Ram is ready. He made sure to grind his teeth, oil his pits, and shower himself with the new Dragonbreath Incinerator 300 cologne before he goes out and declares his love for Claire. He picked out the clothes that, to be frank, fitted him much better had he worn them a few years back. His clothes spelled out swag all over it. Quite literally, actually. The letters S, W, A, G are scattered all across the poor shirt, not knowing if it spelled GAWS or SWAG or WAGS or- fuck it whatever let's move on. Oh, yeah. He also wore a headband with cat ears instead of a beanie or some shit to at least cover that greasy excuse of a hair.
…
"Oh Claire." He uttered, as he closed in on a wet, moldy photograph of his beloved, leaning for a kiss.
*plip plap plop*(I imagined this shit in my head, and now you have to read it)"Oh, Claire! You dirty gal!" He excitedly exclaimed as his drool slid down to his throat, before making contact with hairs that shouldn't really be there.
Half an hour passed and this fucking bastard only realized that he is getting late from his meet-up with his one and (hopefully not) only. Honestly he should've forgotten, but what the hell.
He grabbed his fanny pack, a can of white monster, and his $500 glasses from Meta before going out. He immediately hurried to the elevator of his apartment to avoid unwanted gazes from his (imaginary) opps. He succeeded in walking an extra 0.2 miles per hour, but still managed to feel short breath from his 15 feet journey. As he reached the ground floor, the fat fuck, struggling to take another step, decided to make another trip to his floor before going to the ground floor again.
Finally, he is back at the ground floor. He went for his electric scooter that is conveniently placed right next to the elevator. He started the poor thing and began riding it to the cafe a few blocks away. Somehow, this motherfucker is already sweating from all this work.
He arrived at the cafe, somehow earlier than Claire. Doubts immediately flooded his mind.
"Is she coming? What if I misunderstood something?"
No one will blame the lady for doing so, you were tongue fucking a photo of her.
Minutes later, a young, slender, and- oh wow she is gorgeous. Anyways, Claire is here. The young beauty saw Ram sitting by himself looking down at his- he already has food!?
"Ram! It's so nice to see you! What are you doing here?" Claire… asked? Wait, wasn't this a meetup?
"Claire! I knew you'd come, so I decided to also come here." Dude.
"Uhh… That's great?" RUN
"I… uh… just wanted to tell you something."
"… What is it, Ram?"
…
A long, awkward, and a somewhat adorable silence followed through.
"I… liked you. No. I LOVE you! Ever since I saw you defend those overweight guys on Instagram, I vowed to at least express how much I adore you. I know the only interactions we had during high school were the times you would defend me from your boyfriend at the time who would take my homework and copy it. I knew you were this kind from the very beginning, but I only came to realize how genuine you really are when you defended those who were like me." Ram passionately confessed.
Shit, man. That was actually beautiful.
"Oh, Ram…" Claire pitifully expressed, taken aback by how sincere Ram had gotten.
"I know that I have no chance of ever being with you, especially when you're currently dating Manuel. He's a real good guy. I just came here to lay down my feelings for you once and for all.It felt right to say this, especially when all my thoughts were occupied with you. I know that someday, I need to get over this..."
Ram passionately began ranting to Claire. It was all honest and sincere, but it was kind of hard to listen to since you can hear his drool shoot out with every consonant spoken.
…
"Ram, can I tell you something?" Claire, gracefully asked.
"I've always thought you were a little creepy."Damn
"Oh-"
"But you've always been very kind." Claire quickly cut Ram off.
"I've always seen you as someone who would do everything to ensure that no one gets hurt, even when it compromises your own reputation. That's probably why I thought you were creepy, haha… You would follow Steph to her house just to- I assume- make sure she didn't get followed by Antoine after their messy breakup."
"Wait, how'd you kno-"
"We were neighbors."
Both shared a moment of laughter. It was a moment of understanding for two people who cared for each other, one way or another.
"Honestly, I was scared that you'd be disgusted by me."
"I'm sorry if I were to say this to you like this, but I kind of was. I only lightened up because you were so honest with me, unlike other men."
Straight for the throat.
"Hey! Can we be friends? I know you told me you like me romantically, but I think it's a lot healthier for the both of us to continue a connection like this. I hope you won't expect any more than this for me, because I can't provide it."
"Sounds fun, actually. I knew from the very beginning that I had no chance that I prayed you would suggest this."
"Awesome. Shall we have some food?"
And thus the two shared a coffee and some pastries.
…
As dusk settles in, the two parted ways for their homes. In opposite directions they walk, but towards the same light. The two found each other when they needed it. Love was born. Bare, naked, and small but still love nonetheless. Who knew? Being honest actually works out in some way.
…
As Ram had reached his house, he plugged in his Meta glasses to his computer and began pleasuring himself to the video of Claire he took.
He then blocked her on everything.
Yeah, fuck this guy.