"Okay, do i have everything ready?" Lorimer asked himself as he calmly checked his side bag and pockets "snacks, games, music, tea container, gadgets, DNA gun, remote controlled bacteria i need to insert into my teacher's body so i can safely use Rick's inception idea to change my teacher's low opinion of me. Okay, i have everything"
You may be wondering "what the heck is going on?"
Well, this goes a while back. Ever since Lorimer started going to highschool there was only one thing bothering him
Okay; two things, but we're not talking about dogs here
No, we're talking about a certain teacher that hated Lorimer for his "not giving a f*k about his opinion"ness. That hatered was...very inconvenient for Lorimer, which is why Lorimer was about to deal with it
Because conveniently, that teacher was Morty's teacher who Lorimer forgot the name of
But instead of dealing with it by giving the teacher respect, he's just gonna leech off of Rick's idea to do the same to Morty
He waited for the first episode of the show before starting to spy on Rick using a small self made bacteria conveniently placed unto Rick's canteen
"Let's go" said Lorimer narrowing his eyes before going out of his room
Then he went downstairs calmly...only to see snuffles
"Holy mother of- *sigh* MORTY! GET YOUR DOG AWAY FROM THE STAIRS! I HAVE PLACES TO GO!" Yelled Lorimer angrily as he took a step back away from the tiny dog
But the one to answer was his mother
"Again?, Lori?" Asked Beth raising a brow as she shook her head in disappointment "it can't hurt you, you can literally jump over it"
"More like, Over my dead body!" Said Lorimer angrily as he put his foot down "I'm not getting close to that hellspawn!"
"Well, you're gonna have to deal with it, because no one is gonna move that dog" said Beth as she walked away calmly
Lorimer stared at his mother's back with a scowl as she walked away. Lorimer sighed before turning to the small dog that was snuffles
The small dog made an adorable bark
"Aww
.
.
.
.
.
I'm taking the window" said Lorimer with a smile
"Okay, why didn't i just take the window in the first place" said Lorimer cheerfully as he descended from his room's window to the ground on a large plant "i mean, i have a plant elevator here and everything. Being related to Rick can be so bloody convenient sometimes"
Lorimer then took a few steps away from the large plant before it hid itself in the ground again
"Good girl" said Lorimer as he nodded in satisfaction after seeing that the plant was no longer visible "now, how do i get the teacher's house? A horse? Too cringey. A T-Rex? Too flashy and a bit cringey. A Pegasus? Cringey. A lion? No, also cringey. Why are all my options so cringey?!...maybe a Griffon? It's badass, not too flashy and can fly, but is it cringey...?"
Lorimer made his decision a few seconds later
He took the bus
"You know how disappointed i am in myself right now? I can bio-engineer dinosaurs and mythological creatures, i even made Pokeballs! Real functioning Pokeballs! Sure; they more like de-age the creature then store it in a liquid that stops aging, but it still counts! I can do all of this! And i travel by bus!" Said Lorimer in frustration as he sat in the bus
"At least you avoided cringeyness" said an old lady with a smile "and that's what matters"
"Thanks, generic old lady on a bus, you understand me" said Lorimer with a smile before the bus stopped "that's my stop, bye!"
The old lady waved as Lorimer left, and as soon as he was out of sight, the lady spoke
"Finally, that loud f*ker is gone" said the lady old before a tiny needle hit her in the side of the neck
"I heard that! And you're gonna regret it!" Said Lorimer as he got on the bus again
"W-what did you d-do?" Asked the old lady as she caressed the place where the needle hit in fear
"I randomized your taste buds, everything is gonna taste different now" said Lorimer angrily
"That...doesn't sound so bad" said the old lady as she tilted her head in confusion
"It's gonna get worse when milk starts tasting like spinach!" Said Lorimer angrily, getting a odd look from the old lady "i did it to myself once."
