The familiar scent of the room enveloped Caden adding an extra blanket of comfort with Morgan Wallen's music. If he could, he would have spent his entire day lying on the wooden, carpeted floor of his room. the serenity and calm, the rustling of leaves from the sun filtering window. It all could be warmer if not for the constant nag of the sharp knocks on the door. Caden's eyelids fluttered, the pinkish blonde strands fell into his eyes. He sat up and ran a hand through the back of his hair, groaning as he pulled the headphones off. ''I heard you the first time.'' caden replied in a sluggish, obviously annoyed voice. The door swung open and a head popped inside through the opening with the silliest of grins, ''You did? Then I suppose it hurts your delicate throat to answer.''
Robin stepped inside without further ado, leaving the door wide open, Caden's brow furrowed but he didn't say much and it was enough an invitation for robin to plop on his bed with a loud bounce. But even if caden had said something, it wouldn't have stopped robin. Caden scratched the back of his head as he saw the look robin was giving him. ''Just say it already. What's the suspense for?" caden said as he grabbed a pillow from the bed, squeezing it in his arms that didnt go unnoticed. ''You still have that with you? You plan on passing this to your kid or somethin' its most probably growing mold by now.''
''What're you here for?'' caden asked ignoring the usual nag about his decade old hot pink pillow. Robin's grin widened, ''Professor Ardent appreciated my piece. He even praised it in front sir Hassel and sir Michael.'' He beamed, ''With this I'm certain my music will be featured in sir Julian's next recital.'' Robin paused and sat up as he caught sight of Caden's face from the corner of his eye. ''Stop smiling like that. It's melting my heart, I might just end up kissing you at this point.'' The slightest of smirks touched Caden's lips ''You sure you don't want your first one to be éclair?''
''I never said I'd do you the honor of being my first.'' Robin chuckled at Caden's response and Caden would have loved to pull out the long eyelashes that winked at him. ''I'm sure it will. Your piece…I mean. it deserves to.'' Caden never had anything about himself that he could be proud of but when it came to Robin, he could never imagine a time he was not proud of him. And for a second he couldn't help the thought that took home in his mind. Would it be better if…
''What about yours cade?'' Robin asked, looking older than the boy he was moments ago. ''Did you come up with something?'' It took caden a few seconds to answer robin, down his memory lane caden could recall the times he was unable to meet robin's gaze on his fingertips and today, seemed to be another one of those times. ''I couldn't.'' caden sighed heavily with his gaze fixed on his hands. ''I spent the entire day listening to Wallen and Jelly but, I guess neither sir Hawkins nor his suggestions can help me. Its the same. No matter how inspiring their songs are, Nothing changed. I cant come up with anything.''
Robin let out a breath before he bounced from the bed and his arms flailed as he steadied himself. ''Give it a little more time bud', its different for everyone remember.?'' he said and landed a rather loud pat on Caden's back. Time, but how much more. How longer do I have to try until I can compose one?
Robin cleared his throat, rose a finger and took on a tone that caden swore he'd recognise even in his coffin. ''To compose music is to nurture—''
''To compose music is to nurture buds. Each note composed is a bud nourished. Each piece composed is a bud bloomed. Each bud nourishes and blooms at its own pace.'' Caden completed with a smug smile. ''Sir Hawkins needs to chill with these cheesy quotes.'' Robin breathed.
~♧~
The rhythmic tapping of the pen's nib against the paper accompanied the notes of the guitar as Caden's fingers stroke the chords. If only he was able to organise the fragments in his brain, align the chords of his heart and his brain like he could align the guitar's. His mind would have been at ease, the ruckus would be quieter. But only if it were that simple. He stroked another chord, tried another note but picking up the pencil left his mind empty. caden let out a cold sigh and rested the back of his head against the headrest of the chair. If he could turn off his brain and rid himself of the jumbled dissonance maybe this feeling, one in which he was constantly drowning, constantly pulled down in the dark and unknown would abandon him. If caden had to describe exhaustion, he would define it as the drainage of strength and will without doing anything- or being unable to. To constantly try and nevertheless fail. To constantly fight the stinging jumble of clamors in one's head. Exhausted once again, Caden rested his eyelids and lulled himself to sleep. In the dark all he saw were the colorless lips curled into a lukewarm and intimate smile, a smile that made him smile and shed tears, that made him feel joyed and aggrieved all at once. A smile, that comforted him for years. Even when sleep had left Caden's eyes he did not want to open them, if keeping them closed meant he could be enveloped in this a warmth a few moments longer, he'd never open them again. The amiable and snug memory which was cordial yet melancholic. A bittersweet treasury he found painful to hold on to yet was now a major part of him, and if caden was to erase it he would be erasing himself.