Jai walked back into the classroom with a lightness in his steps that he couldn't quite hide, his fingers still holding onto the small note he had just read in the library. There was something about it—something simple, yet powerful—that made his chest feel warm and strangely full.
No matter how much he tried to keep a straight face, the smile kept slipping through, soft and unguarded, as if it had found a place it didn't want to leave. Every now and then, his eyes would drift down to the note in his hand, rereading the words in his mind, still half-convinced that maybe he had imagined it all.
It didn't take long for Van and Kim to notice.
The moment Jai stepped inside, both of them immediately caught the unusual glow on his face. They exchanged a quick look—one filled with curiosity and silent agreement—before making their way toward him with matching mischievous grins. There was no way they were going to let that kind of expression go unquestioned.
"Hey, what's that? Why is Jai smiling like that?" Van asked right away, his eyes already locked onto the note Jai was holding, suspicion clear in his tone.
"Ohoo, you're hiding something," Kim added, leaning slightly closer, trying to sneak a peek at whatever Jai was holding so carefully, his curiosity barely contained.
But Jai didn't hide it.
Instead, his smile widened even more, almost uncontrollably, as he lifted the note just enough for them to see. The excitement in his chest bubbled over, spilling into his voice before he could even try to tone it down.
"Thorn replied to my note!" he said, unable to keep the happiness out of his tone, his voice bright and filled with disbelief.
For a second, Van and Kim just stared at him—processing.
Then—
"AAAAHHH!" Van suddenly screamed, grabbing Jai by the shoulders and shaking him lightly, his excitement exploding all at once.
"Wait, seriously?! He replied?!" Kim added, nearly jumping in place, his eyes wide as she looked between Jai and the note, as if needing confirmation that this was real.
Jai nodded, still smiling.
And just like that, the teasing began.
"Well then, doesn't that mean Thorn is interested in you too?" Kim said with a knowing grin, crossing her arms as she looked at Jai like he had already figured everything out.
"Interested? Or maybe he's just grateful?" Van suddenly cut in, his tone casual—but enough to shift the mood.
The change was immediate.
Jai's smile faltered, just slightly, and Kim's expression turned into a frown as she shot Van a look.
"Van! You always ruin the moment," Kim complained, lightly pushing him in annoyance.
Jai let out a quiet breath, his gaze lowering back to the note in his hand. The warmth he felt earlier was still there—but now it was mixed with something softer, something uncertain. His fingers unconsciously played with the paper clip, as if grounding himself in the moment.
"Maybe you're right…" he murmured quietly, his voice no longer as bright as before.
"If he likes someone… it's probably the person writing these notes."
Kim frowned at that, clearly not liking where this was going.
"Well yeah… and who exactly is writing those notes?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
Jai didn't hesitate.
"Me," he answered simply.
There was a brief pause. Then Kim rolled his eyes dramatically before letting out a small laugh.
"Well, there you go. Then he likes you," he said with confidence, as if it was the most obvious conclusion in the world.
But instead of feeling reassured, Jai's expression softened into worry. His grip on the note tightened slightly as his thoughts drifted somewhere deeper—somewhere more vulnerable.
"But what if he finds out it's really me?" he asked, his voice quieter now, laced with hesitation. "What if… everything changes after that?"
Kim waved it off almost instantly, as if the answer was simple.
"Then he finds out," he said casually, shrugging like it wasn't a big deal.
But Van, this time, spoke again—though slower, more careful.
"If he finds out… maybe he'll see you differently," Van began, hesitation in his voice—but Kim cut him off before he could continue.
"Oh my gosh, Van! Why are you always so negative?" Kim snapped, placing her hands on her hips. "You're scaring him instead of helping!"
"Hey, you didn't even let me finish," Van defended himself, raising his hands slightly.
"What I meant was—what if he really finds out, and instead of seeing Jai as just a younger brother… he starts seeing him more than that?!"
That made them pause.
The air shifted again—but this time, not in a bad way.
Jai and Kim exchanged a look, both caught off guard by the thought. For a moment, neither of them spoke, letting the possibility settle quietly between them.
Then slowly, Kim's lips curved into a smile.
"Well then… fight for it," he said, patting Jai on the shoulder with renewed energy.
"Yeah, fight for your love," Van added, grinning like he had just delivered the perfect line.
