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Chapter 5 - A heart-to-heart talk with my mother

Although I was also wronged, no one believed me.

 

My mother pressed my head down, and we both bowed and apologized. With the mediation of the police officers at the local police station, we finally agreed to a settlement.

 

When I came out of the police station, I thought my mother would give me a beating, but instead, after getting in the car, I slumped over the steering wheel and looked very tired.

 

If she scolded me or hit me, I could accept it, since I'm used to it. But the way she's acting now makes me feel guilty.

 

I gently placed my hand on my mother's shoulder and whispered, "Mom, don't be angry. Let me explain."

 

"Don't touch me!" Mom shouted angrily, shaking her shoulder hard in an attempt to shake my hand off.

 

Seeing that she was angry, I didn't dare to say anything more and could only sit quietly to the side.

 

After a long while, Mom finally raised her head and sighed, "Xiaodong, what am I supposed to do with you?"

 

I said, feeling wronged, "Mom, I'm really innocent. I've been framed."

 

Who framed you?

 

"A little girl, I think she's my dad's colleague's daughter."

 

"Your dad's colleague's daughter?" Mom frowned. "Why would she frame you?"

 

"How would I know? Maybe it's because I'm too handsome."

 

"You're talking nonsense!"

 

"Mom, why can't you believe me?"

 

Mom said angrily, "I'm wondering the same thing. Why can't you make me believe you?"

 

"I..." I was speechless for a moment. Yes, I was also wondering when I had become such an untrustworthy person in my mother's eyes.

 

After a moment of silence, Mom said, "Don't blame people for not believing you. Think about your own actions. If you were me, would you believe in yourself?"

 

"What...what happened to me now?"

 

"Ling Xiaodong, don't think I don't know what you've been doing behind my back. I didn't tell you everything clearly because I was saving face for you. Do you really think your mother is stupid?" My mother glared at me. "Did you even understand what I told you the other day?"

 

"I understand, I understand." I frowned and nodded vigorously.

 

"You know you're still causing trouble for me outside! All those vows you made to me the other day were just bullshit!"

 

"I...I'm really innocent. I really didn't do anything. If you don't believe me, go back and see Dad later, and he'll vouch for me."

 

"Whether you're innocent or not, you've still brought me to the police station and made me lose face along with you."

 

When I thought about it, it made sense. Given my mother's strong personality, it would be quite embarrassing for her to be bowing and apologizing to people at the police station.

 

Mom started the car and remained silent the whole way, not saying another word.

 

When I got home, she neither punished me nor scolded me. Instead, she locked herself in her bedroom with a bang and didn't even get up to cook dinner. It seems I really hurt her feelings this time.

 

When my dad came home, I angrily told him what had happened that day, wanting him to bring his colleague's daughter over to clear my name.

 

hearing this, Dad was a little surprised and asked, "She went to see you?"

 

"Yes, and more than once." I asked through gritted teeth, "Who is she? Why is she framing me like this?"

 

Dad stared blankly for a moment, then hurriedly started rummaging through his pockets. Finally, he pulled out a few ten-yuan bills, stuffed them into my hand, and stared at me, saying, "Didn't you say you didn't have enough pocket money? This is my change for buying cigarettes. Take it first, and if it's not enough, Dad will give you more another day. If that girl comes to you again, whatever you do, don't pay any attention to her. Also, whatever you do, whatever you do, don't let your mom know about this."

 

My dad's reaction surprised me; there's definitely something fishy going on.

 

Could that girl really be his mistress? But even so, why would she bother me for no reason?

 

I couldn't understand it, but my dad kept telling me what to do, using both threats and bribes, and in the end, I was left speechless and unable to express my bitterness.

 

I woke up in the middle of the night because I needed to urinate, so I got up to go to the toilet.

 

After opening the door, I vaguely heard some rustling voices. Listening closely, I realized the voices were coming from the balcony; it sounded like my mother was on the phone. Still up so late, having a long phone conversation? I didn't need to guess who she was talking to.

