Bella Pov
I stood in front of a small apartment building. The building was old and the paint was peeling. It was nothing like the luxury penthouse I used to live in. But it was mine. And it was far away from Damian and everything that reminded me of him.
I unlocked the door and walked into my new apartment. It was tiny. Just one bedroom and a small kitJake and a bathroom. The floors were scratched. The walls were yellow from age. But the rent was cheap and that was all that mattered now.
I set down the two boxes I carried. Everything I owned fit into my car. Just clothes and books and a few personal items. I left everything else behind. The furniture. The decorations. The expensive gifts Damian bought me. All of it reminded me of him.
I walked to the window and looked outside. The view was just other apartment buildings and a busy street. Nothing special.
But it was mine.
My phone rang. My modeling agent.
"Hello" I answered.
"Bella hi" Marcus said. "How are you doing"
"I am okay" I lied. "What is up"
"Listen I have some...not great news" Marcus said. "The Chanel campaign...they decided to go in a different direction"
My stomach dropped.
"Okay" I said quietly. "What about the Vogue shoot next month"
Marcus was quiet for a second. "They also decided to pass"
"Pass" I sat down on the floor. "Both of them"
"I am so sorry Bella" Marcus said. "I tried to convince them but...they said they want to avoid any drama"
"Drama"
"Word got out about you and Damian" Marcus said gently. "About the divorce. About the cheating. Some of these brands...they do not want to be associated with scandal"
"I did not cheat" I said. "He did"
"I know that" Marcus said. "But in this industry perception is everything. And right now the perception is messy"
"So what do I do" I asked. "I need work Marcus. I need money"
"I know" Marcus said. "I am working on some smaller campaigns. Local stuff. It will not pay as much but it is something"
"How much less"
"Maybe a quarter of what you are used to making"
I closed my eyes. A quarter. That was barely enough to live on.
"Okay" I said. "Send me whatever you can get"
"I will" Marcus said. "And Bella...this will blow over eventually. In a few months people will move on to the next scandal. You just have to hang in there"
"Thanks Marcus" I said and hung up.
I sat on the floor. No job. No money. No husband.
I stood up and walked to the small grocery store down the street.
I walked through the aisles picking up cheap items. Ramen noodles. Bread. Peanut butter.
I walked back. I climbed the three flights of stairs. I unlocked my door.
I boiled water and made ramen noodles. I sat on the floor and ate from the pot. No table. No chair. Nothing.
This was my life now. Eating cheap food on the floor of a tiny apartment.
I finished eating and felt my stomach turn. The nausea came fast. It rolled through my body in waves.
I ran to the bathroom and threw up. My whole body shook. Sweat dripped down my face.
When it was over I sat back against the wall. My mouth tasted awful. My throat burned and hurt.
I stood up on shaky legs and rinsed my mouth at the sink. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked terrible. My face was pale and drawn. My eyes had dark circles under them that would not go away.
I walked back to the living room and lay down on the floor. I thought about the nausea. It had been happening for a few days now. I thought it was just stress. Just my body reacting to the divorce.
But a small voice in the back of my head said something else. Something that made my heart race faster.
I thought about the last time I had my period. I tried to remember carefully. Three weeks ago. Maybe four weeks. Maybe even longer than that. I could not remember exactly.
No. It could not be that. We had been trying for months with no success. The doctor said we needed treatments. Expensive treatments we could not afford at the time.
But what if something changed.
What if the month before everything fell apart we had gotten lucky. What if all that trying finally worked at the worst possible time. What if I was pregnant now.
"No" I said out loud to the empty apartment. "No no no"
I could not be pregnant. Not now. Not when everything was falling apart. Not when I was getting divorced.
But the nausea. The tiredness. The way my breasts felt sore. All the signs were there.
I sat up and hugged my knees to my chest. Fear ran through my body. But also something else. Something tiny. A little bit of hope.
What if I was pregnant. What if after all this time I was finally going to have a baby. What if something good could come from all this pain.
But then I thought about Damian. If I was pregnant that meant his baby. That meant I could never fully leave him. That meant we would be connected forever.
I did not know if I could handle that. I did not know if I could raise a child with a man who betrayed my trust so badly.
I stood up and paced the small living room back and forth. I needed to know for sure. I needed to take a test and find out the truth.
But it was late, almost midnight. The stores were all closed by now.
I walked to my bedroom. Just a mattress on the floor with one pillow and one thin blanket. I lay down and pulled the blanket over my body carefully.
I put my hand on my stomach, maybe not empty. Maybe there was a tiny life growing inside me right now.