Aria's POV
How long will I keep this secret? I needed to let it out once and for all.
I know deep in my bones that if I spill this secret, there's no turning back for me and Mateo. It will obviously shatter everything. Well, whatever the outcome may be, I'm ready. My wolf Kira only fuels my courage.
Mateo is still silent, glaring at me and I could see the questions in his eyes, waiting for me to speak again, perhaps explaining myself.
"What?" He questioned.
"Mateo…"
I lift my chin, my eyes meeting his.
My words shake, heavy with the pain in my core. "Mateo, you don't have to think it over anymore, about my role as Luna. It's all pointless because…because I'm unable to…"
I can't get the rest of the words out when Mateo's phone buzzes.
His gaze stays on me as he picks it up, his face unreadable. On the line, a voice rushes out, tense., "Alpha, Miss Bella's state is bad. You have to get here right away."
Immediately I heard those words, I saw Mateo's eyes darken in worry. His attention, no longer on me.
He ends the call and faces me, his words short. "We'll handle this later." Then he heads to his dark SUV, set to drive off without looking behind.
I stand frozen. 'Mateo, can't you spare me a single moment? Just one.' I say inwardly. He'd always been like this; he'd always left me to attend to matters he tags as urgent.
Four years as mates, doesn't that deserve a bit of his focus? Is Bella now more important than I am?
Tears rolled down my eyes as I looked down my belly. I place my hands on it. "Mateo, I can never be a mother." I say, those tears rolling off my eyes.
The gust steals the words, but I say them again, hoping the burden eases. Hoping his inner wolf could feel my pain and come back to tell me everything will be fine but the truth? Nothing will be fine.
The Luna of silver moon pack is unable to give her pack an heir to the alpha throne.
It breaks me and the fact that my suffering, no matter how intense, means nothing to Mateo. Nothing at all.
I've offered him my prime years, my all… just to end up tossed aside, all because of him. Motherhood is something amazing and 90 percent of women wish to have that experience and it's unfortunate fate planned it this way for me.
Or rather, the moon goddess did this all. How heartless can she be?
Well, I guess I'll have to accept my fate.
Luna, as they call me. Well, not anymore I guess. I push it from my thoughts. From now on, I'm simply Aria. Just me. For me.
…
Soon, I see Leah show up. All Leah saw was a broken woman. A woman whose heart has been shattered and left with nothing.
She upholds me.
"My Luna, are you fine?" She sounds worried.
I gave no response. Instead, I say something else. "Can I have a cigarette?"
Leah's breath catches as I see the surprise in her eyes. And I see she could tell that I am only trying to suppress my pain as she wonders when I have smoked. This is my first time.
She's been my aide for four full years, she didn't only play the role of a personal assistant or my driver, she played the role of a best friend. Always never wanting to see me sad. And she's always known when I needed her support.
She hesitates. "Let me have it." I added as she hands it over.
The first drag scorched my lungs, the haze scratching my throat, bringing water to my eyes as I choked which led me coughing seriously as Leah rushes towards me and took out the cigarette as she tries to give me some water which subsided it a bit.
***
The day passed with me crying continuously. All I did was drink and drink and drink. Mateo on the other hand didn't come home either or call or even text.
On this day, I asked Leah not to drive me. I drove myself, heading to the nearby club. Maybe if I drink more and dance while being drunk, I'll be fine.
Reaching there, I drink off Mateo's scorn, the Ragnar family's crushing expectations. I drink off disgrace. I drink off my pain. I took shot after shots until the bar attendant refused to give me more.
"You should pay off and leave now. You drank a lot ." He said.
Ignoring his words, I hunched over the counter, tapping the empty mug lightly, asking for more. I was about to grab a nearby drink when a hand stopped me as I felt someone sitting next to me.
"Hey! Give that!" I slurred as I turned and my eyes lands on Alpha Lucian Vale, Alpha of the Bloodmoon pack, Mateo's best friend. The lawyer.
I crease my brows. Why is he here? Did Mateo send him to monitor me?
His deep eyes hold mine as I appear wild tonight as my hair is messy, the buttons of my shirt are slightly opened, showing my cleavage and part of my boobs.
I smile drunkenly.
"Hey…" I slur.
Lucian's stare intensifies, his mind drifting to unspoken places as he takes view of my look and I could see the pity in his eyes. Without a word, he slips off his custom coat, placing it softly over my shoulders. Covering my half naked body.
I smile, staggering to steady my balance and then spurred out another word.
"Why are you here?" My leg slipped but he caught me in an instant and I let out a drunkard laugh.
"You've reached your limit," Lucian states, his voice direct, a bit distant. "I'm getting you out of here."
I slump on the counter, my eyes narrowing as I examine him. My tone is rough, freed from its normal grace. "You are…" I burst out a laugh and was about to take another step and always fell but he held me again. "Why should I follow you?" I questioned.
Reasoning with a drunk is pointless; Lucian knows not to debate. Instead, he pulls out a wad of cash from his pocket, setting it on the bar to pay off my bills before easily lifting me with one hand over his shoulder.
Giggling in a daze, I struggled slightly to go free, hitting his back but his power over shadowed mine. He didn't flinch.
"Put me down." I say.
His voice turned stern. "Unless you want the pack rumors flying by dawn with your name in them, we're going. And I'm taking you home."
We reach his car outside as he set me down and just as he was about to open the car doors, in the daze of the alcohol, I kissed his neck, his face, as I rushed him but he stopped me.
"Hey handsome. Come on." I say and move closer to him again but he stopped me.
I see the restraint in his eyes. And all he saw me as was Mateo's mate, not a she-wolf he can pursue. I am the Luna to his best friend and his duty was to protect me and not otherwise.
Lucian sets me carefully in the front seat of his ride. I've gone quiet, my head against the cushion as I feel weak and sleepy now.
Lucian pauses, his fingers hovering on his device. He calls Mateo's line, not shocked when it rings out twice but Mateo didn't pick.
My eyes open weak slightly, and before he can utter anything, I knock the phone from his grasp aggressively. "I don't want to return there," I murmur, my words shaking with resistance as I struggled with him until he locks me inside the car and stood outside.
Resting against the vehicle's side as he lights a smoke as he watches me through the window. His eyes were cold and emotionless. I didn't know what's running through his mind.
For ages, he stares at me. Then, crushing the smoke under his boot, he straightens his coat and returns to the ride as we drive off.
But my wolf Kira is acting strange now. Mate! Mate! She calls at him in my head. She's relentless, sneering non-stop as I try to block her voice but no way.
I glance at his face from the front mirror and all I could see was a man with an emotionless expression, his attention focused on the road, his hands gripping the steering tight as he matched the gas and it moved to 100.