which, not long after I'd thought that, thankfully, for me, not the school or its budget.
today, as a student anyway, was officially over.
I practically shouted in glee as a car came careening through the wall at the front of the classroom, smashing through the next wall after that with alarming amounts of force, its alarm blaring as it came to rest in the hallway after crashing into a wall of lockers.
"finally!" I let out under my breath as I raced out of the classroom with the other scared students, my eyes scanning the sparse classroom windows I could see through the door windows, for the action outside, as well as a place I can duck into and change.
which, thankfully for both, seemed somewhat under control for now, and, readily nearby, as I was quickly able to disappear into a different bathroom, shift form, groaning at the pain of all my muscles and bones breaking and reshaping, then huffing for breath as I stripped out of my clothes, activated a bracelet on my wrist, and then dove out of a kind of small window up near the ceiling.
rolling as I landed, my body now covered in the nanobots the bracelet released that very rapidly turned into my hero suit the moment I sprung to my feet and began dashing towards the fight.
"dispatch, on scene and available for backup." I shouted into my comms, it's usual crackle echoing in my ears before the device came to life and a familiar voice responded.
"BloodRayne?! what are you even doing there?! this is a Rank A threat, you're Rank C at BEST, get out of there!!" Kyle, the dispatcher with zero faith in me, scolded.
"oh relax, it's just tin soldier, I've fought him like four times, I got this!" I lied, and then immediately turned my comms off so that I wouldn't hear Kyle pointing out the fact that he was well aware that I lied.
I mean, I heal.
I gulped, and began springing faster, my body light, agile, quick.
effortlessly allowing me to reach the scene relatively fast, as, by the time I got there, the fight between tin soldier and a "friend" of mine, was still ongoing.
I exhaled, taking a deep breath to ready myself before leaping onto and then off of an upturned car resting on its side.
gracefully gliding through the air for a few feet before landing on tin soldiers back, my arms locked around his neck in a chokehold.
"YOU?!" he shrieked, caught off guard, his attack halted.
"yeah, me, NOW!" I boomed as loud as I could, bracing myself for the inevitable pain that was coming.
I coughed, bleeding from the mouth and abdomen as Spear sable threw his summoned weapon through the both of us, impaling me and tin soldier to a nearby wall a dozen or so feet behind us.
my face twisted in agony as I pulled myself to the side with all the strength I could muster, painstakingly wrenching myself off the spear that came as part of Spear sable's ability.
a screech of agony dulled in my throat as I succeeded and landed on the concrete below with a wet slapping thud, tears in my blurry eyes as I refused to watch my body knit itself back together.
which, unfortunately for me, was NOT, the end of the matter.
I groaned, partly from pain, partly from annoyance.
because, right on cue, as always, Spear sable came storming up to me, yanked me up by the wrist, and got within hair lengths from my face.
his breath hot, and disgustingly inside my nose as he screamed enraged, "you idiot!! I had that!"
"what are you even doing here?! I don't need your help!!" he let loose from grit teeth.
"you could've died!!" he huffed while throwing me by the wrist, my balance uneasy as I stumbled through the landing.
"I heal, remember?" I glared.
"or did you forget how I helped you discover your power?" I shot, knowing full well that it was a low blow, the lowest in fact.
"look, I might not be your partner anymore, and your training is clearly over, but that doesn't mean I'm a second-class hero!" I defended, exhausted with how I've been treated today.
my eyes locked on him, on the kid I once tutored at the association, his former, similar to my secret identity looks all but nonexistent, he was tall, well built, his hero suit a mix of samurai armor and berserker fantasy fur, his mask more a helmet than anything else.
barely able to hide just how much he'd changed.
he looked good, successful, confident.
and meanwhile, here I was, falling far behind, broke, and stuck having all of my checks going to my drug addict parents because I was still in school.
I hated it.
and, I unfairly took it out on him.
I realized, and then immediately apologized.
"sorry, I know you're just doing your job, don't worry, I won't claim this one, he's all yours, you deserve the bonus this year." I sighed, my head low, my voice defeated.
"I'm proud of you, you're doing good." I smiled, weakly, much to a very twisted look of complex emotions plastered across his face.
"thanks Ray." he offered, more or less an olive branch of pity than anything else.
"rough day?" he tried, and failed, to make small talk.
"eventful." I replied.
"fun." he nodded, the official death of whatever conversation tried to form.
I didn't bother saying aloud as I shot him a wave, and leapt onto that upturned car, hesitating for a brief second as I looked back at him.
"we should team up again, for old times sake." I smiled, and then launched myself from the car like a springboard, acrobatically maneuvering across the debris field and as far from the scene as physically possible.
my mind racing, loud, refusing to stand still as the past year of me being a hero played in my head on repeat.
from the first day to this day, nothing was stopping the flood of memories.
of failures, and ridicules.
of fighting tooth and nail to barely achieve what my coworkers so effortlessly enjoy.
of seeing them get action figures, and shows, and endorsements.
while I'm stuck here forced to take modeling gigs to pay the bills my parents are too fucking high off of MY hero checks, to pay.
I roared, tears in my eyes as I dashed into an alley and slammed my fist into the wall as hard as I could, sobbing in complete and utter defeat as I slumped to all fours on the ground, surrounded by how I felt.
garbage.
litter.
the readily discarded waste of society.
that, of course, speaking of.
I almost laughed in disbelief as I hit answer on my comms, and allowed the incoming call to go through.
"hello?" my voice cracked, barely hiding the pain in it.
"you're working?" my mom asked, her own voice distant and confused.
"yeah." I answered, not bothering to finish my sentence of, "yeah, SOMEONE has to you fucking junkie." due to it just not being worth it.
"can you turn back? I don't like calling my son and hearing a girl's voice, it's weird." she trailed, her voice in and out like I'm sure she was.
"I'm in public, it's called a secret identity for a reason.....what do you need?" I just...wanted to give up.
"groceries. we're out, grab some before you come home. *CLICK*"
click......
CLICK?!
I started laughing hysterically, tears streaming my face as I rolled onto the ground starfish style, my arms and legs spread, almost like I was doing snow angels amongst the empty cigarette boxes, newspapers, and used needles.
"she hung up on me!" I laughed like it was the best joke I've ever heard in my entire life.
"she hung up on ME!" I lost it, just, lost it.
crying, laughing, raging.
I was a mess.
I knew I was a mess.
especially because, despite all of this, despite the bullying, the near homelessness, the forced side jobs, the weakness, the public, the heroes, and the villains hating me, I STILL wanted to help people.
I exhaled, still partly laughing.
I mean, what if I knew deep down that, all this time, I was actually the biggest joke of all.