Chapter 1, s. 1
While preparing for training, Yuzuki accidentally overheard his parents arguing. The words were so unclear that all he could make out was "Russia" and "success," along with a lot of offensive words from his mother. Yuzuki was already used to his mother's words; ever since he fell during a competition, his mother had stopped seeing him as the ideal son. His father was powerless and exhausted, unable to defend himself, let alone his son. Yuzuki continued to listen:
"He's gained weight again, his skin is getting worse, his black hair... I can't stand looking at him," she said irritably.
"...
"As always. Aren't you even going to say anything?!"
"You're exaggerating, Fuyune."
"I'm sending him to Russia in two weeks, you'd better say goodbye to him."
Yuzuki's father looked up from his phone and looked at Fuyune with sadness, but also disappointment, and said:
"You're a monster."
Fuyune left. She went to her son's room. Yuzuki quickly went back packing. "Yuzuki, come downstairs" was one of his mother's frequently used phrases. Yuzuki took his things and went to put on his shoes. Before leaving, he hugged his dad as tightly as if she were going to disappear today.
While driving, his mother announced that she had found him a better life in Moscow at the ice rink under the care of Aksinya Ivanova (Russia's top figure skating coach) and that he would stay there until he learned perfection, discipline, and what it means to be ideal. Yuzuki knew that he would not return to Tokyo for a long time. This meant leaving his friends, family, and everything he had in Japan behind.
"What about school?" He said emotionlessly.
"You'll probably study in Russia... and anyway, why do you care?"
"It's my life."
"But I'll be in charge of it, not you," she replied irritably.
After training, Yuzuki wondered what his mother was thinking, sending him to Russia. He didn't think about it for long, because his friend from the group noticed that something was wrong with him. Yuzuki was tapping his fingers and staring at one spot. Michiko knew this gesture well; Yuzuki used it when he was upset. She sat down next to him, took his hand, and said in a calm and gentle voice that if something was bothering him, he could always trust her and talk to her. Without looking up from the floor, Yuzuki told her about his mother's intentions and that he probably wouldn't be in touch for a long time. Michiko sat frozen... The sound of skates landing on the ice, the coach's shouts, and the sounds of the ice seemed so clear in the silence after what Yuzuki said.
"So... Does that mean I'll never see you again...?"
"I don't know."
"I have to tell you something, Yuzu."
At that moment, their energetic and cheerful coach skated up to the boards and immediately noticed Yuzuki's condition. She hadn't seen him in such a state since he missed a quadruple axel at the international competition in Nagoya. He was no longer the Yuzuki she had known since his early years, but rather a shadow of a man who still felt the painful collision with the ice, reliving that failure with every breath. Seeing Yuzuki, the coach couldn't leave him alone in this state and calmly but firmly said:
Yuzuki, what's bothering you?
My mom is sending me to Russia, he said without looking up.
The coach felt a chill and cold sweat on her back. She moved towards the goal to get off the ice rink as quickly as possible. Yuzuki looked down and saw a pair of clean white skates in front of him.
"Yuzuki, look at me," she said desperately.
Yuzuki's cold, emotionless gaze made the coach freeze. His eyes were the same as after his failed program, the same gaze devoid of any hope.
"When are you leaving?"
"In two weeks."
"The day before your birthday."
Yuzuki's gaze changed from sadness to fear. His plans, which were written down in his notebook, had just been shattered. The notebook contained his emotions, feelings, experiences, and plans for the future. One of those plans was:
"On December 21, I will turn 18, and I swear that after that, I will move out of this sick woman's house, even if I have to live under a bridge. I will not allow this torment to continue, even if it costs me moving to another country or even another continent..."
His mother had planned it well. Until he turned 18, he couldn't decide anything. Yuzuki wanted to run away right now and never come back, but his mother knew his location, and besides, she was in the stands watching the training. He already knew he couldn't do anything. He looked at the coach, then at Michiko, then at his mother, trying not to burst into tears. His eyes showed exhaustion.
Despite the distance, his mother's eyes showed disappointment and anger. She stood with her arms crossed, looking down at Yuzuki.
"Yuzuki, come onto the ice," said the coach.
"I'm coming."
Yuzuki got up resignedly and stepped onto the ice. He had to practice his free program for the Olympics, but it was difficult for him to think when he realized that this was one of his last practices at this rink with these people, with this coach, in this city, and especially in this country