The Verdant Realm was everything Maya had hoped for.
As the royal carriage rolled through the towering, glowing silver-wood trees of the Elven Kingdom, she finally let out a relaxed sigh. The air smelled like lavender and ancient magic, and the architecture was a stunning blend of crystal and woven vines.
"See, Leo?" Maya said, applying a layer of SPF 50 sunscreen. "This is what a vacation is supposed to look like. No gloomy stones. No sweaty old kings yelling about demons. Just pure, unadulterated aesthetic."
Leo nodded, leaning back against the plush velvet seats of the carriage in his floral shirt. "Gotta hand it to the elves, they know how to landscape. I'm ready to hit this legendary hot spring and sleep for three days."
The carriage pulled up to the entrance of the Sacred Moonlit Springs, an ultra-exclusive spa carved into the side of a glittering mountain. But instead of a warm welcome, they were met by total chaos.
A battalion of elite Elven Rangers was barricaded outside the spa, their bows drawn and their hands shaking. The Elven Spa Manager was sobbing into a silk handkerchief.
Maya stepped out of the carriage, her oversized sunglasses sliding down her nose. "Excuse me. We have a reservation under 'Saviors of Humanity.' Why is the spa closed?"
The Spa Manager fell to his knees. "O-O Honored Guests! I beg a thousand pardons! A catastrophe has struck! Ignis the World-Burner, the Ancient Calamity of the Dragon Realm, has descended from the peaks! He has claimed the Sacred Springs as his new lair! He breathes localized fire that melts steel! We cannot get near him!"
Just then, a deafening, earth-shattering roar echoed from inside the open-air spa. A massive plume of black smoke and hellfire shot into the beautiful sky, singeing the silver leaves off the trees.
The Elven Rangers braced for death.
Maya just stared at the smoke. Slowly, her expression morphed from relaxed to a level of annoyance so pure it made the surrounding air drop ten degrees.
She turned to Leo. "Hold my tote bag."
"You got it, babe," Leo said, cheerfully taking the designer bag. "Want me to handle the giant lizard, or do you need to vent?"
"I need to vent," Maya growled.
Ignoring the screaming elves who were begging her not to throw her life away, Maya marched right past the barricade. She wore a silk cover-up, designer sandals, and carried a rolled-up glossy magazine she had brought from the airport.
She stepped into the grand, open-air grotto. There, resting in the center of the massive, glowing thermal pool, was Ignis the World-Burner. He was the size of a jumbo jet, his scales glowing with molten magma. His jagged teeth dripped with liquid fire.
He opened one terrifying, reptilian eye and glared at the tiny human woman who dared enter his domain. He opened his massive jaws, preparing to incinerate her into ash.
SMACK!
The sound echoed like a cannon blast.
Maya had blurred across the grotto at a speed that broke the sound barrier, rolling up her magazine and swatting the Ancient Dragon directly on the nose. The sheer, concentrated force of the smack slammed Ignis's massive head into the stone tiles, cracking the foundation of the mountain.
Ignis blinked, his brain rattling in his skull. He let out a confused, high-pitched whimper.
"No," Maya scolded, pointing the rolled-up magazine at him like he was a badly behaved golden retriever. "Bad dragon. I did not travel across dimensions and sit through a fourteen-hour flight to have a giant, scaly swamp-monster ruin my spa day. Move over."
The terrifying Ancient Calamity, a creature that had razed entire cities and eaten armies for breakfast, slowly shimmied to the far corner of the hot spring, tucking his massive wings in tightly to make room. He looked absolutely terrified.
Leo strolled in a minute later, carrying two fresh, brightly colored drinks in coconuts. The Elven guards peeked their heads around the corner, their minds completely broken by the sight.
Maya was floating peacefully in the healing, glowing waters, a mud mask applied perfectly to her face. In the corner, the giant, trembling Dragon of Calamity was carefully using a tiny sliver of his hellfire breath to keep the water at exactly 102 degrees, acting as their personal, subjugated pool heater.
"Ah," Leo sighed, stepping into the water and handing Maya her drink. "Now this is exactly what I was talking about. Good temperature, buddy. Keep it up."
Ignis the World-Burner gave a pathetic little nod, terrified to breathe too hard.
Maya took a sip of her drink, leaning her head back. "Finally. Inner peace."