Because of him, her heart was always racing. The overbearing excitement of simply seeing him for less than an hour each day.
Was she relying on him a little too much? After her brother passed away a few weeks ago, he became her pillar of light, and she was terrified of what it would lead to.
She knew she wasn't supposed to fall for her brother's best friend and yet…
"I said yesterday, you don't have to come today," she insisted.
Emi bounded down the front steps of the school with her backpack bouncing with each step. When she got to the bottom, she smiled gratefully at the upperclassman. At least, he was an upperclassman before he graduated last summer.
Even if she told him he didn't have to come, she couldn't be mad at him.
His brown hair was a little bit messy, and she wondered if he had napped after claiming he would stay up all night to study the night before. She liked him best when he looked like that.
It reminded her of all the times he woke up at her family's home when her brother was alive. They would all stay up so late into the night.
"My exam was hours ago," Ren assured her. "I'm not just going to let you walk home alone. I don't even know if your dad is home now."
She averted her eyes.
"Probably not, but, y'know," Emi responded, nervously tucking her long black hair behind her ear.
As usual, they walked towards the school entrance together, but not too close, never too close. He only came close to her when he was picking on her.
"You're getting old," Emi insisted, breaking the silence. "They're going to stop letting you come in here, or they're going to think you're some kind of creep."
She was worried that her joke didn't land correctly. Would he think she was weird?
Relief washed over her when she heard him laugh.
"The teachers still love me here, Em," he insisted. "Remember? Top of my class and whatever. And you're…"
He said it as if it weren't difficult. He was nonchalant as always, undermining all the hard work he put in to get to the highest esteemed local university.
"Number three," Emi muttered with a sigh, her entire body slouching as if that alone was a massive burden.
"You'll get to the top before graduation," he assured her. "I'll tutor you if you want me to."
"But you're already so busy," she insisted. "A mathematics degree? How disgusting. Why would you do that to yourself?"
"You know you'll have to use math in chemistry, right?" he asked.
"Only if the math helps me figure out a way to destroy the math papers on your desk," she insisted with her nose crinkled in disgust.
She was being a little careless and stepped left, nearly getting clipped by a biker riding close to the school fence.
Ren hugged her and dragged her to the other side of the sidewalk.
"Please pay attention to where you're going," he begged with a sigh. "You're going to get yourself hurt one day because of how careless you are. How will you handle chemicals in a lab if you're always this distracted?"
Rather than feeling discouraged, she grinned up at Ren, who was still holding her tightly. She hoped that he couldn't feel her heart racing in her chest, and she pushed him away.
"I don't have to worry," she insisted. "You'll take care of me. You promised Jiro."
"What did I get myself into?" he muttered with a sigh, but kept a hawk-like eye on Emi skipping up ahead.
Even though she was a few months younger than him, he still felt like she was such a child. Had university really changed him that much?
There were only a few blocks for him to get to the corner where he would have to go off in a different direction. Coming up were the sketchier sides of town, so he decided to pick up his pace and walk beside her. Who knew what trouble she could get into up ahead?
When he caught up to her, his hand mistakenly brushed against hers, and she pulled away as if it was on fire.
"Sorry," she uttered quickly.
Keep your eyes up—those were the rules in that part of town. There were too many things to stare at if someone had a wandering eye. In the older area of downtown, someone could get in trouble for that kind of thing.
As they waited for the light across the street to indicate that it was time to walk, there was a shuffling beside them, and Ren took a step closer to Emi. He should have just grabbed her hand, but he didn't want her to read into it too much.
"There is nothing like young love, is there?" a voice asked.
He wanted to remind Emi not to look, but she couldn't just ignore someone when they were talking to her.
Smooth as always, she didn't even deny it; she simply shouted, "What?!"
Ren finally allowed his eyes to drop, and his head turned to the right. An old woman was sitting on a stack of collapsed cardboard boxes, and there was a small wooden table beside her with a lot of junk. Somehow, she'd managed to get a few matches and was lighting what seemed to be incense.
"The two of you have been through a lot together already," the old woman rasped out, but her voice was surprisingly confident for how little she could project. "Come here. I will bless you."
