I didn't sleep.
Not even for a minute.
The flood of memories still sorting themselves out inside my head made sure of that.
All.
Fucking.
Night.
By morning, I rolled out of the absurdly comfortable bed and landed face-first on the floor.
"Uhhhh..."
Yep.
About all I had left.
Sleepless nights weren't anything new. My old life had plenty of those.
Most of them didn't involve someone else's memories pouring through my skull while my brain tried to sort through several lifetimes' worth of information.
I stayed on the floor.
Standing sounded like a problem for future me.
"Yaaawn... What a wonderful sleep."
A familiar voice drifted down from above.
"How about you, Seer?"
A vein twitched in my forehead.
Right.
This asshole.
Perfect timing, as always.
"What's wrong? You're looking a little groggy to m..."
I swiped at his legs.
He dodged.
"Ah!"
Sleazy floated backward, laughing.
"You're gonna have to try harder than that, my man!"
I pushed myself onto one elbow and glared at him.
"Why did you dodge?! You're a ghost!"
His laughter got louder.
I muttered something vaguely threatening and dragged myself off the floor.
One look in the bathroom mirror nearly convinced me to lie back down.
Dark circles sat beneath my eyes.
My hair pointed in directions hair had no business pointing.
My face looked like death had beaten me in an argument.
So...
About normal lately.
Regrettably.
I splashed cold water over my face, brushed my teeth, and wrestled my hair into a ponytail.
A shower sounded nice.
Then I checked the time.
Six in the morning.
Class started at seven.
...
Yeah.
No.
I was already cutting things close, and finding out whether the ghosts followed me into the shower ranked somewhere near the bottom of my list of morning priorities.
They were technically versions of me.
Still weird.
Even I had standards.
Once I looked somewhat alive, I shuffled back into the living room.
Then stopped.
Two boxes sat near the couch.
Not much, considering I'd brought almost nothing from my old room. Academy supplies, most likely.
The thing laid neatly across the couch stole my attention instead.
For half a second, every trace of exhaustion vanished.
"Woah."
The Vanguard uniform.
I stared.
I'd seen one more times than I cared to count.
On other students.
Across courtyards.
Down hallways.
In stupid daydreams I always killed off before they got too far.
There had never been much point in imagining myself wearing one.
Until now.
The uniform was waiting for me.
Mine.
For a few seconds, everything else faded.
The memories.
Carlos.
Tias.
Bloodrend.
All of them slipped somewhere quieter.
I had made Vanguard.
Me.
Less than two weeks ago, the idea would've sounded like a bad joke.
I picked up the uniform.
Perfect fit.
Of course.
Some ridiculous magical tailoring system was likely involved. Vanguard seemed allergic to doing anything normally.
The uniform looked far more elaborate than anything I'd worn in Studies.
A clean white shirt sat beneath fitted dark layers, paired with a deep navy tie. Gold and silver embroidery lined the edges without making the whole thing look gaudy.
Expensive.
Prestigious.
Annoyingly Vanguard.
Then came the mantle.
Deep navy.
The clasp sat over my right shoulder, letting the fabric fall diagonally behind me until nearly reaching the back of my knee.
Over the right breast rested Vanguard's insignia.
A V crossed by a sword, all enclosed inside a golden circle.
I fixed the collar.
Adjusted the mantle.
Then stepped in front of the mirror.
...
Huh.
I looked good.
Not, like, ridiculously good.
No one was writing songs about my face anytime soon.
Still.
Pretty damn good.
Especially for someone with the eyes of a corpse dug up ten minutes ago.
"You look disgusting, maggot."
My smile died.
Crimson mist curled through the corner of the mirror.
Bloody stepped out, already wearing his usual sneer.
"Oh, fuck off."
Movement flickered behind him.
Lazy appeared next, floating into view with all the urgency of a dying houseplant.
Sleazy joined him soon after, still wearing his unbearable grin.
All three looked me over.
Three faces.
Three different reactions.
None promised anything useful.
I raised a hand before a single word escaped them.
"Nope. Nope. Absolutely not."