 

I instinctively felt that the call was related to me, so I tiptoed over.

 

In the dim moonlight, one could vaguely see that Mom was wearing a violet silk nightgown, curled up on a beanbag chair surrounded by green potted plants, her head tilted to the side, her phone tucked between her shoulder and cheek, her long hair hanging down, obscuring half of her face, and a delicate little brush in her hand, casually painting her toenails.

 

The bright moonlight shone through the glass window and fell on my mother, as if she were draped in a thin silver veil. Her snow-white skin, exposed on the outside, was as delicate and smooth as exquisite porcelain, seemingly radiating a holy light. It was as if I were in an oil painting, so beautiful that it was like a dream. I even felt my heart race a little.

 

Because I was walking very quietly, my mother didn't notice. She sighed and said, "I understand everything you're saying. I've hit him and scolded him, but he's really naughty. I don't know what to do with him anymore."

 

Judging from what he said, it was indeed about my situation.

 

I temporarily forgot about going to the bathroom and curiously hid in a corner, wanting to hear what they were saying.

 

I overheard Mom say softly, "I know he's going through puberty, and I know teenage boys are shy. I've been very considerate of him. A while ago, he had a wet dream and soiled his pants. I don't know if he was too embarrassed to let me know or just shy, but he secretly hid his pants. Later, when I was looking for something, I found them... but no, I was just afraid he'd be embarrassed, so I put them back."

 

My face flushed, and I inwardly complained to my mother, "Why do you tell everyone everything?"

 

Then it dawned on me that Mom had already discovered the hidden pajama bottoms.

 

"I'm afraid he'll cause me trouble when he goes out. Like what happened today, no one pursued it. But if it were someone who takes things seriously, they might have made a scene at school or posted it online. That would ruin his life… Of course, I'm his mother. If I don't worry about him, who will? You worry about him."

 

I felt touched, but also a little guilty. Although my mother had hit me a lot since I was a child, she had really worked hard for me.

 

"I know he's a troublemaker, but I've already given birth to him, what else can I do? Can I just throw him away? Here, take him, do you want him?"

 

The feeling of being touched vanished instantly; it seems my mom harbors a deep resentment towards me .

 

"What do you mean I didn't raise her well... What do you mean my son seduced your daughter? Do you think Yiyi is a blank slate? The internet is so advanced now, what don't they know... We agreed to become in-laws, so why is it all my fault ? "

 

Judging from her tone, it didn't sound like she was arguing; it sounded more like she was joking.

 

"I've already separated them, what more do you want from me? I'm just worried now, I don't know what to do with him. I've been thinking about it all day, and I'm planning to take him to see a psychologist when I have some free time… I'm really not kidding… I know that teenage boys have physical needs, but we've already separated them, haven't we… You make it sound so easy, you've never raised a son, you don't know… Sigh, I have something to tell you, but you have to keep it a secret, don't tell anyone else."

 

Mom suddenly lowered her voice and whispered, "Xiao Dong stole my stockings, um... don't pretend, it was that."

 

I feel feverish all over. My mom, how could you tell people something like this? Doesn't she have any shame about her son?

 

However, just as I guessed, Mom did know all along.

 

"You're the one with a mother complex!" Mom said half-jokingly. "You're his future mother-in-law, so you're practically his mother. Does he have a mother-in-law complex or not?"

 

Suddenly, Aunt Rong's image appeared in my mind . She was always cold and aloof, never smiling, and there was no sense of closeness whatsoever. I was trying to avoid her as much as possible, let alone dare to fall in love with her .

 

"That's right. He's not a mother-fixator; he's a stocking fetishist, a stocking fetishist."

 

Actually, I'm a bit confused now. I used to know very well that I was simply obsessed with stockings, but lately I seem to be paying more and more attention to my mother herself. Even when she's not wearing stockings, I inexplicably feel aroused, which is what I'm most afraid of.

 

found under his mattress before were all related to stockings. That's why I wanted to take him to see a psychologist. I don't even dare to wear stockings at home anymore."

