"Well, if I do that, I won't get laid, will I?"
"Hah… I don't know. I guess so? They might actually still wait for you. They seemed eager to get laid as well."
"It doesn't really matter either way."
"... If you say so."
"... Hey, Connor, seriously… why don't we go somewhere—"
"I won't be your 'fun', Xavier. Just give it up. It's not going to happen. Ever." I immediately told him, already aware of what he was about to ask. Besides… My body has things you won't find fun and lacks something you do find extremely fun. I chuckled a little at the thought, knowing he would be just as shocked as Mason was when I clarified my gender to him.
"Why are you so sure about that?" He stopped, talking with a serious tone I never heard from him.
"Well, that's because—...?" He gave a step towards me and as we were already at the entrance I ended up against the wall, looking up at him who was acting strange. "What is it?"
"I can tell we have affinity… I'm really… Really attracted to you, Connor," leaning onto me, he said. Lying his hand on the wall right beside my arm and playing with the lace of my hoodie as he tried to use his seductive skills to win me over. "I'm quite sure… that I could give you the greatest first time. You'll go crazy... maybe I will too..."
I froze up for a second the more he leaned closer. He had never been so blunt about his intentions and much less never appeared so serious when around me.
It actually took me a little off guard... But in the end… There was only one answer to give.
"Stop messing around. I have to go now. Have your fun with one of those that are piercing daggers on me right now. They seem feisty... perfect for you, right?"
"I want it with you, though. Your kind of feisty."
"Well, that's not happening. Never. Ever." Staring right into his eyes I told him convinced of the truth in my words and taking the knob of the door I turned only to say goodbye. "Bye, Xavier. Thanks for the drinks. They were nice, I'll give you that."
"... See you next week."
"... Have fun."
For some reason, I couldn't get myself to say we wouldn't meet next week but neither was I able to say we would see each other.
It was an odd feeling. Any other day I would've coldly blurt it out, but tonight seemed different... tonight it felt like if I did it I would jinx it.
***
Walking back the street I had walked to get here, I started to feel bothered by how intense he was this time. I couldn't tell if he was actually serious or just messing around but if I'm honest I've never been good at reading gay men's intentions besides Mason's, who's such an open book and easy to get used to.
However, I got over the discomfort quickly since my clock said it wasn't too late to pay Sophie's dorm, which was near a visit. I called her to ask if I could still go to her place to get the clothes I had asked for this afternoon, hoping that she was still awake at home and not somewhere else stalking someone. The phone rang a few times but since it's Sophie... I patiently waited until her voice finally answered on the other side.
"Yes, biatch~? What you doin'~?"
"Hey, can I still go to your place now? I finished stuff early and I'm close to your place now."
"You mean you got bored at home doing nothing already? I know you lied about being busy cause you're lazy."
"Uh... Sure. Yeah, I got bored and went out on a walk. So? Can I go?"
"You're probably already on your way anyway... Oh! You could stay for the night actually. My roommate left for her hometown 'cause of a relative's funeral... or was it a birthday?… Or was it an anniversary?? Where was her hometown again? I feel like I'm missing somethin' here."
"Really Sophie?"
"Yeah, I can't remember. Anyways she's gone so stay here tonight. I'm also bored."
It's best if I just keep it to myself, I thought, knowing that telling her to pay attention to such matters wouldn't make a change, "... Sure. See you in a bit."
"See ya, biatch~"
*Click*
"... Sigh. How can you mix a funeral with a birthday? It's the complete opposite… if I ever need help I'd better remember not to count on her…"
Weirded out by how Sophie's mind worked sometimes I stared at the screen of my phone really intrigued by how unbothered she was. I continued my way after shaking off the confusion and bought a few snacks to offer as appreciation to my roof and clothes' provider tonight.
I hope the clothes she has do fit me. I don't think I've gained weight but… Ugh… I don't want to go on a diet but the only other option would be mom's… I thought as I walked to her dorm. No, no… It'll fit, it has to. I can't go on my first day looking like a hippie!
Eventually, I arrived, convinced that a little run would ensure Sophie's wardrobe would fit. She opened the door lazily so I could enter, we ate and I tried on many outfits. Thankfully, god listened to me and all were about the right size for me. We spent time doing nothing together until we went to sleep after she gave me a few tips.
"Are you sure I can take this with me too?"
"I don't use them and if you don't, the outfits won't look as good. Once yours grows you can give it back. I heard these are reusable. "
"Hmm… alright. I did look better with them. It actually makes me feel less… manly."
"Yeah, so take it. Take a selfie and send it to me on Monday. I wanna see you all dolled up. It's a rare sight and annoyingly so... You look hot."
"Shut up."
"Hahaha~ Don't be shy now. There's a reason why you're popular with boys and girls, you know?"
Just as usual, just as comfy… Just as innocently and ignorantly of what would happen in the next few days we laughed it off and said goodbye so I could go home.