"I like you, gege."
Nine simple words filled with affection, yet when they reached Shen Kuangye's ears, they sounded like a thunderclap.
(T/N: For those who are confused. The original Chinese sentence "我喜欢的是你呀,哥哥" has nine characters: 我 / 喜 / 欢 / 的 / 是 / 你 / 呀 / 哥 / 哥. In Chinese narration, characters are sometimes counted as "words," so the author describes it as "nine words.")
He almost couldn't believe what he had just heard.
Lu Xiangyang… liked him?
Shen Kuangye wanted to convince himself that the "like" Lu Xiangyang meant was just the kind of liking between friends. But when he saw the shy yet hopeful look in Lu Xiangyang's eyes, he couldn't lie to himself anymore.
No matter how slow he was, he couldn't fail to feel the burning affection from the person in front of him.
Lu Xiangyang really liked him.
He opened his mouth. After a long silence, the only thing he managed to say was:
"You're still young. Maybe you don't really understand what liking someone means."
But saying that sounded too condescending, too hurtful—as if he were casually devaluing someone else's feelings.
Still… how could Lu Xiangyang like him?
Shen Kuangye couldn't understand.
Lu Xiangyang's heart had already grown cold during Shen Kuangye's silence.
When he heard the answer, the smile on his face almost fell apart.
"I understand."
Lu Xiangyang said softly, "I know what liking someone means."
He didn't understand why Shen Kuangye, who was roughly the same age as himself—would say something like you're still young, as if he were several years older.
Even adults reject people politely.
Lu Xiangyang understood what he meant.
"Gege Kuangye… you really don't like me?"
Lu Xiangyang lifted his reddened eyes to look at him. Tears were already swirling in them.
Shen Kuangye looked away, not daring to meet those sorrow-filled eyes.
His silence was already the clearest answer.
Lu Xiangyang's face turned pale.
"Then you…" He choked up. "When you secretly hugged me at night, held my hand, and even made me only call you 'gege'… was that also because you didn't like me? If you don't like me, then why did you do those things?"
Shen Kuangye's lips moved.
"Hugging you was because I was worried you'd fall off the bed. Holding your hand was because your hands were cold—I wanted to warm them. And making you call me gege was because…"
He stopped.
Everything before could be explained.
But what about this one?
Why did he only allow Lu Xiangyang to call him "gege"?
Why, Shen Kuangye?
Lu Xiangyang's heart had already gone completely numb.
So all the care and closeness all this time… had just been him being overly sentimental.
Shen Kuangye didn't like him at all.
He had simply imagined too much.
Lu Xiangyang even began to regret confessing tonight. If he hadn't blurted it out in the heat of the moment, wouldn't it have been better to keep living in that dream?
Now the dream had shattered.
How humiliating.
"Sorry."
Lu Xiangyang said with difficulty.
"I misunderstood."
The atmosphere in the room was suffocating. Lu Xiangyang couldn't bear it. Just as he tried to get out of bed, Shen Kuangye pressed him back down.
"You're still injured. Rest properly—don't move around."
Shen Kuangye tried to make his voice sound calm.
"I have something to do. I'm going out for a bit."
It was already eleven at night.
What could he possibly have to do?
Lu Xiangyang thought in despair that perhaps Shen Kuangye simply didn't want to stay in the same room with him anymore.
After Shen Kuangye closed the door, Lu Xiangyang buried his face into the pillow and his shoulders began to tremble.
Outside the door, Shen Kuangye leaned against the wall, staring blankly ahead. He could still hear Lu Xiangyang's muffled sobs.
After a long time, he suddenly raised his hand and slapped himself hard across the face.
Shen Kuangye, what are you doing?
Lu Xiangyang's tear-reddened eyes seemed burned into his mind.
He couldn't shake them away.
In the end… he had still made him cry.
Shen Kuangye sighed and slowly sat down outside the door.
He had never imagined Lu Xiangyang would fall for him.
How could Lu Xiangyang like him?
Why did it have to be Lu Xiangyang?
Shen Kuangye kept questioning himself.
Lu Xiangyang's accusations were still echoing in his ears.
Yes… if he wasn't interested, then why did he hug him every night?
Why hold his hand?
The reasons Shen Kuangye gave sounded perfectly logical—but only he knew they weren't the whole truth.
