Author's Note:
My head, as usual, is full of ideas, I often try to ignore them, some remain in the background, others closer to the surface.
Eventually I no longer had any support for my mind's randomly conjuring up a scene of Mash Kyrielight trying to stop her Senpai from traumatizing Ron Weasley, all during a class focused on demonology.
Yes, I have a messy mind and a vivid imagination.
XXX
Story Title: The Dark Classroom - Hogwarts: Detective, Huntress, Paladin
Plot: Dumbledore needs to find a new teacher for DADA quickly, or Dolores Umbridge will take over. Luckily, his old friend, Zelretch, knows some worthy candidates.
Silent chooses the strongest of the list, not knowing that he is a direct descendant of Morgan Le Fay and Merlin, and that his entourage consists of a Demi-Servant with a shield, Seven Heroic Spirits, and for the occasion, the Twin Sister who is a Demon Huntress.
Harry Potter Year 5 will be unique, filled with shocking things, ranging from the wonderful to the horrifying.
XXX
Story Arc: Welcome to Hogwarts
Episode 1: A teacher for the DADA class
Chapter 1: Dumbledore and Zelretch
Plot: Albus Dumbledore has a problem: he can't find anyone willing to take on the position of Professor of DADA. Fortunately (or unfortunately), an old friend of his, Zelretch, has heard of his problem and wants to help.
So he offers him the files of splendid candidates who could become the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers in Hogwarts' history. Dumbledore chooses the best (and most unstable) among them.
XXX
POV Narrator
August 13, 1995, Hogwarts, Scotland, Earth-1965.
In the office of the President of Hogwarts, the "wisest" and most powerful Wizard of this age is facing a problem he cannot solve.
This Wizard's name is Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, or Albus Dumbledore for short.
Headmaster Dumbledore is an old man of 114 years, but he looks about seventy; Wizards live longer than the average person.
Physically, Dumbledore is a tall, slender man with long, silvery hair and a beard. Characterized by piercing blue eyes and a hooked nose, he wears a long wizard's robe.
Some might say that this individual is an imitation of Gandalf or someone who believes too much in the archetype of the wise and old Wizard, inspired by Merlin.
Clearly, the Wizards and Witches of this world have no idea what the mythical Merlin is really like.
Dumbledore sits at his desk, pondering how to solve his problem, finding a teacher for the subject of Defense Against the Dark Arts, aka DADA.
On paper it seems like a small problem, surely in the entire Wizarding World there is a Wizard or a Witch who wants to teach in one of the ten most prestigious internationally known schools of magic.
This would be true if we were talking about any other teaching subject, but no one wants the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.
Because in 1970, a certain "Dark Lord" cursed the position of Professor of DADA so that no one could hold the position for more than a single school year.
The circumstances of their departure were always different, but they no longer taught in the same way, and as such, the subject had many teachers over the years, some were good, some were terrible.
In short, in 25 years, 25 teachers have come to a bad end, making the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher unattractive.
Normally, Dumbledore would somehow find someone willing to take on the position, for one reason or another.
Cornelius Fudge, the Minister for Magic, who is following his delusions and paranoia about how Dumbledore wants to overthrow him and take over his office, is using his position to convince qualified professors not to accept the job.
Cornelius Fudge, Britain's Minister for Magic, instead of accepting the reality of the Dark Lord's return, is pursuing his delusions and paranoia about how Dumbledore plans to overthrow him and take over his office.
To prevent this scenario, which exists only in his head, Cornelius Fudge is using his position and connections to convince qualified people not to accept the job.
A much easier task than expected.
"Where am I going to find a competent teacher outside of Fudge's influence?" mutters Dumbledore, stroking his long beard.
The Headmaster of Hogwarts is planning what the Minister of Magic is up to: keep potential teachers away so he can issue his Educational Decree.
The Decree stated that in the event that the Headmaster was unable to provide a candidate for a teaching post, the British Ministry of Magic had the power to appoint a suitable person.
'If I don't find someone in less than three weeks, Fudge will send that despicable woman, Dolores Umbridge, to teach DADA, but, in reality, she will act as a spy and sabotage the students' education,' Dumbledore thinks bitterly, unable this time to pull a hidden ace from his sleeve.
At that moment, there was a knock on the door of Dumbledore's office.
"You may come in, Minerva." said Dumbledore, waiting to see Professor of Transfiguration, Minerva McGonagall, enter.
Instead, an imposing, elderly man entered the office of the Headmaster of Hogwarts.
This individual has a pale complexion, stern features, and a well-groomed white beard.
His eyes are piercing and reflect the wisdom and eccentricity of someone who knows too much.
He wears an elegant and formal suit reminiscent of the aristocratic style of the nineteenth century, accompanied by a dark cape.