Jai nodded awkwardly, his cheeks turning slightly red as he looked down, clearly flustered but not entirely opposed to the idea.
"Say it—fight!" Van suddenly shouted, raising his fist in the air like some kind of dramatic cheerleader.
"...Fight," Jai echoed softly, almost shyly.
"FIGHTTT!!!" Van yelled louder, completely unaware of his surroundings as he kept his fist raised proudly—
"Really, Van?!"
The sudden voice cut through the moment.
Van froze.
Slowly, he turned around—only to find their professor standing right behind him, arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed in clear disapproval.
An awkward smile immediately spread across his face.
"Ahhh… haha sorry, Prof…" he said, scratching the back of his head, his confidence disappearing in an instant.
Meanwhile, Jai and Kim couldn't hold it in anymore. Their laughter spilled out freely, breaking the tension as the moment turned into something light again—something warm, something easy.
And for Jai, despite everything—the doubts, the questions, the uncertainty—the note in his hand still felt like hope.
Jai, Kim, and Van left the university early, walking together for a while before Van excused herself to pick someone up at home, and Kim eventually parted ways as well. That left Jai alone, carrying the weight of the day on his shoulders—the classroom encounters, the events at the bar, and the small yet meaningful message from Thorn that had lingered in his mind since earlier.
Tired from the day, he still felt a strange mix of anticipation and nervous energy coiling in his chest as he made his way out of the campus, each step echoing with a quiet awareness of the storm clouds gathering above.
He walked straight to the bus stop, clutching his bag over his head to shield himself from the sudden downpour. The rain came down in heavy sheets, drenching the streets, the cars, and anyone who dared to be outside, and Jai found himself glancing at every passing vehicle, every person scurrying for cover, as though hoping for some small, familiar face to appear amidst the chaos.
The world felt quieter somehow under the relentless pounding of rain, each drop amplifying the solitude and tugging at the strange loneliness that had nested itself inside him throughout the day.
Then, almost without warning, a car slowly pulled up in front of him. Jai looked up, puzzled, peering through the rain, uncertain whose vehicle it could be. When the window rolled down, the figure inside made his heart skip a beat. Thorn. Drenched, yet composed, Thorn sat behind the wheel, staring at him as though the world had shrunk to the space between them.
"Jai…" His voice was soft, laced with worry, the kind of concern that made the sound of rain fade into nothingness.
Time seemed to pause; the chaos of the street, the splatter of water, the roar of passing vehicles—all of it melted away, leaving only Jai and Thorn suspended in that suspended moment, each heartbeat loud enough to hear.
Jai froze, unable to respond. Everything about the scene—the heavy rain, the distance between them, the sudden and unexpected meeting—made the air feel charged. He wanted to speak, to move, yet all he could do was look, captivated by Thorn's presence and the warmth it radiated despite the chill outside.
"Are you going home? Come with me," Thorn continued, voice gentle yet edged with the smallest hint of worry.
Jai's mind raced; he hesitated, weighing the choice, looking at the rain-soaked street, at the passing cars, at every detail of the moment, feeling a knot of nervousness tighten in his chest.
"Come on, before you catch a cold," Thorn added, teasing just enough to hide his worry.
That was all the encouragement Jai needed. Without thinking, he slipped into the car, heart pounding so violently it felt like it could leap out of his chest. Sitting beside Thorn, he felt the subtle warmth of his presence, the quiet energy that seemed to pulse between them, and it was impossible not to notice.
Inside the car, the rain hammered the roof and windshield, yet the space between them felt quiet, almost intimate. Thorn glanced at him briefly before returning his eyes to the road, hiding the small, unspoken relief and joy he felt at Jai's presence.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, steadying his gaze on Jai.
"I'm… okay, P'Thorn," Jai answered softly, with a slight tremor of nerves in his voice.
Thorn's lips curved into a small smile, and for the first time since arriving at the bus stop, he exhaled lightly, as though a small burden had lifted from his chest.
"Are you hungry?" Thorn asked again, concern and a hint of playful teasing in his tone.
Jai hesitated, unwilling to admit the truth. Thorn's eyes met his, searching, gentle, patient, as though coaxing him to let down his guard.
"Jai?" Thorn repeated, softly, leaning ever so slightly into the space between them.