 

Oh, I see. No wonder Mom's been dressing more conservatively lately.

 

Although it is already late autumn, we are located in the south, where it is spring-like all year round. Even in winter, there are plenty of beautiful women wearing stockings or even going out bare-legged.

 

" Oh dear , I'm really worried now. I'm afraid he'll go out and steal other people's stockings, or secretly touch people's thighs... You're the pervert... I know, I know , I'm just trying my best to stop him from becoming a pervert. I didn't notice this problem in him before. I always felt that it only started after I stopped him from seeing Yiyi, so I wanted to take him to see a psychologist."

 

I gave a bitter laugh to myself. Well, in the eyes of my two mothers, I've become a monster.

 

"Is blocking better than guiding? How do you guide? ... Nonsense, why don't you give your stockings to my son? ... Don't laugh, your stockings are smelly, my son might not even want them."

 

Rong always wore a police uniform; I don't recall ever seeing her wear stockings or pantyhose.

 

Rong look like wearing stockings? I couldn't help but imagine it in my mind.

 

"Do you really think this will work? What if it gets worse... I know, I'm just worried about affecting his college entrance exam, otherwise I would have hit him with a stick long ago... That's what I mean too, let's get through the college entrance exam first, and maybe things will be better if Yiyi is by his side then." It seems that Mom was just saying that out of anger that day, and didn't really mean to break us up completely with that one blow.

 

"What do you mean? You don't acknowledge this son-in-law? Whether you like it or not, you have to... Stop giving me this nonsense. I'll just dump him at your house and make him your live-in son-in-law. You'll have to accept it whether you like it or not." Usually, my mom just says I'm being unreasonable, but when she acts like a scoundrel, she's truly irrational.

 

"What I'm worried about is what to do now. What if he… He dared to touch someone's thigh on the bus this time, what if he does it next time… He might even try something dirty with me. If it gets worse, I'll have to come after you… I think it's better to let him get back together with Yiyi… What do you mean by pushing your daughter into a fire pit? What do you take our Xiaodong for… Okay, okay, I'll think about it some more. I have to go to work tomorrow, I'll talk about it later."

 

When I heard my mom was about to hang up, I was afraid she would find out I was eavesdropping, so I quickly tiptoed back to my bedroom, not even bothering to go to the bathroom.

 

The next day, I kept thinking about what kind of advice Aunt Rong had given my mother, and I couldn't concentrate on my studies anymore.

 

I went home on time after school and found my mother's high heels there. I called out to her, but there was no response.

 

I walked around the room but didn't see anyone, so I put down my schoolbag and prepared to go to the bathroom. Just as I was about to enter the bathroom, I saw my mother standing in front of the washing machine, with both hands on the laundry basket. In one of her hands, she was tightly holding several pairs of unopened new stockings. Her brows were furrowed, as if she was struggling with something.

 

I was a little puzzled. What was Mom thinking about so intently? She didn't even hear me when I called her earlier.

 

Just as I was about to greet her, I saw my mother unpack the stockings one by one, crumple them, and throw them all into the laundry basket. Completely bewildered, I wondered what she was doing.

 

Mom bit her lower lip, stared at the stockings in the laundry basket for a while, then took them all out, paused for a moment, and put them back.

 

She went back and forth like this several times, taking and putting the stockings away, until finally she seemed to have made up her mind. She threw the stockings into the basket, turned around, and was about to leave when she saw me standing against the wall outside. She was so startled that she almost jumped up, clutching her chest and panting, "You little brat, are you like a cat? You didn't make a sound. You came back without making a peep, you scared me to death!"

 

I said innocently, "I greeted you, but you didn't hear me."

 

Mom glanced back at the stockings in the laundry basket, then said to me sternly, "I didn't count the stockings I took off, but you're not allowed to steal any more."

 

"Huh?" I looked at her blankly.

 

"What are you 'huh' for! You're not far from going to jail, do you know that? And you still 'huh'? You're really going to be the death of me." Mom glared at me, then muttered as she went back to her bedroom.

