"The Past Is Not the Present"
Chapter 4: Elizabeth's Thoughts
Author: Frenames
After taking a warm bath and letting the water wash away the stress of the day, I came out of the bathroom with a soft towel wrapped around me, gently patting my damp hair dry with another. The tiled floor of our bedroom was cool beneath my feet as I walked toward the large wooden bed.Chapter
I don't even know if we can truly be called a married couple at this point. With a quiet sigh, I moved toward the tall cabinet in the corner of the room—its surface still dusted with a fine layer of powder from when Elizabeth had been doing her makeup earlier. I pulled out two thick cotton blankets and a plump pillow, arranging them carefully on the carpet beside the bed, making sure my makeshift sleeping spot wouldn't take up too much space. Once everything was set, I lay down and called out softly, "Honey, I'm going to sleep first."
From where she sat at the desk by the window, Elizabeth didn't look up right away. Her fingers continued to type on her laptop keyboard, the screen casting a blue glow across her focused face. "Finally finished all the documents to use tomorrow for the meeting with the investors," she mumbled, her voice low as she clicked through the final pages to save them. The city lights of Cagayan de Oro twinkled outside, cars passing by on the street below with a distant hum.
She closed her laptop with a soft click and placed it carefully on the polished wooden table beside the bed. Stretching her arms above her head, she let out a yawn—her shoulders tensing and relaxing as she felt the weariness of a full day at the office settle in. She'd been up since five in the morning preparing presentations, and the strain was evident in the faint lines around her eyes.
As she lay down on the bed, pulling the crisp white sheets up to her waist, she couldn't stay still. She tossed and turned slightly, her mind racing back to the conversation she'd had with French earlier that afternoon. She hadn't meant to say those harsh things about his career, about how he seemed content to stay in his entry-level position while everyone else moved forward. All she'd wanted was to push him to reach for more, to help him see that he was capable of so much more than he believed.
"Honey, I'm sorry for what I said earlier," she began, her voice gentle but carrying a faint edge of coldness she couldn't quite shake off. "I didn't mean to sound so harsh. I just wanted to motivate you—to push you to grow. I don't want you to be satisfied with where you are now when you could achieve so much more."
When I heard what Elizabeth said, a tightness formed in my chest. I knew deep down she didn't mean to hurt me, but hearing the woman I loved say I wasn't doing enough still stung. I thought about all the long hours I'd put in at work, trying to save up for the home we'd always talked about buying near the beach. "Don't worry, honey," I replied, forcing a calm tone even though my voice sounded small and uncertain. "I'm not taking what you said to heart. You were probably just tired from work when you said it."
Elizabeth's jaw tightened slightly as she listened to my response. She'd hoped he'd argue back, tell her he was working hard, that he had plans for his future. Instead, he'd just accepted her words without a fight—and that made her even more frustrated with him. He should have gotten upset, she thought to herself. If he cared about improving his life, he would have defended himself instead of just letting it go.
She let out a quiet huff, pulling the sheets higher up her chest. "Women are really hard to understand—they're so fickle-minded, always changing their thoughts and feelings," she mused, staring up at the dark ceiling. "A woman truly is a difficult creature to figure out. Even if someone tried to write a dictionary for women, it would be impossible for it to exist—there's no way to define something that shifts so much."
"Alright, I'm going to sleep now, honey," she said, turning onto her side with her back to me. I closed my eyes, pulling my blanket up to my chin as I tried to relax my racing mind.
"Good night, honey," I whispered into the quiet room. After a moment, Elizabeth replied, her voice softer this time: "Good night."
She reached over to the bedside table and flipped the switch, plunging the room into darkness. The only light left was the faint glow from the streetlamp outside, casting long shadows across the floor.
Lying in the dark, Elizabeth's thoughts drifted to things she'd been avoiding for months. French and I have been married for three years now, but we still haven't done what married couples are supposed to do. We've never been intimate, never shared that kind of closeness. She bit her lower lip, her mind filled with doubt. I'm still hesitating whether to give myself to him—what if he isn't the one for me?
Even so, a small smile touched her lips as she thought about how kind he always was to her. He never pressured her about anything, never brought up the topic of their physical relationship, even though she knew it must be difficult for him. I'm still happy with him, though—even if he never mentions such things. Maybe he just lacks the courage to tell me how he feels. She shifted slightly, feeling her cheeks grow warm as she imagined what it would be like if he finally asked her to be close. But if he really did ask to be intimate like a married couple... what would I do? Would I be ready?
Elizabeth's face blushed deep red, and she pulled the sheets up to cover her cheeks, her heart beating a little faster as she let her mind wander. She tossed and turned one more time, then finally relaxed into the mattress—she didn't realize she had fallen asleep until she started to dream, her thoughts still swirling as she drifted off.
To be continued...