Tsuna rolled in his bed nervously, his mind spinning and a giddy feeling filling his chest.
She liked him.
He tried to go to sleep several times but Morpheus just did not seem to be able to take him this night.
She liked him.
He dragged his pillow over his face, burning with embarrassment.
Nagi liked him.
How? What had he done to make a girl like that develop a crush on him? The thought sent both butterflies and confusion spiraling through his chest.
Sure, he had saved her life. Sure, he had poured his effort into making her comfortable. Sure, he had held her when her fragile state nearly overwhelmed her. Sure, he had told her again and again how precious she was to him and even proved it by offering her his home…
…okay, he could see it.
He did not think he was anything special, but even he could understand how this happened, even if part of him remained baffled.
Someone like Nagi should not like someone like him, even after all that.
She was stunning. Beautiful enough to be on TV if she wanted. She was kind, gentle, painfully easy to love. The type of girl Tsuna would dream about and then sigh over, knowing she was out of reach.
He knew he was changing. Knew he was no longer the bottom of the barrel.
But…
He still felt like No-Good Tsuna.
The nervous energy in every social interaction. The words that stuck awkwardly in his chest. The constant fear of approaching others, never knowing how they would treat him.
All of it still clung to him. A weakness he wanted gone but knew would take time.
The only easy conversations he had were with Hana and Nagi. Hana carried their talks while Tsuna followed her lead, reacting to the hand she extended. Nagi, on the other hand, reminded him too much of himself for his guard to stay fully raised.
Even Kyoko, who was just as kind to him, remained at arm's length. He never approached her, content with the small interactions she offered.
He might sound confident when talking to Reborn, but that came from understanding their roles. Reborn was his mentor and an insufferable smug bastard. All Tsuna had to do was listen, learn, and snark back when the man pushed too far.
Their entire dynamic assumed blows might be exchanged at any moment.
Lucifer was technically his underling. Their conversations were pleasant, but Tsuna still felt understandably hesitant about getting close to the admittedly adorable devil.
Tsuna let the pillow slip from his face, staring into the darkness it left behind. The giddiness from earlier faded.
He was afraid.
Afraid of letting people get close. Afraid that if they did, they would hurt him.
He had more than enough examples.
The pièce de résistance was his father.
Tsuna's teeth ground together as he tossed the pillow aside, the urge to burn off the pressure suddenly overwhelming.
He dropped to the floor and pushed through exercise after exercise, ignoring the way his body begged him to stop.
He knew his father was involved with his suffering. That was a fact he could not run from, at one point Tsuna loved him. Trusted the man to hold up the sky and scare the monsters away. A moment in which he would beg for convoluted stories and laugh joyfully at the stupid expressions he wore.
Then the man left.
Those same convoluted stories became excuses to stay away. He would not even look at Tsuna anymore, let alone play with him. When he did return, it was only to drink and feed Nana excuse after excuse that she accepted with a strained smile.
Tsuna hated what his father had become.
And now that he knew the truth…
The flames flickering beneath his skin were proof enough of how he felt.
How was he supposed to trust anyone when even his own father had done something so vile to him?
His arms finally gave out.
Tsuna hit the floor hard, body trembling as pain spread through his muscles. He gritted his teeth, lying there and feeling utterly worthless.
The bright spots in his life felt very far away.
Anger was the only thing keeping the deeper hurt at bay.
That old wound had him doubting even the precious friends he had made. Would Hana really stick around once she learned the truth of this world?
Why would she choose the danger of the supernatural when she was set for a perfectly normal, wonderful life without him?
Nagi felt even more fragile in his thoughts. She only liked him because he was all she had. The only safe harbor in the lonely sea she had been drowning in.
How long until she realized she could do better?
Better than this awkward boy who could not even say he liked her without fearing the outcome.
The flickering spark of purple shivered and dimmed. The ball of indigo throbbed like a frantic heartbeat.
He wanted to trust these bonds. Wanted to hold that literal connection between them and let go of his fears.
He just did not know if he could.
The door to his room creaked open.
Tsuna looked up, confused.