 

I frowned, completely bewildered, recalling the scene just now. I felt that my mother was a little different from usual; her flustered appearance... was actually kind of cute.

 

Wow!

 

Using the word "cute" to describe my mom is terrifying!

 

As for what she just said, like not counting the stockings she took off, I can't steal any more.

 

These are clearly new stockings she just opened the package for, and why did she emphasize that she didn't count them, as if she was deliberately giving me a hint? Does she want me to steal them, or does she not want me to steal them?

 

I crossed my arms, tilted my head, and stared intently at the stockings in the basket. Although I was fascinated by stockings, I had no interest in these newly opened ones. I would be more interested in the used stockings that my mother had taken off.

 

etc!

 

Is Mom setting a trap? Is she deliberately trying to lure me into stealing her stockings, then beating me up and taking me to see a psychologist?

 

But that doesn't make sense. When she talked to Aunt Rong on the phone yesterday, she made it very clear that she's refraining from beating me to death because she's afraid it will affect my college entrance exam. If she wanted to beat me up, she would have done it already; there's no need to go through all this trouble. Oh right, she once said that it's better to guide than to suppress.

 

Is it because they're afraid I'll cause trouble outside, so they turn a blind eye to me and let me take care of my physical needs at home?

 

Uh ... even so, Mom is too cunning. You have to use plenty of bait when fishing. Does she really think I'm stupid and can't tell the difference between used stockings and new stockings?

 

I hooked a strip of meat with my little finger, gave a disdainful smile, and then threw it back.

 

I turned around and saw my mother standing outside against the wall, staring at me expressionlessly. I was startled and patted my chest, saying, "Mom, what are you doing? Didn't you go back inside? You scared me to death!"

 

The mother retorted, "What are you doing?"

 

"I didn't do anything."

 

"You didn't do anything?"

 

"Yes, I didn't do anything."

 

What do you want to do?

 

"I didn't intend to do anything."

 

"You didn't intend to do anything?"

 

"I... oh, right, I need to use the restroom." After saying that, I turned around and went into the restroom, paid the water bill quickly, and when I came out, my mother was gone, and the stockings had disappeared from the laundry basket.

 

I breathed a long sigh of relief, thinking to myself, "That was close! I almost fell for her trick."

 

However, it seems that she is still quite conflicted.

 

In the evening, my mother still sat beside me watching me study, but she's become much more conservative now; she's even started wearing jeans at home, which is really disappointing.

 

On the bright side, I can now focus on my studies.

 

I tossed and turned thinking about what had happened in the past few days. Around the same time last night, I quietly got up, tiptoed to open the door, and found no movement on the balcony. It seemed that my mother hadn't called Aunt Rong like she had yesterday, and I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

 

For the next two days, I felt that my mother was acting strangely. She kept staring at me with a sidelong glance, as if she were guarding against a thief.

 

On the third day, after dinner, I was sitting on the sofa discussing the English Premier League with my dad when my mom came over and beckoned me to come into the bedroom with her.

 

My mother's unusual behavior these past few days has made me a little nervous. I don't know what she's trying to do. Now I'm even thinking of taking her to see a psychologist.

 

After I entered the room, my mother sat on a stool, rhythmically tapping her fingers on the dressing table as she looked at me.

 

Today she was wearing a light knitted top and slim-fit jeans that hugged her long, shapely legs, making her look quite rounded. Her feet, clad in white cotton socks and cotton slippers, seemed to indicate that she was very wary of me.

 

After a moment of silence, Mom asked, "How's school lately?"

 

"very good."

 

"Very good? Then... how about your studies? Have you been studying diligently?"

 

"have."

 

"Where's Lu Yiyi? Have you been hanging out with her lately?"

 

"No."

 

"You..." Mom asked with a puzzled look, "Why are you acting so differently than usual?"

 

"What's different?"

 

"Why isn't he being glib anymore? He's not saying anything strange either."

 

"Isn't it good?"

