldn't gain a single scratch from hitting the ground. It made absolutely no sense in the grand scheme of things, but neither did the magic summoning cards or the PSD, so they didn't think too hard about it.
"AIM FOR THE SPACE NEXT TO THE CAR! I HAVE A PLAN!" the boy shouted, receiving a nod of understanding from his clone as she read his mind.
Both grabbed onto each other in a defensive hug as they plummeted, angling their bodies so they wouldn't miss their target. They would only get one chance at this, so every aspect of it had to be as perfect as possible.
BOOM!
Dust was kicked up and covered the area as they landed feet-first on the broken asphalt, monetarily stopping the soldiers and the Ethereals mid-fight. This didn't last long as the duo burst from the cloud of debris before it could settle, splitting off with Rat going to the vehicle and Ratte heading for the defensive line.
The sniper was, of course, baffled by the sudden appearance of not one, but two children on this routine sweep of Hollow Zero's Ethereal population. That they'd literally dropped out of thin air and somehow survived a fall that had destroyed the pavement was another thing altogether that his training had never covered; but, this was Hollow Zero, so he was quick to roll with it.
"What the hell are you doing here, kid!? Hollow Zero isn't a place for you and your sister to play around in!" he yelled, trying to get across how bad it was for them to be there.
Jumping on top of the armored transport, he looked directly into the man's visor. "No time to explain! Do you like squirrels!?"
"I…uh…what?"
"Squirrels, motherfucker! Do. You. Like. Them!? The clock is ticking, man!"
"Um…I guess I do? They're pretty cute, so…yes?"
"Thank you!" With the borderline-interrogation over, the Squirrel Thiren dashed away from the confused soldier and toward his clone. What said soldier wouldn't realize until later was that his sidearm pistol and three spare magazines had been stolen from him in the confusion, courtesy of a couple of squirrels crawling out of the boy's pockets and taking them while the man was pondering why he was being asked such a nonsensical question.
Ratte had been in the middle of a similar shakedown, having stopped one of the female rifle wielders with the same question. Once she'd answered yes and her spare weapons were stolen, the squirrel girl sprinted away beside her twin toward an opening in the encircling horde.
They broke through just in time for the Blastcrawlers to finally land, with nine of the bastards exploding the moment they slammed into the ground. This had the added bonus of further thinning the crowd of Ethereals, as all of the explosive creatures landed within the horde rather than on the soldiers. One still survived, though, and it hadn't given up on the two children as it continued the chase hot on their heels.
"...Captain."
"Yeah?"
"Did that really just happen?"
"By 'that,' do you mean two kids falling from the sky and stealing two of our guns and multiple magazines of spare ammo, then a group of Blastcrawlers also falling and taking out the majority of our targets?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Then yes. Yes it did."
"..."
"..."
"...Dibs on not reporting it to the Commander!"
"Fuck!"
~~~
"How many left on our tail?" Rat called out as he dodged to the right of a wrecked car, hands fiddling with his new firearm.
Ratte leaped over a massive pothole before she risked a glance back. "Just one! Think we can take 'em with these guns?" she asked, gesturing to her own pistol.
Her male counterpart shook his head. "We need to save the bullets for when we actually need them. Think we can bait it into killing itself like the others?"
"...Maybe? The Instincts aren't saying how far away the so-called 'safe area' is, so that might be easier than running for another twenty minutes. Any suggestions?"
"Yeah, but it's hard to choose. Which do you think would be better?"
The girl quickly read her double's mind, casually dive-rolling under a collapsed road sign before answering. "Getting it to blow itself up is a bit too risky, so let's go with plan B."
"Plan B it is, then!" he nodded, mentally switching their current destination.
What followed was a mad dash through four more fissures, including another active war zone that they didn't get involved in this time, a hospital that actively crumbled around them with every step they took, and what could only be called a water level that put their ability to hold their breath to the test. Of course, the asshole Blastcrawler refused to give up on the hunt, utilizing its incredibly sharp legs and round body to skitter, crawl, jump, and swim after them like the fucking terminator. If they didn't know that it was a mindless creature running purely on instinct, it wouldn't have been wrong to assume it had some kind of grudge against them.
The end of the line came after the fourth fissure, which led to the rooftop of a high-rise skyscraper. What once could've been an incredibly expensive hotel, office building, or other such location used by the elites, was now a broken husk with no windows that served as the platform for a final showdown between one of Hollow Zero's weakest Ethereal types, and two children with more willpower than sense.
Rather than stop and face the threat then and there, the duo dashed for the edge of the roof. However, they slowed down just enough to allow the Blastcrawler to close more than half the distance between them. To its animalistic mind, this was a sign that they were tiring out and wouldn't be capable of fighting back or dodging if it jumped on top of them.
It was so sure of its victory that it launched itself toward them the moment they made it within two meters of the sheer drop –
–Only to sail over them and off the building with a pitiful, confused screeching that faded away as it plummeted to the streets below.
Having halted their momentum by forcefully belly-flopping onto the rough stone floor of the roof, both children let out the breaths they'd been holding in as they rolled over onto their backs. The scrapes, aches, and pains in their limbs finally caught up to them now that the adrenaline flowing through their veins was no longer needed.
"Hey, Rat?"
"Yeah?"
"If you ever say the words 'I have a great idea' again, I'll kill you. No questions asked, no second thoughts, no hesitation. The moment that sentence comes out of your fucking mouth again, it'll be the most creative suicide the world has ever seen."
"...That's fair."