He lowered his head and closed his eyes.
—
Everyone in EAR noticed that the two youngest members of the team seemed to have had a fight.
The most obvious change was that they barely talked during meals anymore. Shen Kuangye no longer picked food for Lu Xiangyang, no longer reminded him to drink water every day, and during scrims the two stayed silent.
They also played ranked matches even more fiercely and trained harder, often staying up until late at night as if venting something.
As for nighttime…
Shen Kuangye had already asked Xing Xing if he could move to the third floor.
There was a small room on EAR's third floor. But because it was high up and cluttered with storage, no one usually bothered cleaning it, so it had been abandoned.
When Shen Kuangye made the request, Xing Xing frowned.
"Did you and Xiangyang have a fight?"
Shen Kuangye was silent for a few seconds.
"…Is it that obvious?"
"The whole club noticed, okay? Li Shu and the others were asking me about it last night." Xing Xing sighed. "What happened? You can tell me. You're teammates—if there's a knot between you, you can't just leave it like that."
"I know," Shen Kuangye said. "This time… it's my fault. I hurt him."
"Then go apologize," Xing Xing said. "Xiangyang doesn't hold grudges. He's easy to coax."
Shen Kuangye knew very well how easy Lu Xiangyang was to coax.
But now he didn't know from what position he could go and explain things to him.
Explain why he couldn't like him.
"I understand," Shen Kuangye said.
---
When he returned to the bedroom to pack his things, Lu Xiangyang was lying on the bed.
His injuries hadn't fully healed yet, and sitting too long still hurt, so after training he would usually lie on the bed.
When he saw Shen Kuangye come in, he froze slightly but said nothing.
Only when Shen Kuangye finished packing his clothes and charger and was about to leave did Lu Xiangyang finally ask:
"Where are you going?"
"I'll be living upstairs from now on."
Shen Kuangye looked back at him.
"I'm sorry for making you unhappy lately."
He didn't know how to explain it.
He couldn't respond to Lu Xiangyang's feelings.
Maybe cutting things off early would be better for both of them.
---
But that night, lying in the newly cleaned room upstairs, Shen Kuangye couldn't sleep.
He kept tossing and turning.
For some reason, he suddenly remembered the kiss Lu Xiangyang had given him that night.
Unconsciously, he lifted his hand and gently touched the spot.
Then he lightly pressed his lips against his own hand.
Shen Kuangye felt like he must be losing his mind.
---
Meanwhile, Lu Xiangyang also couldn't sleep.
Every night he lay alone in bed.
In the middle of the night, he would subconsciously reach out to the empty space beside him.
Then he would sit up, open the game, and invite whoever was still awake to practice with him.
And the next morning he would wake up early again.
Over and over like this.
---
Later that week, Lu Xiangyang met the player called Xiao Yang in person.
"Hello. I'm Xiao Yang. My real name is Shen Luoyu."
The young man wore a simple white cotton T-shirt and black trousers, yet his handsome, refined features stood out easily.
Lu Xiangyang joked softly,
"I thought you were going to say your name was Xiao Shenyang."
Shen Luoyu laughed.
"I was worried you'd think my car looked too flashy."
He opened the door to a sleek sports car decorated with a Seer-themed design.
Lu Xiangyang's eyes lit up.
"Wow… this car is so cool."
"Get in," Shen Luoyu said warmly. "I'll take you for a ride."
Lu Xiangyang climbed in excitedly, looking around curiously.
Shen Luoyu leaned over to fasten his seatbelt.
"Alright."
Lu Xiangyang froze slightly at the sudden closeness.
He didn't notice the gaze watching from afar.
Shen Kuangye stood in the distance, silently watching the car drive away.
At some point, Cheng Rang appeared beside him.
"Wow," he said with a click of his tongue. "You pushed him away, and now you're standing here looking heartbroken?"
Shen Kuangye's face went cold.
"Have you said enough?"
Cheng Rang didn't back down.
"Well, am I wrong? That guy is gentle, has a supercar, and doesn't make people cry. Way better than someone who can't even face his own feelings."
Then he added casually,
"Oh—sorry. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about a friend."
Shen Kuangye turned to leave.
But Cheng Rang called out behind him:
"If you really didn't like him, why stand here watching for so long?"
"Shen Kuangye… don't be a coward."