 

"It's good... but I feel a little uneasy about you being like this, it feels strange. Is something on your mind?"

 

Mom frowned, then forced a stiff smile and said in a feignedly friendly tone, "Come on, don't be shy, tell Mom what's going on."

 

"I'm not worried about anything." I thought to myself, you think I'm weird, but I think you're weird too.

 

"You do." My mother raised her eyebrows and glared at me.

 

"I didn't," I said, both amused and exasperated.

 

"You have."

 

"I really didn't."

 

With a loud "bang," Mom slammed her hand on the table, glared at me with wide eyes, and said unequivocally, "You do!"

 

"I have it." I nodded quickly.

 

Mom patted the foot of the bed and said with a smile, "Come on, sit down and tell Mom what's going on."

 

I sighed helplessly and sat down.

 

The mother scolded with displeasure, "Why are you sighing at such a young age?"

 

I don't even know why I sighed. I sat obediently on the bed and waited for a long time, but my mother didn't say anything. She said anxiously, "Tell me, what's on your mind? Tell me. We've known each other for more than ten years. Is there anything you can't tell me?"

 

She glanced at me, clapped her hands, and said, "How about this, don't treat me like your mother today, treat me like your good friend."

 

I couldn't help but make the same face as an old man on the subway looking at his phone, and said with a look of disgust, "Mom, how childish are you? I'm so old, and you're still playing pretend friend games with me."

 

My mother blushed at what I said and slapped me on the head.

 

I covered my head and said pitifully, "Mom, you hit me again. My best friend never hits me."

 

My mother's reaction was clearly instinctive. After hitting me, she regretted it and stroked my head, saying softly, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's a habit, I didn't mean to."

 

"That's not a good habit of yours," I said with a wry smile.

 

We stood there in silence for a moment, then Mom suddenly stood up and said with a smile, "You... you might be embarrassed to speak your mind face to face. I know you care about your image. How about this, come here."

 

As she spoke, she dragged me to the left side of the bed, placed her hands on my shoulders, and forcefully pushed me down onto the bed.

 

I was taken aback and quickly stood up to ask, "What are you doing?"

 

"Lie still and don't move," Mom warned.

 

I lay obediently on my parents' bed. Seeing the slight embarrassment on my mother's face, my heart skipped a beat. Could it be that my mother was going to do something special to relieve my physical needs? Was the plot of an erotic novel about to happen to me?

 

...

 

That's impossible.

 

I looked at my mother with a mixture of nervousness and anticipation. She quickly walked to the other side of the bed and lay down beside me. My heart pounded with anxiety, and I couldn't help but ask, "Mom, what are you going to do?"

 

Mom lay on her back on the bed and said, "Don't look at me like this."

 

I hesitated for a moment, then lay flat on the bed like her, staring straight at the ceiling.

 

Suddenly, my mother's left hand touched my right hand and gently grasped it.

 

My heart skipped a beat. My mother's hands were smooth, warm, and delicate, like soft jade. Her palms were slightly damp, which meant she was a little nervous.

 

"Mom... what... what exactly do you want?"

 

"They say that it's easier to communicate if you don't look at the other person. Now you can tell Mom what's on your mind."

 

So that's how it is. I found my earlier thought laughable, yet I also felt a pang of disappointment.

 

"Tell me... what's on your mind?"

 

"You can say anything from your heart, like things you've wanted to say to me before but were too afraid to."

 

"Want to say it but don't dare to?"

 

I muttered a few words to myself, then suddenly remembered : "If I tell you, please don't be angry or hit me."

 

"How could I hit you? What do you take your mother for? A tigress? Don't worry, just tell me."

 

"Well, I'll say it now. Your singing is really awful. Every time I go to karaoke , it's like a disaster. I really don't want to go singing with you."

 

"You—!" Mom suddenly sat up, glaring at me: "Are you looking for a beating?"

 

When I saw her raise her arm as if to hit me, I quickly covered my head and said, "You said you wouldn't hit me."

