The Man Who Sneezed a Mountain Apart
The first thing Sam noticed was that the sky was screaming.
The second thing he noticed was that it was screaming at him.
A three-hundred-foot horned monstrosity burst through the eastern gates of Riverfall City, crushing a watchtower like it was made of stale bread. Cultivators in flowing robes leapt into the air, blades glowing, shouting things like:
"Form the Azure Phoenix Array!"
"Protect the civilians!"
"Senior Brother, wait for me!"
They lasted seven seconds.
Sam stood in the middle of the marketplace holding a basket of turnips.
He blinked at the monster.
The monster blinked back.
Behind it, dozens of armored beasts marched in eerie synchronization — ranks straight, steps unified. That was strange. Monsters didn't march.
They rampaged.
A flaming sword arc struck the horned giant's knee. The cultivator who launched it looked proud for half a breath before being swatted into the horizon.
Sam sighed.
"I just wanted soup."
The horned giant inhaled.
The air pressure changed.
Cultivators froze.
Someone screamed, "It's charging a demonic breath!"
Sam sniffed.
Then he sneezed.
The world went quiet.
A transparent shockwave exploded outward from him in a perfect sphere. It passed harmlessly through buildings, people, carts, fruit stands.
It hit the monster.
The horned giant disintegrated.
Not exploded.
Not burned.
It simply ceased to exist — erased like chalk wiped from a board.
The marching beasts behind it stopped mid-step.
Every cultivator in the air fell out of the sky.
Sam stared at his hand.
"Oh," he said thoughtfully. "That's new."
Silence swallowed Riverfall City.
A young cultivator slowly raised his trembling finger toward Sam.
"W-What realm…?"
Sam considered this carefully.
He had no idea.
Meanwhile, outside the gates.
The remaining beasts retreated in formation.
In formation.
Sam frowned.
"See? That's not normal," he muttered.
A captain of the city guard stumbled toward him.
"You— Senior! Supreme Elder! Hidden Sovereign! Please tell us your honored sect so we may—"
"I don't have one."
The captain's eye twitched.
"Then your cultivation level—"
"I don't cultivate."
A nearby spiritual energy detector orb shattered on its own.
The captain fainted.
Sam looked at the ruined gate.
Looked at the vanished monster.
Looked at his basket of turnips.
"Soup's going to take longer now."
***
That night, in his modest home, Sam experimented.
He extended a hand.
A ripple moved through the air.
The moon flickered.
He quickly pulled it back.
"Okay. So that's… probably not beginner realm."
He focused inward the way he'd seen cultivators do.
Nothing.
No meridians.
No circulating qi.
No core.
Instead, it felt like the world itself was… listening.
He snapped his fingers.
A mountain outside the city shifted three inches to the left.
He froze.
"…I should not test things casually."
The realization dawned slowly:
He wasn't growing stronger.
He had always been like this.
Like a book already written — he was just turning the pages.
"Absolutely not," he decided. "No one can know."
***
Midnight.
Knock knock knock.
Sam opened the door to find a dirt-covered young man clutching a cracked spear.
"I saw what you did," the stranger said.
Sam closed the door, but the stranger stuck his foot in it.
"Wait! I'm not here to expose you! I'm here because… because those monsters killed my entire squad."
Sam paused.
"…Oh."
"They moved like soldiers," the young man continued. "They followed commands."
"Yes," Sam said quietly. "I noticed."
The young man straightened.
"My name is Darius. I'm going to get stronger. I'm going to reach the peak of cultivation. I'm going to find who commands them."
Sam stared at him.
Darius squinted.
"…Senior?"
"I'm not your senior."
"You erased a calamity-class beast by sneezing."
"That was an accident."
Darius fell to his knees.
"Teach me."
Sam looked up at the night sky.
He could feel it again.
Something beyond the horizon.
Watching.
Coordinating.
Calculating.
This wasn't a random surge of monsters.
This was a campaign.
He exhaled slowly.
"I don't teach."
Darius deflated.
"But," Sam added, grabbing his coat, "I was going for a walk."
Darius blinked.
"…A walk?"
"Yes."
Sam stepped into the night.
"Toward the monster army."
Darius scrambled up instantly.
And just like that, without meaning to, Sam acquired his first companion.
***
Far Beyond the Kingdom
In a cavern lit by eerie violet flames, a towering armored figure sat upon a throne of bone.
Before it knelt dozens of monstrous generals.
"The Horned Vanguard has fallen," one hissed.
The armored figure tapped a claw against the throne.
"Cause?"
A trembling beast swallowed.
"…Unknown."
The figure leaned back.
"Send the next wave."
"Yes, Sovereign."
"And this time…"
Its eyes glowed.
"…observe the human called Sam."
***
Back on the road
Darius jogged to keep up.
"Senior— I mean, Sam— what realm are you, exactly?"
Sam considered.
"Hungry realm."
"…What?"
"I didn't get soup."
Darius stared at him.
Sam looked ahead at the distant hills where monster torches flickered like a second constellation.
He flexed his fingers experimentally.
The stars dimmed for a second.
He relaxed them.
They returned.
"…This is going to be troublesome," he muttered.
Darius grinned fiercely.
"Yes! Together we'll grow stronger!"
Sam didn't have the heart to explain.
He wasn't growing.
He was remembering.
And something out there already knew it.