~~~
Ten Minutes Later
After that long and exhausting chase through the ridiculous labyrinth that was Hollow Zero, both Squirrel Thirens decided that they didn't want to move on from this (relatively) safe rooftop. So, they maneuvered their bodies until they were seated back to back, Rat's legs stretched out and Ratte's crossed, so they could keep watch while relaxing.
"Looking back, it was a really stupid idea to try Augmenting an Ethereal," Rat reluctantly admitted. "I just wish we knew why it failed."
DING!
"Ugh…could you check this time?"
"Sure," Ratte nodded, reaching into her own pocket to pull out their phone. Interestingly, they only had one phone to share between them, yet it could be accessed by both as long as it was in the correct pocket.
Augmentations will not work if the target is stronger than you and unwilling to submit.
"Being a 1/1 creature suuuuuuucks," the boy groaned.
"It sure does," Ratte agreed. "Three more weeks before we get that stupid sword, though."
"Don't remind me. Why couldn't that guy give me a cheat that scaled faster?"
"Guess he just likes watching us suffer." A few more minutes of silence passed before she spoke up again. "How much Ether do you have now?"
They had been planning on waiting until midnight to create a full Card Pack since that would be the moment the Ether collection would've reached seven points. With the thirty-four Blastcrawlers that had died chasing them and the random Ethereals that had been killed by the other people they'd passed by, they probably had a lot more.
Closing his eyes, Rat focused on the pool of energy next to his Mana. He'd determined on his second day in that hellhole that it would be best to save his slowly replenishing stock of Ether "points" for the full packs as using it on individual cards when he barely had enough to spend was stupid. Sure, creating more Common and Uncommon cards might seem like a good idea, but the only ones he could summon at the moment were squirrels who were just as weak as he was.
But, with what he was seeing after the gauntlet they'd been forced to endure, the prospect wasn't looking too bad. "Sixty-three points. Looks like leading those Ethereals through two battlefields paid off."
Ratte grinned. "Looks like we don't have to be the ones killing 'em. Just gotta be close enough when they die."
"Yep."
This exchange was closely followed by a debate over what the points should be spent on. Obviously, twenty-eight of them would go towards full Card Packs, as those would give them the most cards and a good variety, but the remaining thirty-five were up in the air.
Ratte expressed her desire for her own Form of the Squirrel card, as Aegis' protection only extended to Rat. That was simple enough seeing as it was only a Rare costing six points.
Next was the real doozy: whether or not to save the remaining twenty-nine until midnight so they could spend them on another Squirrel Dealer card. Did they really need yet another copy of themselves when the events of that day already proved that having more only resulted in two morons thinking the same stupid thoughts? Then there was the question of whether the new clone would look like one of them, or if its appearance would throw them another curveball.
It was eventually decided to wait until after the four card packs had been opened. With the random chance they provided, it was entirely possible for them to pull a Squirrel Dealer and negate a need to outright buy one.
Rat summoned four packs, handing two over to his clone so they could open them all faster. Ripping open the plastic wrapping that faded out of existence, they held their breaths as they flipped through their new cards.
Pack 1
Mountain (Common)Zombified (UncommonOcto- (Common)Chittering Doom (Uncommon)Crocodile- (Common)Bronze Calendar (Uncommon)Entirely Normal ArmchairMonkey- (Uncommon)Growth Spurt (Common)Robo- (UncommonCrocodile- (Common)Cat- (Common)Half-Orc, Half- (Common)Stegosaurus- (Common)Honored Dreyleader (Uncommon)
Pack 2
Island (Common)Human- (Common)Rhino- (Uncommon)Engine (Common)Horse- (Common)Monkey- (Uncommon)Xenosquirrels (Common)Scurrid Colony (Common)Treetop Sentries (Common)Cache Grab (Common) Bonebind Orator (Common) The Big Top (Common) Jellyfish- (Common) Iguana- (Common)Sacrifice Play (Common)
Pack 3
Plain (Common)Really Epic Punch (Common)Selfie Preservation (Common)Humming- (Common)Octo- (Common)Squirrelanoids (Common)Hazmat Suit (Used) (Common)Ninja (Uncommon)Kangaroo- (Common)Down for Repairs (Common)Staff of the Letter Magus (Uncommon)Really Epic Punch (Common)Pangolin- (Common)Camel- (Uncommon)Sword of the Squeak (Rare)
Pack 4
Mountain (Common)Corpseberry Cultivator (Common)Half-Squirrel, Half- (Uncommon)Circuits Act (Common)Scorpion- (Common)Subcontract (Common)Shark- (Uncommon)Acorn Catapult (Rare)Frog Squirrels (Common)Robo- (Uncommon)Multi-Headed (CommonRat- (Common)Shark- (Uncommon)Turkey- (Uncommon)Stegosaurus (Common
"Well…that was disappointing," Rat stated, a frown marring his face.
Ratte sighed. "So many creatures and Augments, but almost none that we can use right now."
In fact, the only cards that they could actually use out of the sixty they'd just drawn were the Half-Squirrel and the Entirely Normal Armchair. What was really upsetting about the latter was that it could technically only be used effectively if they had two Mana with which to sacrifice it. Otherwise, it was just a moderately comfortable chair like the last one Rat pulled.
"Creating that Squirrel Dealer is looking so much more appealing," he muttered as he slumped just a little bit more.
"How about we wait until tomorrow, and summon it if it still sounds like a good idea," she suggested in return.
"...Fine. We still gonna buy and summon your guardian squirrel?"
"Obviously."
~~~
Author's Note:
This is the last chapter I wrote and am uploading in quick succession. Hope you guys liked the chase scene.
And yes, I did make the Blastcrawlers more powerful than their in-game counterparts, considering that their information page states they are a nuisance at best with only slight damage when they explode