It was 4th November. Remus was profoundly aware of it because yesterday was Sirius' birthday and he was giving the death-glare to all his friends, daring them to bring it up. And it was upsetting really, because now that they all knew about Remus' 'furry little problem', as Sirius was calling it now, they were taking care of him. And it was still torture but the waking up part was so much less so.
And he wanted to do something because thirteen was a big age. It was thirteen. Teen. It meant something. Remus was now profoundly aware of the lack of celebration, particularly from Sirius' family who he knew were rubbish but now he really knew they were rubbish.
So he was wandering the corridors and thinking because he couldn't think in the common room, or in the dorms. He was just wandering and thinking and…oh.
"Was there a door here before?"
Remus' brow was furrowed because he was absolutely certain there was not a door there before at all ever. But now there was and something was urging him to just step forward and turn the handle. Inside was an expansive room with poufs on the floor and squashy arm chairs and a fire and…oh. Butterbeer. And food like they'd nick from the kitchens.
Remus backed out. Could they? Would it…? What was it?
"Don't…please don't leave. Don't disappear," he begged the castle, then turned on his heel and rushed back to the Gryffindor tower.
James was lying sideways across the arm chair, one leg kicked up on the arm, staring across the room at Evans who was occasionally looking over with a fierce glower. Peter was spread out on the floor at James' feet working on his Care of Magical Creatures essay.
"Where's Sirius?" Remus came to a crouch where James' head was lolling off to the side.
"Detention. Got caught charming Snape's breakfast this morning."
Remus frowned. "Is that what McGonagall was going on about?"
James snorted. "Yeah. It was pretty good though. Turned his nose puce."
"Was like that until just before Potions," Peter cut in.
There was a slamming book, and Remus saw Evans stand up and storm out of the room. He let out a small sigh, then leant forward. "I want to talk about Sirius' birthday."
James let out a small groan. "Re, look, I know you want to do something, but he hates his birthday. We should just let it be."
Remus sat back on his heels. "You're telling me you didn't get him anything?"
James' cheeks went a bit pink. "Well I might've owled mum and dad. And got some things."
"In your trunk?"
James nodded. "I reckon he can have them for Christmas."
"Or," Remus said, "we can have a small birthday party for him anyway."
***
Late that night when the castle was asleep, Remus and James snuck out under the cloak, and Remus tried desperately to remember where the door was. At first there was nothing in the corridor, but closing his eyes, he begged the castle to show it again and when he heard James suck in his breath, he hurried forward and opened it.
It was as he'd left it.
"I know what this is," James breathed. "Room of Requirement."
"What?"
"Room of Requirement. Shows up when you really need something."
Remus' eyebrows went up. "Even Hogwarts wants Sirius to have a birthday. Come on, James. We need to do this for him. We can…" Remus' brow furrowed in thought, and he hopped from one foot to the other. "Guy Fawkes night is tomorrow. We'll tell him we're plotting some prank or something to celebrate. We'll say we're blowing something up. He'll go for it."
"Then he'll blow us up when he realises what we're doing," James warned. "Blow our bits off, he will."
"He won't," Remus insisted.
James let out a puff of air. "If I have to get my bits regrown from Pomfrey, I'm taking it out on you." But his tone was light because Remus could tell he'd won his friend over.
***
When they told Sirius about the plot, he was excited. "Oh. This is great, this is brilliant. Oh this is the best idea you've had yet, Re." He was all-but bouncing in his seat. "Let's do the Slytherin common room, shall we? Maybe it'll blow them straight into the lake and the squid will eat them!"
Remus frowned. "I don't think the squid eats students."
Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "D'you know how? Have you got spells for it?"
"We've got what we need," James said. He glanced over at Peter, then Remus who both nodded obediently. "Tonight, after curfew. We'll use the cloak."
The three boys plotting and planning took turns making sure they had everything sorted. Remus skived off Potions saying he was feeling a bit off-colour, and used the time to borrow James' cloak to transfer the gifts into the Room of Requirement. For a short moment he was petrified it would all disappear, but he trusted the castle. The castle which wanted him there—which wanted Sirius to stop hurting, and these lonely children to find comfort in each other.