Emi immediately went to her.
"Em–!"
Ren tried to stop her, but there was really no use. He sighed, not for the first time since he was with Emi, and he had no choice but to follow her where she was crouching. He crouched as well.
"Bless us for what?" Emi asked.
"You must stay with one another," the old woman insisted. "You two have such a strong spiritual connection already. If it weren't for the other person, I don't think that either one of you would last for very long."
The woman lifted the incense and started slowly waving it around in circles around her. Her eyes, which were already hooded due to wrinkles and age, closed for a few moments.
"May the two of you always find one another no matter which life you're in," the woman finished, placing the incense down and holding her hands over the heart center as if she were still praying. "Safe travels. I assure you that you will have protection."
Emi's face was red and her eyes were wide.
By that point, Ren had had enough. He quickly uttered thanks to the woman, knowing he was supposed to respect his elders, but he couldn't put up with this any longer. It was almost like Emi believed everything the lady was saying. He dragged her away by the hand.
"Shouldn't we pay her or something?" Emi asked, shocked as she stumbled since Ren was practically dragging her away.
"Well, I don't have cash, and I doubt you do either."
She could only relent, knowing he was right. There was only one more block before they would have to go their separate ways.
Emi's hand was still in Ren's, and she pulled him so he would have to stop once they made it across the street.
"Uh, Ren?" she asked, staring at their joined hands.
His eyes went where hers were and he pulled away quickly.
"Ah…"
He didn't have an excuse for this.
Was he really protecting her or just behaving as he always wanted to? As his gaze rose and he was met with her wide, dark brown eyes; the confession that had been at the tip of his tongue for months threatened to spill over.
The silence felt unbearably heavy, and Emi merely brushed past him so she could continue on the path forward. She shouldn't let him make her so nervous. Her childhood crush needed to end at some point. One day, they would have to go in separate directions.
The final block until they made it to the corner was completely silent. Both of their heads were filled with what the old woman had said.
May they always find one another, no matter which life they were in…
They made it to the corner where Emi would continue straight across the street and Ren would turn right.
"Have a good night, okay?" Emi said. "Get some sleep."
She didn't know what he would go home to. Her brother explained to her before that Ren always hung out at their place because at Ren's place, his parents were always high on something. Whenever he went home, he had to clean their messes. It was embarrassing for him to have to show anyone that.
Despite the heavy feeling, when Ren smiled at her, her heart miserably thudded as their eyes met.
"I will," he responded lightly. "Study hard. Stop reading manga all night."
Emi gave him a stubborn smile. She tried to hold it back, but it appeared anyway.
There was a sense of incompleteness as they went their separate ways.
As Ren walked down the sidewalk, his heart finally calmed down after being beside the only girl he had ever wanted. Then there was honking and the immediate sound of a crash.
Tires squealing. Someone screaming. Shattering windows.
He turned around and saw the worst thing he had ever witnessed in his life.
Tire marks in the street. The damned delivery truck must have gone over two lanes and the median to even get where it was.
Her walk sign had been on, he was sure of it.
Ren stumbled into a sprint, running back to the corner where he had left Emi.
No, no, no…
He practically collapsed at the sight of blood in the street, but he managed to keep moving.
Her crumpled body.
"Emi!" he sobbed. "No! Emi!"
His hands were trembling as he lifted her. He felt the warmth of her wet blood soaking his pants and his shirt. That didn't matter.
"Emi, please," he begged. "You're all I have. Remember what that lady said? We have to stay here for each other."
She coughed. Blood dribbled out of the side of her mouth.
"It's okay," she whispered.
"I was going to tell you I love you. I just didn't know how to. Emi, please!"
His fear of rejection felt unimportant compared to that moment.
She reached up and placed a hand on his cheek, using the last of her energy to try and soothe away the sad expression he wore, but it soon fell away, leaving a bloody handprint behind.
He bitterly sobbed. There was nothing else that mattered to him in the world. Nothing.
Emi was still there, but it was like she had no control over herself. The only thing she was aware of was [Mission: Find Him] covering her field of view before she was ripped out of that world's grasp.