"Perfection."
Eli muttered as his feet trailed forward, but eyes darted back at the figure who just walked past him.
Her jasmine scent wafted his nose and felt him hypnotised, completely ignoring the world— it wasn't important right now.
Her face was breathtakingly beautiful, upturned emerald eyes, a messy bun with strands of golden blond hair felt to sway in the air.
It was summer so she sported a thin white vest and black shorts that clung to every part of her thighs.
He'd seen beautiful girls before but this was different, it was like the universe wanted to tempt him— perfect eye candy for a starved man.
He kept his head forward but his feet never stopped moving— even as they pushed off the sidewalk.
The stretch of the black material, the curve of the hips, the ripple effect made with every step she took forward.
He blocked the world out, the intense heat from the scorching sun, the blaring horn of the bus barreling down the street— even the people screaming for him to move.
The girl finally turned the corner, letting the bulge in his pants shrink a little.
He sighed. 'Damn.'
He slowly whipped his head forward, the screams of the people in front of him finally caught his ears—
So did the blaring horn of the bus.
~SKREEE—KRRCHH!~
The driver slammed the brakes, the bus's momentum wouldn't give.
The smell of burning rubber rose up and a sizzling black smoke rose from the tires.
Eli's blood ran cold in an instant, his eyes wide and his brain non-functional.
He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth.
Before it all went black.
* * *
"Huh? What the—didn't I die?"
Eli's eyes shot open, blinking rapidly as he sat up and frantically patted himself down like someone checking for a lost wallet.
"Huh? HUH?! What the fuck—was that a dream—eeeh?!"
He was this close to convincing himself that his pathetic death of a tragedy was just a fever dream... until he looked at his hands.
Green.
Not pale. Not tan. Not sunburnt. But Shrek green.
"HUH?!!! WHAT THE—WHY THE—WHO THE HELL GAVE ME A LIME SKIN FILTER?!"
That's when he heard it. A soft ding echoed inside his head like a microwave finishing a hot pocket from hell.
[Initialization complete...]
[Welcome to the Perverted System, host.]
"...A system?" Eli blinked. "Wait, like in those webnovels? Oh shit, that's kinda—"
[Main Quest Activated!]
[Drink breast milk from the source – 0/100L]
[Reward: Race change from Goblin to any race of your choosing.]
"You mean to tell me I died jacking off in front of a cheating milf just to be reborn as a goblin with a titty-sucking questline?!"
Eli's soul left his body for a moment.
"Wait, WAIT! I'm a fucking goblin...
now?!"
He jumped to his feet—or tried to. His legs were stubby, his arms were noodly, and his nose now had the aerodynamic elegance of a banana.
Standing there at barely three and half feet tall, just 106 centimeter, with saggy green skin and ears that flopped like broken antennas, Eli stared at his reflection in a mirror nearby.
He slumped back down on the old straw bed, defeated but not destroyed.
"I wanted to transmigrate! Reincarnate! Get reborn into a world of magic and big titties and mountains of gold!"
Eli screeched, jumping from bed and pacing in tiny furious circles like a gremlin who just got evicted from his own swamp.
"I wanted to be a rich hero! A noble duke! A damn dragon-slaying, elf-banging, mansion-owning legend! But this... this?!"
He threw his stubby green arms in the air like he was summoning thunder from the heavens.
"This isn't what I asked for!!!"
A pause.
Then came the full tantrum.
"FUCK. YOU! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT?! HOW IN THE HOLY DOUBLE D'S OF DESTINY DID I BECOME A FUCKING GOBLIN?!"
He stomped. He raged. He flopped dramatically onto the straw bed like a spoiled toddler in time-out.
"I'm supposed to be seducing princesses, not waking up in a mud hut with green nipples!"
Then... click.
A door opened.
Eli froze like a squirrel in the middle of the road. Eyes snapped shut, body went limp—Oscar-worthy performance incoming.
Step~ step~
The footsteps were light, graceful. Like a ballerina ghosting across a cloud.
Then, a voice.
"Oh~ poor guy. Look at his wounds..."
A woman's voice, smooth as silk soaked in honey.
"I'll have a proper word with Alex once he comes back from hunting. What was he thinking, bringing someone as useless as this to a hunting party?"
Eli's goblin heart skipped a beat. His brain screamed:
'MILF ALERT! MILF ALERT!'
But his eyes stayed shut. He didn't know if she was a kind healer... or the type to use his skull as a flower pot.
Nope. Not risking it.
She sat down on the edge of the bed, her weight causing the straw mattress to creak softly under her. Eli didn't move a muscle, lying there like a possum playing dead. But then—
"Gaga gu ga!!"
Eli's eyes twitched.
'Was that... a baby?'
He tilted his head just a fraction, just enough to catch the high-pitched babbling echoing from the woman's side.
"Oh, my baby, are you hungry? Are you hungry, my dear?"
Her voice dipped into that sweet, syrupy tone reserved exclusively for babies and puppies with seasonal depression.
"Here, let mommy feed you."
"Gu gu ga ga."
Then came it.
The sound.
A soft zipper unzipping.
Eli's eyes widened in full panic mode under his lids.
'No. No, no, no. She didn't just—'
Something stirred in his pants.
'Oh sweet mother of goblins, she did.'
"Come here baby, drink all mommy's milk. Don't let a single drop fall down, okay? That's it... good boy."
Then... silence. A soft suckling sound followed. A blissful little baby sigh.
Eli was now sweating buckets.
'She's breastfeeding. She's actually breastfeeding. Real life, in 4D. And I'm here. Lying next to a milking MILF. As a goddamn goblin. What kind of cursed hentai reincarnation path did I take?!'
But another part of him? The degenerate Eli?
Oh, he was screaming with joy inside:
"THAT'S THE QUEST! THAT'S THE DAMN QUEST!!!"
A hundred liters never felt so far away... yet so close.
"Ah~ Gently baby. Don't you know momma's so sensitive everywhere? If you bite like that... Ah~"
Eli felt his soul leave his body for a moment—but not from fear. Oh no. From sheer arousal.
His inner pervert practically moonwalked out of his spiritual form, lit a cigarette, and said, "We eatin' good today."
Eli was a risk taker. Always had been.
He'd peeped through windows, closet cracks, and even from air holes. He didn't care where ever it is, he just wanted to see some actions.
Did it get him killed? Yes.
Did he learn his lesson? Absolutely not.
So naturally, he cracked one eye open—just a sliver, like a gremlin waking from hibernation.
First thing he saw? Blonde. A cascade of golden locks spilling over her shoulder like a waterfall of lust and shampoo commercials.
Then he spotted it—a drop of sweat trailing down her neck like it was lost on a sexy jungle expedition.
Eli's eyes followed it like it was the last drop of water in a desert of thirst.
He gulped, his throat suddenly drier than a nun's diary.
'This is... fucking amazing!'