Chapter 1 - MERI ZINDAGI KI SBSE BADI GALTI

Meri zindagi mai maine bohot badi galti ki bohot zada badi. Mere khyal se mai jb barah saal ki thi uss time meri life mai ek aise insan ki entry hui jo mere parivar ka member tha but muje uske baare kuch pta nhi tha. Jb voh meri zindagi mai usey ma usi time se pasand thi ya phir attraction tha muje nhi pta. Lekin vo bohot efforts dalta tha muje apna banane k liye muje touch krna, care karna. Jb uss insan ne muje Pehli baar chua to ma bohot zada dr gyi thi maine socha ye baat mai apne mammi papa se bata du. Pr fir muje laga ki meri vajah se rishtey kharab honge ghr Mein jhagde honge mere ghr Vale or mere relatives sb ek dusre Baat nhi krenge. Iss vajah se mai chup reh gyi. Pr voh isaan shant nhi hua mai usey jitna nafrat krti thi voh utna muje uske kareeb aane k liye majboor krta gya. Meri zindagi mein ek aisa time aaya ki maine socha usey ek mouka dena chahiye jbki muje pyar or relationship se bohot dar lgta tha bs uske liye ki usko ek mouka dena chahiye. Yhi maine apne life ki sbse badi glti thi. Bachpan se muje ek bohot buri aadat hai apne baare mein na soch kr dusro ke baare Mein sochna or iska log boht fayeda uthate hai. Mai kuch krne se Pehle apni khushi shod k dusro ki khushi dekhti hu ki saamne vale bura na lage. Bachpan se maine boht struggle kiya or abhi bhi kr rhi hu. Fir uss insan k sath relationship Mein aane k Baad mai boht zada usey manne lgi mtlb totally depends on him emotionally, physically hr tarah se. Hamara relationship 7 saal tk bohot acha chla pr inn saat saalon Mein usne muje kbhi nhi smja mai hamesha uski problems smjti uski kya sbki problem jo mere surroundings mein log thhey or sbki problem ka solution bhi deeya. Par main problem Ye thi ki mere se Kabhi Koi Nahin puchta tha ki Tujhe Kya problem Hai Tujhe Kis chij Se Khushi Hai Tu Kis chiz Se Dukhi Hai Kabhi Nahin poochha Kisi Ne. Mere Khud Ke boyfriend ne bhi Jise Main Itna Jyada time deti thi ki pyar karti thi Yahan tak ki maine use Apne parents se upar Rakha. Maine Hamesha Apne parents ko chhodkar uski Baat Mani Jo usne bola Jo usse Achcha lagta tha Har chij ki uske liye Yahan tak ki mujhe physical touch bhi Nahin Pasand tha maine uske liye vah Bhi Kiya per vah kabhi mere se Khushi Nahin hua yaar. Per usne Mujhse Kabhi poochha hi nahin ki aapki life Mein koi problem toh nhi chl rhi hai aapko kuch chahiye ya nhi kbhi bhi nahi. Saat saal k baad uski Shaadi ki baat chlne lgi or fir sb khatam hone ka dar bhi start ho gya. Main baat toh yeh hai ki uske rishtey ki baat maine ldki maine select ki or engagement bhi karvayi khud apne hathon se. Bs uski engagement k Baad mera uske liye pyar or bdhtaa gya boht zada attach hone lagi mai usse. Pr mai sochti thi ki uski Shaadi k Baad voh apni life mein khush or mai apni. Per yah sab Itna easy nahi tha Jitna Maine Socha Tha. Maine uski Shaadi ka har ritual bade pyar se kiye yaha tk usko uski dulhan ke paas tk shod k aayi. Bs uska behaviour Shaadi k agle din se change. Bhai voh apni biwi ko leke itna possessive ho gaya ki uski har choti choti cheez ka Dhyaan rakhta hai voh apni biwi se aisa behave or Pyaar krta hai jiske liye mai tarsi. Meri haalat aisi hai ki jbse uski Shaadi hui tbse mai physically or mentally itna disturb hui hu ki usey explain nhi kar sakti. Or main baat yeh hai ki meri situation jaanta hai ki mere sath kya ho raha hai pr voh bolta hai ki mai acting kar rahi hu. Yeh chiz sbse zada painful hai. Apni life mein kbhi bhi aise insan ko choose Mt karna jo apki life distroy krde. One rong person totally distroy your life.