IX
At 9 PM, Lu Shiyan lay in bed, tossing and turning.
Not because of insomnia, but because his mind was too chaotic.
Su Tang's words echoed in his ears: "Someone who makes me laugh. Someone who makes every day feel worth looking forward to. Someone who can grow vegetables with me, paint with me, do exercises with me."
He remembered the painting in the studio that afternoon. Two little figures standing side by side in a vegetable patch, blue sky and white clouds above.
He remembered that morning during exercises, the way she looked shouting "clip-clop" beside him.
He remembered the warmth when her fingers touched his hand as she handed him the soup.
He remembered the laughter in her eyes when she saw the little figure he'd drawn.
Then he remembered Gu Yanbai—that gentle, refined man, the bouquet of white roses, the words "Let's have dinner sometime."
Lu Shiyan sat up abruptly.
He took out his phone and opened his chat with Qin Lang.
He hesitated for a long time, then typed: "Qin Lang, how do you know if someone likes another person?"
He stared at the message for three seconds, then deleted it word by word.
He typed again: "Qin Lang, I think I'm sick."
Deleted again.
Finally, he typed a single word: "There?"
Qin Lang replied instantly: "Here! Mr. Lu! You finally responded! About the company—"
"We'll talk about the company tomorrow." Lu Shiyan cut him off. "I have a question."
"Go ahead."
"If a person constantly wants to see another person, what does that mean?"
Qin Lang paused for a moment, then sent a long message: "Mr. Lu, have you developed feelings for someone?"
Lu Shiyan's pupils contracted.
"No. Just asking."
"Mr. Lu, it's normal to like someone. No need to be shy about—"
"I said no. Goodbye."
"Mr. Lu! The company—"
Lu Shiyan had already turned off his phone.
He lay back down, staring at the ceiling, his mind a mess.
Like? Him? Like someone?
He couldn't even take care of himself. What right did he have to like anyone?
And that person was Su Tang. His doctor. The director of this "loony bin." A woman who smiled every day while leading a group of mental patients through morning exercises.
How could he…
But his heartbeat didn't lie.
He put his hand on his chest and felt the irregular rhythm.
This is bad.
Lu Shiyan closed his eyes and said to himself: You really are sick.
And this time, it wasn't insomnia.
X
The next morning at 5:58, Lu Shiyan woke up on time.
But he didn't get up. He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about a very serious question—
What should he do?
Confess? Impossible. He couldn't even say the word "like."
Play dumb? Seemed impossible too, because every time he saw Su Tang, his heartbeat went out of control.
Run away? That was what he did best. But the thought of leaving this place, leaving that vegetable patch, leaving those "crazies," leaving her… his feet felt nailed to the floor.
Just as he was agonizing over it, there was a knock at the door.
"Mr. Lu, time to get up." Su Tang's voice.
Lu Shiyan took a deep breath, sat up, and opened the door.
Outside, Su Tang was wearing a light green athletic suit, holding his straw hat.
"It's a beautiful day. Let's do exercises early." She smiled and handed him the hat.
Lu Shiyan took the hat and looked at her smile. His heartbeat started going haywire again.
"Okay," he said.
His voice was a little hoarse, but Su Tang didn't seem to notice.
She turned and headed downstairs. After a few steps, she looked back. "Oh, Gu Yanbai messaged me yesterday. He wants to take me to dinner."
Lu Shiyan's steps faltered. "Are you going?"
"Haven't decided yet." Su Tang looked at him and smiled. "What do you think?"
Lu Shiyan paused. "That's your business."
"If it were you, would you go?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because…" Lu Shiyan hesitated. "Because he's not what you want."
Su Tang paused, then smiled.
A very happy smile, like a sunflower in the sun.
"You're right, he's not," she said. "So I'm not going."
She turned and continued walking, her ponytail swaying gently in the morning breeze.
Lu Shiyan stood there, watching her retreating figure, and couldn't help but smile.
This time, he didn't deny it.
And it was a very happy smile.