They paused.
"You guys are not ruining this for me."
Bloody's sneer widened.
I pointed at the mirror.
"I look great, alright? You're not taking this away from me. You hear me?!"
Silence.
Half a second later, Sleazy folded over laughing.
Bloody joined him.
I stared at both of them.
Lazy looked away.
"Fuck all of you."
I stormed from the room while their laughter followed me down the hall.
Getting to class was easier than expected.
For all Vanguard's obsession with drowning everything in luxury, the floor itself was simple enough to navigate.
Signs covered the halls.
Lecture rooms were clearly marked.
Getting lost would've required effort.
Servants stood throughout the corridors too, ready to point students in the right direction.
Helpful!
Sure, every servant I approached seemed to stiffen.
A few shivered.
One guy stuttered so badly I asked him to repeat himself three times before he rushed off and nearly tripped over his own feet.
But...
Normal servant behavior.
Definitely.
The servants back home did stuff like that all the time.
...
I think.
I scratched my cheek and kept walking.
Now I thought about it...
No.
The other students were stranger.
They were avoiding me.
At first, I ignored the pattern.
One student saw me coming and moved aside.
Whatever.
Then another.
Then two more.
By the next hallway, people were making space before I got anywhere near them.
I slowed.
A girl approached from the opposite direction.
She looked up.
Our eyes met.
Her face drained of color.
She moved aside immediately.
I stopped.
...
What the hell?
I glanced over my shoulder.
Nobody there.
When I looked back, she was already hurrying away.
"What did I do?"
No answer.
Obviously.
I kept walking, more suspicious now.
Some Vanguard hazing tradition?
Ignore the new guy?
Pretend everyone's terrified of him?
Stupid enough to qualify.
Another student rounded the corner ahead.
He saw me.
Stopped.
Then stepped very deliberately out of my path.
Okay.
Now I was getting annoyed.
I scowled and walked faster.
Bad idea.
The reaction was immediate.
Everyone gave me even more room.
One guy practically flattened himself against the wall.
I stared at him while passing.
He studied the floor like his life depended on finding something interesting down there.
...
What the fuck?
Then I heard the whispers.
Quiet at first.
Still loud enough.
"Isn't he the guy...?"
I kept walking.
"He was involved in the God Tree incident."
My pace slowed.
Another voice joined in.
"Wasn't another Studies student with him?"
"Yeah. Where is he?"
A pause.
Then someone spoke softer.
"Do you think...?"
"He killed him."
My stomach dropped.
I stopped moving.
The hallway vanished.
Polished floors.
Gold trim.
Students.
All of them disappeared beneath four words.
He killed him.
Guilt closed around my chest.
Carlos.
For one horrible second, I saw him again.
Not the future Apostle.
Not the disaster I'd been trying to prevent.
Carlos.
The idiot who wanted to become a hero.
The person who trusted me.
The person who walked into the tree beside me and never walked back out.
Whispers continued behind me.
"Why did he stop?"
"Dude, I think he heard you."
"I told you not to say it so loud."
"That's why you don't say shit like that!"
My jaw tightened.
"Seer."
Sleazy appeared beside me.
No laughter this time.
I kept my eyes forward.
"Seer, leave it."
I didn't care.
Bloody drifted into view on my other side.
Unlike Sleazy, he looked perfectly comfortable.
Arms crossed.
Sneer spreading.
He gave me a small nod.
Encouragement.
Of course.
Around me, the hallway had changed.
No one bothered pretending anymore.
Students lined both sides of the corridor, leaving an empty circle around me.
Not curiosity.
Distance.
They looked at me like standing too close carried some kind of risk.
Now I understood.
The God Tree.
Carlos.
Rumors had already spread.
A Studies student entered the God Tree.
A monster appeared.
Someone with fiendish blood magic fought an enemy far beyond his level.
Two Studies students entered.
One came back.
Whatever version people believed, the ending stayed the same.
Carlos went in with me.
Carlos never returned.
Fear.
Reverence.
Disgust.
Prejudice.
Sooner or later, all of them started looking the same.