"Uh… not really, P'…" Jai murmured, cheeks tinged with pink, forcing a small, shy smile while feeling the heat of Thorn's gaze.
Thorn smiled to himself, a quiet, private amusement, and the car fell into another brief silence, heavy with unsaid words, with tiny gestures, with the connection that didn't need conversation.
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
The rain outside blurred the city into streaks of gray and silver, and the world felt suspended between the drops and the dim glow of streetlights. Thorn thought, without fully realizing it, that this was the perfect opportunity—not just to shelter Jai from the rain, but to bring him somewhere they could talk, somewhere he could feel safe and close, somewhere he could finally reconnect with his childhood companion.
That simple intention, carried in the quiet of the car, held a weight of possibility for both of them, and for Jai, it was a small, thrilling, nerve-wracking step toward something new.
When they arrived at the restaurant, Thorn immediately approached Jai, and in an instant, Jai found himself staring at him, frozen in place. Thorn's eyes met his, steady and unreadable, yet in that brief moment, it felt as though time itself had stopped between them.
Every movement, every small breath, every slight shift seemed to become sharper, clearer, more pronounced—the tension between them unspoken, yet undeniable. It was as if some invisible force pulled them closer, compelling them to remain suspended in that instant, to exist only in each other's gaze.
"P'Thorn?" Jai's soft voice broke through the spell, reminding both of them of reality.
Thorn blinked, stepping back slightly, a strange fluttering in his chest that he couldn't immediately identify. They got out of the car together, and as they walked toward the restaurant, Jai glanced around, curiosity mixed with surprise flickering across his features. He hadn't expected this, hadn't imagined that Thorn would bring him here, yet the quiet warmth emanating from his presence was undeniable.
"What are we doing here, P'Thorn?" Jai asked, looking around the cozy restaurant, his voice carrying both uncertainty and amusement.
Thorn simply smiled, calm and patient. Moments later, a waiter approached, guiding them to a vacant table and helping them settle in.
"I figured you might be hungry, so I brought you here," Thorn said, adjusting Jai's chair slightly as if to make him feel more comfortable.
"Ah…" Jai murmured, offering only a small nod, words failing him as the quiet intimacy of the moment settled over them.
As they waited for their food, silence stretched between them once more, heavy with unspoken thoughts and questions neither knew how to begin voicing. Eventually, Thorn broke it.
"Uhm… how's university going?" he asked, voice gentle, careful.
"It's okay… not easy though," Jai replied softly, a hint of uncertainty in his tone.
Thorn nodded, absorbing the words. There was a pause before Jai ventured another question, quieter this time, hesitant, almost shy.
"And you… P'Thorn… how have you been?" Thorn's eyebrows lifted in surprise—he hadn't expected Jai to ask, hadn't realized he wanted to know.
"I'm good. Actually, this is my last year," Thorn said with a small, honest smile.
"And your friends?" Jai prompted further, curiosity mingled with a desire to reconnect.
Thorn chuckled lightly.
"My friends? A little chaotic, but fun. And you? Have you made any friends?"
Jai nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips.
"Yes… though they can be a bit weird too," he admitted, and Thorn laughed softly, the sound warm and easy in the air between them.
"Is that so?" Thorn said with amusement, then tilted his head.
"What program are you taking by the way?"
"Uhh… Internal Medicine. I want to be a cardiologist, so I chose that," Jai answered, steady despite the nervous fluttering in his stomach.
Thorn's eyes softened, a touch of surprise crossing his face.
"I thought you were going to study Arts and Design. You've always been into that, haven't you?"
Jai nodded, a quiet acknowledgment.
"I have, but I changed my mind. I want to be a doctor now."
Thorn reflected on this, curiosity lacing his expression.
"Why?" he asked gently.
Jai fell silent, fingers intertwining under the table, clasping his hands together, unable yet to voice the true reason to Thorn. The quiet between them grew heavier, laden with all the things left unsaid, until the waiter arrived with their food, placing the plates before them and breaking the tension just enough to allow the conversation to continue. They began eating, the act itself grounding them, bridging the distance that had existed since they stepped out of the rain.
After a few moments, Thorn spoke again, quieter this time, almost like a confession to the air.