And 'oh' of realization left the old lady's mouth as she heard that
Lorimer then left the bus
"You can go now" Lorimer told the driver as he frowned before the bus went away into the distance
"Man, i feel like Rick. Are his genes making me petty?" Said Lorimer putting a hand on his chin "meh, probably just puberty"
"Okay, here they are" said Lorimer as he watched Rick and Morty break into the teacher's house and enter his mind "perfect"
Lorimer then broke into the house himself and injected the teacher with a serum
"Now, time to contribute nothing to this adventure" said Lorimer with a smile as one of his eyes lost it's pupil "ugh, it's always weird to be in two different places at once"
Lorimer then left the house and sat back in a nearby place, remotely controlling an avatar (which he gave a blue arrow tattoo like aang) he inserted into the teacher he forgot the name of
What? Did you think he'd enter the guy's mind using his OWN consciousness? Hell no! He ain't getting himself accidentally killed by a freddy kruger reference
It was great idea
Until he was kidnapped
"Hey, can you just wait a minute?" Said Lorimer calmly as he stared into nothingness, completely focused on the avatar with Rick and Morty "I'm kinda in the middle of something and killing a few kidnappers is pretty distracting"
"I think you don't understand the situation you're in" said a guy with a businessman like suit who stood next to two buff guys
He was in a warehouse not too far from the teacher whatever his name was, tied to a chair with a rope
"Actually, i know. I just have better things to do" said Lorimer nonchalantly, still focused on his avatar
"You're gonna die! What's more important than that?!"
"Can you just stop acting like a highschool girl with a crush for five seconds?" said Lorimer calmly before his eye got back it's pupil "There. Done."
Then, the rope tying Lorimer to chair came loose, freeing him
Then Lorimer pulled out a black colored gun with a purple liquid vial inserted into the gun that had an odd mushroom floating inside.
Lorimer then shot at one of the buff guys
The buff guy turned into a werewolf...except lion. A werelion
"Kill the big guy and amputate the other guy's arms" said Lorimer calmly as took a few steps back to not get blood on his clothes
The werelion immediately did as ordered with ease
"Quick question, why did you kidnap me?" Asked Lorimer raising a brow
"W-w-we saw you just lying there a-and we thought you easy m-money"
"Stupid, but i see your point" said Lorimer frowning "even more stupid is why you didn't bother to search my stuff"
"Normal teenagers don't have...what is that thing?!"
"Well. I could do an evil monologue and tell you, but should i bother with a dead man?...nah! Werelion, kill him"
The werelion ended the kidnapper with a bite to neck. Lorimer let out a sigh
"Okay, i got my teacher practically brainwashed, i think. So i guess it's time to head home" said Lorimer smiling before suddenly stopping "...why do i feel like I'm forgetting something important...okay, I've seen enough movies to know to prepare to shoot something. Now, how do i get home?"
He took the bus again (without the werelion sadly)
"*sigh* this is so demeaning"
"Okay, already seeing my entire family, except dad, outside of the house" said Lorimer with his DNA gun (the black gun with purple liquid) ready as he stood in front of his house
Lorimer decided to approach his family and he saw his dad having his head pushed into the ground where a yellow liquid (pee) was by snuffles who had two new friends
And they were all in robot suits
Lorimer took a deep breath
"I'm not gonna wait for this blow by" said Lorimer frowning as he entered the house through his family "okay hellhounds, out of the house!"
Beth saw him and shook her head, signalling for him to stop and back away. Lorimer just ignored his mother
"Lorimer" said Snuffles, who was inside a robot suit, calmly
"Snuffles" deadpanned Lorimer
"That was my slave name, i am now snowba-"
"Cool" said Lorimer as he shot one of the dogs with the DNA gun
The dog soon turned into a hippo (not a werehippo or a dog hippo or something. Just a normal hippo). It's new body broke through the robot suit before standing on all fours
Snowball stared at the hippo that was once his friend in shock
"What did you do to him?" Asked Snowball in shock
"Made him easier to live with"
Snowball stared at his transformed comrade as the hippo approached him slowly
"You remember" said Snowball as he extended his robotic hand to the hippo...only for it to get bitten off "no!"
