Chapter 3: The Purple Granny's Cursed Luck
Kaguya-sama:
"I just asked a friend about it, and she gave me a quick rundown on what chat groups are and how they work. Don't worry — I didn't say anything about the Dimensional Chat Group specifically."
Kaguya-sama:
"I finally understand the concept now. I've barely used the internet before… looks like it's time I started getting acquainted with it."
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden:
"The internet… I believe I've heard of it somewhere. That's something only the mortal world has, isn't it?"
Edward Newgate:
"Can't say I've ever heard of such a thing."
Kaguya-sama:
"Well, we're all from different worlds, so that's perfectly normal."
Just as the conversation was picking up steam, something resembling a pop-up notification suddenly appeared, overlaying the entire chat interface.
It was a group announcement.
A very, very long group announcement.
This was Ryū's handiwork. After spending the last stretch of time thoroughly dissecting every feature of the chat group, he'd compiled everything into a single announcement — a one-stop explanation covering what each function did and how it could be used.
It had taken him a solid half hour to put the whole thing together.
Sure, the Dimensional Chat Group's interface looked almost identical to a standard messaging app — you could even argue it was a straight-up copy. But the actual features under the hood were wildly different, and Ryū had needed to carefully organize everything before sharing it.
Hence the half hour.
[GROUP ANNOUNCEMENT — A Breakdown of the Dimensional Chat Group's Features! Required Reading for All Members!
The Dimensional Chat Group is a chat network linking dimensions across all of reality, allowing people from different worlds to communicate and interact. Group rules: No cyber bullying. No NSFW content. Don't corrupt the minors. And do NOT provoke the Admin.
Gift Packages — Can be sent to a specific member or to the entire group. Gift Packages can contain anything: money, weapons, items… you name it. Delivered via the chat in package form.
Admin & Moderators — The Admin is the master of the group, with authority to mute or kick members. Moderators assist in managing the group but must be approved by the Admin.
Group Files — Upload and share videos, documents, or any other shareable content for all members to access.
Dimensional Transfer — By spending Points (the group's exclusive currency), a member can physically travel to any other member's world. Requires Admin approval.
Points — Earned through the Daily Sign-In. Each sign-in awards 1–100 Points, depending on your luck. Points have many uses — spend them wisely, or you'll regret it when it matters most.
Daily Sign-In… Group Events…
…
Note: There may be features I've missed. I'll update this announcement if I discover more. — Admin, RawrSoFierce]
God only knows how much effort it took Ryū to put all of that together. A full thirty minutes, and he still suspected there were deeper, hidden features he hadn't uncovered yet.
RawrSoFierce:
"@Everyone — Take a look at the announcement. Everything in there is important."
RawrSoFierce:
"If you didn't understand what the Dimensional Chat Group was before, you should after reading that."
Ryū's announcement clocked in at three or four hundred words, minimum. Factor in the time it would take the members to actually digest it all, and…
The chat went completely silent for nearly five minutes.
Then, finally, someone surfaced.
Edward Newgate:
"I see! I think I've got the gist of it. Gurararara! Who would've thought that at seventy-something years old, this old man would still stumble into something like this!"
The Little Wandering Planet:
"An opportunity? It really is, isn't it? Connecting all dimensions — just hearing it sounds incredible. And you can even use Points to travel between worlds!"
The Little Wandering Planet:
"If I save up enough Points, I could find another world to transfer to… and settle down in a nice, comfortable star system."
Kaguya-sama:
"I just tried that 'Daily Sign-In' from the announcement — I got 50 Points!"
Edward Newgate:
"Really? Where exactly is this sign-in feature?"
Kaguya-sama:
"Mm… it's in the upper-right corner. Tap into it and you'll see it right away."
Upper-right corner of the chat interface?
Whitebeard blinked, then curiously "tapped" into it. Sure enough, a new screen appeared — and the first thing he spotted were the words "Daily Sign-In."
He couldn't have written those characters himself if his life depended on it. But somehow, he could read them perfectly.
Just another one of the Dimensional Chat Group's little miracles, he supposed.
Edward Newgate:
"Signed in — 38 Points. Not too shabby."
The Little Wandering Planet:
"I only got 10 Points… I'm literally trembling right now."
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden:
"…I'd rather not say anything. Just look at the screenshot. [Image]"
The Little Wandering Planet:
"Huh? 1… ONE Point?!"
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden:
"This sign-in system is absolutely rigged! Did someone steal my luck?! There is NO WAY this one's fortune is this terrible!!"
Ryū stared at the crystal-clear screenshot Yukari Yakumo had — somehow instinctively — figured out how to take and send. The corner of his mouth twitched.
That was genuinely, spectacularly unlucky.
The Daily Sign-In awarded anywhere from 1 to 100 Points. The odds of rolling a single-digit number were only about nine percent. And to hit the absolute rock bottom — a 1 — out of that already slim nine percent?
How cosmically cursed did your luck have to be for that?!
He could practically see a certain Gap Yōkai clawing at the walls through the screen.
Ryū navigated to the Daily Sign-In and tapped it himself.
He froze. Then muttered, "If I post this screenshot… is it going to send a millennia-old yōkai into cardiac arrest?"
With that thought in mind, he took a screenshot anyway.
And posted it without a shred of hesitation.
RawrSoFierce:
"[Image] A pleasant surprise."
Kaguya-sama:
"100 POINTS!!!"
The Little Wandering Planet:
"That's… that's insane! That luck is unbeatable!"
The Little Wandering Planet:
"Meanwhile, 10-Point me is still over here trembling."
Kaguya-sama:
"You're a planet. If you actually trembled, wouldn't that be catastrophic? Every living thing on your surface would probably get wiped out."
The Little Wandering Planet:
"It's fine. Most of the life on me is pretty much dead already anyway. And even if there were a mass extinction, I'd be okay."
Kaguya-sama:
"…"
Edward Newgate:
"Gurararara! As expected of the Admin!"
The Eternally Seventeen-Year-Old Maiden:
"…"
After seeing Ryū's screenshot, Yukari Yakumo — already reeling from the devastating blow to her pride — now wanted nothing more than to be left alone.
Maybe she should just go back to hibernating.
At least in her sleep, nothing could hurt her anymore.