"I didn't think I'd see you again after all this time," he said, glancing at Jai, eyes soft yet fixed.
Jai met his gaze and gave a small nod, hesitant but genuine.
"If… if we hadn't met here, P'Thorn," Jai began, uncertainty threading his words, "would we… not ever see each other again?"
Thorn's expression softened, a shadow of thought crossing his face.
"Maybe… but we met, didn't we? Against all odds."
Jai nodded once more, letting the truth of that statement settle into him.
It was then that he noticed the small purple paper clips at the edge of the table—the same shade he had used in the notes he'd left in the library. His lips curved into a small, unguarded smile, simple yet sincere. Thorn caught the gesture immediately, his heart lifting in quiet surprise and delight.
"You're smiling, Jai?" Thorn asked, voice gentle, teasing, almost as if he couldn't quite believe it.
"Huh?" Jai replied quickly, cheeks flushing, ducking his head, caught off guard by the observation.
Thorn merely smiled to himself, unashamed of the quiet happiness he felt. Even such a small, fleeting smile from Jai was enough to make the world feel lighter, the moment brighter, the air between them charged with unspoken connection.
After they finished eating, Thorn drove Jai back to his apartment. The ride was quiet, but the silence didn't feel awkward at all. Occasionally, Jai would glance out the window, watching the city lights blur past as raindrops streaked the glass, while Thorn kept his eyes mostly on the road, though he couldn't resist sneaking glances at Jai from time to time. Even without much conversation, there was a certain lightness in the air between them, an unspoken ease that seemed to fill the space in the car.
When they reached the front of Jai's apartment, Thorn slowed the car gradually, and both of them fell into a brief, comfortable stillness, as if neither wanted to let the moment end just yet. Jai slowly unbuckled his seatbelt and faced Thorn, offering a small, polite smile.
"Thank you for bringing me home, P'Thorn," he said softly, sincerity threading every word.
"Khap," Thorn replied quietly, his own voice low and gentle.
Jai's hand rested on the door handle, but before stepping out, he spoke again, his tone carrying a subtle warmth.
"Take care on your way back!"
Thorn froze for a brief second at that, and a small, involuntary smile tugged at his lips—one of those quiet, simple smiles that said more than words ever could.
"Khap, See you again!" he replied, voice calm but tinged with softness.
Jai stepped out of the car slowly, closing the door behind him and giving a small wave before turning to walk into the apartment building. Thorn watched him go, letting his gaze linger for a few moments from inside the car before driving away, carrying a quiet, unspoken weight in his chest.
Jai paused for a moment at the entrance of his apartment, hand resting lightly over his heart, a small smile playing on his lips. Somehow, the heaviness inside him had eased, even if just a little. Though the encounter had been brief, it left him feeling lighter, a small warmth settling in his chest that hadn't been there before.
Once inside his room, after taking a shower and changing, Jai sank lightly onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. The events of the evening kept replaying in his mind—the rain, Thorn's sudden arrival, the quiet yet charged ride in his car, and their peaceful, almost intimate dinner at the restaurant. He couldn't stop the small smile that kept creeping onto his face as he relived each moment.
Overcome by a surge of excitement, he decided to call Kim and Van. Within seconds, both picked up, their voices brimming with energy and curiosity.
"Muenggg!" Jai squeaked, unable to contain the thrill bubbling inside him.
"What?" Kim's voice chimed from the other end, tinged with excitement.
"What happened? What happened?" Van immediately followed, words tumbling over each other.
Jai's grin widened as he recounted, trying to keep the giddiness from overtaking his voice.
"So… earlier," he began, voice shaking slightly with excitement.
"I had dinner with P'Thorn… and he even drove me home to the apartment!" His smile practically radiated through the phone.
"Uieee! That's so cute!" Kim squealed.
"I think he really likes you too, Jai!"
"You're smiling right now!" Van teased, laughter clear in his tone.
"Ayiee! Look at that grin!" Kim added, poking fun at him.
Jai tried to deny it, but he couldn't suppress the smile on his lips.
"So… when are you going to confess?" Van asked suddenly. Jai went silent, his giddy excitement slowly replaced by a hint of worry.
"I don't know yet… I'm scared he might see me differently if he finds out I'm the one writing the notes," he admitted softly, fingers fiddling with his pillow.
