My name is Arthur.
If you're wondering why I'm lying in a hospital bed, wrapped in gauze and machines that won't stop screaming every time my heart stutters…
It's because today, the world ended…
Not the world…
Just mine…
.....................................
I was just a normal 15 year old with the usual 15 year old routine
Go to school…
Get scolded by the teachers for being a lazy bum (even though I got an almost perfect grade fuck you Mr. Anderson)
Go home…
Skip doing homework to play games…
Get found out by mom and get a beating and a scolding…
Do homework while dying inside….
Finish and go back to video games…
And then go to sleep and repeat…
I used to play a lot of games darksouls, minecraft, terraria, stardew valley and other games
But after some time I found a game that stuck with me: Honkai: star rail
Be it the graphics, the characters, the gameplay i liked them all but something especially stuck with me which was the lore
Be it the lore of the world, the Aeons or the characters i read every bit of lore i could find
So i played the game for hours every day playing simulated universe which later became currency war (best game mode ever) or collecting lore from item descriptions or collectibles
I enjoyed each day…until that accursed day came knocking on my door…
That day my parents got invited to a dinner by one of my father's friends…
Mom told me to "dress properly," (which is pretty much telling me not to wear a hoodie)
Normal annoyance. Normal evening.
But when I stepped into the car, something twisted inside my chest.
Not pain.
Not fear.
Something colder.
Like a hand closing around my heart.
Something bad is going to happen.
The thought surfaced in my brain.
Yet I buried it immediately.
I told myself I was being dramatic.
I told myself nothing ever happens.
...........................…
I was wrong.
.............................
The drive was quiet, Comfortable and Warm.
My parents talked softly in the front seats. I barely listened.
Streetlights slid across the windows like passing specters.
My eyelids grew heavy.
I told myself I'd just close them for a second.
Just a second.
...........................…
When I opened them again…
The world was screaming.
Metal shrieking like something alive being torn apart.
Glass exploding inward like shrapnel.
The smell of burning plastic and blood so thick it coated the back of my throat.
The car was no longer a car.
It was a crushed coffin.
My body hung from the seat belt, upside down, pain in every part of my body.
And in front of me…
Two shapes.
Not people.
Not anymore.
Broken things slumped against the ruined dashboard.
Twisted. Wet. Wrong.
So mangled I couldn't even recognize their faces.
But my heart told me the truth.
Mom…
Dad…
...........................…..
My heart slammed against my ribs like it was trying to escape.
My lungs burned from the smoke and the thick iron scent of blood.
I tried to scream.
Nothing came out except a sound like a strangled animal.
Then, through the roaring in my skull, I heard my father's voice - not real, just a past memory.
Stay calm.
Check where you'll land.
Unbuckle.
Get out.
My hands moved on their own.
The buckle clicked.
I fell hard into a sea of glass, even if I tried my best to dodge it.
Pain flared. Yet I barely felt it.
Crawl. Reach. Pull.
The door wouldn't open.
Of course it wouldn't.
So I did what he taught me.
I smashed the window with my elbow and dragged myself through jagged edges that peeled skin like paper.
And somehow…
I made it outside.
...........................….
Cold air hit me.
Real air.
I should have felt relief.
Instead, I turned around.
...........................
The car was already burning.
Flames crawled across twisted metal like hungry animals, devouring everything they touched.
Inside, the two shapes didn't move.
Didn't scream.
Didn't even twitch.
Just burned.
Even as The fire grew brighter.
Hotter.
And in that moment, something inside my chest collapsed inward, like a dying star.
A single thought formed, quiet and simple:
I should still be in there.
Because if I had stayed…
They wouldn't be alone.
..........................
Sirens wailed somewhere far away, like sounds from another universe.
Hands grabbed me. Voices shouted. Lights flashed red and blue across the night.
None of it mattered.
None of it reached me.
All I could see was the fire.
All I could smell was burning.
All I could think about was how the last traces of my parents were turning into ash in front of me… and I had crawled away and left them behind.
My lips moved on their own.
One word.
Over and over.
A confession.
A prayer.
A useless apology to people who would never hear it.
"Sorry."
Sorry I lived.
Sorry I got out.
Sorry I couldn't save you.
Sorry I wasn't the son you deserved.
Sorry.
…Sorry
...Please forgive me
.........................................
After what felt like an eternity, I woke up in this place.
A hospital room.
White walls. White sheets. White light that burned my eyes.
Everything smelled sterile. Empty.
Dead.
I tried to move my legs.
Nothing happened.
No pain.
No resistance.
Nothing.
Just… nothingness
My fingers tightened around the sheets.
I tried again.
Still nothing.
"…Ah."
A hollow sound escaped my throat, something between a laugh and a sob.
"So that's why…"
That's why I couldn't feel my legs.
Why I could only drag myself forward with my arms inside the car.
A broken laugh slipped out.
"Of course."
Of course that wasn't enough.
Of course the world wasn't done taking.
"What more do you want from me…?"
My voice cracked into nothing.
"What else is there to take?!"
Silence answered.
Who was I even blaming?
Fate?
The world?
The universe?
No.
Deep down, I knew the truth.
I was blaming myself.
Why did I leave the car?
Why didn't I stay with them?
Why did I choose to live?
"They must have been so lonely…"
My nails dug into my palms.
"Sorry… I'm sorry… please… please forgive me…"
.......................
The door opened.
A nurse stepped inside.
She froze when she saw my eyes open, surprise flashing across her face.
Then it faded.
And what replaced it was worse.
Pity.
Pure, naked pity.
Why…?
Why are you looking at me like that?
Why would anyone feel sorry for someone like me?
I don't deserve pity.
This is what I deserve.
This is what cowards get for running away.
"Please…" I whispered, voice shaking. "Just… don't look at me like that."
My vision blurred.
"Please stop…"
Just…just please stop looking at me…