 

Mom was stunned. Her raised hand froze in mid-air for a long time before she lowered it, forcing a smile: "I won't hit you. I said I won't hit you, and I won't."

 

Just then, the bedroom door opened, and Dad, seeing the scene inside, was taken aback and asked, bewildered, "What... are you two doing?"

 

Mom glared at her and shouted, "We're having a therapy session right now, don't disturb us, get out of here!"

 

Startled, Dad shrank back, retreated, and slammed the door shut.

 

Mom lay back down, smiling, and said, "The troublesome person is gone, we can continue now. Go ahead and say it."

 

"I've told you everything. This is my only secret. I've always wanted to tell you, but I was afraid you would get angry."

 

"Who told you to say these things?" Mom was both annoyed and amused. "I didn't tell you to talk about me. You were talking about yourself. What do you have... for example, some unspeakable secret or something?"

 

"A secret I can't tell you?" I thought about it. My mother kept leading me in that direction, and I knew what she was worried about. But I felt that I could control this matter myself and didn't need her to worry about it.

 

I rolled out of bed and said to her, "Forget it, I really have nothing to say. I'd rather go back and do two practice tests."

 

After saying that, he got up to leave, but his mother shouted, "Stop! Lie down!"

 

I clicked my tongue, then lay back down helplessly. Not knowing what to say to her, I simply countered, "Since we're having a heart-to-heart talk, you can't just expect me to talk. What secrets do you have that you can't tell us?"

 

"Me?" Mom thought for a moment, a blush rising on her cheeks, and smiled, "I do have a secret."

 

I became a little interested and quickly asked, "What secret? Have you ever cheated on your partner?"

 

"I'll hit you!"

 

I quickly shut my mouth and remained silent for a while. My mother chuckled and whispered, "I... I feel like I need to pee when I'm nervous."

 

I turned to look at her with some surprise. My mother's cheeks were flushed, and she said embarrassedly, "I...I've already told you, even your dad doesn't know this secret."

 

I propped my head up with my hand, lay on my side, and looked at her with interest, laughing as I said, "I thought you were fearless, but it turns out you get nervous too, and even need to pee when you're nervous."

 

The mother's face turned even redder, and she scolded, "Don't laugh! I'm not an AI robot, why wouldn't I be nervous? Let me tell you, I get incredibly nervous every time I go to a parent-teacher conference at school."

 

"What's there to be nervous about at a parent-teacher conference?"

 

"Do you remember when you were in third grade, you set your deskmate's braid on fire? Your homeroom teacher scolded me in front of all the parents in the class, saying that we had no manners and that we parents didn't know how to discipline our children. Ever since then, I've been especially afraid to go to your parent-teacher conferences."

 

I rolled my eyes and tried hard to remember, and it took me a while to recall. I smiled sheepishly and said, "That thing was just a joke. I just wanted to scare her, but it actually caught fire."

 

"You scared her, you touched her hair, and that little girl's dad almost set our car on fire. Your dad and I apologized profusely and begged him to let you go."

 

"That's an exaggeration, it's just kids playing around."

 

"You think it's just playing around, but they think it's school bullying."

 

"Alright, alright, let's not talk about it anymore. It's all ancient history, why bring it up again? I have the utmost respect for women now, I'm a full-fledged feminist now."

 

"Feminism my ass , do you even know what feminism is? You just hear the term and start using it recklessly."

 

"Women's rights and respect for women."

 

Mom scoffed, "Respect women? You touch someone's thigh on the bus, is that respect?"

 

"I've already said I'm innocent."

 

I got impatient and sat up: "If you bring this up again, I'm leaving. We're not talking anymore!"

 

"Okay , okay , I won't mention it, I won't mention it. Lie down."

 

My mother reached out and pulled me back: "It's your turn. I've already told you one of my secrets, and you have to tell one too."

 

I frowned and thought for a long time, trying to come up with a secret I could share with my mom, but I couldn't think of anything. It wasn't that I couldn't tell her, or that there would be no point in telling her.