This individual's name is Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, but almost everyone simply calls him Zelretch.
Dumbledore stands up at the sight of Zelretch, their faces showing surprise and happiness.
"Old friend, what a pleasant surprise to see you," said Dumbledore, not seeing Zelretch for five years.
"We normally meet once every seven years, but I heard you're having a problem, so I came earlier than usual," Zelretch said, greeting his old friend.
When Albus Dumbledore was young, he met Zelretch through a mutual friend of theirs, Nicolas Flamel.
Dumbledore received some very useful advice from Zelretch, which helped him get through his formative years at Hogwarts with flying colors.
Of course, Dumbledore notices that Zelretch hasn't aged a day since they first met, but he always decided not to ask questions, not wanting to lose his oldest friend.
"If, by any chance, you wish to volunteer as a DADA teacher, the position is yours." said Dumbledore, knowing that Zelretch is more than qualified.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've stopped performing in the spotlight. I prefer to watch the show with the audience, although I do occasionally lend a little help to actors who are struggling or who show great potential." Zelretch said, not being a prominent figure.
"So, how do you want to help me?" Dumbledore asks curiously, not knowing what Zelretch might do, he has always been an unpredictable individual.
"I hear you're looking for a tutor for the subject Defense Against the Dark Arts? Well, you don't have to look any further; I have some promising candidates for the position." Zelretch said, pulling a yellow folder filled with documents and photographs from his cloak.
Hearing these words, a sweet, devious smile appears on the old Headmaster's face.
'I wonder what Fudge will do when he finds out his plan has been ruined without me having to do anything.' Dumbledore thinks, enjoying the simple pleasures of life.
Zelretch tossed the folder onto the Headmaster's desk, which opened to the first page without missing a single sheet.
"The Prime Candidate, a True Teacher, the weakest of the candidates, but his true talent is realized as a teacher, being the best at detecting the hidden talents of others and training them." Zelretch said, providing a small introduction.
Dumbledore looks at the file that discusses the first candidate, although several pieces of information have been blacked out, offering a superficial introduction to the individual.
"Lord El-Melloi II, Waver Velvet, Half-blood, would definitely be a Hufflepuff. He is the head of the Velvet family, who have practiced magic for three generations. An expert in Modern Magical Theory. He doesn't accept many students, but all of his graduates have achieved a high degree of prestige, in less than a decade, without exception." Zelretch said, offering more information on the Prime Candidate.
Dumbledore nods, gesturing for Zelretch to continue.
Maintaining a cheerful demeanor, Zelretch pulls out a second file, a red folder with a white cross on it, larger than the first file.
"The Second Candidate I offer you is a Witch, her name is Rin Tohsaka, she comes from Japan, she is a Pure-blood, Head of the Tohsaka Family, who has practiced magic for six generations." Said Zelretch, as he hands the file to the Headmaster of Hogwarts.
'A foreign witch, she seems a little young, but I see she has excellent grades.' Dumbledore thinks, as he looks at a picture of Rin Tohsaka.
"She's one of my very few successful students, a prodigious witch, give her decades of time and the right motivation and she might surpass you. But she comes in a pack of three," Zelretch said, being a little blamed.
"What does that mean?" asks Dumbledore, raising an eyebrow.
"Rin is accompanied by two individuals wherever she goes." Zelretch said, gesturing with his hand.
Rin's file opens to a subsection dedicated to a certain red-haired hero and a certain King of Knights.
"The first is her Assistant/Apprentice/Lover, Shirou Emiya. The boy is a Muggle-born, a Gryffindor without a doubt. The second is her bodyguard, Artoria Pendragon." Zelretch said, leaving out much about Rin's two partners.
"Pendragon, like King Arthur?" asks Dumbledore, having never heard of a living person bearing this ancient surname.
"I can't spill other people's secrets, but you may or may not be connected to King Arthur in some way." Zelretch said, knowing when to speak, remain silent, or be vague.
"As I've always suspected, Zelretch only appears before extraordinary people." Dumbledore thinks, lowering his gaze and memorizing Artoria Pendragon's appearance in the photograph. Perhaps one day it will come in handy.
"Rin is a brilliant woman, but she's young and has never taught a whole class. Her family is cursed with the habit of making a trivial mistake or oversight at the most crucial moment of a perfectly planned plan," Zelretch said, providing more information about his student.
"Shirou is a good man, but his talent in magic in general is atrocious; the only thing he's good at is transmutation." Zelretch continues speaking, offering only half-truths.
"As for Artoria, she is a knight in shining armor in the truest sense of the word and can wield a sword like no other. But she has never held a wand and will not be of much use in teaching the students the proper use of magic." With these words, Zelretch concludes the introduction of the Second Candidate and his associates.