The two dogs backed away from the hippo slowly
"You're talking to one of the most homicidal things to walk this earth. The only friendship this guy wants have is with a higher body count" said Lorimer calmly as the other dog shot at the hippo after standing in front of snowball protectively
It hurt the hippo a lot, but didn't kill it yet, which prompted the hippo to kill the dog. Both animals died
"What now, snuffball?" Teased Lorimer with a fake smile, he was extremely terrified but he acted through it "also, before anyone asks, i intentionally made that hippo weaker than normal because it was originally a dog. A regular hippo would've most likely survived and one i bio-engineered would've just gotten really pissed off"
Everyone was confused at what was going on and Beth decided to ask Rick
"Dad, why is Lorimer...?"
"Oh, right. You know how I'm the smartest man in the universe?" Said Rick and Beth nodded "Well, *burb* have you ever wondered who the second smartest is?"
Beth didn't reply, she just turned to her son in shock
"You! you will regret thi-" said Snowball as he aimed at Lorimer before vines sprouted from the ground, wrapping themselves around Snowball, destroying his robot suit in the process
"Forgot to tell you, this entire house is a fucking death trap" said Lorimer frowning "never used it in front of you because i knew something like this would happen one day."
"...what are you?" Asked Snowball
Lorimer then silently walked to a wall with a painting and stared at it, giving everyone his back
"My name is Lorimer Smith. I am 15 years old. My house is outside of Seattle, Washington."
"What is he doing?" Asked Summer in confusion
"I don't know" said Beth
Morty and Jerry shrugged
Rick didn't even bother
"I live with five uncultured swines," Said Lorimer calmly, getting frowns from his family "and i am not in a relationship. I am a student at Harry Herpson highschool, and i get back home by 3 PM at the latest"
"Okay, this is stupid" said Summer crossing her arms
Lorimer sighed before he snapped his finger, causing an odd flower to grow in front of Summer. The flower sprayed Summer with with odd particles that caused her to cough
Then go completely silently
She tried to speak, but alas, nothing came out. Realizing what Lorimer just did, they decided to watch Lorimer as he spoke
"I don't smoke, but i occasionally consume harmful processed sugars. I get in bed by 6 AM at the latest, and i make sure to get at least 2 hours of sleep, no matter what."
"This is getting weird. What the heck is he even saying anymore?" Jerry whispered to Beth which was not unheard Lorimer
Lorimer raised his hand, making it look like he's about to snap his fingers which made Jerry shrink away from Lorimer and go silent
"After having a glass of warm milk and doing about 20 minutes of stretches before going to bed, i usually have no trouble until morning. Just like a baby, i wake up without any fatigue or stress"
"Just stop, please!" Said Snowball before the point of a vine as pointy as a needle stared him down, making him go silent
Lorimer then continued
"I was told there were no issues at my last check up. I'm trying to explain that i wish to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how i deal with things, and i know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if i were to fight, i wouldn't lose to anyone"
"Are you *burb* done?" Asked Rick tiredly
"...yesss" said Lorimer calmly, linking the S's to his next sentence "now, does anyone have anything to say before i kill him?"
"W-wait! We don't have to kill him" said Morty standing in front of Snowball "m-maybe we could take off the h-h-helmet or take him to another w-world!"
"Morty, i killed his two comrades! If i let him go, there will always be a chance this hyper intelligent dog would come back for vengeance somehow" said Lorimer frowning "kinda can't let that live on"
Something in Snowball sparked as he heard that
"B-but"
"Morty, it's okay. What Lorimer said has made me realize the consequences of what i did and was going to do, How many lives would be lost from both sides. I'm sorry" said Snowball calmly before turning to Lorimer "do it"
Then, a giant venus flytrap appeared from the ground and ate Snowball
"Now that that's done, how about we talk about a no dog in this house rule?" Said Lorimer with a smile before the giant venus flytrap spat out something directly in front of Lorimer
It was Snowball's half melted skull with a few melted metal stuff
"HOLY SHIT! GET IT AWAY FROM ME! NO NO NO NO NO! F*. WHY DID I PROGRAM THAT PLANT TO DO THIS?!" Yelled Lorimer, terrified of the skull in front if him
"And there's my Lorimer" said Beth with a disappointed expression
"NEW GENETIC MATERIAL ISN'T WORTH THIS!"
In the end, they all got back to their lives and Lorimer was given some strawberry milk and the promise of chocolate milk by Beth to stop Lorimer's whining