"But aren't you afraid he might like someone else?" Van exclaimed.
Worry shadowing on Jai's expression.
"What if he finds someone he connects with more?" Van's words made Jai's face fall, tinged with melancholy.
"Of course I'm afraid…" he whispered, voice small.
"But I'm not competing with anyone, Van. I just want him to know I like him… and that's when I'll finally apologize for everything I did to him before."
The line went quiet for a few moments, each letting Jai's words sink in.
"Mm… don't dwell on negative thoughts just yet, Jai. The important thing is, you finally talked to P'Thorn," Kim said, her voice encouraging, warm.
"Yeah," Van added, "And if he likes you or someone… that's entirely his choice."
Jai lay back on his bed, letting the weight of their words settle. Maybe they were right. Whatever the outcome, the important thing was that he had stopped lying to himself about his feelings for Thorn.
"Mm… if he ever finds out the truth, I'm ready for whatever happens," Jai murmured.
A small, determined smile tugging at his lips as he hugged his pillow close, feeling a strange comfort in the certainty of his own heart.
Jai lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, letting the dim light from the streetlamp outside filter through the blinds and paint soft lines across his room. The events of the day replayed in his mind like a gentle, looping film, each moment sharper than the last. He could still feel the warmth of Thorn's presence in the car, the faint smell of rain that clung to his jacket, and the steady thrum of the city outside as if it had been holding its breath just for them.
Even now, the memory of Thorn's quiet smile as he drove, the subtle way his eyes flicked toward him, made Jai's chest tighten with something between anticipation and longing. He traced imaginary patterns on the ceiling with his eyes, thinking about the way time had seemed to slow when Thorn had looked at him—how every small gesture had felt magnified, how even a simple question about his studies had seemed to carry a weight he couldn't quite explain.
He remembered the restaurant, the way Thorn had guided him to a seat, the pause before conversation had started, as if the world had stopped around them. The meal had been ordinary in one sense, yet extraordinary in another, filled with unspoken moments—shared glances, quiet laughter, the brush of their hands near the edge of the table.
Even the lilac paper clips sitting on the side of the table had made him smile, a small, deliberate echo of the notes he had left in the library. That Thorn had noticed it, had even commented on his smile—it felt like a secret bridge between them, something delicate and personal that belonged only to the two of them.
The ride home was another memory he couldn't shake. Thorn driving with steady calm, the sound of rain pelting the car roof, the quiet intimacy that seemed to fill the space between them. He remembered the moment Thorn had finally spoken, his voice low and gentle, concerned about Jai getting wet, concerned about his wellbeing.
Just a few simple words, but they had carried more meaning than Jai could put into speech. The flutter in his chest had been unrelenting, and he had realized then that being near Thorn was like standing on the edge of something both thrilling and terrifying, something he didn't want to end.
Jai hugged his pillow closer, feeling the soft fabric against his cheek, imagining Thorn's quiet presence beside him. He thought about the way his friends had teased him over the phone, how their excitement had mirrored his own, yet also reminded him of the weight of what he hadn't said aloud.
He had confessed to no one—not even Thorn—that he had been the one writing the little notes, leaving subtle messages in the library, the way he had tried to bridge the distance that had grown between them over the years. That truth sat heavily on his chest now, mingled with hope and fear, and he wondered if Thorn would see him differently if he ever found out.
For a long while, Jai let his thoughts drift back to the present, to the stillness of his room, the faint hum of the city outside, and the warmth of memory and anticipation intertwining in his chest. He traced patterns absentmindedly along the edge of the pillow, feeling the rise and fall of his own breath, the pulse of his heart, imagining Thorn's eyes on him once more.
Maybe it was foolish, maybe it was premature, but the day had left him feeling unshakably light, as if a small weight had been lifted and replaced with something fragile and exhilarating. He didn't want to let go of that feeling yet.
As the night stretched on, Jai finally let his eyes close, still holding the memory of the day like a precious secret. Even in sleep, the echo of Thorn's presence lingered, the soft cadence of his voice and the gentleness in his gaze forming a quiet rhythm in Jai's mind. He drifted into a dreamless sleep, the day's events wrapping around him like a soft, protective blanket, carrying with it a sense of anticipation and hope that felt like it might just linger long after the morning came.
I trully love him, I won't deny it.