Headmaster Dumbledore closes the second file and touches his long beard.
"Do you have any other candidates to suggest?" asks Dumbledore, certain that his old friend knows more than two qualified individuals.
"I could tell you about Gudako, Hakuno, Sieg, or Sigma, but none of them are exactly suited to being a teacher in a real classroom, with textbooks and all," Zelretch said, mentioning names whose meanings only he knows.
The Headmaster of Hogwarts wisely does not ask who these people are.
"So you only have two candidates?" asks Dumbledore, looking almost disappointed in Zelretch.
Who knows if this is a real disappointment or just one of the many tricks of the Hogwarts Headmaster.
"Not exactly, I still know of one fully capable individual for the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, but I don't think he's a good fit for Hogwarts." Zelretch said, hesitating to propose the third and final suitable and available candidate.
"Zelretch, with all due respect, I am the Headmaster of Hogwarts, it is up to me to decide which of your candidates gets the job." Said Dumbledore, having that power of decision.
"Are you sure you want to hear about my third candidate?" Zelretch asks with a small, mischievous smile.
"If Walter is a low-caliber pistol, and Rin is an anti-ship missile, this one is a nuclear bomb," Zelretch said, comparing the raw power of his acquaintances.
Dumbledore touches his temple with his hand, he has a feeling that he will be part of a long conversation.
"Zelretch, introduce me to all the candidates again." Dumbledore said politely.
"The first candidate is Waver Velvet, a Wizard weak in body and magic, but highly intelligent and a skilled teacher." Zelretch said, giving a brief summary of El-Melloi II.
"Second candidate is Rin Tohsaka, a strong, brilliant, and talented witch, inexperienced as a teacher, but she learns quickly, her family curse is manageable. With her, he gets Shirou Emiya and Artoria Pendragon," Zelretch said, speaking highly of his student.
"Third candidate, Bruce Bel Bahamut Belmont, a Pure-blood with an unparalleled pedigree. Head of the family and heir to three ancient families, each with its own distant heritage." Zelretch said, beginning to speak of the one who is compared to an atomic bomb.
"23rd head of the ancient Morgan family, who are said to be descendants of very powerful Wizards and Witches, dating back to the time of Merlin." Zelretch said, without specifying who the two founders of this magical lineage are.
'Nothing new about Pure-bloods, but only a few can claim such a long line of Wizards and Witches.' Dumbledore thinks, listening to his old friend.
"The 31st head of House Belmont, who specialize in killing monsters, especially vampires. Those who bear the name Belmont have roughly 1,000 years of history behind them and one of the finest collections of books on how to combat creatures of the night." Zelretch explains the third candidate's heritage, which makes him uniquely qualified to be a DADA teacher.
"The families who deal with such creatures have almost entirely disappeared. Having such a specialist would be a rare and unique opportunity," Dumbledore thinks, pleasantly surprised by this information.
"Finally, the 51st head of the Bahamut family, who bears the title of Archduke of the island of Sekiryu. This family is made up of scholarly hermits, with a dedication bordering on obsession towards astrology, precious stones, ancient magic, and dragons." Zelretch said, speaking of his candidate's ultimate legacy, without going into detail.
"A pedigree that would make the Malfoys jealous, but I'm interested in his abilities." said Dumbledore, not being one to look only at the surname and what it entails.
"He is strong, brilliant, and talented, skilled in battle, academia, politics, and business. On paper, he is the perfect scion every Pure-blood family dreams of having," Zelretch said, gesturing exaggeratedly with his hands.
"Too good to be true, what's the flaw?" asks Dumbledore, knowing that no one is perfect.
"He is a complicated individual, highly eccentric, blunt to the point of insensitive, shameless, audacious, demanding, perfectionist, workaholic, paranoid, Machiavellian, and monarchist," Zelretch said, describing the so-called "perfect scion" in a few words.
"He has a gambling problem, serious issues with the Orthodox Apostolic Church, and a strained relationship with the Catholic Church. He's an adrenaline junkie and enjoys extreme sports, such as cage fighting, high-speed racing, and hunting dangerous and deadly creatures," Zelretch said, adding the most questionable traits about the third candidate.
Dumbledore stands for a long moment trying to imagine what kind of character this Belmont is.
"Anything else to say about him?" asks Dumbledore.
"He's never alone." Zelretch replies, with a mischievous smile, preparing in advance for a prank that may never happen.
"What does that mean?" asks Dumbledore, raising an eyebrow.
"You'll understand if you decide to meet him." Zelretch said, still maintaining his mischievous expression.
"Could you please try harder, Zelretch?" Dumbledore asks, hoping his old friend would put aside his mischievous side at least for a little while.