I bit my lip.
Hard.
Pain flashed.
Blood touched my tongue.
Fuck this.
Fuck them.
Fuck him.
The snake bastard.
Whoever leaked my business around the academy had made a serious mistake.
When I found him, we were going to have a conversation.
A painful one.
"Kamrik."
Lazy appeared in front of me.
For once, no boredom showed on his face.
"Do not."
"Move."
"You're not angry at them."
I stared straight through him.
"I know."
Lazy froze.
Sleazy glanced at me.
Bloody's grin widened.
I turned around.
The student who'd said those words stiffened.
He looked close to my age. Slightly taller.
His face went pale the moment our eyes met.
His friend grabbed his sleeve.
"Hey."
The guy looked over.
"Let's go."
Too late.
I walked toward them.
The crowd moved first.
Fast.
A clear path opened between us.
Several students backed away.
Someone muttered, "Shit."
Another voice hissed at them to shut up.
"Seer."
Sleazy appeared beside me again.
His smile was gone.
Completely gone.
"Think about this."
Bloody floated along my other side.
"Why?"
His tone almost sounded pleasant.
"Go on, maggot."
I kept moving.
The student's friend tugged harder on his arm.
"Dude. Move."
He tried.
I grabbed his shoulder.
His eyes widened.
"Wait."
I spun him around.
Then punched him in the face.
CRACK.
"AHK!"
His head snapped sideways.
Blood burst from his nose.
He dropped.
The hallway went silent.
Not quieter.
Silent.
Every whisper died.
I stared down at him.
My knuckles stung.
Nothing else did.
No shock.
No hesitation.
No sudden horror over punching someone in the middle of Vanguard on my first morning.
Mostly, I felt tired.
So fucking tired.
"Kamrik."
Lazy floated into my path.
"Stop."
I looked at him.
Shrugged.
"It's fine."
His expression hardened.
"No. This is clearly not fine."
"I was already headed toward a delinquent reputation."
I stepped past him.
"Might as well get an early start."
Lazy stared.
Then clicked his tongue.
"On your first day?"
I ignored him.
"You haven't even reached class."
A laugh nearly escaped me.
Nearly.
The student groaned beneath me and tried to push himself upright.
I looked around.
A decent chunk of the first-year Vanguard students had gathered by now.
Some looked horrified.
Some scared.
Others stared without blinking.
One girl covered her mouth.
Someone near the back took a step forward, then stopped when I looked over.
Nobody spoke.
Good.
I looked down again.
Still conscious.
For some reason, seeing him awake irritated me more.
I stepped over him.
Then sat on his torso.
His eyes widened.
"Wait!"
I punched him again.
His head struck the floor.
The crowd flinched.
Again.
Someone gasped.
Again.
His body went limp.
Three.
Enough.
I stayed there another second.
My fist remained raised.
No one moved.
Even Bloody had gone silent.
No disapproval.
He watched.
Sleazy looked uncomfortable.
His smile had come back, but the expression looked wrong.
Tight.
Forced.
Lazy stared at me without a trace of amusement.
I lowered my fist.
Then stood.
The student lay unconscious beneath me, blood trailing from his nose across one cheek.
I nudged him onto his side with my boot.
Silence held the hallway.
I looked around.
Every student who met my eyes quickly looked somewhere else.
"Don't talk about shit involving me when you don't know what happened."
My voice came out quieter than expected.
The silence somehow deepened.
"That goes for everyone here."
I pointed at the unconscious student.
"If any of you start making shit up about me again..."
My eyes moved across the crowd.
"I'll do the same thing to you."
Nobody answered.
I frowned.
"Okay?"
A few students nodded.
...
Good enough.
I turned toward my classroom.
Lazy followed without speaking.
Sleazy came too.
Bloody stayed behind for a moment, staring down at the unconscious student with clear disappointment over the beating ending early.
Then he drifted after us.
I shoved my hands into my pockets and kept walking.
My knuckles hurt.
My head still pounded.
And beneath everything else, three words refused to leave.
He killed him.
I had.
That was the problem.