 

After waiting for a while and seeing that I didn't react, Mom simply asked, "Okay, let me ask you. When... did you and Lu Yiyi start dating?"

 

Without even thinking, I said, "First year of junior high."

 

"First year of junior high school?"

 

The mother was visibly surprised: "You were already in the first year of junior high...?"

 

"Yes, on your birthday that year, you and Aunt Rong got drunk and insisted that we were a young couple. You even forced me to call Aunt Rong 'Mom,' have you forgotten?"

 

Is that true?

 

"Yes, later we started calling each other husband and wife. At first we were just joking around, but somehow we took it seriously. Didn't you and Aunt Rong already know about this?"

 

"Ah...oh!" Mom exclaimed suddenly, "So you're talking about the two of you dating."

 

"Otherwise what? Then what are you talking about?" After saying that, I suddenly realized: "You're talking about that matter."

 

"Yes, that's what I'm talking about."

 

I thought to myself, "Mom is really curious about my bedroom stuff." After a moment's hesitation, I said, "Well... the year before last, when I was a freshman in high school."

 

"So early?" Mom asked, somewhat surprised.

 

"It's not early. I have a classmate who... well... you know, back in junior high. I'm considered late."

 

After a long silence, Mom asked, "Who went first?"

 

"What do you mean, who went first?" I didn't react for a moment.

 

"It's...it's..."

 

After thinking for a long time, Mom finally gritted her teeth and asked, "Who seduced whom first? Was it you, or her?"

 

"It wasn't a matter of who seduced whom first; it was just mutual interaction."

 

"You kids these days are really… precocious."

 

"That's for sure. With information technology so readily available these days, how many kids aren't precocious?"

 

"So...how often do you do it?"

 

I was taken aback, got up , looked at my mother, and said with a mix of amusement and exasperation, "Why would you ask such a private question?"

 

The mother was a little embarrassed, but she still insisted, "I'm your mother, what can't I ask?"

 

"Okay then." I lay back down, thought for a moment, and said, "At first it was three or four times a day, then once a day, and then once every two days."

 

"So frequently?" My mother interrupted me before I could finish speaking.

 

Since we've already laid it all out, I'm not embarrassed at all, and I'll just say it directly: "At first, it was really exciting, and we were practically glued to each other every day. But later, it just felt so-so. Now we usually only meet once a week, maybe twice a week. Mainly because my studies are more demanding than before, and Lu Yiyi isn't that interested in this kind of thing. Unless she really can't resist..."

 

Perhaps the mother didn't know how to respond, and the room fell into an awkward silence.

 

Just as I was wondering if I should change the subject, my mother asked, "What do you mean by... you really can't hold back anymore?"

 

I jumped up and looked at her, saying, "Mom, that's a bit much. How do you want me to answer you?"

 

"No, I just want to ask you, how long will it take before you can't hold back? And what will you do if you can't hold back? Will you go and touch someone's thigh on the bus?"

 

"Why are you bringing this up again? Are you ever going to stop? I can't talk to you anymore." I was practically on the verge of tears.

 

"I'm just worried about you. I'm afraid you'll go astray." Mom started her earnest and heartfelt advice mode again.

 

"Oh dear, how should I put this to you?" I was so anxious I was practically scratching my head. "Don't worry, I definitely won't go astray, okay? I know you care about me, but it feels weird, a little awkward, for a mother and son to talk about this kind of thing. How about this, you let Dad come in and have him check on me, okay?"

 

"Him? Has he ever worried about anything at home?"

 

Mom gave a displeased snort: "A hands-off manager."

 

"Mom, I really have to go back to studying. Let's talk another day, another day." Without waiting for her reply, he got up and ran out, closing the door behind him . He was panting heavily , feeling so suffocated by talking to his mother.

 

My dad came over and asked in a curious whisper, "What are you two talking about?"

 

"secret."

 

"You still have secrets from me?"

 

I laughed and said, "You have secrets too, don't you?"

 

Dad shuddered, nodded, and turned to leave.

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