It was just about time to go when Frank turned over in his bed, and pushed his curtains aside. "Please don't lose us any more points," he begged.
James winked. "I make no promises, mate. Go back to sleep."
Frank groaned, wrenching his curtains shut, and Remus felt a little bad, but he was too excited. Watching Sirius all-but bouncing on his feet as James sorted the cloak and they moved toward the door.
It was tricky with all four of them, but over the months they'd developed a sort of system and learnt each other's gaits and silent signals when Mrs Norris popped round a corner. Remus was leading the way, and went into the corridor, wishing hard for the door.
It appeared and he hurried in, tugging them along and shutting it tight behind. There was a moment's pause as James slipped the cloak off and Sirius stared round, his eyes full of wonder and accusation.
"It's not technically your birthday anymore," Remus began, taking a hesitant step forward. "So…we can call it an unbirthday celebration."
Sirius' eyes went narrow and hard. "I told you…"
"We know," James said. He was standing by a table covered in sweets and pumpkin juice.
"But we don't care," Remus said, crossing his arms. "What would you have done if it were me? When it was me telling you lot I don't want help after full moons?"
Sirius blinked, looked at James, then at Peter, finally at Remus before he launched himself at the werewolf, pinning him to the floor. His eyes were hard as steel and Remus thought for just one second Sirius was going to punch him.
Then he smirked. Then he winked. Then he licked Remus on the cheek. "You're a fucking wanker, you know that?"
"Ger'off! You're like a bloody puppy, it's ridiculous." Remus shoved Sirius away, scrubbing his cheek with his sleeve, but they were both grinning like mad.
They immediately tucked into the food and butterbeer, and feeling sleepy and full and lazy, James flopped over one of the poufs and began to bang presents in Sirius' direction. He opened them all, eyes a bit watery though no one could ever accuse Sirius Black of crying ever at all.
And Sirius loved his friends. So much. He loved them so sodding much that it ached in his body from head to toe and he wished that it would be like this forever.
Every year after that, Sirius never had a birthday. But he had many unbirthdays, and those--he decided--were infinitely better.
***
Ten months of school. Ten full moons. Ten mornings waking up in hospital covered in gashes and full of potions that made Remus want to die just as much as the transformations. But there were also ten evenings of two, sometimes three, curled up in his hospital bed behind the wards. Ten months of hands holding his, fingers combing his hair and poking at his bandages to see, "Does it hurt if I do this? How about this?"
Sirius went mad after that. He bought twelve albums and funny black t-shirts with band names on them. He dragged the lads then to clothing shops where he found jeans and funny dark shades and then fell madly in love with a black leather jacket.
"I'm out of er…muggle galleons," Sirius said miserably.
Remus still had some. Just enough for the jacket. He pulled it from the rack and saw it was a bit big, but took it to the counter and purchased it anyway. Sirius tried to refuse, but Remus shoved it at him. "You'll grow into it."
Sirius held it to his chest for a minute and looked at Remus with a funny expression. "You're an idiot."
Remus laughed. "I know. Put it on, you fucking muggle. Let's see how it looks on you."
Sirius found toilets to change into. He wore his jeans and his Stooges t-shirt—whatever that was, Remus wasn't sure he wanted to know—and he slipped the jacket on which fell past his fingers. He twirled though, and grinned at Remus and James who were shaking their heads.
"Do I look like a muggle?"
"You look like a fucking tosser," James said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver band. "Wear this."
Sirius slipped it onto the middle finger of his right hand and stared at it. "What's it for?"
"Dunno. Decoration, I guess. They were a pound at that record shop. Looks better on you," James said, nodding.
Sirius' eyes went wet and wobbly at the corners. "My parents are going to thrash me stupid. Probably won't wake up until August if they see me in this."
"So keep it at mine," James said firmly.
Sirius stroked the jacket's sleeve. "Maybe this. So they don't destroy it. The rest…it'll be worth it. I don't want to be like them."
His voice was dark and terrified, and James pulled Sirius between him and Remus and they held him tight. "You're not like them, Sirius."
Remus nodded. "Not even a little bit. One of your best mates is a werewolf for fuck's sake. You're not like them."
Sirius threw his arms round them and pulled them in tight. "You're right. I'm not. Fucking tossers."