"Waver works full-time as a teacher. Rin is a scholar who works on her research when she's not taking my private lessons. Belmont leads a double life as a Consulting Detective and Private Detective, helping the Muggle Police by day and helping members of the magical community by night, as if he were a Pseudo-Auror," Zelretch said, looking serious enough to list the candidates' current professions.
Dumbledore smiles, happy to have gained more useful information to help him decide who to hire.
"I definitely had a lucky break with Zelretch. Now I'm spoiled for choice." Reflects Dumbledore, accustomed to Zelretch's antics, which is a good sign.
When Zelretch gets serious, it means big trouble is imminent.
"Which of them would accept the position of Professor of DADA, knowing the risk of the curse?" asks Dumbledore, wanting to know how each candidate will react to the proposal and the danger.
"Lord El-Melloi II, if I ask, he will surely accept it, he is used to ending up in dangerous situations." Zelretch said, knowing that Waver cannot refuse, or he risks angering Reines El-Melloi Archidorte.
"Rin, as my student, would hardly reject me and would find it interesting to find a way to break the class curse," Zelretch said, knowing the red-clad witch quite well.
Zelretch's serene expression became more contemplative.
"Belmont, it's hard to say; he only takes jobs he finds interesting, or that pay with stuff he likes, or when the situation is desperate. But he certainly won't be afraid of a simple curse," Zelretch said, making no promises, knowing he's a difficult character to handle.
"In fact, knowing him, Belmont will first break the curse, then he will start harshly criticizing all the flaws he finds in that curse, and finally, he will find Tom Riddle and show him how a real curse is done." Zelretch declares, picturing the scenario in his head.
The old wizard holds back his laughter.
"If you were me, who would you choose?" asks Dumbledore, asking his old friend one last question before making his decision.
"It depends on what I want," Zelretch answers honestly.
"If I simply wanted a teacher to fill the position for a year, I would choose Waver Velvet." Zelretch said, confident that El-Melloi II could do a fine job as DADA Professor, even if it wouldn't be the best sight to see.
"If I needed something more than a teacher, like a trio of heroes, Rin, Shirou, and Artoria would be perfect. The students would be safe and have three role models to emulate," Zelretch said, quite inclined to use this trio to solve various problems or stir the pot in the right way.
"But if you want to turn the tables, teach students serious things they won't find anywhere else, and put a spoke in the wheels of the Ministry and the Death Eaters, I'd choose Belmont. He's born to seek out and destroy any kind of plot or conspiracy he sniffs out," Zelretch said, treating the third candidate less like a teacher and more like a tireless hunting hound, who is related to Cerberus.
Dumbledore clasps his hands together, putting on a thoughtful expression, beginning to ponder his decision on the matter.
"Whatever Dumbledore chooses, I've already gotten what I wanted. The mere fact that he's making a choice will create three unprecedented new timelines for this world and countless ramifications that I want to witness," Zelretch thinks, extremely happy to have put such a "spectacle" into motion.
"Waver Velvet seems like a good teacher, but the curse is becoming more dangerous with each year. I wouldn't want to deprive another school of its best teacher," Dumbledore thinks, not wanting to see another good man ruined by that curse.
'This Rin Tohsaka and her Assistants might be fine, surely they can't do worse than Quirinus Quirrell, Gilderoy Lockhart, Bartemius Crouch Junior.' Thinks Dumbledore, very close to choosing this trio.
[Author's Note: Maybe one day I could write a story about Rin Tohsaka as a DADA teacher, aided by Shirou Emiya and Artoria Pendragon.]
"But the idea of teaching Fudge a little lesson is very tempting," Dumbledore thinks, bringing out his devious side.
"Zelretch, do you assure me that this Belmont is the equivalent of an Auror and has enormous experience against dangerous creatures and dark magic?" asks Dumbledore, ready to make one of the best and worst decisions of his life as Headmaster of Hogwarts.
"I swear on what you want, Belmont is the perfect combination of Sherlock Holmes, Abraham Van Helsing, and John Constantine," Zelretch said, unable to keep the huge grin from spreading across his face.
The old wizard can only imagine the trouble that will occur within the walls of Hogwarts in the coming school year.
"How can I contact this Belmont?" asks Dumbledore, wishing to receive some contact information.
"Forget it, I'll take you to meet him in person here and now." Zelretch said, grabbing Dumbledore's hand.
"Here, Dumbledore, we're about to arrive in Boston (on Earth-2126)." Zelretch declares, before using his Second True Magic, Kaleidoscope.
In a flash of multicolored light, Dumbledore and Zelretch disappeared, leaving the office completely empty.
Continues ...
XXX
Author's Note:
I decided to stop chapter one here.
The moment when Dumbledore meets the future professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts and his many associates will happen in the next chapter.