Nagi stood in the doorway again. Dressed in the pajamas his mother had lent her, she looked nervous, scared, and deeply uncertain.
Her hand clutched at her chest as she stared at him, trembling.
"Tsuna?" she whispered.
She stepped into the room slowly, like a cautious cat unsure if it was safe to approach.
Tsuna pushed himself upright and forced a confident smile onto his face, even though it felt painfully fake.
"What's up, Nagi-chan? Can't sleep?"
The question hung between them.
He tried to be the confident boy she liked. Tried to be someone he absolutely did not feel like right now.
Nagi did not answer. She only moved closer, her grip on her chest tightening.
The smile he wore cracked at the silence between them, the worries that were filling his mind earlier coming back like a storm.
Fearing what she was here to do.
The indigo throbbed faster and faster
Nagi grimaced. Sweat beaded along her skin as a soft groan slipped from her lips.
Tsuna froze, the spiraling thoughts stopping in an instant as he saw what was happening. He was pushing the connection between them, not wanting to hold it in his darkest thoughts and it was hurting her.
Of course it was.
He was clutching a piece of her very being to his chest. Just as the thought of extinguishing his flames made his stomach twist, she must feel the rejection he was pouring into the bond.
Shame flooded him. Apologies rose to his lips.
Before he could speak, she reached him.
She stumbled forward, collided with his chest, and pushed him back onto the floor in a clumsy hug. Her arms wrapped around him.
He felt his breath hitch.
Her warmth pressed against him. The way she melted into his frame. The fragile girl he had once held now felt strangely steady in his arms.
Every spiraling thought in his mind came to a screeching halt.
"What… what are you doing?" he stuttered.
His face burned bright red. His body trembled under her touch.
"It… it felt like you needed a hug," she said softly.
There was confusion in her voice, but also a quiet steel he never expected from her.
Tsuna looked away, overwhelmed.
"I'm sorry," he blurted.
Nagi looked at him with a deep frown.
"The pain you're feeling… I did that. I hurt you," Tsuna admitted bitterly.
His mood sank even lower.
Nagi stared at him for a long moment. Then she tightened her arms and nuzzled closer.
"You hurt me because you were hurting," she said simply, following instinct more than logic. "You are not hurting now," she added contentedly, her soft humming continuing.
Tsuna stilled, the throbbing from his flames finally pausing for a moment.
His eyes stung with tears.
"Nagi… I hurt you. And I don't know if I can stop. I forced this connection on you. You never had a choice."
Not caring at spilling any beans, it was already proven that she could be harmed with this connection so to keep her ignorant of it was not something he was willing to do.
She did not even blink at that.
"If I did not have this connection, then I would not know you were hurting. So it's alright."
Again her words were slow and soft, not a hint of doubt or worry. Just a quiet concern that seemed to fill her.
Tsuna's breath hitched. Something burned in his chest.
"You don't understand, Nagi… I'm so sorry"
She cut him off by lifting her head.
Her face hovered inches from his. Her gaze locked onto his with an intensity that stole the words from his throat. Slowly, softly, her lips curved into a small smile.
"I don't want sorry," she said.
"I want a thank you."
A mirror of his own words to her, and that was the final crack.
The tension drained out of him as his arms finally, carefully wrapped his arms around her. He held her like she might break, even as he clung to the connection.
"Thank you,"
He murmured softly, His voice cracking and his eyes moist.
Nagi let out a soft, pleased laugh and nuzzled deeper into his embrace, her quiet lullaby continuing.
Tsuna stroked her long hair slowly, soaking in the warmth of the moment.
"Will you stay?" he asked quietly.
Instead of hiding these worries and fears inside, it was better to face them.
"Always."
Her voice was soft, but utterly certain.
"Even if you find better friends? A happier place? A better man?" Not fearing the answer that might come to pass.
Nagi's laugh bubbled out, warm and strangely amused. She looked at him with gentle fondness.
"You are my Tsuna," she said simply. "I will always stay."
The lightness of her tone did nothing to hide the iron certainty beneath it.
Tsuna gave her a watery smile and let out a small, shaky laugh of his own.